PisceanHealer - You give me patience!
Hi all - I'm a 7/7/76 Cancer born 6am, he's a 2/20/70 Pisces born 6:30 am. A couple of you may remember me from a couple months back. My story will start at the very bottom down there and scroll up for history. As of my last post, I've met with my friend a couple times, once for a day trip for photos, and another one for a quick dinner. During these times, we got a TON of bottled up thoughts, feelings and emotions out in the open. Marc, every possible question I had about his previous behavior was answered, and everything I thought he was doing during our time "apart" was true. He apologized profusely for shutting down, told me that he can't believe how emotionally attached he is to me - told me of future wishes he has, etc. If anything, we became closer than ever before. Shortly after this little "reunion", he went on vacation with his son and again, has slowly started to pull away. I am not pinning my hopes on him one bit, but after this silence in June and following reunion, I believe he's more scared than ever of his feelings vs. his demons/current situation. I know that he still is struggling with his wife, and still has just as much on his plate as before. Nothing physical has still never happened - There is a definite attraction, but we don't want to go there and we have a hard enough time trying to understand this connection we have when both of our current situations aren't ideal for any sort of romance to develop.
After our last meeting, he swore to me that he'd never disappear again. Yet he is. Is it better for me to speak to him only when I am spoken to, or to let him know I am still here with the casual emails and voice mails we were sharing? It's so confusing! For anyone new to reading this, trust me, he's not intentionally playing games with me, or using me. There is no gain in that for him and I do trust him inherently. The friends of mine that have met him feel the same way. This is a truly odd situation but he is not a "typical" man - I've known enough crazy men in my time to tell the difference. Any thoughts, feelings, or insight are greatly appreciated!
(Previous posts below)
Good Morning, July 7th Cancer here (if you don't remember!
I just wanted to update you both on my "Sticky with Pisces" thread a few weeks back. Over the 4th of July weekend, I received another "Checking In" email from my Pisces. (aside of the one I received earlier that week) That was the ice breaker it took for us to start chatting again, little by little. While every fiber of my being wanted to ask him serious, deep, rapid fire questions, I've avoided them all together. I know he's missed me, and I know he was thrilled that I was receptive to his contact. We've kept our conversations light hearted and sweet. I know he's got some major battles he's fighting right now, and I want him to see me as the haven and safe place he saw me as before. Can I just tell you how utterly at peace I felt after that weekend of communicating with him? It was like a part of me had returned home. Since then, he's called me several times, called me on my birthday, we still E-communicate every day. We've even set up tenative plans to go out for coffee next weekend. Marc, you were right about giving him time! I was worried about him forgetting about us, and the whole time he was stewing and just thinking about me!
Marc, my question to you is, while I feel some sort of future connection with him, what should I be doing now to encourage and strengthen the bond we have? We are SO compatible, we are both very emotional, but where I want to talk about it all RIGHT NOW, he's still processing. Like I said, he is still shaky, stressed, and fighting battles.
Hi all! I am a female Cancer that needs some help! I am close friends with a Pisces man. We both have a lot going on in our lives right now, he is going through a divorce, and I have family sickness and career stress. We found ourselves highly compatible, we have a ton in common and we talk(ed) for hours on end. I've never pushed for any other sort of relationship from him, number one, because he's not divorced yet, number two, because I have a lot going on myself right now. But I do, in my heart, feel like we were "meant to meet". It's like he's been "missing" from my life. He feels the same way, because we've talked about it. I know he's facing a ton of stress. He USED to talk and talk to me about things. Recently, he's REALLY clammed up, telling me he has to resolve some issues with himself and he's really focusing on straightening his life out. We don't see each other often, but use chat, Facebook and email, and occasional phone calls to keep in touch. That has virtually stopped. I don't want to push him at all, I've been giving him his space, and I've told him I'll always be here for him, but what I want to know is, "have I lost my friend?" It's been about a week with no communication. And about a month with spotty communication. I miss him dearly and want to help if I can. I am so afraid he's just walked away from this friendship and will forget all our fun times and conversations. Any advice on this Pisces? Thank you so much!
I've been married to a Cancer for over a decade now. I'm a Pisces. We've had some serious ups and downs. You say he is going threw a divorce? Pisces have a hard time letting go. My advice... Be his friend. If he feels he can lean on you threw any storm and you show understanding, he will come back. He may be backing off because he is trying to figure things out for himself and he needs no distractions to feel that any decision he comes to will be the right one. He's just scared. Show him there is nothing to be scared of.
Thank you so much. I am always his friend. He tells me that in all his life, he has never felt as "safe" with anyone but me. He trusts me inherently and he knows I'd never do him wrong - however, he's never been overly expressive with what's on his mind - he retreats and ponders things on his own and every once in awhile will come to me with thoughts and questions. It's just difficult to see someone I care about so much keep pulling away and then jumping right back next to me. But if I care about him as much as I say I do, then I DO need to stand by him. Thanks.
In his mind he might be saving you from drama he doesn't feel you deserve. My Cancer makes the same complaints about me. He gives me time to think things over because he knows that when I've made my decisions, or I need help, I'll come to him. ,I myself am so blunt that I have to have that space before I open my mouth. Your Pisces may be the same way. A Pisces loves different people in different ways. If it's really bothering you then ask him to clarify where you stand. It's our first instinct to give the people we love what they need. If he doesn't know what you expect from him he may be standoffish until he gets an idea. If he asks you a lot of questions about your life than he wants you in it. One trait I've seen amongst the Pisces I know, ( which is no small amount), is that we want to know EVERYTHING about the people we love. Even the bad stuff.
I'm sure he might be trying to keep me separate from the drama that is happening in his life, just as I have with my drama. During the times we've been really close, we lean on each other to be a neutral party through the rough times. He goes through periods where he can't seem to get enough of me - my life, my family, question after question, and then at times he clams up - still "there", but silent. Being a Cancer, it's my nature to want to nuture and try to get him to lay it all out on the table - but I know he won't until he's ready, and then it's a flood of emotion and pent up questions and feelings. I don't expect much from him now, I can't. Our methods of communication aren't the best - text, and the occasional phone call for the most part - Or voice memos on our phones, where one of us records a quick voice message and emails it to the other. We have to be this way for now until things are done on his end - hence the importance of a friendship only and no physical relationship, because that will make the emotional ties that much stronger for both of us and it's not right right now. Because our relationship has evolved a bit since we first met, I understand the need for space for him, so I give it, but I know that he sees that also as me pulling away, even though I've told him I'm not. So even if I don't hear from him for a day, I still send him a smiley here and there so he knows I'm still here for him. I don't want to push him away. There's something too strong about the connection we have. We both still can't figure out "Why now?" Thanks again for your thoughts!
Hello again -
Well, he's completely gone again. Back to NO communication at all. This last 2 months have been wonderful, and we bonded and talked more than ever before, and really deepened our emotions toward each other. When I felt him pulling away again, I GENTLY asked why, if there was anything I could do, etc. He replied that he is having "a hard time managing our relationship, and that he needs to withdraw to re-evaluate it." Let me tell you, our situations aren't perfect, but I can't handle this all consuming, almost constant communication, full of emotion and sincerity....and then he completely ignores me. It breaks my heart because then I really doubt if it was real to begin with. My heart tells me he deeply cares about me but has so much on his plate that he's shutting down. With me, when I have that much on my mind/heart it helps to have someone there. He's completely not talking or responding to me. I've stepped back completely now for about a week, after telling him that I will always be here for him. Again, my biggest fear is that he will never return. The connection that we BOTH feel is so strong - but why then does he keep disappearing? I am trying to be so understanding and supportive, while not being pushy or intrusive. I just don't want to lose the bond we have because it's amazing. I miss him to my very core.