Sag female hurts cancer male



  • Well I was with this cancer for 14 months, and we got really close.. We were friends before for about 3 years. We broke up but we still saw each other but then he moved on, so i thought it was time for me to move on also, but he always told me that i am his no matter what, and he said i will always love you. Well I moved on with another guy also, but we still talked and everything, and then he found out and he got really upset, so we talked about it and he told me that i broke his heart, and i was the only one to ever have his heart, but recently after this we talked and my friends where telling me we talk like were still together, and everything.. I asked him if he still loved me and he told me I don't know, and i asked him if we could ever be together again, and he said I don't know.. He says he still wants to see me, and everything just not now.. but 90% of the time he brings up that i had sex with another guy and everything.. So can some please try to explain to me what he is feeling and what it means??



  • I don't really see or have all the details here so I can't say much. However, I will bump this thread to the top. Someone else will be able to tell you what you need to know, I'm sure.



  • xoibabycakes, I can share my experience (and inferences from them) and hope that helps you. I am a Sag and my husband is a Cancer and I can relate to what you have said. Cancers hold onto their loves tenaciously even if outwardly they may appear to have moved on.

    My husband and I broke up although we were still living under the same roof. I decided to visit a place and he knew I might be meeting an ex and things might develop. I had told him I need to focus on my life even at the risk of our marriage. He said he might not be there when I came back and I said I had to risk it because if I didn't I and we would rot away into nothingness, we were at that stage. I left for the trip. As it happened, I met up with another old friend with whom I had shared an attraction we both had kept under the surface because I was committed. We got together. Later I realised, and a very painful time it was, that I really needed to go back to my marriage because I was actually running away from my own self. I needed to own up to a lot of things so I did. I broke up with this guy and told my husband I wanted to come back. I also confessed to him about this guy and it shattered him. At that time I failed to understand why he was taking it so hard. He knew we weren't together. He knew I'd be meeting another ex and I was open to a relationship with him. I had told him categorically that I did not want to work on our marriage and was ready to risk whatever was left of it before it destroyed me completely. But he took it really really bad. I understand now that he was waiting for a sign from me to show him he meant a lot to me (which he does) even as he was saying something else on the surface. My getting together with his friend hurt him because in his heart and mind he felt if he was important to me I'd leave everything and be true to him even if we had broken up. That's how Cancers are. Do or die and demanding of 100% love and commitment. (I do not blame him for it, I see that now so try and give as much as I can.)

    We are Sags, and for us these things do not rule our lives even though we are greatly sensitive and emotional people. The contradiction is the hugely different gap of the Cancer's home-n-hearth nature and our 'the world is my oyster' nature. Your Cancer moved on by all means but his heart was with you. And he expected that from you too hence when you moved on it hurt him because he understood that if he was really important to you, you wouldn't have moved on. But it doesn't really happen that way, does it? Only in story books maybe...

    He is unable to tell you if he loves you because he is extremely scared of opening up and hurting once again. It's not your fault really, it's just that beneath that hard shell Cancer's are at once extremely soft and vulnerable but very exacting. Your friend's say you two act like you are still together, may mean that he sees you haven't moved on and yet were that guy which he might be seeing as infidelity. Guess, more than trying to understand him guess you really need to ask yourself what do you want from now on?

    Hope this helped in some way. Regards.


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