Cancer Man, And He Is Confusing Pt. 2

  • My guy cheated with me on his wife. He apoligised to me for that. I don't think I could ever trust him even though I know how close we were. He might do or have done so with other old girlfriends. What do I know. For me I will just stay friends. He has been good to me in that sence and would love to keep him as a friend because lets face it, they are good friends. I think like one person posted You just have to make due with the kind of relationship they are capable of or move on. I believe that just about sums it up. If I ever think of getting seriously involved with this guy i will be seeking advice from my friend (the clairvoyant) just to be on the safe side. Sorry I haven't been much help in the advice department. Good luck to us all.

  • Hi Maria, After reading your blog on the Cancer Man and He is Confusing Part II, I went ahead and signed up just to reply. lol. Anyhow, this guy sounds like the same exact guy that I used to date and also born under the same sign. Your guy's behavior is similar to how mine was. I do agree with someone who replied to your blog saying that he acts like that because he knows he has you. Isn't it incredible how men act once they think they have us where they want? Well, as for me, I had to be strong and just walk away from this relationship because it was really stressing me out. I was very much in love with him and he didn't believe that I would change my number and not even tell him. I did send him an email saying that we weren't going to see each other again and I was following through with it. No response from him. Well, I think you should either email him telling him what you are planning on doing or just disappear and disconnect without letting him know. the second sounds like a good revenge for the way he has been treating you. And remember: We are valuable, special and loved. We don't need to put up with any guy's bad treatment. Best of Luck.

  • Hi all,

    I would like your opinion on something. I have told you guys my story with the Cancer guy I dated and later dumped. I didn't contact him for over 3 weeks. When I finally did call to ask if we could talk, he said no and hung up on me.

    On his facebook profile he had the same picture up there for a while. I checked his profile today (by the way he blocked me from facebook and all chat sites) I have another facebook account that allows me to see his picture but not his whole profile or his friends.......I checked it today and he has a photo of himself up that I took of him. Now, this photo was taken on a day trip we took together. That day we took many photos of each other. Some together and many single shots. Out of all his photos he has on his cmputer, why would he put one up of himself that would remind him of our day out? I mean, the photo isn't the best. He is also wearing my sun glasses. Do you think he could be playing with me, knowing that I could be checking his facebook? What do you guys think?

    Maybe I am looking more into it. I don't know.

  • Perhaps, or perhaps he just liked that photo, who knows with men?!. If he is playing with you, then he isn't being that nice, whether you dumped him or the other way round. My Cancer guy wrote a poem about me ages ago and sent it round to my friends a lot of people realising that it was about me, wasn't particularly nice but was actually quite funny and creative. He did it because he was a little ticked off with me at the time, unfortunately I did the same thing back. Which I know in hindsight perhaps I shouldn't have done. I could understand if he decided to go date other people but he hasn't and we have confirmed that we do have feelings for each other, its just at a really slow pace friendship at the moment and I guess i'm just running out of patience a little, as I wish he would just be straight and honest with me.

  • LittleLizzie: I’m glad I could help in any little way. I’m a very fortunate person to have amazing, insightful friends around me, and am very happy if I have given you something of this feeling.

    I can understand where you are, sick of waiting. What you have to ask yourself is, am I worth more than this? Would he wait around for me? I always find that when you get on with your life and focus on other things (I know it’s easier said than done), the universe has a way of giving you the very things you had to stop thinking about. I’m not saying he will come running to you but I really believe if things are meant to be there is nothing we should or could do to make it move faster, or give us what we want when we want it. Now I have finally learned this lesson, I am happier and leave things to fate. And I get on with my life. I suggest you try your hardest to do the same.

    He’s coming to you as you are giving him the emotional support that he craves. Perhaps this new girlfriend doesn’t quite have his trust like you do and he feels better opening up to you. But be very careful as you don’t want to give him everything he wants/needs without you getting what you need. My advice is to be honest. That it’s too hard for you to continue the way things are or that it’s not in your best interests and take a break from him. If he does like you, doing this shouldn’t stop his feelings for you. And I have found that being honest sometimes has the opposite effect – that he wants me more. If he doesn’t want to have an honest conversation about any of this, I would be quite suspicious of his motives. Do you think he has been honest in what he has said to you in the past? And for the record I don’t think an honest conversation about your feelings is pushing unless you are giving ultimatums.

  • Hi everyone its me, Aries05 again, Well you know the last time that we spoke I said that i would be leaving my cancerman alone because he already had a girlfriend,well I didn't, last friday was his birthday and I had the pleasure of spending it with him. We went out and had a night on the town and then ended at the Hyatt later on that evening for some breath-taking love-making. I know what I said previously but I just that is a part of what has me tied to him as well. It just felt to me that even if he does have a girlfriend for that night he belonged to me. We actually were together friday and saturday, and had short conversation on Sunday. Oh and by the way a part of our adventure on Saturday included us going by his grandmothers house and spending time with his uncles and cousins. What do you guys think of that. It's just so hard hard leaving him alone when I just feel "TORN".. I don't think I will ever be truly able to let go..........

  • Girls, girls, girls, oh and guy (sorry)!! Sounds like we all have the same problem. I have been putting some of this advice to work......the just don't answer, or take a long time to answer, don't answer the first phone call and such. It seems to be working, but you must have "the patience of a saint". It really sucks to be in love with someone who can't seem to open up with true feelings, and can't get past all those old girlfriends, wives, boyfriends, etc. Like I said before, my relationship with cancer has gone on for 12 years, and we are closer now than ever, but he still will not commit totally, and he won't totally uncommit from his almost ex. He says he does'nt want to push her. And I will certainly not push him, but I can push his buttons. I don't believe in playing games, but why should we be miserable waiting on them. I won't date or sleep with anyone else, but I have lots of friends and see no reason in letting him think I am right where he wants me. He is truer to me if I keep him guessing, and if he thinks I'm not sitting at home waiting on him. He may never be done with her, but he will not be done with me either, and that's obvious. He never really dated anyone prior to her, but has had a few one night stands. No real relationships except for her and me. I love him dearly, and I know he loves me, but this is probably as far as it will ever go. I hope you all the best of luck with your cancer, and I will keep reading. This particular forum has been very helpful. I have gotten a lot of good ideas, and it's a reality check when I think I can't take it anymore. Like I said before, it all comes down to what you can put up with, and they will test the limit every time.

  • PS OBSagi, don't trust him. His apology was probably real to him, and he was sincere when he said it, but that's ALL!! After all he is cancer, and he can't even trust himself.

  • Tawny13 - lol, yes it's either put up and get out I think...not an easy choice. But boy are they fascinating creatures those cancer men. I think I am the luckiest one here, in that it's still in the early stages and I know I'm strong enough to walk away if I have to. There will always be other guys (or girls).

  • Zhyane- I have found that I too have been blocked from my cancer guys facebook....and he won't answer my call....I don't call him much, but still. The other day he went on a trip to another part of my state with his gf and now I cant contact him at all. Yesterday was his b-day, and I sent him a message that simply said "Happy Birthday"....after not talkting to me for a few days...he just says "Thanks ;)" maybe there is hope for you yet. I don't exactly know the characteristics of your sign, but I do know that even if a man is wrong...and you know he is wrong, or even if you were wrong with what the situation him and the first words from your mouth, should be "Im sorry, will you please just listen?? don't have to talk, but please just listen"...and then tell him what you want to if he decides to listen, and if he wants to respond, let him, if he doesn't, he has something to think about, and the ball is in his court. If he says no he won't listen, then you know he is still hurt, and might need a little more time...but keep trying. If you really like or even love this guy, and he is all you think about, then don't give up.

  • Assuming that you truly love this man, of course you don't want to be blindly spewing forth ultimatums, unless you want to end the relationship. Try even harder to understand his issues, if you want this to last. Do something thoughtful for him. Stop expecting him to know how you feel and to change his behavior based on your expectations, as this absoloutely never works. Love expects us to act in accordance with the highest good of all concerned, in line with our higher selves. I understand frustration, but look into your heart and see where the two of you are similar in nature. To quote my fave band, RUSH --"the differences in between leave room for you and I to grow." May be corny, but this is love, not a booty call.

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  • hey all, i have never everrrrrrrrrrr met a cancer man... he is my firstttttttttt and he is making me go crazyyyyy and by being a typical cancer man he is making me more n more attached to him....i am a virgo... i met him like 6 months ago and online... he was in a different country and now he is back here for good.... we met 3 weeks ago for real and it was niceeeeeeeeee..... he was sooooo into me... till now, when we r together he is alwaysssss nice and never want to leave and go home... like if we decide to dinner, we will continue pub hopping and clubbing and do like 5 activities... yet, when we r not together he disappearssssssssss and never calls and never sms... he always disappears for like 2 or 3 days, then i call then we meetttt... first i felt he is back from abroad and busy with family n stuff which i soooo respect... i started reading about cancers.... i knew that it is normal... but still it is hurting meeeeeee.... last time we met... i said i am annoyed by him acting like this... n he replied by he is acting like this coz he needs to take things slowly... i said, but ur giving me wrong msgs then... ur making me feel as if ur pushing me away... he said n u make me feel guilty coz am not msging nor calling... i said i never want u to feel guilty... just is it normal to disappearrrrrrrrrrr.... u make feel ur pushing me away... he said no,... coz if this is the case, i would simply tell u let's be friends... and even i can say i dont want us to be friends... i said ok... fine... i got it.... then now he is again into his shell... he has disappearedddddddd againnnn but this time, am not gonna calll... nor do anything... i am afraid i will lose him... i am going crazyyyyyyyy.... i usually disappear if a guy mistreats me... i dont know why i am falling for him... i dont know why i want himmmmmm.... plz help me... tell how to act... thank u allll

  • Virgo99- Welcome to the life of those who love a Cancer. Call him. Pride is whats making you hurt. If you know he responds to your what 2nd, 3rd, 4th call? why don't you call? what are you trying to prove? who can hold out the longest? he can, He's a Cancer. You state that you disappear when a guy mistreats you, looks like your disappearing on this guy. Now he will know that your mad and you've given up. Only other thing that you can do is stay active, very busy. It is a set pattern that you can't break, that 2 to 3 day no contact thing. Mine still does it and we've been "together" for almost 7 months. They don't see the importance of contact everyday. Frankly, I don't either but, that might just be because I'm a water sign too. Water signs run hot and cold from one day to the next, don't take it personal. It has to do with our sensitivity to the universal vibrations/ currents. This early in your relationship, harder you push, the more likely he will go into his shell and avoid you. Mine used to get mad at me and not respond for days, took me awhile to realize he was actually mad because 3 days was the norm!! I let that behavior go on because I didn't want to lose him. 2 debates ago, I was tired of that mess so, I pushed, I didn't care if I lost him, he wasn't talking to me anyway. I kept texting him all day and he finally texted me back. I like to get it all out in the open and done with. I don't accuse, I just wanted to know what his opinion was and I apologized. and offered to make up for it. He didn't text back the rest of the night, next morning, he text me he drove all night and wanted to see me.( He'd been working 400 miles away) The making up was very intense!! Last debate, he came back with his comment almost right away and a rude racial remark about my opinion being based on my mothers ethnic. I told him to stick it in his cute round hind quarters! and we had heated text for a good while and we learned stuff about each others past. It was a bonding time, we have a lot in common. When I seen him 2days later, he grinned at me a lot. The man trust me with keys to all he owns, I have one of his cars while he's out of town. Yet He won't trust me with his most precious and most fragile thing, his heart. Cancers take a while. yes they are very frustrating if he's all you think about. It sort of a give and take they will go out of their way for you, they will make sure you are taken care of, when they care. Cancers don't really talk about their feelings as much as they show you. They are very moody. A Cancer male friend of mine told me that you could go to bed with him being one way and wake up with a total stranger...Mine is NOT a morning person, he needs at least 2 cups of coffee before conversation. Don't place so much importance on calls or the days, unless it's been more then 3. Text him and call him when you feel like it, he will read the text, even if he's not comfortable texting. And don't harp that "It's been 3days since I first called you and your finally calling me back" Just say hello and start from there!! It does get better the more involved your lives become with each others. Sometimes mine will text me when he should be listening to a speaker or actually working. They will get demanding of your time. They come at you sideways too, like a crab! Practice patience and meditation and take up kickboxing or running or any strenous exercise to combat your frustration and to take up time.

    If your trying to change him then, it's not HIM you want.

  • 2knowmeis2luvme- thank u really for ur detailed reply! i am a very self confident girl and he made me feel so insecure... I have been getting out my stress on my family and friends.. i have even cried for a while and this is not me... the more this is happening the more i want him... it is simply that i didnt know any thing about cancers... n many might think i am silly to believe or relate it to astrology... but it happened that i was checking about cancers and all comments used the same (he gets into his shell and disappear) phrase...

    I like him so much and willing to wait and act... just at the beginning felt weird coz i didnt know all this ur telling me... he is my first cancer on earth.... i dont even have any friends or relatives cancer... i didnt know this species exists :D:D:D

    He wanted time and space... I will give him tome and space... I am not calling this time and will see how easy is it to live without me... according on this time reaction... I will know what he wants and will act... if he will call, i will never let go and understand him and be with him all the way his way... If he is not gonna call... it means it is over... i wont bother anymore... coz i have had enough... i like him sooooo much.... i am not sure he got it yet.... i have been doing alot of stuff to show him how much i care... i have even bought a car and learnt to drive in one month to surprise him and pick him from the aiport.... i dont know what else should i do to have him... he asked for space,,, i respect that...... i dont know what else to say... i miss him.. 😞

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