Should I stay or should I go?
Iv been searching for so long to see if anyone could give me some helpful information. I'm currently a student and do not have the extra cash for a psychic reading so I have come here in hopes of help.
I have had some extremely bad luck in relationships, everything from abuse to just not being treated right . I want love more than anything but I am very confused with what I have right now. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with an old friend of 3 years , his DOB being November 25th 1984, And my DOB being March 7 1991. Things were okay for a while but he treats me like crap and I give him so many chances to make things better. Lately I have felt myself being attracted to his friend Who's DOB is December 3 1984, we don't talk really because of jealousy issues with my boyfriend , But I guess my question really is should I stay with my boyfriend I have now and see if things work? Or take the leap and pursue his friend ? I would very much like to know if pursuing his friend would be a good or bad choice.
Thank you all- Shannon
watergirl18 last edited by
Hi Shannon -
The answer is you should go. You have reached a turning point in life that all women face at your age - growing from the youthful ideals of romantic love to emotional maturity. Shedding the fantasy of the knight in shining armor riding in to save you for the knowledge that you have all you need inside of you already - you are complete, whole, and loved regardless of whether or not there is a man next to you to validate it. In order for the process to begin you must first let go instead of holding on to something you know is not right for you out of fear of the unknown or fear of being alone. You know your current relationship is not a healthy situation for you so pluck up your courage and walk away from this one. However, this friend of his is not a good idea right now either. First of all, because he is friends with the man you need to break up with and this man will not react well to the two of you getting together. Secondly, because this other man is just another distraction that will keep you from facing the real issue here that you must confront so you can heal and move on to something better in life. You need to take some time to be alone - to have the capacity to be alone and be confident and filled with self-love. This requires getting to know yourself and becoming your own person - learning to treat yourself with love - so that you will be able to attract a man that will be good for you and treat you the way you want to be and should be treated. Jumping into another relationship will do just the opposite as right now you are only attracting the men who will not treat you well. This is a necessary time for you to shed the past - whatever limiting beliefs you have about yourself and not being good enough or worthy of being loved. As you give yourself time to go through this process, you will become stronger and emerge as an empowered woman who knows her worth and will simply not accept anything less. The girl who is content to play second fiddle, who feels inferior or unimportant and lacks self-respect, will be GONE and the young man who will love and RESPECT you will appear.
Thank you so much for taking the time for me , I really appreciate it and plan on taking the steps to move forward .
Again, Thank you
leave him and take the gamble.. do what our hearts says.. just take it easy to start, as there friends may cause ripples. ok
And you happen this way again, may I add a word ort wo?
If anyone.....ANYONE treats you with less than the respect that you deserve as a loved child of God, don't give them another moment to do it again.
Because they will.
Love and respect yourself not to accept less. You are a beautiful creation. Believe it and expect the best.
Love and joy is yours if you pursue them. Waste no time in negative energy space, and continue towards what you know you want in life, and in a mate.
Look for the qualities that will be a joy to live with.
End this relationship first, letting your boyfriend know that you needed to experience what you had to learn with him, thanking him for the time he did give you, but that you need to move on because you have things to learn on your own.
This way he may not hold anger and vengeance in his heart- for those things can be very dangerous.
Let us know how things go. Be safe, and God Bless you with happiness.
Another thought is that if you would happen to pursue the friend, then this gives your boyfriend validation and ability to tell all those around you that you were the problem, and not him. Maybe in another lifetime, you and the friend could have made a go at it, but look for someone who treats you like the friend does. Mental abuse has a way of eating at your ego until there is nothing left, but to pursue men who may treat you bad. I've been there many times, but I didn't know better. Look around at how your friends treat you and those who give you good vibes, that is what you most deserve in life. A key point for me getting better is a lot of self help sites to find out what my boundaries were (what I will and won't tolerate from people) and respecting myself for not letting someone treat me anything less than what I would treat them.
You don't need a reason or to find that definite reason to tell the boyfriend it's over, remember that. You can just say, "ya know... this isn't working out." and end it. Sure, he will come back with lots of hugs, praises and sucking up but be strong and do not fall for it. This is where I've gone back so many times, only to have every promise broken again and again. Ya want to believe people are just like you, but if they were there wouldn't be a reason for them to say "I'm sorry and I won't do it again."
I wish you well and you deserve to be happy, feel free and beautiful and don't settle for anything less
Watergirl did you make those cards yourself? They are beautiful.
watergirl18 last edited by
Oh Heavens no! I don't have an artistic bone in my body They are the Gaia Oracle cards by Toni Carmine Salerno