Cancer Man, And He Is Confusing Pt. 2



  • THE BOOKS I HAVE READ IN THE PAST, STATED THAT CANCERIANS DO LIVE IN THEIR MINDS IN THE PAST, THEY OFTEN DO RETURN TO FORMER LOVES, OR THEY AT LEAST STAY FRIENDS WITH THEM, VISITS ONCE IN A WHILE, IT DEPENDS TOO ON THE HUMANS MIND, THEY HAVE, ARE THEY DISTRUBED, OR NORMAL, OR NOT. YOU CAN'T EXPECT A BI POLAR OR ATTENTION DEF. DISORDER OR ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF HUMAN TO ACT OKAY.DAILY. ESP. IF UNTREATED, PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE. FORGE AHEAD AND REALIZE WHEN YOU ARE AGE SIXTY, YOU WILL THINK YOU WERE SILLLY TO BE SAD OVER ANYONE IN LIFE. FIND SOLACE IN HAVING A CUTE TINY PET DOG, PETS NEED US ALL, AND ARE MORE DEVOTED TO US, NINETY MILLION PETS NOW LIVE INTO USA HOMES, AND TWENTHY YRS AGO, THEY WERE KEPT OUTSIDE. IF YOU WANT A CUTE SMALL PET, YOU CAN ALSO LITTER BOX TRAIN THE DOG, EASILY INSIDE, THEY WILL RESPOND TO LITTLE TREATS OF CHEESE AND LISTEN TO SOFT TALK, BE PATIENT, AND DO KNOW THEY CAN BE LITTER BOX TRAINED, AND THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO WALK THEM, JUST KNOW THEY WILL TEND TO TRY TO SOIL CARPETS AS IT FEELS SOFT LIKE OUTSIDE GRASS., THEY ARE NOT HUMAN, BUT THEWORD DOG, IS GOD SPELLED BACKWARDS AND THEY ARE LOVE. OFTEN YOU CAN FIND ONE THRU SOME RURAL AREA NEWSPAPER WHERE YOU CAN PUTIN THE WANTED COLUMN ;WANTED ;,SMALL PET FOR QUIET HOME, DON'T EXPECT ANY PET TO BE CALM IF YOU HAVE LOUD OR RILED UP CHILDREN RUNNING THRU YOUR HOUSE.



  • My Cancer ex:

    Good Looking, smart, great cook as am I, got jealous of all my male friends often accusing me of cheating on him. I didnt. He would get mood swings, sweet one minute and snappy and a sook the next minute. He was really romantic. He was full on. I was his everything in this relationship which lasted for 4 months. He lived and breathed me. He sent me poems, made hearts out of chicken breast, he said I love you (all the time) and I would say I love you more and he would reply....no i love you more. When I left Buneos Aires he sobbed for two weeks straight, didn't eat, was sad and spent hours with me on the net. His mother was a problem as she would call all the time and asking him where he is at, what is he doing and Juan (Cancer) would get angry with his mother and say stop calling me etc........Juan use to go through my phone messages and emails. I felt I had to justify myself to him. Really he wore me out. I tried leaving him and only to have him beg to take him back. We started to fight the last two weeks before I broke up with him. It was about him not spending time with me like before. I was the one waiting around for him. It hurt me when he said "you are no longer my life"....................I think he meant he is finally letting go of his need for me all the time and finally working to sort out his life in Buenos Aires. He had money problems, needed a job etc...........He also lied to me about going to a G A Y club. I hate to be lied to. Juan is known to lie. He tells lies to his mother. This didnt make me feel good. I turned the tables on him. I started treating him the way he treated me. I accused him of cheating and he insisted that he hasn't. He said he is not the type to sleep around(he was loyal to me) I even tried to catch him out but sending him a friend request on facebook. In his reply "thanks but I have a boyfriend"............I started to send him sarcastic text messages: Thanks for letting me wait online for you. Did you and your new boyfriend have a good time together.......stuff like that. He use to get so mad. As for love, I really think he did love me. He said he has never been this in love before. What did I do to him etc......I broke up with him and now he wont talk to me. I havnt been stalking him or asking him to get back. He has not said He doesnt love me anymore. I also asked him in an email if you want me to leave you alone say so. I still hasnt said leave me alone. He accused me of controlling him and I wasn't. I felt controlled by him. He said "he wanted a relationship with me but with less control? When I spoke to him yesterday, he said he didnt want to talk to me and cut the call off. We have broken up now for 3 weeks. I am a typical Libra. I get a lot of guys interested in me. I can honestly say I have 5 guys to choose from if I wanted to. I have always said to the guys that I am not after relationship or casual meetings.......I am a very friendly and sociable person. People are drawn to me. They say I am good looking but I dont see it. Anyhow, Cancer man is driving me nuts!



  • I you want to check our blog out and see all the romantic things we said and sent to each other:

    google Long Distance Love EYB

    you can leave comments because I think he still reads it.



  • Zhyane- you and your man didn't respect each other and the relationship. What trust there was, is gone. You have a right to think what your thinking . Your Juan learned from his mom to be needy and clingy and SOME Cancers are naturally that way too ( mines not, he's more business) I think Juan is BISEXUAL He's been hiding it from his momma. He is so used to hiding it. There are a lot of bi males that live double lives. Some are married to women for years, that have no clue about them being bi. I had a guy friend that was married to a woman for years and he would cheat on her with women he was never satisfied, something about him made me ask him if he was bicurious, he was. A few months later, he contacted me and told me he had left his wife for a guy and he was very happy. Did I help destroy a marriage? no, it wasn't a marriage anymore a long time before.

    A lot of people think that when a person says they "Love you" that it automatically means " I will ONLY love you" and "I will be faithful" " That since I love you, we can beat ANY problems we are having" it doesn't mean any of that at all. The feelings that your having about this relationship are a sign you need to cut off all contact and move on, too much DRAMA. Don't be angry, take it as a lesson in life. First become friends with your next guy. Give respect and trust, time to build, you need a strong base for a relationship to last. Fast into a relationship is usually fast out. Pay attention to the relationship a man has with his mother, it tells you a lot about how he views women and how he treats them. Remember that some people tell others "I love you" very quickly and when your in an argument, to control you. I'm not saying that a person can't truly love another person but, respect for each other and trust gives the word Love the meaning that we are actually looking for.



  • WOW! Zhyane, my cancer is such a liar. I think they are habitual liars and its part of their game. I agree though, I hate to be lied to. I am probably one of the most honest people you could ever meet, in fact so honest that I have been called untactful. And all my friends know that if you don't want to know the truth then they had better not ask me. I don't understand why they think they need to lie, even about the simple stuff. I see that my cancer is a good man in general, and deeply cares for his family and friends, but when the mood strikes, they can be evil. I have often wondered what it is about them that we just can't or won't let go. I know myself there are other good men out there, but I can't escape cancer. I am a virgo and I am a true, 100% virgo, I expect perfection in everything I do, to the point of obsession at times. Everything in it's perfect little place at all times, and everything so very neat and tidy, and very organized. He laughs at these things and does'nt get irritated with my obsessions, and at the same time this relationship and the way he gets hot and cold all of a sudden with never a word or explanation, is so far from perfect it almost feels like chaos to me. I don't understand why I think I would'nt want to spend a day without him in this so imperfect relationship. I do have great respect for him though, and he is a hard worker. There are so many good things about him, but there are just as many bad. I just can't seem to let go. And they hate ultimatums, that only makes them more angry and shut down. So I keep on going, loving him when he's here, and trying to hate him when he's not, and never letting him know how bad I feel sometimes.



  • Zhayne,

    First of all can I say, you say the reason you broke up was to avoid all the drama and it sounds like there was way too much while you were in the relationship. You are in 2 different countries now and a long distance relationship is even harder if there isn’t a foundation of trust and stability. It doesn’t sound like you had it when you were living in the same city and it got worse once you put further miles between you. Unfortunately, the confusion Cancers create can unintentionally bring out peoples’ insecurities. They are loving, caring and nurturing individuals, but then they can do a 180 on you if they feel they have been rejected or slighted. I’m stressing these 2 words strongly, rejected and slighted. Based on your description of how thing’s ended, I’m 99% sure this is exactly how he is feeling and from my experience it is really hard to turn them around after that. Hanging up on you is not a good sign. If he was willing to reconcile at all, he would be pretty cool but he would have stayed on the line.

    Secondly, they do have a hard time letting go, but it all depends on how strong that emotional attachment is in the first place. Mine still keeps in contact with people he has met in his travels some 10 even 20 yrs ago. They may love quickly, but they don’t fall deeply in love that quickly. I’ve had 3 different separations (long ones) with my Cancer and I can tell you each was different as we progressed in our emotional attachment. He came back to me twice and I had to this last time (over 2 ½ yrs ago).

    The other thing I’m going to throw out there for you to think about. Is his reaction now (refusing to talk to you etc) causing you to want him back even more? This question was put to me the first time we broke up. For me, the answer was no.



  • I'm new to this forum and stumbled onto it by looking up cancerean men. It was all definately interesting reading .I hope you don't mind me telling you my story.

    I will try to keep this as brief as possible even though we have a lot of history. I am an older woman and have known my cancerean man since we were 12 years old. I have known him for 40 years (you do the math) and still can't figure him out. We started out as friends and ended up as young people do as "boyfriend and girlfriend". Before I go on I am Sagitarius. We had a very strange relationship. As stable as a teenagers realtionship can be it was on and off for 2 years. Even when we weren't "going steady" we always were there for each other. I moved away and we were separated by several miles. We would talk on the phone but we both tried to move on. He hitchiked a couple of times to come see me (yes how sweet) but eventually we started to grow apart. A couple of years later I had met a guy and got pregnant. I married him. My cancerean had just bought a car and was going to come out and surprise me.He was devestated by the news when he foundout and quit school and moved to Hawaii and joined the navy. Years down the road we got back in touch by a bunch of old friends getting together. I was still married and he was single. The closness we felt for each other was not gone. We saw each other again a day or two after that before he went back. Again I felt the loss. A couple of years later me still married (in a bad marriage) and him single met up again. Instant feelings again. By this time I had 3 kids. Before leaving again he asked me to take my 3 kids, leave my husband and come back with him. I declined. This was not his mess. A few years later my mother passes away and I go through a nasty divorce. Here he comes. Again not his mess. A few years later he comes back. I'm extatic. SLAP! Hes married to a woman with 3 kids. We continue to see each other on and off years apart. i got into a relationship and lived with a man for 4 years but never married him. We had a bad break-up and again here he comes still married. In all this time we had never been intimate. Until 2 years later when he came back again and it was just the two of us that got together. There had always been my bestfriend who he was also friends with along with us. She had always knew it would happen someday. She could not be there cause she had moved to Florida. I had felt good and bad about the whole thing. We did not speak or see each other for 10 years. One being I moved and changed numbers and I never contacted him cause he was married and I felt horrible over what happened. in the summer of 2008 I had started to think about him constantly. Could not get him out of my mind. I have a friend who is clairvoyant although I do not take afvantage of her gift. We met for lunch one day and she brought it up. So I told her how I could not stop thinking about him. So she said get in touch with him he'll be real happy to hear from you. I hesitated cause of what happened and him being married and all. So I wrote a simple note saying I didn't know if he still lived at this address but if he does this is my email address. Five days later I got an email. Sorry but I can't finish this story right now I have an appoint to go to but will finish if I haven't bore everyone to death later.



  • OBSagi: WOW! NO, you're not boring!!

    This is so amazing..this common thread of personality traits. These Cancer guys really do seem to have patterns! My conclusions: They definitely don't let people they once cared about, out of their lives. They just don't ever totally "move on." They sidle away if things get too close, then come back like nothing should be different. If married, They love their families and homes but need romance and the intensity of being in love, so usually seek other women. Mine is a "J", as are a LOT of them. Mine loves to cook, I don't. They seem to like OPPOSITES......are attracted to them. They are incredibly romantic, have no trouble saying "I love you"...but when you reciprocate, watch out. Generous, thoughtful, secretive, difficult to understand. Start loving him back and prepare to have your heart broken. You can't ever seem to get over them. WOW!!!!!!!!! Do we have a sisterhood, or WHAT?



  • 2knowmeis......We are both gay males. Juan did start off b i-s e x u a l because he wasn't sure if he was gay but he now reliases he is g a y. Juan is only 25yo and still hasn't told his mother he is gay. Im sure she suspects something because he isn't that straight acting. He screams like a girl when I dog comes up to him.....Unlike me, people often are shocked to know I am gay because I am very masculine and not girly at all. Juan, even though he is a very good looking guy, he really isn't my type. I dont go for the twinky, clean cut, smooth chisled body with some campness...........but I did! I am trying to think logically but I can't seem to let go of this Cancer pain in the butt.



  • Sorry - back to my story. I got the email in 5 days and yes he was so happy to hear from me as I was to hear from him. It was now November. My father had passed away the day I mailed the letter so i was very happy to be in touch with him as he was great support for me even though he was mile away. It was great cause it was like we were back to when we had been so close. I told him how I felt and he told me how he felt which according to him was the same. We talked a couple of times on the phone but because of his schedule and mine and the time difference (5 hrs) we basically emailed. It was now the holidays, he had planned a trip to Bali and said he was sorry he had planned it before we got back in touch which I totally understood. We emailed each other up until Christmas and then - I emailed him a Merry Christmas and didn't hear from him for a week. What the??? Just went cold. After that he was kind of indifferent. I said if circumstances have changed and he can't have contact with me I understood. Oh no! I'm sorry blah blah blah. We continue emailing but more as a frindship kind of thing. OK I'm a Sag- I can roll with it. I wasn't the one who started the mushy mushy talk in the first place. Needless to say we still correspond but its me who basically writes and he just sends forwarded jokes and such. Then i get a short note stating sorry for not writing so much I get so wrapped up in work that I tend to ignore the people I care about. He works 7 days a week at pearl harbor. Well anyway needless to say all this time i thought we knew each other but come to find out I never really never did. My clairvoyant friend thinks hes going to come see me again. Why not hes been doing it for 40 years. Who knows what will happen this time.



  • I forgot to mention he just might be a true sailor and have a woman in every port.



  • Omg !! Yea he certainly sounds like a Cancer Man .. It's all about ' THEM ' and what matters

    I'm been with cancer men before and was even married to one ....for 8 yrs ,,,

    So I guess if you always want to do things His way , then you can have a chance ,, they can be

    very Self Serving ,,,,Me First Additude !! .... with awhole lot of other issues incld personal ....

    Even tho at times they can be very lovable , just so they get what they want ....

    GOOD LUCK , personally I would dump his self serving person ASP ....but then to each his own.

    lupe429



  • OH YEA FORGOT TO MENTION , THAT HE WAS LIKE

    FERNADO ,,, LIKED TO SMELL ALL THE FLOWERS ,,,,,!!

    AND NEVER SEEMED HAPPY WITH JUST ONE.... PERSON ....



  • My cancerean use to say everytime I seen him that i was his first love and I would aways have a special place in his heart. He was so broken hearted when I moved. I used to think he was teasing but he would tell everyone that even his wife. Whats up with that?



  • Any advice on how to get a straight answer from a cancer man? All I am getting is.....that when I tell him I like him, he says" I like you too"...but that still doesn't tell me anything. I mean he is still with the other gal as far as I can tell, but his relationship with her is none of my business. I can't just outright ask him if she and him are still together, I don't even know the girl. I know she is 6 years or so his senior, and we are both 27. I know that we like each other, but I also know that he likes her too, and that he doesn't want to hurt her feelings or anything. I also know that I wouldn't want him jumping into a relationship with me, only days or hours after he let go of her. I want everything to be right, and I guess it will be right, in it's own time, and plae. I am playing the "if you need someone to talk to" card right now, and it seems to be working. I am slowly starting to see that he really does like me, and that the only thing holding him back is her. I also hae complicated things by being intimate with him, when she has not, and I know that is not what he was after, but that's what happened, and neither one of us drink, so I know it wasn't because we were inibriated. I guess what i need is advice on what to do next......??...Do I stay playing the "I'll be hear for you if you need to talk" card, or do I just ask him outright what he wants from me??...As a taurus, i can be a little harsh, and sound mean, when I am not aiming to be. I also have been told that I am a little too forward in my questions.....please someone, I need advice.



  • I've just read back to the original "Cancer Man" topic and now this one.

    It's really interesting for me as I am now interested in a Cancer guy. But the situation is complex. We haven't been together, and have met only once (we work together but he lives in another city). Our friendship has developed over the phone and messenger for the last 5 months and we are hooked on each other. I am a scorpio so we are a really good match. He is 6.5 year younger than me but it never seems like it ever, as we get along so well. We really understand each other. I understand that he needs closeness and caring at some times, and space at others, a lot like I do.

    Sounds great hey? Well, he actually has a girlfriend of 2.5 years. When I first started working with him we spoke about his situation and he has been unhappy for a long time. However, the Cancer man doesn't tend to move very fast, and especially dealing with conflict. So I've had to be more patient that I thought I could ever be. I know I always have the choice to walk away, but it really is the most amazing connection I've ever had with a guy and I need to know how it may pan out. I will never push him. If I find I can't wait, then I will simply tell him that and leave. He really values honesty and I will give him nothing less.

    My advice to anyone getting involved with a Cancer guy is always be yourself, always be honest and never push him. Remember you always have a choice in life, even if it feels like you don't. Oh yeah and you will need the patience of a saint! Good luck.



  • OBSagi - your story is sad. I hope you can move on from this man.



  • catthompson- Thanks for your words. I know they weren't intended specifically for me, but for everyone in the forum, however, I felt like you were speaking directly as a friend, even if I don't know you. I am trying so hard to be patient with my cancer guy, but Im a stubborn Taurus. I am also at a pojnt whree I am tired of waiting. My cancer too has a gf but only of a short month and a half, if that long. He and I talk on the phone, and thru text messages, and on the computer. I have known him for 17 years, and lost touch for 14, and before that, we were very good friends, and could go to each other about advice, and other stuff. My problem is, I really like him, have told him I like him, but he just says 'ok'. He an I have shared an intimiate relationship as well, on a few occasions. Not just a physical one, but an emotional one. I didn't see him in 14 years, and we had just connected again thru Facebook, and his gradfather had passed. He asked me to come over so he could talk about it.....when I asked if he had told his girlfriend yet, he said he hadn't. I was the first person he called. While I was there, his girlfriend called to check on his grandfathers status, and he told her what happened only then. She asked if he wanted her to come over, and he told her he didn't. He is a hard guy to read, because when he can't sleep he is talking to me on the phone, and I am helping him thru work issues, and stresses at work (He's a nurse). He already knows I like him, since I told him that I did. Nothing has changed in our relationship as a result, however, he's still with this girl. I am going crazy because we like each other, but he is unwilling to let go of her. I just don't know how to get an answer from him. Can you or anyone else.....please please please help me get a conversation started with him about this?...I don't want to be too forward and make him go back into his shell.



  • I am an Aries and I have had the same problems with a Cancer man, and I have known this guy for 12 years now. He says he has a problem with communicating and although he tells me he has feelings for me, it gets really frustrating that I can be waiting ages to get a reply from him and when I do it is a really short reply. I go through stages of should I give up or should I hold on, should I just wait, calling psychic lines and reading tarot, just to get some answer because I can never get a straight answer from him. Everyone who knows him as said that he does like me, I try and arrange a meet up with him but he doesn't reply to that, doesn't even give a yes or a no, just leaves me hanging around in limbo.



  • jumps in the same boat ask sky....I thought I was the only one....


Log in to reply