Updates please!! did it work out or not with your cancer man

  • I have read some of the cancer threads. I have not been through all of them yet.I would like to know since my relationship with a cancer is still very confusing with his disappearing here and there.I would like an update on your relationship .. is it still going strong? Is it the same craziness? Or is it done?

  • Yes it is....

  • Its still going strong? Im glad for you. I haven't handled things well and told him I can't take his silence and disappearing so I am done. I hope to learn a lot on on here from everyones posts. Thank you

  • capgirl - Here is the deal with me. I was married for 20 plus years to a man I should have never married, yet I did. We had 3 incredible kids, yet, we were not a good fit.

    So, with my cancer, it is just the right time, the right place, the right age, enough with living wrong. It is different for everyone.

    Many people on here know that certain, if not all relationships, have a time, place and purpose.

    Not all relationships are forever.

    Not all relationships are bad.

    They are, uniquely their own.

    To bring to us, joy, pleasure, teaching. Whatever they are supposed to bring. Fullfillment for the time being, etc.

    Event though I have a great relationship with a cancer man, it does not equal forever. That is up to us and how we cope and deal with our relationship dynamics.

    Sometimes, you just have to be prepared to enjoy the ride of life and understand that it offers no guarantees.

    Hope that helps! 😄

  • Thank you for saying that. We have a lot in common because I have been married for 17 years to someone I shouldn't have married and have 2 kids..

    my cancer man has come into my life now when I am sperated from my husband. My cancer man and I have not talked since hs.

    Yes I do believe timing is everything too. That's why when we got in touch with each other recently after 20 years I knew it was for a reason..

    I feel like I fell in love with him after only 6 mo. Because those feelings were kept since hs.

    I just don't know how to handle his silence. We are long distance right now. I can't see him yet to talk about things..

    When he retreats for a week from me I think all kinds if crazy things.. then I tell him im done I can't do this and I don't deserve this.

    We do say we love each other a lot. But I upset him at times without even realizing it and the he retreats..

    How should I handle that?

    Your help would be greatly appreciated :))

  • Sweetie, just be patient and calm. From what I know about cancers, they need calmness more than they need the very air the breathe.

    Calm = serenity which = peace for them

    They can be their own worst enemy. Actually, they are their own worst enemy.

    And, since we are in a similar situation, probably close tot he same age...do you not feel the need to have a calm, grown up relationship?

    I know I did. But, I also realized that that needed to stem from me, more than him. I firml;y believe in you reap what you sow. And this go around, I wanted to sow something meaningful and real.

    This one, is all for me, which translates to the best for both of us.

  • You are right. They do need calm. From everything I have been through with him. He responds best to that.. I just have to do this..

    They do seem to be there own worst enemy.. you do seem to know a cancer man..

    Yes we are close in age and yes I do of course want a calm grown up relationship .. as im sure he does..

    thank you so much you have helped me a lot 🙂

  • You are very welcome.

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