A long time ago I didn't used to follow astrology, let alone know much about it, and I think my ignorance contributed to my string of heartbreak.
I'm a Taurus, and my first relationship was with an Aquarius female, who neglected me completely for 5 months (and most likely cheated, too). My second relationship was with a Leo female, who also neglected me due to being "too busy" and then dumped me because I went all out on Valentine's Day. My next relationship, my first boyfriend, was with a Libra, who took my virginity (and his) and then dumped me less than a week later pretty much blaming me for us having sex and saying he was still in love with his ex. After that, my second boyfriend, also a Libra, cheated on me once and emotionally abused me for a little over 3 years before I broke it off.
That was my first time ever dumping someone.
Anyhow, after immersing myself in astrology and astrological compatibility, I decided I shouldn't date someone unless (in addition to mutual attraction and interest) we were astrologically compatible. More specifically, I told myself that I would (try) not to date any more fire or air signs, only earth or water signs.
I know that to some people, judging someone by their birth date can be, well, judgemental, but I think I have good reason to be this way. From my standpoint, air signs tend to be fickle, transparent, unable to fully commit (maybe due to lack of sincerity and/or certainty), and like to wander more than I can tolerate. I haven't had much experience with fire signs from a romantic standpoint, but from what I have experienced, a fling would be more beneficial for us than a committment.
For the first time, I'm now in a relationship with an earth sign, a fellow Taurus. I've had my run-ins with other Taurus males, and they didn't meet all my requirements or the timing wasn't right, but this one definitely has my heart. I compared our charts (as I do with all potential suitors hehe), and our planets match up nicely (my Venus is in Taurus, his is in Pisces).
I don't know how long this will last, but hopefully as long as possible because, I must say, it's more than refreshing to be dating someone who is actually on the same wavelength as me. I don't have anything personal against air or fire signs as people, but romantically for me it takes too much compromise to make it work. I know love involves compromise, but I don't think I should have to give up an arm and a leg at the start of a relationship. I want to date someone who I don't feel I need to change, or who wants to change me. My Taurus boyfriend, like me, is straightforward, honest, practical, has a great sense of humor (I can easily make him crack up), loves movies and nature, is well-read and articulate about everything, and is very sensual/touchy-feely and sexual. I love it!
I think it's a good rule of thumb that earth is most compatible with earth and water, and fire and air are most compatible with each other. Does anyone else seem to notice this, or follow this? Am I wrong?
I agree. I'm an air sign, and I've noticed that romantically, I always feel most at home with other air signs. I think air is better suited to air and then to water second. I've always had trouble with earth signs. Talk about being in a totally separate realm! Good luck to you:)
I must agree there EarthGoddess22, especially about the compromise thing. I feel that sometimes when two people do love each and are astrologically compatible then things ought to work out for them but sometimes I wonder if this is really just a dream or can it actually work. Well my dream guy has to be kind and caring, down to earth, funny but not a smart-ass, intelligent but not put you down if your not, sensible but willing to take risks, also someone who eats healthy, doesnt smoke ciggs or pot or do drugs of any kind nor drink alcohol, someone easy going but not a push over, someone who sticks to his own values and morals no matter what, someone who is there no matter what, someone who is inventive and creative who likes to think about different things, someone who does his own thing and enjoys life and living and likes to push and test the limits and someone who likes adventure and sometimes adrenalin rushes, someone who is out there giving life its all but still willing to help others be their best. Thats it for now though there is more I just dont want to think of anything more. So I have worked it out myself and had it verified to me that if i want someone like that I must be like that myself. Like attracts like. So if that is the case I have alot of work to do with myself for this man of my dreams to be here. Yes I tend to get along with earth and water more than the air and fire though I had been with an air for a long and it didnt work out, maybe that was why it didnt? Me suspects this is so, I had to compromise alot to be with him and in the process lost myself and I am now starting to find myself again and its a rather difficult place to in but its good as well because for the first time in my life i can do what i want and make the mistakes I need to so I can be a better person.
"I want to date someone who I don't feel I need to change, or who wants to change me." I think this phrase is more important for the successful relationship than any astrological stuff. It seems to me that you might have a history of being on emotional "rescue mission", rather than being in two ways relationship. Maybe this has something to do with your childhood history, for instance parents/ first caretakers neglecting you or each other, resulting in you developing low self esteem and consequently picking up partners who in some way remind you of that first bond . You didn't have power to change that bond as a helpless child, but as a grown up you might feel compelled to find the similar kind of situation and fix it. Just a theory. Anyway, I'm very glad that you've found a compatible partner, who you don't need to change, whatever his sign is.
@Violeta74: Thank you, and same to you.
@crazycap: I have confidence that you will find your dream partner, and whoever it will be will be very lucky! From your description, I think you want someone with a bit of every element in their chart; a bit of fire for adventure/energy, and a bit of air for creativity and inventiveness. I definitely understand you when it comes to a long-term relationship with an air sign and in the process losing yourself, because I had no idea who I was when I was with my ex, and I don't think he did either.
@VoplySoply: Thank you. And you are correct, only it was reversed; these people dated me because they felt bad for me (at the time I was still very shy, almost friendless, and socially inexperienced).
I must thank you for saying this as I seem to be attracting ppl who seem to need 'help' yet always end up hurting me by being mean when I dont give them what they want. Made me think to stop this from happening.
I agree! When it comes to compatibility I normally think of it in terms of elements rather than signs. As a fire sign I can definitely feel the effect other signs have on me. Whenever I'm around an earth sign I feel like I get MORE talkative and obnoxious, like I'm burning them up, and around water signs I feel a bit more muted. I've always been enticed by libras and geminis.. though they're tricky creatures and have never treated me well. (Aquarius is my opposite, so they're just out of the picture for me. They're like leos but with more practicality and less fire and passion). And other fire signs, we either come together and light each others fire so to speak or just hate each other.
However, with this theory I feel there are a few exceptions. Aries and Scorpio- anyone ever seen a relationship between these two? Of the scorpios i know, their greatest loves have been aries. I once asked an aries and scorpio about this to which they said "scorpios have all this intense energy they dont' know what to do with until an aries comes along and pushes them to get things done, and the aries is so energetic and go go go that it can get too much to bare sometimes, and the scorpio helps them calm down."
Also, Leo and Cancers. I LOVE me some cancers. I think there's a few reasons why as a Leo I've found myself so compatible- Leo is the sun, Cancer is the moon. They are the night to my day. Opposites attract. Also, being right next to each other on the astrology wheel gives us a lot of the same emotions about things, a lot of the same morals, our sensitivity, our view on other people. Also, I read this in the Sextrology book, cancers love to give love and leos love to be loved. Most things I read speak of "there's never enough love in the world for a leo. most people can't live up to the leo's expectations on love'. I think a Cancer can.
So I agree that you can be with a compatible element, once you're there it just FEELS right, you feel at peace. But just because someone isn't the right element doesn't mean they won't surprise you.
So I am a water sign (pisces) with a water ascendant (scorpio) Air moon (Gemini) and an earth Venus (Capricorn)...
I've supposedly been matched with certain signs based on my sun sign, and many of the assumptions for Pisces don't work for me! If I start dating somebody, I'm attracted to the idea of hard workers with respectable values... People who know how to be responsible without pushing some sort of limit... but aren't so rigid that they can't have fun.
Scorpios are supposed to be my match, which I'm sure some can be with right planets at play, but so far they've been too heavy for me... My Gemini moon keeps me occupied and independent and somewhat of a fun-seeker.. so people with too many expectations get disappointed when my schedule is too full for them. Then I get impatient with people who don't understand me even when I explain myself...
ANYWHO- I'll get to the point. I could wright a novel about all the thoughts I have about dating.. Don't think you'd like to read it, though!
Attraction, responsibility, reliability, progression and room for me to be myself are key parts of some elemental compatibility I'm looking for... ideas?
AngelaVictoria, according to our theory of elemental compatibility water (and you're water water) is good with earth... have you ever dated a Taurus? They have a lot of the characteristics you mentioned. Also, perhaps if you found a Gemini with an earth or water moon you'd be set. The gemini men I know are seriously hard working about their passions, but they're also very playful. Since you're moon is in gemini you'd already have an understanding of them and some things in common. But I think if you had a Gemini sun with an air or fire moon they'd be a little too unreliable and all over the place for you. That's not to say that every one of them would be like that. But that's just my theories.
Thank you, Laleonazul!
I haven't dated a Taurus... I've had a couple casual "relationships" with Capricorns, though. I've noticed they don't have so much patience, but they seem to be the responsible types I look for.
In regards to Geminis, I definitely do get along with them! They're usually pretty fun.. Haven't dated a Gemini yet partly because I don't know that they'll have the commitment part down... Which would account for the preference for earth or possibly water moon signs.
I appreciate your insight
Oh I just found out some of the planets in a guy friend's chart... Capricorn sun, Leo moon, Taurus rising, and a Saggitarius venus... So there's some kind of Taurus there!
Ah yes, I forgot to mention that venus signs are about as important in terms of romantic compatibility as sun signs. Be sure to pay attention to those.
I figured that much It's all so interesting how truely it relates to relating...