Big problem with my Cancer house mate...really need some advice



  • Hi, I'm new to the forum so it's lovely to meet you all.

    OK...this is kinda a long story, so please bare with me.

    I have been living with my Cancer house mate for about 1 1/2 years and we have always got on well. However in may this year we started getting on really well, hanging out a lot watching films together and we would laugh and talk all the time and basically it really felt like he was letting me into his world. He would even not go and meet his friends and so he could stay in with me.

    Then on 29th of June he invited me out for his birthday, which I thought was odd cause we never really went out together....when I said yeah I'd go he look so happy that I had agreed to come. Anyway we had a fair few drinks and were very merry by the time we got home.

    We were in the kitchen and I was telling him that his friend had tried to kiss me and we were laughing about it....then he hugged, which he doesn't do very often at all, then out of no where he tells me I smell nice and he kissed me, then we had this moment when stopped and looked at each other then we kissed again. He leads me over to the sofa were we continue kissing, then suddenly he stopped and said that it was a really bad idea and I agreed (we live together and it would be so complicated) and went to bed (on my own).

    Well the next day we were both feeling a bit worse for wear and chilling on the sofa and I caught him looking at me, and I mean really starring. Since then it has kinda felt like he has been avoiding me particularly when he's drunk and it feels like he's being really distant with me, we can spend an hour in the same room and not say anything. However I have caught him looking at me a few times and he always looks either hurt or cross.

    The worse part is I didn't realize how much I liked him until that kiss, but I have been so badly hurt in the past and I'm very shy about letting people know how I feel about them that I may have been acting a bit coldly towards him as well and because of the way he's been acting I have done everything I can to avoid showing him that I'm interested.

    I do have the feeling that he's not always the one to make the first move....I was talking to a friend of his earlier this year and he was telling about seeing him talking to this girl and commented that he has never really seen him being that forward with a girl before.

    So is he just shy? is he just not interested? Is he angry that I haven't mentioned it?

    Any advice about how cancers guys work in situations like this would be great.

    Thank you 🙂

    PS I'm a Gemini



  • Why don't you just sit down and talk this through? Be honest with each other. It's not nice to share a home where there is tension and unease. It seems like neither of you wants to make the first move, but someone has to clear the air.



  • I have wanted to a million times and if i didn't live with him then I would have done ages, I just really worried about bringing it up and it makes everything even worse, especially as i don't know how he feels and in true cancer form he is very difficult to read.

    I'm just really scared of geting hurt again.



  • Well, the 'elephant in the room' is not going to go away by itself...he's just going to pile up more and more poo until someone gets sick of it and moves out.



  • PS A Cancer's home and peace and stability there is everything to him. If he loses it, he will find somewhere else to live.


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