Virgo man new to Aries woman-need some guidance please
Ive been on a dating website for 3 months now and I make it a priority to choose girls also according to their signs. Cancer/scorpio/capricorn/taurus/ and sometimes virgo are the ones I make the priority. Aries is the first on my list of ones not to and bam an Aries girl.
this Aries kept clicking on my profile, and I on hers. I sent her a message and she called later in the evening. Here's the thing. shes a blond, and I never dated a blond. they are not attracted to me and I not to them, so Im surprised. the blond thing attracts me to her. is that a weird thing? shes a very pretty girl. 46yo, me 40, but she intimidates me. first shes taller than I would like. she's 5'8" and me 6'1" but I feel small when im next to her. Im a bodybuilder (210lbs her 150lbs)and that shouldnt make me feel small next to her but I do. But I guess its the Virgo self esteem issue working here.
other things: she seems a bit like a woman/girl and when I came to hug her she's smiling/sweating/embarrassed like a little girl. we havent gone out very long..only a week. but I am the very touchy feely kind who loves to show affection and im not getting it back even though I KNOW shes attracted to me. when she first saw me she couldnt help but have a big smile and I could see it. she was practically eye ******* me. she also wanted to stand me up but I convinced her to come. thats another story.
I send her sms's daily and I only got one from her. I know she wants us to "happen" but usually girls I dated always send sms back all the time and I get feedback on the physical level... this one..nothing. it seems like I have to think about what I can talk to her about and even how to touch her. I mostly listen when we talk..meh. we dont even talk about us but more about her day and things she has to do. I dont want a girl/friend, I want a GF and one that is touchy feely like me. I just dont feel the sexual tension a new couple has when its new. Give it time I guess...but I only have so much patience. For me, I can love my partner more than she loves me, but I need feedback. a girl who will just take my affection and wont give me feedback is not good for me.
Im not talking about sex as I prefer the flirting/teasing/kinky and erotic touches much more so than the intercourse part. but damn theres a huge list of girls I could turn to in my inbox on the dating site (it's always good to be modest:) ) I want to commit but Im not feeling it back.
things that scares me from reading about the Aries woman.
-needs to dominate
not good for me- I dont like woman who want to dominate/control or mold me to what they want-especially my bodybuilding lifestyle as I eat 7 meals a day and most dont understand my world-she has no issue with my BB though. she obviously likes the way I look-it doesnt come from eating burgers and fries all day
-needs to be number 1 and thinks of herself
by our convos Im catching a preview of things to come..not certain on this)
- gets mad quickly
I need a quiet consistent life-I dont like drama/action/hooha/partying-I cant handle fights about stupid things- I simply walk away. I have no patience for that- I caught a glimpse of that yesterday. we were in an under car parking and she asked this guy who couldnt give a rats A** about answering her and she was persistent. I could see the situation when it just started and I was telling her youre talking to the wall..he doesnt care so leave it. but no she was pissed. and she kinda snapped at me..not good for me.
-in bed they are beasts.
I like slow and well, slow. I dont want to finish the race so quickly. we may have an issue here. well see.
Hello not all us Arians like that.. thanks
Why are you still bothering.. yes we can like to be in charge bedroom, i agree. but some will give and take, don't you think a little variety isn't healthy?
Petty fights are juvenile, so i get that,
you like take time in bed that's good sometimes.. but a bit of right here and now is good too.. its passion.
Im going by what I read..I really dont know Aries at all. sorry if I offended. Im certain that not everyone is the same.
In bed, slow is better for me unless I want a quicky and thats only for self satisfaction. HAHA
I am an Aries and my ex boyfriend (who I've been friends with for 17 years is a Virgo). The issues we had was that I didn't want to commit and that bothered him. Also, the fact that I showed jealousy. I really liked it when he spoke about his feelings and made me feel special. The sex was filled with passion and we took things very slow....nerves I guess. Be very open with her and tell her what you want as far as a relationship goes.
I got off the phone with her this second and we were talking about her day and what she did. but I need someone I can talk to about everything, not only "so how was your day" it just doesnt do it for me. she said she had a hard day and she had tons of things to do. So I teased her and said now imagine me giving you a nice back or foot massage and she laughs..WTF!? laughs..instead of saying "oh that sounds great" or something like that.
Its like shes looking for a companion but not a partner/lover. Im very loyal in terms of relationships. I never mess with other woman once I im with someone, but with her Im not feeling it and I dont think its going to hold. I'll give it till friday. if not saturday its off.
I went in my profile on the dating website because she constantly goes in to check if im window shopping. she did it a few days ago and yesterday. if there is an issue of trust it wont work. I had messages and many who looked at my profile but im not shopping and messing with any of them till I know where we stand. I had that trust issue with my ex wife. she constantly thought I was cheating because of the way I look. When I was shooting weddings at night she cheated on me. so if shes going to be constantly suspecting that im cheating, im walking away.
I ask her if were going out on friday and I cant get straight answers from her. she should want to see me but it seems her thinking is the here and now, and I like to look ahead. well see is what I get. its almost like shes the guy and im the girl. shes a pretty girl and I want to make it work, but from what I can tell she's been with guys who she had trust issues with. she seems to have this glass wall in front of her so she doesnt get hurt. but if you dont give the person a chance to prove himself (and youre constantly eyeing their actions) then you'll never find someone who'll stay.
I can understand her not wanting to get hurt as I am the same way. My Virgo and I broke up 2 months ago and last Friday really talked things out. I told him my leg was sore from my 4.0 mile run and working out and he asked if I wanted him to rub it for me. I was really surprised and not sure if he was serious so I laughed and told him he was funny. I think she might just be feeling you out right now to see if you are truly sincere about her. A lot of Aries woman do have trust issues.Another thing is we like challenges. I guarantee if you tell her you are no longer interested than she will be chasing after you.
Rocketman, check out the thread "Heart of a virgo man". Just go to the end and ask your ?. Many Aries on that thread, they can assist you and would love to hear from a virgo man.
yea, many people tread lightly because they dont want to get hurt. I can understand.
I'll give it till Friday night and see how receptive she is. maybe i'll ignore her a little and see what happens. But I dont like that approach. its not me. Too much guilt. well we'll see what happens. I'm willing to give it a chance but I dont have patience for things to build up slowly. Again, sex is not what im talking about. For me the teasing touching erotic play is much more satisfying for me. Im even hesitant to talk to her about anything sexual. maybe she'll laugh in my face again. I dont want to feel like im going out with a little girl. I want a woman whos past that giggling stage. shes 46, not 16. nothing kills it faster for me when a woman cant be serious when we get intimate. I can imagine her laughing while we make love. oh no..no no. Im putting my gigo's on and im out the door. but well see. i'll update you guys tomorrow.
Thanks for the info. I'll go check it out.
ABB, Rocketman might get a shock of his life from that thread.
Im reading that thread. why do u say that VP?
Because most of the posts there are not exactly flattering towards Virgo men.
If I were you I wouldn't play emotional games with your Aries woman. Most probably she really likes you, that's why she giggles like a schoolgirl. Genuine liking often translates as shyness, you know. People of any age can be shy, it's not a fault. If that irritates you, just be frank and tell her how you feel and what you expect from the girl friend. Most likely she has not a clue that her giggling pisses you off. Don't confuse her. If you don't like her - just be honest and tell her that she'll not your type. Don't create one more miserable person. Aries feel deeply, you know. They are not shallow flirts, overall.
Yes, Aries do appreciate honesty and actions backing up the words. A lot of problems we have with Virgo men (no offence) is they tell us the sweet nothings and then we don't hear from them for awhile or they get moody on us. If you do get the Aries woman..be sure your actions reflect your words.
Aries women are a pain. No amount of good words can change my mind about aries women.
They only think of themselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should have said I dont have experiences with Aries but what I have seen several of my friends go thru with ARIES WOMEN. Both men & women.
I cant understand this woman, and im losing interest fast. Today I went to her work to pick up a temp phone she got from her cell co while they repair hers. I went to go do the exchange and bring her back her repaired phone. I like to help where I can. she was at work and would not be able to get there so I did it. I came back, she took a short break to buy a notepad for school for her daughter. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and massaged her neck and shes blushing and NOT reciprocating!!! it's pissing me off. uh uh. this is not going to work. wth, I thought aries are fiery creatures who like contact.
We kissed the last time we got together and I wanted a quick kiss today. it was next to the store where she works, but no one could see. she kept saying im making her blush and again no feedback. I just asked for a quick kiss. nothing. every woman Ive been with always reciprocates when I touch them. this one is cold blooded.
Tomorrow we'll probably go to a movie and if I dont see any improvement in the relationship Im killing it on saturday. But once I kill it it's over. I'm not the kind that puts pressure, but geez woman it seems like she's looking for a friend and I want a GF. Of course I want her to be my best friend and its ok if she wants to go slow, but touching and holding hands or a kiss isnt much. Im not talking about intercourse or getting intimate but what the hell are we in high school? shes 46..and shes acting like a teenager. I hate asking for stupid things like that. why dont you hug me back!? cmon. I did that dance eons ago.
Im pissed. no sms's from her (Ive stopped sending her any from yesterday) no touching, she's all giggly and shy. tomorrow will probably be the last time we meet. I will go back to my compatible 5 signs. I dont care to bed her, I want the touchy feely thing. I want to feel emotions. Im looking for something deep, not a schoolgirl.
I also saw a little of the Aries in her today as well ( a previous wedding photog of 9 years, I see things others dont). she walks with confidence like she knows she's number 1 and when she came to pay for the school notebook she cut in front of 2 people in line and convinced the cashier to let her pay before those in line. I said wuuuuut! no way...I turned and walked away I was so embarrassed. that was without tact. I didnt want anything to do with that. thats not my style.
I guess im just waiting to kill it on saturday.
Hmmm, I am thinking you both could learn something from each other and probably why you are attracted. Tell her what you are thinking, she cannot guess. No one is a mind reader. Tell her you thought it was rude that she cut in front of people. Aries are very open to others if you are honest and forthcoming. We all have our faults, it is how we work together that counts. You too have faults. It appears if you do not get the response you want you will cut her out of your life with no explanation. How mature is that?
Rocketman, it's one of 2 things - either she doesn't feel sexual towards you, or she comes from a very religeous/conservative background and doesn't feel comfortable being sexual/erotic straight ahead. If she is blushing, it's probably the second. If I were you, I'd talk to her directly first, try to find out, and if you need to break up, please explain her why exactly you are doing it. Don't leave her wondering, be a gentleman. By the way, not all Aries are tactless, and lots of other signs can be just as pushy and tactless, including Virgos (my ex boy friend, for example). Actually he often was emotionally agressive with me, and it took me quite a long time to gather strength to start fighting back, and I am an Aries !
She said "did you see how fast I paid and got out?" and I said yes, because you practically ran over the other 2 who were in line before you..and she laughed .I did tell her that I saw what she did in a humorous way. Not to scold her. she noticed I wasnt too fond of it and she tried to explain herself but she was laughing. I know I have faults. Oh hell Im quite aware. my 2 strongest defects is that I dont have patience for stupid people and I have no patience to say something more than 2 times. after the 2nd time I simply dont talk. Not good I know, But Im working on it. If others are around then I simply ask them to step in and explain so the person doesnt get insulted/offended. it takes time.
Tomorrow I want to have a long conversation with her and try to make her see what im looking for and get more from her side so I know how she sees things.
it may be the 2nd, but she's not religious, but maybe conservative..but I dont know. I want to ask her if shes physically attracted to me. I think she does like me because if she let me meet her 10 YO daughter after the 2nd time and we spent time all afternoon together then I think thats good. a single mother doesnt want her younger kids to see guys come in and out of their lives. its not good for the kids.
she lets me caress her hair and I rub the back of her head with my hand, but she's gets embarrassed and is shy when I want to hug or kiss. why shy for a 46YO?
Of course I would tell her why I would want to break up with her. Im not completely 100% attracted to her but the fact that shes a blond does it for me. but no hand holding is not acceptable for me. I just hate having to teach my partner what I like and what she should do which are basic things. should I really be saying to her "hold my hand" ?
I would explain that it seems that we are looking for different things and I envision a relationship with my partner this way. but I would explain in detail, not just the one line and walk away. I am a complete gentleman. I believe in chivalry. I think anybody can be tactless. I dont think Arians are the only ones but after reading my own comment I can understand why you said that.
In what way was he emotionally aggressive? can you give me an example..?
Great to get info from Arians. cheers.