Prisoner of My Mind - Request Read Plz Thanks- MyJourney, BLMoon, MedicMom etc

  • hello ladies and gents

    ive of late been a prisoner of my mind. Trying to make sense of the whole charlie incident. what am i to him, what was i to him, did he plan anything, can it still happen, am i a loser, had i now know what i know now about him, would i have had a chance of allmy dreams, pregnancy baby etc?

    new love who what when looks origin language?

    job directions? lost so lost

    help thanx


  • Wow..... that's a chaos I thought only existed in my mind. lol... I'd say you have a leg up on most people when you know you are a prisoner of your own mind. Sometimes the hardest thing in life is to let go and admit that we dont have control over anything but our own actions. As a recovering control freak, I feel I can speak bluntly on the subject. First: stop thinking about what could have been. There are too many possibilities and it is impossible to know which possibility would have happened under what circumstances. As for trying to figure out what he had in mind or was going to do or're sol there as well. There is no way to know definitively what goes on in someone elses head unless they tell you and even then, you never know if they are telling you the entire story.

    I have come to learn lately that until we focus ourselves and fix the wounds in our life first, there is no conceivable way to give or receive the love we are truely worth. It means patients (something i personally have none of ) and hard work. It is trying at times and can be horribly frustrating when all you want is that one perfect person that completes you, but if you cant love yourself enough to be content without someone else, you will never find it. Our significant relationships dont complete us, they help us grow and enhance what is already there.

    Stop focusing on feeling lost as it can be entirely too overwhelming. Take a deep breath and find a goal that will enhance your situation. Look around you and find all your resources, then formulate a plan to reach your goal. Once you reach that, raise the bar and set another , and another until you become the best possible person you can be and feel complete within yourself.

    Best of Luck!!


  • Pisoner? one hand holds the key and you are right to be aware. When it comes to the total shattering of a "city we have built" it is the scariest place to be. It is best understood as being addicted and now cut off cold turkey! Painful! You may even get night sweats it is so in every cell. There is no easy way--just walk through it and be brave as this is about pain---that life in your head was a distraction from pain and now it's come "DUE". Anyone who has traveled towards empowerment and healing has passed the same painfull place--the hardest part of healing. Letting go of all the pacifiers and facing our own pain and emptiness. It's that Divine process the Budhists talk about--the beginning begins with nothing. You must look at you--who are you, really? who were you born? In it's untouched state--who is the soul you call you--before parents and circumstance called earth. Now you put the pieces of YOU back together and toss all other inauthentic pieces aside. What was real? What is you? Be kind to yourself--this phase begs you to leave out the ego and all judgement--get out of the past and future--each day spend your energy focus on gluing you together---again--spirit REPEATS your inner child holds that KEY. BLESSINGS!

    Dear Saint Michael--lend this child frozen in womanhood your wisdom and your mighty sword to cut through to her safe place. Remind her she has courage beyound her belief and she can do this. Whisper in her ear at night a plan that will take her through this painful time with a promise of wholeness and healing on the otherside. Give her the strength to keep walking away from the distractions that do not serve her anymore--what once protected her from getting "too close" is no longer needed. She is broken open and ready to recieve! Help her put the pieces of her perfect inner child back together---the spirit she was before shattered into distortion by earthly influence. Dear Michael and all those faithful spirits who guide and protect---hear this prayer and bring her home--to be her SELF! THANK YOU--AMEN. BLESSINGS!

  • Just popping in quickly,

    Awe Charmed one, you are no LOSER, take that stick and give yourself a WHACK! 🙂

    Charlie loved the way you opened his heart to love,true love! He knew he couldn't give you what you wanted..and I know you realized this in the past several months. Charlie, finally realized he couldn't give you what you deserved,though i don't want this to come out to hurt you, but the age difference finally made him realize this.:( when you love someone CW you love with everything you are, and when you hurt or when someone takes your love and lets it go it takes more time than most to heal, my thoughts are coming quickly so i apologize f this may not make sense..but i feel Charlie's sorrow, because he should have put the breaks on sooner! Cappy grieve the relationship and nurture yourself so you can be free to open the doors for New love that will follow.Give yourself permission to cry, its OK.

    I will come back in a week or so..i'm just on a mini break. i have been taking time to get familiar with my tarot cards.

    take good care of yourself sweetie

    love and light



    aka shatzie

  • Seanachai thank you for your words and concern. Also thank you for boosting my mood even a smidge.

    BLMoon thank you so much my friend. As i read the second half i healed a bit.

    MyJourney, my lovely lady, your words are tangible. It shows i didnt make it up, building a mirage. it was something. Now i can go and say thank you for all you have given me, friends alone. It also tells me i ought not be mad at him. I guess maybe if i had been closer to where he was in 2003 the picture would be different.

    Funny how humans when they hit 70 go now i am old, too old to do this to do that. Is like , now i can await to die. ................................ so odd.ah well

    i hope you can deepen this when u get bacl MyJourney. This is about, and no offense, the most tangible insight to this ive long had. It makes so much sense.

    now i think i´ll mayb order some comfort food, or maybe not dunno we´ll see 😉

    love n air all


  • Hugs CWB to you, no sane words of wisdom from me, I am going to put the computer down right now and send you some healing energy, it is all I can do for you.


  • Done. Your chakras were okay, well apart from your heart one which was hiding like it was afraid to come out and play. That inner child needs some sweet words and hugs, you should go to it and give those things in a meditation. While I was dusting off your powerful third eye chakra I was aware that there are unresolved issues in your past, be it in this one or another, which have to be balanced out, dealt with. I think it is in your past in this life and I see it in your eyes too on your facebook photo. Go there and walk through it again and cry away the pain and then you can let it go. Actually I am not even sure if you are aware of this. You should ask your angels when you are meditating to take you back to the spot in your past which is blocking you now from moving forward. And when you are there you can change the outcome. They say it works, those in the know who do that sort of karma balancing. I started a post on this forum but there were not many takers. Still it seems to work.

    Okay enough bulling, I do at least hope you felt a bit of the energy I sent to you just now, the rest is up to you to chuck in the bin or use.

    Hugs to you dear friend,


  • Thank so much Paddi kisskiss

  • Amen to what Blmoon said

    dear Charmed

    sending you lots of love and prayers.You are strong and you are very loved by the people here,as you can see,and by all those whom you have helped here.

    Take care of yourself precious

    Love and Light

  • I now in my moving on wonder about a lot of things, such as why did he marry her? Why did he choose her, when his later actions showed he was misery, n if misery why does he stay init?

    I guess i also wanna know is Charlie happy. If he is i can move on n accept his

    so if any can reply thanx


  • CWB you are NOT a loser!!!! We all have traveled this road that its the same and yet different for all of us. Who knows why people do the things they do? My journey is very wise. You helped someone with the most precious gift there is "learning to love" now its time for you to let go and keep yourself open for your true love. and when the time comes you will look back with sweet memories and give thanks for the lessons learned.

    Now I have to get ready to go see my son if they will let me in - he is havings some major crisises that he has bottled up for a long time

    love and bleassing to you CWB

  • Thank you so much Sahdowmist, much blessings to u too.

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