Tired and confused..Need insight



  • If anyone knows what I'm going through, then please some advice or a love reading for myself:

    Me:7/11/1980

    Over the last year I've been with a capricorn man who broke up with me but, had moved on to someone else almost 2 months later. Now, I've met this taurus man: 5 /15/81 - who's also seeing someone else without my knowledge until I had asked him what was going on between us. To sum it up, he started seeing someone younger while being intimate with me. This has continued for just a week or so until I put a stop to it once I had found out. But, I had later become intimate with him yet again when he told me he was going to stop seeing the other girl. Now he's back to seeing the other girl again! I'm so sick of this pattern. I'm starting to have so many doubts and insecurities about myself. I've broke down so many times over the fact that both these men have left me for someone else. The sad part of this is that I want my taurus man to choose me. I'm a cancer, and from what I know about my sign is that we have a hard time letting go. I'm trying but, can anyone give me some insight into this taurus man or taurus men in general, and give me a love reading please?...



  • This pattern in your love life is really about a subconscious need for someone to provide security or reassure you in some way which is a self-esteem issue. This also ties into your sun sign of cancer as safety and security is a big issue for the Crab. Crabs are also very sensitive- hence, the hard shell to protect themselves. The problem is when we look to someone else to ease our insecurities they can sense it and it and it sends them running. So what can you do right now to shift yourself to a higher vibration? First of all, look forward instead of back! Commit to a new beginning in your life and reclaim your self-esteem. Forget about men right now and do something for you that will build your self-confidence. Something that stirs your creative juices and gets your passion flowing. This will ignite your inner fire which will make you magnetic and attractive to everyone you meet. And when the next romantic opportunity comes along, take your time and connect with your Higher Self more so that you can be more discerning. Keep your heart open - don't retreat into your shell - but resist the temptation to jump into things too quickly. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is be patient and wait for things to unfold naturally rather than responding to a sense of urgency (the need to move quickly is based on insecurity). When we can maintain our composure we are less likely to be emotionally manipulated by others. So keep your heart open, share your light with the world, and stay COOL....men find that irresistible anyway!



  • Thank you, watergirl18...I realized that I haven't given myself any time to myself. I'm just afraid of becoming "stuck." While both these men have moved on, I can't help but think - "why didn't they choose me?" They took away my confidence and I'm left as an empty shell. My compulsive nature wants to know why this taurus man chose someone else and if I can win him back somehow? If anyone can tell me about him and if he'll come back one day - or just give me a reading, it might help me to understand what I should...



  • Well, when I did your reading he did not come through at all -- just the shift that needs to occur within you - so I don't think he is in your future.



  • Ahh, thanks watergirl...I'll try my best though it will be hard...



  • Hi ocean.

    Is it a competitive spirit within you to try and win someone back who has left you?...That you must win...or you are less?

    Dear ocean, you are so much more. You must do as watergirl has advised..and leave the focus on relationships in the back yard for a while , so to speak.

    You have talents and gifts within you...and now is the time to develop those strengths. What are your interests?

    What lights your fire?

    That men seem to leave you for someone else is not an issue regarding your worth. It may be what you feel about yourself that attracts them as seeing you as easy prey....someone to have a good time with until something else catches their eye.

    Read watergirls advice again..until you fully understand what wisdom she has given you.

    When you begin to fill your heart and soul with experiences that bring joy to your heart, you will feed your soul. When you feed your soul...you will find that you don't need a man to make you happy. It is how you live your life that will make you happy. Do you like to dance? Go dancing girlfriend!!!

    I am taking a Zumba class which is more like dancing than exercise, and it makes me feel great about being a woman. I love music, and art, nature. Learning. What do you love? Find out what makes you feel peaceful, joyful, and put your energy there.

    When you become strong within yourself, love and appreciate yourself and your life, and wont take anything less than wonderful in your world.....you will be ready..then it will be time for someone to come into your life. You will be able to understand where they are coming from right off the bat, if they are real.

    You are very lucky to be able to do this now. To live YOUR life.

    Some women get stuck in an unhappy relationship and years , years are wasted....don't do that to yourself.

    Good luck, and GodBless.



  • "Is it a competitive spirit within you to try and win someone back who has left you?...That you must win...or you are less?"

    It is both, patchlove...I realized that the more I try to "win" him back, the more I push him away. I am trying to close the book on this taurus man. I told him how I felt. And it is so hard to be picked over a younger woman...

    I have been on this road before, and I've started running on my weekends, I'll be starting a drawing class this week and I'm going to volunteer at an animal shelter. I'm gonna try to limit all these social medias cause it just resets my recovery. I've also made an appt with a counselor. So, I'm really really trying my best...I love your energy, patchlove. I hope I can get mine back. And I will reread watergirl's and your advice when I feel like I'm derailing. Thank you...



  • We look forward to hearing from you ocean...please let us know how you are doing.

    A drawing class? How cool!

    I found some beautiful charcoal drawings ...done from a student at a local college. They have a home on my wall...I hope I get to meet her some day and tell her how wonderful they are.

    You will get your spirit back...you are taking action...and bravo for you!!!! Because thats what it takes...moving ahead a step forward.

    Sounds like you're taking many steps!

    Again, please stay in touch.

    Love and many blessings to you dear soul.



  • Hi Patchlove,

    I went to my first session of drawing class. It was really good and I hope it helps me to focus more on myself. I'm planning to pickup a guitar, as well, and start taking lessons, too. However, I'm a little shaken up tonight - After many days of feeling depressed and empty, the one day when I thought I can stop thinking about this man, he contacts me out of the blue. It's as if he knew I was trying to move on...I'm going to see my counselor again this Friday - I'm just really confused right now.



  • I have been with my Taurus husband for 22yrs...he picked me, I wasn't even interested in him more than friends...he pursued, and pursued, and pursued so much that I finally gave in and had a date with him...now it is 22yrs later and he is a pain in my ass still!! hehehehe.... DON'T CHASE HIM....be urself, and be secure with urself, he probably loved that about u....but be independant, then he will come back, then u will have 1, and only 1 great night with him WITHOUT SEX, and then keep making plans to do things with others etc....he will want u....and they r really jealous of sharing the ones they love with ANYONE once they have u...so be prepared to push back, don't let the Taurus be a bullmoose in a chinashop...push back, he will respect u for it...I also waited 3months before my husband and I were even intimate, even kissing waited....play reverse psycology with him....Tell him he should see other women, he will wonder why u r saying that....hehehe....they always do the opposite of what u want...I do it to my husband still...he will come home from work and tell me that a lady from work complimented him on his eyes....I sayed really, maybe u could have a office flingy with her???? he gets so angry with me and says NO! I would never do that! Tauruses have good morals though, so telling them to do something against their morals, they get upset with you, don't worry, and don't act like u really cared...I just say afterwards to him; "well, u could...just saying that's all".....lol... Believe me, it would hurt me to see him do such a thing, however I am secure with whom I am to know that I could find someone else aswell...life is tooo short to get angry over things like this, love u first, and don't let anyone take u'r shine away, make them WORK for it first...put them to the test to see if HE is worthy of u'r love, not the other way around....good luck girl! 🙂



  • Greetings YoureTheOcean-

    I would like to build along the similar guidance that watergirl18 aptly offered. I agree that there is a pattern present concerning your love life and that it has to do with an issue of self-esteem and insecurity. When there is a pattern in my life, I stop my actions/behavior and ask an introspective question, “What am I doing or what type of energy am I emitting to attract this particular pattern?” Then I attempt to detach emotionally from the situation and become as analytical and logical as I can in order to hear or see the answer. Once I have received it I write down (so I can utilize some visualization techniques, i.e. asking to gain clarity about the issue/situation in my life as it truly is and asked to be equipped with the tools necessary to attract more of what I want and diminish what I don’t) the answers, the “road map” so to speak that will assist me with a plan of action. Yes, indeed, give yourself a chance to fall in love with YOURSELF and DATE YOURSELF. I know that sounds hokey but not enough women (perhaps men also) do that. In order to know what you want, you should know what you don’t want. It may sound simple but for quite a few people it is not. As time passes (you determine how much because you- your HIGHER SELF- will know), make a list of the things you would like a mate to possess and see if YOU make the list of your requirements. It is a tough thing to ask of someone what you do not possess or cannot give. Am I saying asking to draw nigh a clone? No, not at all because then how will you complement one another? The Yin and Yang will take care of itself providing that you do the aforementioned work initially.

    In terms of the men about which you spoke, you are not the source of their cheating ways or the inability to be honest and without integrity. Don’t allow others to project on you, of course, while you work on doing the same. Each of us have our own lessons to learn and journey to travel. Try to not get caught up with taking on other’s lessons in order to “assist” or “fix” it/them— that is not for us to do. How do you know when you’re doing this very thing? Well, you will feel weighed down (something in the way of “extra baggage”), unhappy, or like the very essence is being drained away from you (BEWARE OF THOSE ENERGY VAMPIRES).

    You sound as though you know a weakness for a Cancer. I have a very dear friend, who passed; (I say “have” because I can still feel his energy around me and he communicates with me in the dream and awakened states) was a Cancer. His heart may as well have been pinned up on a message board with the strips available for tearing off for point of contact. He was in & out of “love” so often and barely gave himself time to detach and ease the yearning to be with someone who couldn’t offer energetic reciprocity that it was difficult to bear witness.

    I totally agree with watergirl18 that patience is a powerful tool of creation of your desires…including the desire to learn the truth. Yes, making decisions while feeling the illusion of a sense of urgency can bring destructive manifestations and that is not keeping it COOL…

    Right on point, watergirl18!!



  • Youretheocean-

    I'm a Taurus. I will give you some insight. I can tell you EXACTLY what turned this Taurus man 'off' from you...and what initially attracted him to you. His initial attraction to you stemmed from his ability to feel safe with you. We crave emotional security. Believe it or not, Tauruses are not trusting people. I'm sure that he knows that your intentions are not malicious.

    What might have turned him off from you? Lack of confidence, weakness, 'doormat' qualities. With Bulls, to reel us in, you will have to grab the Bull by the horns! Lets us know that you're not putting up with our crap! Your mistake? You allowed him to have his cake and eat it too. I bet the other women that the Bulls and Goats pursued didn't put with their mess!

    Although we will attempt to take the lead, we prefer that our S/O possess some sort of backbone. We may not abandon you, but we will not respect you either.



  • Love can be a waterfall

    thunderous in power

    can crush a tender soul easily beneath

    Take shelter in wisdom

    Let love be a joyful gentle pouring of joy

    If it is not gentle

    treating you with care and consideration in the outpouring

    It is not love



  • I'm a stupid, stupid woman...I keep coming back to him and he keeps using me. I never thought I would see myself doing this. The way I'm acting, trying to be with a man who's seeing another girl. This is slowly killing me inside. Never in a million years would I have imagined doing this but, here I am. And I'm completely traumatized. He did it to me again. There is nothing more to say. Only that I truly hate myself and have hit a low point. Never again. I cannot even tell my closest friends - I'm too ashamed of my actions.



  • Don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe you just needed one more go around for the lesson to sink in. We all have weak moments and we all have our Achilles' heels in life. Instead of being angry with yourself be angry at him for a while - it is healthy as long as you don't hold on to it and let it fester. Be angry at him for being an insecure man who needs to be with a younger woman to prove that he is somehow virile or still young himself. Be angry with him for being too weak to be in a relationship with a strong woman - a partner he can actually talk to and share his life with - and instead reaches out to someone he has nothing in common with, but who gives him the illusion that he is wise and powerful. Be angry at him for foolishly letting you go. You were on the right track before - signing up for your classes and charity work. He energetically sensed you pulling away and getting stronger which is probably why he returned. Focus on building your self-esteem back up, look to the future and get clear on what you really want in a relationship. If he returns again, remember how you are feeling right now and tell him to take a long walk off a short pier!



  • Right on Watergirl!!

    Listen to your sisters in spirit here Ocean

    Please

    you are punishing yourself

    over and over

    Stop please...

    and listen to the water. Sit beside her..let her guide you to peaceful reason

    You are loved so much

    By people who dont even know you .......here...you are loved, considered valuable and worthy of being loved and respected.

    You are loved by someone so much greater than all of usas well.

    Who taught you to doubt yourself so? You are a gift..a blessing

    As long as you give room to someone who does not love and appreciate you,

    the one who does... cannot enter your life.



  • Dear Watergirl18, thank you for your words of strength. I'm not sure who I am anymore. Never have I felt so scared and full of doubt. I keep trying to look for answers, to turn back time, to change something so that the present would be different - better. I keep thinking had I done this different or I had I done that, that this younger girl wouldn't be in the picture. But, maybe he's just a jerk. Period. And I would get hurt in the end either way. I've been focusing my anger on the girl and myself but, not at him. I don't know why is that! I hate myself more because I allowed it. I hate myself because I've become so weak. I've never felt so empty and lost. And I keep thinking if only he would give this a chance...I can offer so much more than this other person. But, it's too late. Is he with her because he feels insecure and needs to feel empowered...I wonder if this was the answer I was searching for. I don't know. I want to believe that it has nothing to do with me. Do I keep asking myself why he doesn't want me. Yes. I hope this soon will pass. I went for my orientation for volunteering and I have my drawing class tomorrow after work. I'm working on my portfolio and surrounding myself with good friends. And I'm going to see my counselor tomorrow morning. I can't believe I've just reset my recovery. Now I have to start all over but, at least the blow didn't hurt as much as the last time. Also, I appreciate everyone's advice on this forum. It's given me something to think about...



  • This has absolutely nothing to do with your worth - it's not about you. The only way it is about you is that it has put a mirror up to you to show you how you feel about yourself. Why does the entrance of a younge woman stir up such insecurity in you? Are you struggling with aging or have you always felt this way? People used to revere age as it signified wisdom. What happened??? We are all too obsessed with looks. You know, my skin may have been tauter and things a bit higher when I was young, but I wouldn't go back to that age if someone offered me 10 million dollars! And this young girl - she is a victim in this too, by the way. She probably had an absent or abusive father - daddy issues - that makes her attracted to an older man, subconsciously believing that he will provide the love, safety and security she lacked from her father. Don't waste your time or energy on thinking about her because it's not about her. It never really is about the other woman, but that's where most people go....she "seduced" him or is "evil" in some way and yet, a good portion of the time the other woman doesn't even know that she is the "other" woman. What the "other" woman signifies is that there are issues - cracks in the foundation of the relationship. It always points to something being off or missing in the relationship - that's why a man strays. In your case, I think this guy is just insecure and needs to have that younger person looking to him like his is the wise, all-knowing, and powerful man - the daddy. You deserve so much better!



  • How was art class Ocean???. My hubby picked up his guitar tonight...he is just now playing again...and the sound is so sweet to ears. The guitar is a great idea...it will play the blues you feel wonderfully. That what created the soulful music we know as the blues...heartache and longing for better times....we all visit that place ocean...it will be allright dear..truly it will.

    Love and comfort come to you through angel's wings and friends.

    Come back soon and let us know how you are.



  • Dear Everyone, Although, I had a short meltdown this past weekend, I've since picked myself up. I cannot do this to myself anymore. It's unhealthy and resets my progress. I haven't heard anything from the taurus man nor have I made any contact. I think it's finally over. The art class was really good. But, I've really overworked myself this week - I think it's because I was trying to mentally escape from my problems. Patchlove - I'm really glad to hear that your husband has picked up the guitar. I kind of want to learn how to play, too, because I have an old fender my friend had given to me awhile back. Watergirl - what you wrote makes sense. I'm trying to drill your advice into my head. It's really hard though because I absorb memories and feelings and it's hard for me to let go at times but, I'm going to try my best. Thank you again everyone for all your guidance and love. I'm really really going to push myself to move forward.


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