Captain, was he a Jekyll and Hyde?



  • I have a strong feel and look how it changed, that he had slit persona?

    His D.O.B 6/05/65



  • No, he just had too many fears and issues about love, sex and money, and couldn't handle the responsibilities of a relationship. His need for variety and adventure was too great.

    You also didn't know him as well as you thought.



  • I often , thought he was going through a mid-life crisis, because the comments and things he wanted to re-do since his college years.

    Did seem to take a lot personally, through conversation, with texting, if you call that communication, e.g when i wanted to have a blood test done he esured me he was fine, and at first he took it ok understand me wanting to worry about my health, then when got all clear, he said if i1d believed, him it would have saved so much anguish I wanted variety heh.

    He's a workaholic damn no adventure there, it was his obsession with sexual things that was his concern, and like i said reliving something.



  • He saw his work as an adventure.



  • I hadn't thought of it like that, well he does have a son and ex-wife to keep to.

    So where would the been master or dominant come in, also playing , if he is been ill or dying come in?



  • have learnt a lot.

    One he did not loose complete contact from his daughter since the divorce, only when he went to Australia for eighteen months, not for five years he told me.

    He is not the dutiful father figure to his young son as he made out, he only bothers see him on occasions, not every weekend, not for whole weekend he does see him.

    I feel as he said to his ex he didn't want him, as he didn't want the responsibility any more( there like ten yr gap between kids) Its not the child's fault.

    Wife kicked him out after the mental abuse, when son was two.. he hardly pays for him. Yet he made that so she was bad person and he the good dad.

    His current wife he only married last year, and i know he been looking on websites for **** since 2009.

    She is big yet he said to me dont get fat, and to his ex he hates fat women, but i think the latter has him in control in some way.

    When i talk to the ex, she done litterer everything even cut fat of his meat.. i though hang on any type of man would never respect you if you act like a doormat. Although to her they had great ****, it was not a marriage of convenience as he told me, then he told her his new marriage was on of convenience.

    He told her a year ago he had bowel cancer but not dying.. he told me he was.

    He very secretive to her about where he work and that, yet i know i know it all. that because he under estimated me, and he dont want pay the c,s,a

    This is why i always had gut feel he Jekyll and Hyde.

    His father is a lot of negative influence here too, no excuse as he a grown man.

    This i dont think is total star sign related just a emotionally damage man??



  • No split personality here, just a liar and manipulator.



  • Im glad i know Captain,

    This been a lesson on mostly trust your gut, when something doesn't feel right its there for a reason.

    Thanks.

    So how you know if someone has a split personality then?



  • Well, being a trained psychologist would help. But I would say someone would have to be behaving with a completely different personsonality to their usual one and unable to remember anything from being that personality. Blackouts and memory loss are common with split personas.



  • Are you a trained psychologist?.. Like Dr Jekyll and Hyde.. to differ enter ties in same body..

    State the obvious would not be able or think of saying halve truths..

    If the Façade they put on is not one of false it is in with a norm to them separation face?



  • Hi Scully,

    Have dealt with a Jekyll and Hyde situation before.

    But then perhaps the thing we never really know is how much of the untruths come as a result of an illness, and when its part of the person's personality (which in turn is influenced by their circumstanes, upbringing, experiences).

    The feeling is that if a person had an illness, it would in some way mitigate his actions. But the question is that if you take away the illness, would the person still act the same way? I do believe there is no clear cut answer to this. You can't really know where the illness stops and the real person begins, or whether the illness facilitates the decisions and motivations and actions. Because the 'real' person and the illness are the same - in a manner of speaking.

    Prob doesn't really answer your question tho. But here's the thing. At the end of the day, the end result is the same, it still hurts if you're on the receiving end of untruthful behavior - no matter if a person is just a manipulator, or if he really has a split personality. And it becomes about what you can do to take care of yourself, rather than their actions.

    Hope all is well with you. That was my 2 cents 🙂



  • Hi Danceur,

    I only just noticed you posted, through look at my topics.

    I always have a real gut feel he has this split side, because of the façade he put on.. yes part me agree with captain, but i feel there's more to it.

    I know his ex wife, say she tried to understand him for yrs as to why he is the way he is.

    It's like he puts a front on that's not him, but then he will do say stuff that seem real him.. is it manipulative or the ideal his father has put on him, like been torn been old fashioned chavistic or just fears out of what a real relationship should be.

    I am looking after me.. this will seriously take me time to really get through, and one day it take some-one special to turn my head.

    Thanks for that Scully.



  • Hi Scully,

    Sometimes people get so good at putting on fronts - it becomes almost an instinctual reaction. Very hard to say if that is manipulation or not.

    You could be right. I too had a gut feeling something was off and unfortunately, I was proven right. Some people are high functioning - they can be charming, hold proper jobs, be in positions of responsibility, and then at home or around their loved ones or when triggered by certain situations, it's a different story.

    Glad you're taking care of you, and I hear you - it will take time to get through this. But you will :)And that's my hope for me too! LOL... was briefly with another guy - was wonderful and I've fallen in love but he has stopped being in touch. Not exacty same kind of Jekyll and Hyde but very inconsistent behavior. I don't know what happened, just so many questions...

    Some days I'm very heartbroken. But other days, I'm happy - God's grace I think. I wish that for you too, Scully.