Scorpio & Virgo...very complicated..I need help
I am a virgo woman seeing a scorpio man and my head is spinning, our relationship is'nt the most straight forward and I could do with some advice from scorpios please. Ok please dont judge...I have known my scorpio for 2 years as a work colleague, I never really liked him that much I always saw him as crude and his sense of humour was sarcastic and cruel, not really someone I would have as a friend. Then I started to get to know him better he started giving me a lift home from work, he was softer, still a bit crude but I thought that he was more misunderstood. We started seeing each other and I really enjoyed his company and I got the feeling he enjoyed mine. OK here goes, dont judge remember. he was married, he told me that he did nt love his wife and that he had just gone along with things for so long that he needed a plan before he would leave her. After having an affair for 6 months he started to ignore me, I started chasing him, I asked him honestly was he still interested in a relationship with me and he said yes, so I asked why he was ignoring me, he said that he had a lot going on, I told him that it sounded like he should be on his own for a while and he agreed that I was right, 2 days later he left his wife, he told me that he loved me and my natural reaction was to brush it off although I had feelings for him too. He quickly said that he did nt mean it and that he was just confused as he has lots of things going through is mind. I know that he has lots of marital decisions going on at the moment but he has cut me off completely, I am now the one doing the running again, I have told him that I have feelings for him and that I want us to be together, he has said that he needs to sort his head out before he can have a relationship again with me, My question is, is this normal for scoprios, I feel as though I am on a rollercoaster, he is such a contradiction, I am very analytical, as he played me or is this common in Scorpios, is there a future here?
PV give him time. Am a Scorpio and I know when we are going through a lot we tend to isolate. Trust me we don't like to be pushed when we are in such a state. Respect that and when he's in a position to talk he will.
This is actually a good match but since he just left his wife definitely he is not going to rush things.
Its common sense if a man leaves his wife he will be lost, confused and wont think seriuosly of a
relationship right away. Who knows they might even
get back together again and you are setting yourself up for a heartache.
So you must give him time & space dont rush him. Be patient. It will irritate him if you rush him and you might loose him that way.
I know exactly how he feels and for the fact that he has been honest with you telling you that he has a great deal going on means that he care. I agree with kk33 give him time. How long isn't something any of us can give you clear answer upon no matter how much we would try to. The best thing is keep him in your mind but pick up on your life. Drop him a message once in awhile ..a hi or hope all is well.
Thanks you for your replies, you dont know how good it is to hear from you, I am a private person and without seeking constant reassurance from my Scorpio ( which I will not do) I have nobody else to advise me, of course I would like to hear that eveything will be fine and that if I give him space he will come back with renewed energy and tell me that he's now ready to pick up where we left off however I am practical and I have been able to take something from all of your messages. For me there is nothing that I would like more than a happy ever after and I would love to know if there is anything I can do to make this happen....
So Scorpios, what qualities would draw you back to someone? what do you look for in someone?
I couldn't help but think of you when I read this article:
Five Things Women Do That Frighten Men Off
Men are like wild horses: they scare easy. There are lots of things women do that can set blokes off at a gallop, but luckily the man-whisperer is here to help. ..............relationship expert Kate Taylor reveals the top five frights you might be giving men, and how to avoid them
Women often say that men are scared of commitment. Newsflash: they’re not. What they’re scared of is commitment too soon, and “too soon” simply means “before he’s thought of it himself”. You can’t be the one leading the way when it comes to anything like spending more time together, becoming exclusive, moving in or getting married. All you can do is set your own personal time-limit and then quietly leave when it’s time to get out.
This starts right from the beginning. When you meet a new man, never make the mistake of letting him feel you have a boyfriend-shaped vacancy in your life that he can just hop straight into. Don’t start calling to say, “Hello” and “Good night” every day, or immediately start inviting him along to all your plans. It’s not flattering to him, he wants to feel he’s having to win you over by his sheer amazingness. Let him feel your life is full and fulfilling already – and if it’s not, slap yourself and go get busy -- and that he has to create a boyfriend vacancy by himself, by thinking of ways to please you.
The first three months of a relationship should be easy and fun, happy and light-hearted. It’s not the time to tell him your thighs are completely different sizes, you’ve always hated your hands and that you can’t get through a day at work without crying. We’re all insecure but your boyfriend is not the place to seek comfort and reassurance in the early stages. To understand this, you have to realise that men and women bond in different ways. Men only tell problems to one another when they’re looking for solutions – we do it as a way to break the ice. If you confess everything you secretly dislike about yourself to a new man, he’ll assume you’re wanting him to “fix” it all, and feel overwhelmed. He’ll start thinking, “Wow – this girl seems to have a lot of stuff going on at the moment. I can’t cope with all this, I have my stuff too.” Instead, act as if you truly like yourself.
3. Be too nice
“Whatever you want!” “I don’t mind which film we watch!” “I’ll have what you’re having!” When a woman really likes a man, she sometimes stops voicing her opinions and begins blending into his world as much as she can, to keep his approval. (This often happens after nookie.) Instead of being the sassy, independent-thinker her man originally fell in love with, the girl begins to turn away from everything she likes, and turn towards his interests instead. She swaps her TV dramas for his sports shows, wears the clothes he likes her in and forgets all her hobbies because HE has become her main hobby. Attractive? So, so not. Turning yourself into his Mini-Me will take all the fun out of the relationship. You’ll lose confidence, stop pursuing your goals and he’ll start distrusting you – if he doesn’t know when you’re unhappy, he won’t know when you’re happy. Keep your spicy edge. If he teases you about watching Come Dine With Reality Tattooed Brides every week, ignore him – and keep watching it. He wants to date an equal.
4. Try to make him jealous
Occasionally, if you feel your man is losing interest in you, you might feel tempted to make him a little bit jealous. Should you give in to this temptation? Very, very cautiously. Truth is, if a man loves you, he will automatically feel you’re pursued by other men all the time. He’ll think you’re so beautiful that you can’t get on a bus without men circling your seat like slavering wolves. So if you bring this to his attention too obviously, he will think, “What’s she really trying to tell me here?” He’ll see it as a game and it’ll irritate him. Imagine how you’d feel if he came home from work saying, “Woah – the new PA just couldn’t keep her eyes off me today!”
Instead, just look your very best and keep your life as happy and busy as possible. Occasionally be busy at weekends. Keep going out with the girls. Keep working-out at the gym. Go away on holiday without him sometimes. Take every opportunity to meet new people. Keep putting yourself in places where he’ll worry you’ll meet someone better than him, and he’ll keep on his best behaviour around you.
Men like a spirited, strong woman, that’s for sure. But they see “strong” in a very specific way. To men, a strong woman is not the girl who shouts at him every time he looks at another woman, lets rip when he comes home late or lectures him on how he’s let her down. A real sign of strength is poise – don’t let him see that he gets to you. He’ll be far more concerned about losing you if you calmly and briefly tell him what’s wrong and say you’ll see him again when he’s fixed it (then leave him alone), than if you yell and threaten and cry but remain right by his side. If you keep reacting emotionally, he’ll see you as out-of-control and weak and he’ll retreat.
At all times, keep your eyes focussed on your goals in life aside from him. Work, work out, see your friends. Do this even when you want to be with him all the time – do it especially when you want to be with him all day. Keep your life moving. Give him space and freedom naturally by being happy in your own skin whether he’s there or not. That’s when you’ll frighten him in the best way – that one day you might disappear – and he’ll work to secure you forever.
PV, Overall I am a private person as you yet with your question you second guess yourself. Why? The qualities that he seeks in a woman...you have otherwise he wouldn't have given you the time of day despite of his situation when you met him. So those same qualities will be the same thing that he will be reaching out to when he is ready to do so. In short...you already have what it takes.
Don't go peeling yourself mentaly at this moment due to the present situation. No need to remain confident in who you are.