Should I continue pursuing my former professor?

  • I am very attracted to my former professor who is married. His birth date is April 23, 1944 and born in Boise, Idaho, and mines is April 16, 1985 born in Los Angeles, California at 2:53am.

    He has asked me out for coffee towards the end of the semester, and we ended up having lunch instead. I asked him out to dinner via email, and he agreed to after I graduated. Instead of dinner, he ended up inviting me to his home for a chat, but it wasn't anything sleazy because his father, who lives with him, was there. His wife however, was still in another country on vacation and he came back home early to work on his new courses for the upcoming semester. While at his home, he asked if I wanted to go to a art gallery for a new exhibit, and I agreed.

    We only contact each other through email, and I am always the one to initiate it first. He replies usually within a day or two, but we don't continually keep in touch. I email him once a week and he will reply and that will be that. I find excuses to see him, trying to join his organizations and asking for a letter of recommendation... anything to get closer to him. The furthest we have gone was just a hug.. and it was initiated by me. Boy, that was one heck of a hug he gave though, gave me shivers!

    I have a Pisces moon which makes me quite intuitive, but I feel as if he really likes me as well, but is afraid of losing his security (wife, family, finances, career, image, respect). When I first saw him, I was immediately intrigued and that never happens with someone of his age. I have to admit I liked him the first day I saw him and wanted to know more about him. Out of everyone I have ever met, I feel as if I could read his thoughts the most. He reminds me of myself, but male and much older. We have had very similar experiences growing up, and almost the same personality except he is a bit more toned down than myself. I just have this gut feeling that he is my soul mate, but then I have this other feeling where I am being played and he may have several other students on the side he is manipulating. I'm just not really sure.

    I have always stayed away from married men and would never pursue them, but something tells me that we were meant to be, and I never say that about anyone in such a short amount of time. I even dumped my boyfriend of 5 years to pursue him. Should I continue pursuing him or will he stay married to his wife?

  • Also, on a personal note ,I think the onus of taking any ethical responsibility is on the more pwerful person in the relationship:teacher in a teacher-student interaction,doctor in a doctor-patient encounter. But still, knowing that part of the attraction comes from the power dynamics here,you too have to accept responsibility for your choices.

  • No mate, let it be, he is already nearly 70 and not likely to leave the security of the life he has made for himself to have a fling with a young lady. Enjoy the contact and the friendship but leave it there. And that too is not a psychic reflection it is simple common sense.


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