Should I continue pursuing my former Taurus professor?



  • I am very attracted to my former professor who is married. His birth date is April 23, 1944 and born in Boise, Idaho, and mines is April 16, 1985 born in Los Angeles, California at 2:53am.

    He has asked me out for coffee towards the end of the semester, and we ended up having lunch instead. I asked him out to dinner via email, and he agreed to after I graduated. Instead of dinner, he ended up inviting me to his home for a chat, but it wasn't anything sleazy because his father, who lives with him, was there. His wife however, was still in another country on vacation. While at his home, he asked if I wanted to go to a art gallery for a new exhibit, and I agreed.

    We only contact each other through email, and I am always the one to initiate it first. He replies usually within a day or two, but we don't continually keep in touch. I email him once a week and he will reply and that will be that. I find excuses to see him, trying to join his organizations and asking for a letter of recommendation... anything to get closer to him. The furthest we have gone was just a hug.. and it was initiated by me. Boy, that was one heck of a hug he gave though, gave me shivers!

    I have a Pisces moon which makes me quite intuitive, but I feel as if he really likes me as well, but is afraid of losing his security (wife, family, finances, career, image, respect). When I first saw him, I was immediately intrigued and that never happens with someone of his age. I have to admit I liked him the first day I saw him and wanted to know more about him. Out of everyone I have ever met, I feel as if I could read his thoughts the most. He reminds me of myself, but male and much older. We have had very similar experiences growing up, and almost the same personality except he is a bit more toned down than myself. I just have this gut feeling that he is my soul mate, but then I have this other feeling where I am being played and he may have several other students on the side he is manipulating. I'm just not really sure.

    I have always stayed away from married men and would never pursue them, but something tells me that we were meant to be, and I never say that about anyone in such a short amount of time. I even dumped my boyfriend of 5 years to pursue him.

    Our conversations are always about family, friends, traditions, goals, education, and the future. He always asks me about my future career goals, just about every time I see him. I just recently graduated and am in search of a career, but he always makes it an effort to ask about my goals even though I give him the same answer every time. I'm not sure why he would bother so much if he was just in it for a fling, it seems as if he either wants to keep a possible rich friend around or perhaps thinking about leaving his wife once I had a career established. How does he really feel about me? Should I continue pursuing him or will he stay married to his wife?



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  • Dearest APA,

    oh boy, can I relate to you! I was in your shoes, and well...I somewhat still am! I spent over three years in love with my former math teacher (and I'm not gonna lie...there's still a part of me that will always love him. I haven't seen/talked to him in months and that feeling is still there!)

    I also, like you, asked for advice on this tarot board not too long ago. Maybe you can look at the postings I started....I covered it up saying that he was a guy at work though who had a girlfriend. (he really does have a girlfriend)

    and after people commented and voiced their opinions, they helped me realize that he only viewed me as something he could use to get attention from. Sure, he would flirt with me, and all those things, but what I didn't realize was that he was using my feelings for him to his advantage. He already HAD a girlfriend...I was just someone to keep him occupied while he was at school, and to shower him with attention that he apparently so desperately wanted.

    and although he never abused his authority over me, I could tell that he enjoyed the fact that he was able to get a younger woman like myself to fall in love with him. And now looking back, I realize how stupid I was to even let myself fall for him!

    and so....I am going to visit my former school in a few short weeks, and I worry that when I see his face again all those feelings will come rushing back, and I will go through the same process of forgetting him. however, I know that I won't allow myself to fall again.

    I know this is not something you want to hear, but...he's married. and just like my former teacher and his girlfriend...I thought I could break them up. And I couldn't. I didn't want to break that bond (whatever bond they have). I don't want you making the same mistakes I did. Just keep him as a friend. Trust me, that will mean so much more as the years pass by.

    hes sending you subtle hints....sure, he may be sexually attracted to you (heck, what man wouldn't to a young chick!) but he's not going to cheat on his wife. I'm sure you wouldn't want the guy your in love with cheating...that would make the character you portrayed him to be as fake. Keep him in your mind as a faithful and kind man.

    Good luck to you. I wish you all the best...and always remember that there have been SO many people who have gone down this same road...and I'm telling you it's better just to keep a friendship than try and push for something more.

    Love, DaniBo



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  • Dearest APA,

    I totally get where your coming from! My former teacher did all the exact same things that your former professor is exhibiting. Those looks made me melt inside...(I'm sure you experienced the same feeling!)

    and I felt the same way: I felt that it was MY duty to advance, because, he was in a positions here it would be nearly impossible. However, I'm glad you understand his position. I also was willing to be his "other woman" because I loved him so much, but it would torture me...and that wasn't worth it.

    It's hard...it really is. People judge, and make comments, but....they don't truly understand until they are in our shoes. I still wonder what's going to happen when I visit my old school in October.

    I also got some answers from tarot about how he was feeling about me...and it helped me out a lot. I only hope that someone will give you the same insight that I was given. (In my case, he was attracted to me, liked me a lot, but didn't want a serious relationship from me...from what I was told)

    Those looks say a million words, and yet, its hard to tell if they are sincere.

    Wishing you the absolute best,

    DaniBo.



  • APA,

    One of the things you will need to be cognizant of as you are maturing is that your Moon being in Pisces is a double-edged sword. Yes, Pisces can be about psychic ability, but it is mostly about dreams and fantasies and when operating in its shadow those dreams and fantasies are illusions or dillusions. Since this is where your moon is you may have a tendency - where your emotions and feelings are concerned - to live in fantasy rather than reality. The thing with this teacher of yours is very much about the relationship with your father as well as where you are on your life path right now. With regard to life path - having graduated from school and being faced with what's next or even "what am I or should I being doing with my life?" can be a scary place to be. A time when we might want the gentle, warm, loving and protective nature of our fathers to help guide us. Which brings me to the father figure in this man. You speak of how being "close" to him sets off something in you. Take a step back and notice that he is not only old enough to be your father - he is old enough to be your grandfather - and you do not and have never experienced that "closeness" with your father. As a teacher and a man about to retire, he finds fulfillment in inspiring youth to achieve their goals - to set out in the world and start blazing their path to their future. This not only brings a sense of fulfillment and personal satisfaction from the point of view of his vocation in life, but also allows him to vicariously live through you - to experience the joy of youth! His age makes him marvel at and appreciate your youth - your beauty, your innocence, the fact that you have your entire life ahead of you. You may be confusing this type of look from him as romantic, but I assure you it is not. He is approaching the sunset of his life and you just have the sun rising up over the horizon in your life. Now that Moon in Pisces coupled with your father-attraction with him may have made you take simple, innocent things and turn then into something much more. Sometimes, a warm and generous hug is just that - nothing more. But because you were feeling this strong attraction to him you wanted it to mean something more. Same thing with the brushing of shoulders or slight touch of hands. They really may not have meant anything but your Pisces Moon turned them into fuel for your fantasy. This man may be part of your soul family, but is not here as a romantic interest for you. He is here to help you with your father issues as well as to be a bit of a surrogate father at the moment as you are on the precipice of a big change in your life and need a benevolent and nurturing influence right now. So look to him as just that - a surrogate father type or just a wise mentor - and ask for his wisdom and guidance with regard to your future. Our society tends to not value our elders, but they are such a wealth of wisdom for us. They have already been through all the things we are struggling with or are about to set forth in and can help us navigate our way with much more grace if we are open to listening to their advice.

    With regard to your father, I can only give you a synopsis of my experience and hope that it will help you in some way. My father was also not "present" at all in my life - his presence was only felt as the anti-Father 🙂 Rather than warm love, nurturing, protection, security, basically anything benevolent that we think of when someone says the word "father", he was the opposite. His presence was only felt when I had done something wrong. So my experience of "father" was of being told I was not good enough - that there was something inherently wrong with me that made me unloveable - and that I was in the way and not wanted. I spent many many years being angry with him. My entire teen years, 20's and even my 30's. I unleashed my anger on him at all family get togethers. I held nothing back. The relationship was very contentious. Until I got to the point where I was all angered out so to speak and I realized that the anger was having a detrimental affect on ME. At that empty space of having released all my anger, but nothing had replaced it yet, I began to look at him (both my parents really) as a human being and not just a parent. I realized that they had both had difficult lives and we all have our issues and tragedies to overcome in life and we do the best we can. This was the 2nd stage of my forgiveness (the anger was the 1st). After a while, I was actually able to not just see them as people, but to appreciate things about their personalities which opened the door for us to speak more with each other and even enjoy each other's company more. I knew I had reached a new phase when I started to do nice little things for them that were purely motivated - no ulterior motive or forcing myself to do it. I actually started to feel affection for them. And now I am at the final stage of not just forgiving their actions, seeing them as people, and loving them in spite of our differences, but being able to express my APPRECIATION for what they did RIGHT for me. I spent a lot of time focusing on what they did wrong, but they did do a lot for me. However, this is a new/recent revelation and I am still struggling with actually being able to verbalize this to them - especially my father. So for me it has been a long process and it may be that it needs to be that way - or not. It may also be up to you how long it takes. So my suggestion is to first get in touch with your feelings. Think about your childhood and how you really feel about your father's presence or lack thereof. Allow yourself to be angry as it is a necessary part of the process. At some point - maybe soon maybe a while from now - you will need to initiate contact with your father to begin the process of healing with him. Believe me - this is something that needs to be healed in his life as well.

    Hope this helps,

    WG



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