Hoping for insight

  • I suffered a loss that left me disconnected and emotionally shut down on a lot of levels - most i wasnt even aware of. In the last year I feel i have begun to "wake" from this state and as a result have felt loverwhelmed both by emotions that were repressed (now come to life) and the realization that i have changed and now find myself in a situation that no longer feels a "fit" in the ways it once did.

    During the process of this i formed an odd / unconventional reationship with someone - something that has me further confused on my feelings. I feel it helped "wake" me, but in another sense keeps me feeling more emotionally lost for direction.

    I feel torn between wanting what was once the best part / factor of my life back - which would mean opening mself to past hurt. or simpply starting again... and i dont know how to go about doing either.

    any insight would be appreciated.

  • JJJ7, we all tend to form odd/unconventional/confusing, relationships when we find ourselves in vulnerable situations or states of mind. It's a common tendency. The reason we do it is because this providies us a certain "escape" from the painful feelings, something else to think about (usually of a romantic nature). However, very often we end up getting hurt much more than we were before, because we don't see those people for what they actually are. Instead we project our own feelings and hopes onto them. Also the inicial hurt doesn't go away until you fully experience the pain and get over it, and get better on your own, without becoming emotionally dependent on someone else for support. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with support, unless it becomes a dependency. That's when you know that the basis for the relationship is wrong and it can cause a real harm. Honestly, my advice would be to see a therapist to help you deal with the situation.

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