Watergirl18 - If you could please



  • Hi Watergirl, Chappies here. Would it maybe possible to do a reading for me as well. Would like to know about family in particular? Yes we all have a cross to carry with children, will very much appreciate it.

    Thank you

    Chappies



  • Hi Chappies - yes, I will, but am just about to take a "break" so it will be later on today. Just to be clear, are you saying that you need some clarity on your relationship with your children in general or is there a particular child you are worried about?



  • sorry for interrupting, just wanted to ask watergirl if you could take a look on my thread and do a reading if you can, i would really appreciate it 🙂



  • I'll check it out tomorrow Nency...



  • No problem Watergirl when ever you have time. Yes please I have two sons still at home and want to know what is laying ahead for them. Markus Visagie DOB 29/5/90 - Had a cornea transplant a year ago, have the other to do sometime or other - succesfull thank the Lord - but not going anyware fast? Not a problem child besides being lazy 🙂 Nice child. But then for my problem child! Was thinking of Jayde's boyfriend and I have the same problem with Wayne Nakoul DOB 7/9/75. Yes a big man already!! Moved out when he was about 25 and back home again for the last 2 years. Became a drug addict at the age of 30 (dont know WHERE his brains was) and been having problems getting him off the cocaine since but to no avail. he does sooo wel and then just 1 day he is gone and stays away for a week or two. I have tried everything and I mean everything even chasing him away but then he just goes back to the people he gets the stuff from. He owes them thousands and we have paid some but NO MORE as I said as long as I am not paying they wont give him credit. He has been to rehab but was out a month and back on the stuff again! Dont know what to do anymore. Where is his life pointing to? I Yolanda Visagie am 57 and DOB 27/10/54 and at this stage of my life dont want burden myself or my husband (as he is getting tired of the situation, and dont blame him ( my 2nd husband Rudolph Gerhardus Visagie DOB 12/10/66) but just dont know anymore. Wayne is such a good person, and he does sooo well for himself if not on this stuff but says we dont understand. Well I DONT want to understand anymore but just dont know from here? Sorry I am writing a book here but I will appreciate you shedding some light on the overall situation.

    Thank you so much and when you have time there is no urgency 🙂 And thank you again for what you did for Jayde she is going to be home today( Monday ) and she is fine.



  • Hi Watergirl18

    I have a question please.

    My niece Elinor(Aries)& husband Mark(Leo) had an affair and she got so upset about it that she have not really forgiven him. He broke up the affair and no longer doing it thats what he says & I believe him.

    I dont know if I'm right I just have the feeling he is telling the truth. In my eyes he is actually a nice guy but we dont really know what happens behind close door.

    But then 2 years ago she started an affair too but now she says she broke up with him. We have a feeling she is lying she still has the boyfriend and keeping it a secret.She will be gone for hours and no one knows where she is so she is probably seeing the boyfriend.

    She says she is very unhappy with her husband and she's staying only for the sake of the 4

    children. I guess the husband doesnot want a divorce after all he has 5 people to support.

    She has never worked. He makes good money. She is blaming it all to the husband. But I would like to say it takes two to tango in a marriage. Her mother(my sister a scorpio) has advised her what she should do. I hate to say this but its kind of vindictive kind of advice. Regular Scorpio character I must say. Its her daughter so what can you do but just listen.

    Do you think this marriage is going to last? If so how long more or less.

    Thank you so much for your insights & many blessings to you.



  • Chappies,

    Ahhh, my dear....I have a long message, but in a nutshell you really need to cut the apron strings! Go to the library and get some books on enabling and co-dependency. With regard to both sons I am getting a very clear message that you need to stop mothering - or should I say smothering - them. They are grown men not babies. I know you love them and want to do everything for them, but you need to realize that you are actually creating men that do not have the desire to grow up and take care of themselves (and possibly may not even have the ability at this point). Seriously - time to cut the apron strings! Neither one of your boys will learn to stand on their own two feet provided you are around to provide for them, coddle them, pick up after them, etc. The very first thing that needs to happen is for you to have this epiphany about the co-dependency that has been created here (seriously, do you want to be like that woman who was lying about harboring a runaway teenager for her son?). THEN, you must gather your courage and cut them both off. Set STRONG boundaries and then do not budge. Unforunately, you are going to have to throw them into cold water and resist the temptation to jump in and save them. Rather, give them the time and space to learn how to swim on their own. Your younger son needs to move out of the house and the sooner the better. Otherwise, he will be following in the footsteps of your older son. And frankly, I'm not all that convinced he hasn't begun to already. He needs to grow up, get a job, and learn to take care of himself. Period. He's not going to like it, but if you love him you will do what feels uncomfortable for you in order to do what's best for him. Your older son, well that one will be more difficult. He may have gone to rehab before, but it doesn't appear to have been a serious effort on his part - more like just appeasing you temporarily. The reality is that even if he does go of his own accord, he will need to remain connected to a rehab program once he gets out - through NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings, therapy or something of the sort. I also do not see him getting serious about rehab until - once again - you cut the apron strings. Brace yourself because this will most likely involve things getting worse before they get better. Yes, he most likely will begin by running back to the people that are part of his drug-addicted world. You must let this happen rather than caving and allowing him to continue the way he is at home. If you just cannot bring yourself to tell him he is no longer welcome at the house until he gets his act together, then you MUST Set very clear, very strong boundaries and rules about staying there. If he is not working, then he needs a clear deadline for getting a job and paying some sort of rent. AND if you see or even suspect him of doing cocaine or anything else either inside or outside of the house, he is kicked out - regardless. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Just pack your things and move on. No exceptions. No wringing of the hands and thinking "oh my poor baby - where will he go, what will he do?" Strength. Commitment and dedication to doing whatever it takes to snap him out of this downward spiral he is on. Saving him or sparing him in any way only HURTS him all the more. I know I am being very strong and blunt in my communication but I feel like you really need a wake-up call. I know how hard this will be on you, but you can do it. If you have an uncontrollable urge to mother and take care of another being's needs, then smother your husband with love or volunteer your time in the children's wing at your local hospital or something. Just don't do it for your grown, adult sons!

    Hang in there - your husband can lend you support and strength as I feel he is ready for this change as well.

    Blessings,

    Watergirl



  • Hi Watergirl18

    Could I have a reading please. Its above your response to chappies

    Thank you & blessings



  • Hi Watergirl18

    Could I have a reading please.



  • Watergirl WOW! Some reading! I happen to agree with "some" and the not with "some". You are not strong and blunt - as I prefer people to be straight and honest as I am. May I start by saying - My younger son IS and HAS and presently been working since leaving school. He does pay me rent (on my instruction) and he gives it on payday every month. The only reason he lives here still is (as I said) had an eye operation due to having keretaconis as he was going blind. He still has to have the other eye done. He does not earn a huge salary (due to, again people found it a problem employing him with his eye problem and were gratefull for the job he did find) therefore still here. He also pays his own medical aid as well that is very expensive. He is NOT at all like his brother. He does go out with his friends and have a good time but dont over do it. His brother on the other hand being an addict, like I said before we have gone thru all the above what you have written and given me "advice" on Thank you. We have thrown him out already and again picked him up from the gutter. He (by the way) has worked since the age of 14 on weekends and holidays when he was still in school. Has worked and payed his way untill his problem started again about 2 years ago, and even on drugs he can sell an eskimo ice! He is NOT lazy to work and all that knows him tells you that he is a good worker! He has a drug problem and we are trying to help him cope with it. What I wanted to know is what do you maybe see in the future for them? Will they overcome these obsticles? And A BIG YES! I am a real softy but ONLY till a point and wont tolerate them doing what they want under my roof as I DO have my rules as well and they HAVE to adere to it and they do! Thats why he dissapears for a week or 2 at a time. I dont feel that I 'smother' them NO, as I grew up in an orphanage, looked after myself since the age of 16, and believe in you having to look after yourself. I have brought up my kids as best I could only for the problems the boys have (besides that they are good kids). The 2 girls are doing fine and no problems there. As for "smothering" my husband with love, he will probably tell you that is the case and NOT my sons BELIEVE ME. My urges as you put it is also NOT uncontrollable. Being a Scorpion I dont have to say more. O and I DO DO charity work as well! I am a housewife, clean my own house, do my own garden and with no help, and run a small bussines from home. I also try to please everybody, and help everybody where I can. And if you read what I wrote on Jaydes messages I said "Quote" I cannot believe that a mother can do that to another mother knowing what she must be going thru not knowing whereher child is. "Unquote. If that should happen to me I will phone the mother right away and sort out what ever needed to be sorted out - I could NEVER do that to another mother! As for me having to wake-up my husband has been MORE lenient regarding all this than me, I am the 'hard' one, and yes he is very supportive and he is the younger one's father. Thank you anyway for the advice I do appreciate it and will try and do what I can to help them on their way.

    God Bless

    Chappies



  • Hi Watergirl18

    Could i have a reading please. in regards of my love life. pretty please?


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