Karmic Lessons & Relationship Ruts

  • Hello everyone.

    I come today to ask for guidance on how to best identify and deal with the patterns of getting overeager or in my own way when trying to get close to others. I run into situations where I invest more, and trust more (than the other individual involved) in my close relationships and it's very frustrating. Because of this pattern I've begun to believe that there is some type of karmic lesson I'm failing to learn when in these painful, failing relationships. Although I know that this karma is unique to me and only I can explore and learn from the lessons being taught to me, I would appreciate any guidance towards rectifying? or gaining wisdom? from the lesson. Although I've identified the issues, it has been quite hard for me to go deeper to identify the causes or warning signs of the issue. The causes are what I really want to get to. I appreciate all help.

  • Electrum, you are a square peg in a round hole - but because square pegs are few and far between, you choose to hang around with the round holes instead of searching for the rarer pegs. Just because you get lonely. But then when you hang around with incompatible people, those who just don't 'get' you. you end up feeling even more lonely. You crave recognition and acceptance and may go to great lenghts to get other people's attention, but unless you release the insecurities that come with being different (it's really about having more originality and talent than those around you), you tend to try and be accepted into the mainstream, rather than concentrating on seeking the respect and honour of those whose opinions are of real value. You may have some trouble controlling the aggression that comes from sheer frustration but you must develop the patience to hold back and wait for 'your kind' of folk to come along.

    And they will - once you stop trying to fit into the mainstream and instead accept that not everyone is going to understand or accept you. There are plenty of drummers out there marching to a different beat like you but up til now you haven't been focusing on them, trying to fit in instead with the general masses of whom you are not a member. But that ain't gonna happen, so accept that you are pleasantly unique and original and send out a call to the Universe to send you your 'different' kind of companions.

    You can be so torn in two directions when it comes to relationships - on one hand, you are so trusting and hopeful, then on the other you can become all cynical and negative about committed relationships. You may fear being cheated on or engulfed by another person, but once you start to make good choices and accept people without thinking you have to fix them, all will go well in love and life for you.

  • Captain,

    You have confirmed one of my greatest fears. Although I've been aware of my divisive differences, I have believed that there was something (wrong) with me that made me unable to fit in. I believed my square-ness was just a deformity of sorts, a result of unfavorable childhood conditions.

    Thank you for this insight, I needed a wake up call. I have begun prayers for different companions and I still have much inner work to do when dealing with the insecurities bred from feeling different, thus broken. Thank you again.

  • You're very welcome! 🙂

  • Captain

    I am new and love this site. I am always looking for ways to better myself.. I feel I make the same mistakes over and over again.

    I feel very let down by people. I jump in head first. I love everyone right away and will do anything to make you happy. It makes me happy to please others.

    I do feel a lot of love from others. People are drawn to me. With new friends or acquaintances I welcome them into my life so fast .. a lot of times I am betrayed .why do I jump into everything so quickly? Why do I get so hurt by them when I do not get treated the way I would treat them?

    How do I stop this continuing pattern of mine?

    I am a good person.. sometimes I think I try to hard to please everyone.

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