Dating Scorpio man and PETRIFIED
I'm a Scorpio and I've been dating a Scorpio male for about 6 months. We absolutely connected quickly and intensely from the start in every way possible from internal beliefs, likes, to foods, to intimacy. He was single for about 2 years and from what I understand he was still friends/ hanging out with the ex and it broke off quickly and abruptly once I entered the picture. She felt there was more or that they were trying to gain more of a relationship, but he went "cold" on her and wouldn't budge anymore towards any relationship with her. He was somewhat sad because the friendship ended, but had a "I don't care, I want you" attitude with me and has told me so. We have professed our love and confusion about feeling so intensely connected so quickly, but we agreed to "not think, just do.." and continue to talk sometimes twice a day and spend every possible moment on the weekends together. He must tell me a hundred times daily that he loves me and totally assures me in every way possible that he really does care for me.
Now, here comes the tricky part, he has female and male friends to which I have been introduced and practically shown off to like a prized possession in a loving way. One woman "A", who is involved with a male friend of his, and him seem to either be like brotherly/sister friendship or it is something more and this is where I am petrified. My gut instinct goes haywire on certain things and this woman is one of them. I've met her a total of 3 times and it seems to me that when he is around her, he checks her out and looks at her enough to make me wonder if there was something more there. He seems to put his arm on her chair rest, also. I even asked him on my 2nd meeting of her and he said, absolutely not that they were never involved. On the 3rd occasion, I was standing in front of them and he, again, put his hand on her chair rest and she positioned her arm and hand next to his and they sort of interlocked pinky and index fingers, either in a friendly awkward way or something more. I, of course, felt my skin crawl and got so nervous that I went quiet and rigid. He knew something was wrong and started to really give me a lot of attention from that point on. I took some of the attention, but decided to give him a little bit of a chilly shoulder as a way to protect myself. I said nothing was wrong when he asked me, but I really wanted to leave right then and there. Later that night, we were sleeping on a couch and he mentioned to me that I need to stop worrying about "A" and then I blew a gasket. I mentioned that I've noticed him checking her out and always seeming to get close to her and mentioned the finger playfulness thing and told him bluntly, "If you want to go <blank>her, then get it over with. But I will not be a part of a threesome situation. That was b.s. and I did not like it one bit." He seemed really taken by this side of me and basically said there was nothing going on between them two and was quiet. Later in the day, I said that I do not have ability to trust (crying at the same time) and wanted to talk about my outburst. He asked me to come cuddle with him and then we had an intimate loving moment, after a while of holding each other. It was like he was trying to comfort and assure me without words. I am not jealous of any of the other women friends, just this one and I think I have reason to fell that way.</blank>
A few days later I wrote him and explained again that I do not have ability to trust and when I see something like that- it makes me suspicious. I said that it felt like the two of them were playing me and her live-in boyfriend of many years. I also said in my letter that if I would ever get a glimpse of this type of situation again that I would definitely walk away for fear of putting him in a situation that I could not trust him. I would rather walk away than keep him like a caged animal. I told him I did not need a response and that I was done talking about it. He later acknowledged my letter, but I did not press any further nor did I want any explanation. We still talk daily like it never happened, but deep inside I am petrified if I find myself in another situation like this and have to walk away from what could be the most magical relationship I have ever had. We may only see this woman friend a few times a year, but I fear the next time and actually do not want to endure it. I am seriously thinking of manipulating the situation and asking the we do not attend "whatever" function- which will probably be her birthday. Am I trying to extend this beautiful relationship I seem to have? And am I just thinking there is more to this when there is not, because I tend to over-think simple explainable things. What kind of input do you have for this?
**** Might I also add that he is flirty with older women (who I know he would never be interested in) and very hugging to men that he is friend with.
*** And some more background, my scorpio man lost his job about 2 years ago, moved into his parents with his teen son. Since dating him, he's lost his vehicle and quit a part-time demeaning job that I was happy about only because it put him in a situation of drinking more than he should. He's cried to me that he has nothing to offer me, but assures me he loves me and wants to get his act together so we can be together. We've talked marriage. I'm not pushing him to get his life together, as I have my own place and car and job (and a possible offer coming up for a better job). I honestly think he's so down on himself, but tries so humbly to be wonderful and caring towards me.
I recognize so much of what you wrote. I too was involved with a Scorpio a few years ago and the start was just as you described yours. The A woman also entered my relationship yet it was a person who was involved with a friend of mine. We hung out as a group etc.
You know the saying where there is smoke there is fire. (sorry if I didn't write that right). The fire in my situation was that the woman friend wasn't happy in the relationship she had with my friend and jealous of what we had.
Okay your situ is a bit different but yeah.
Your guy sincerly loves you yet he is also very uncertain of himself for the very reason you mention job lost etc.
You can try to manipulate the situation yet I don't think you need to do so. You have set your bounderies and I think that is more than enough. You are an independant woman so no need to worry in that department.
What messed up my relationship the most was my own insecurities that I had at the time. I let many things get to me including the backstabbing games my friends woman was playing.
I would say listen to your vibes yet also give your guy the chance to proof he can behave himself. If he can't don't errupt don't give her the satifaction to see you upset because she has noticed too. And just leave.
It won't be easy on the heart but it will give you the chance to keep your dignity.
My ex had a job but payed less than mine and had terrifying debts.
Nothing wrong with over-thinking simple things. I do it most of the time yet I also learned to trust my instincts.
Oh the flirts ..if you can't handle it let him know. My ex did that just to be uhm how can I put this "important" towards others. There is a shame factor going on here and they act out like this. Weird but true.
PS. After many many years I ran into another friend and he told me that the woman A has been unfaithful to my ex-friend so many times with friends and proffesionals that were involved in his projects. And my ex ended up with a woman that has him on a short leash.
Thank God I am not crazy about thinking these things, Flowsco. Yea, I'm wondering if the woman and her guy aren't happy, but I think it's a matter of her guy works too much and doesn't have time for her. Of the 3 times I seen her, 2 of the times she was alone and not with him. She is a bartender and works a few nights a week and I guess it was a common place for my Scorpio to hang out and whatever may or may not have happened between them two is in the past and should not be brought into the future. I happened to mention directly to her that I may get a job close to her in the engineering field (all truth, as this is what I do) and I think it made her realize that I am more than just a dumb little girl dating my Scorpio.
Being a Scorpio myself, I know I have ability to always have the upper hand because when I was internally upset that night, I dared not show it and went about dancing with some of the girls, while the two of them chatted about whatever. I got in my "I don't care mood and I will deal with this later or not, depending on what he says or does." So, when the subject was brought up later that night, boy I blew up and let him have it in a respectable but assure way that I wasn't playing games with him or anyone else.
I have never talked him down about his situation of living with his parents, no car and no job and have always made light of it and accepted it for what it was. I have re-assured him on so many ways that I'm not there for what he does or doesn't have, but for who he is as a person and I've told him I believe in him and us. I doubt she would ever dare try to talk down about me because I have always been kind and never made a scene in front of anyone. That sort of things would probably turn off my Scorpio man towards her if she spoke against me. He seems like the type that, in time, would back me up without a doubt and choose me over any of his friends. And if he doesn't, sure it will sting quite a bit and take a decade to get over this short of a deep relationship, but I will survive.
I just feel so deeply connected to him and I know he feels the same way that I would feel a part of me sincerely died if he and I didn't make it for the long haul. I've told him from the start, don't test me and don't try to make me jealous because it will hurt and I will walk away. So, in essence, I may have made him insecure (not on purpose) about himself because I honestly think he feels I can do better than him, but in reality, he is so much on my mind and in my heart that I could never walk away from any small bumps in the road- like no job, no car etc... but infidelity or even a fraction that he may cause me any insecurities about myself, I would run in a heartbeat. I have been through far too much in my lifetime already to put up with any games from any man and this he does know loud and clear.
There was a few weeks that he was just in a horrid deep depressed mood all the time that we seen each other, not because of me, but of his own problems; this was right before he lost his car.. but I didn't know this was happening at the time because he didn't want to tell me. So, driving one night home from being out, he snapped at me about driving (I had no clue where I was and the GPS took me to a road that was out). So, I politely told him in a strong way, "Ya know, my life sucks too but you don't see me taking it out on you. We only see each other on the weekends and I don't want those precious moments ruined by your foul behavior. Stop being so critical and help me instead of harboring me." I dropped him off and went home.... since then, he has really changed his foul behavior and actually cried that night. He was so worried that he lost me and that he messed it up between us. I was so worried that my little "talk" had made him run away.
But I am wondering about the "now", he seems not to be disturbed by what I had to say or, at least, he's pretending he's not worried about it. I just pray that I've set clear boundaries of being respected. Heck, I even watch porn with him, as I like it too. Part of me really wants to know why they had that little hand dancing episode. My heart sinks when I think about it, but I did notice that he knew I got cold and knew he did something wrong and tried to make it all better by really trying to get closer to me. If he wants me like he says he does, then I guess time will tell and I'll have to take a lot of deep breaths. Thanks for your input and I still want to hear more from others to ease my anxiety, just a little bit...
Any other Scorpio perspectives out there want to provide input?
Whoa!! It’s like reading me. Gosh… first off I am from the same year as you and boy you react the exact the same way as I do. I mean to the T. And the engineering part also is scary. I am into Architecture/Construction and you?
Okay, no you are not crazy. If we only speak from the horoscope angle ...you are indeed a Scorpio and we do pick up on lots and 98% of the time we are right. If anything is missing we connect the dots.
I think since he has frequent where she works they probably have had some sorts of heart to heart in the past. I don’t know how strong your guy is in his shoes in resisting temptation yet he likes the attention in that way. And you are right it shouldn’t be brought into the future yet these are your standards...how about his?
I mean how would he deal with your male friends/co-worker that have a crush on you but hasn’t crossed that line? My ex had issue with any kind of male attention towards me. And that gave him (so he thought) the right to do lots of stuff since I am not the on the spot drama person. He used to discuss problems we were having with others but not with me. He tried understanding me through others. Came home at night and go silent on me. I can’t read minds so I had no idea what was bothering him on many occasion because he just wouldn’t talk. When we had arguments the stinger came out fiercely. Things evolved in such a way that when we got pregnant and I was had to travel for a funeral right at the same moment that we were moving house...he had a change of heart. I came back to our new home and that same night I had to choose between him and the baby. I chose life and left the very next morning.
So yes I recognize every single moment that you wrote. I have been through them with my ex and a few situations with my present love interest.
I say don’t give her that much attention...well at least don’t let him know/feel that you do because this can become a bigger issue than it needs to. She probably envies you more than you think. You have done all the right things in stating your mind and having the boundaries set.
About the “now”. He is pretending not to worry. He is probably in his own private depression and tries to keep face like not much is going on. For now don’t ask about the hand dancing episode....those kinds of things don’t stay under wraps too long. If you know what I mean. I am a firm believer in guarding my heart because I simply got one. Your guy does want you but he feels he needs to step up his game with you and doesn’t know exactly where to start so people like her that are more “easy” to be with (I mean in his mind less expectation) he feel comfortable with...he can hide is imperfections. He wants to impress you but doesn’t know how. Mind you I am not saying at all that he feels awkward with you it just his manly hood is in a serious dip now and he is unbalanced. Perhaps he is also thinking that this all is too good to be true.
Don't you ever let situations like this break who you are. No one should have such power over you. In this case she is not worth the headache. And you need to do something about your jealousy. We only get jealous when we are not certain of the person's heart and since you have his (I am assuming you do)...you need not to worry.
Has he ever said to you what he expects from you as a woman?
I popped in at the other thread you have (after I responded here) and noticed that we are indeed on the same train of thoughts.
You said to link57 that you tried or are trying to be friends with the woman A. I am going to tell you this. I you don’t want to... just don’t!! Don’t be a crowd pleaser in this because you are going to lose. You are going to bring in more anxieties into your day to day motions than it’s necessary. And you doubting that he wouldn’t have issues with you playing anyone finger wouldn’t bother him is a big fat lie. But you knew that.
You have seen what hand life has dealt you in the past. Not nice yet they were lessons. Remember where you have been and how you fought to be where you are now. Again don’t let anyone have this kind of upper hand. Yes, you can communicate and try to trust but don’t lose you in the process.
What I learned with my relationship with my ex was not let anxiety get the best of me. All what happen between us also left its mark on my ability to trust. Yet I learned that the true lesson here for me was to learn to trust myself and stick to my guns. By doing that and also running into the man that has my heart now I learned not to jump to conclusions (in time) without facts. I don’t do absolutely nothing I don’t want or feel like doing. Not pleasing on a level that I feel uncomfortable with myself. You cannot be the sole worker in any relationship it’s a two way street and communication has to be fully open.
Your guy is testing you big time. You responded like a lady and probably not as he hoped or expected to...so he has to think. And boy he is thinking. He will get back to you with another test. This should be easy for you being a Scorpio to pick up on. This woman A can also be just a puppet for him since she is “easy” for him. You know what I mean.
Then I have additional questions for you...what exactly does he wants from you? Why did he choose you and not her?
PS. He drinks then he is in a depression.
Flow, wow, you have opened up my eyes to things I suspected inside, but reading them gave them light. I do believe from past talks with him that he feels he has nothing to offer me and feels this is a relationship that is too good to be true and he's just waiting to screw it up beyond repair and for me to walk away. So, it would only make sense that he tries to have a relationship with someone with less expectations, in his current state of mind. The woman A is in a relationship and living with her boyfriend and they've been together for 7+ years, I think. I don't know if he would give into temptation, but my guess he wouldn't because his first wife was pregnant to another man even before the divorce papers were signed. I know this made a deep scar on him for a long time; he won't talk about it, a lot, but he did take his young son (at the time) and raised him. He had another 9 year relationship and was on the road a lot and the two of them grew apart, but he tells me they still talk here and there. I think he's hesitant to find a job that takes him on the road for fear of what it would to us. So, I think that's why we talk often because he wants to make sure there is always a connection and growth between us. He wants to make things right for me, but financially can't and I've told him that he needs to take care of himself and his son first.
I told him that all I expect is to not be cheated on and not lied to. I'm not sure who said it first, but he feels the exact same way. I told him that I wanted a long term relationship and to eventually get married when the time is right because I believe in that unity between two people. I've been engaged before and have completely broke it off because either I knew it would be bad in the end or I felt that the ring was only a way for that person to hold onto a broken relationship- that guy was a liar and suspected cheat. My scorpio said he never thought about ever getting married, but would do that with me in a heartbeat. He also tells me he is never going away, i.e. he wants us to be together forever and no matter what has happened to me in the past, he is willing to work on it with me to make me feel secure in "us".
I have given him no time frame nor would I put unnecessary pressure on him to get a job, get his own place. I explained to him that he has a son who needs to finish high school in the next 2 years and I have a son who will be needing my help for about 2 years.. so until then, we both do what we can to survive and eventually we will live together. When I was feeling financial pressure, I got a 2nd job and I think this took him for a loop. Actually, I just quit the 2nd job today (ha ha) because it was too much stress on me. He has told me he wants so badly to be able to take me out to a nice dinner or buy me something thoughtful... and when he does have a little cash, he makes sure to spend it on me. When I know he has run out of his little bit of money (and I'm just intuitive about it), then I'll buy lunch or dinner or whatever, but he makes sure not to even take advantage of it and I think it makes him feel less of a man when I offer to do this.
Lately, he's been in a quiet ~~sort of happy on the outside but sad on the inside ~~shell, not really opening up because there isn't much to talk about, as he says. So, we play cards, cook together and joke around and have good light hearted fun together. I don't press him for what's on his mind, but when I do wonder and ask- he just states "I just hate my life, that's all." then I respond, "But I love you..." and he says it back to me. He's emotionally there for me, as much as he can be, but he isn't because I think he's struggling with his own inner issues. He doesn't even know I quit the 2nd job yet, so I wonder if this will make him feel more secure about us or if it will put pressure on him to step up his game. When I first started the 2nd job, I think he wondered if I was going out and not working (I sensed it), so I'd always make him secure and say something about whatever happened that night or send him pictures from work, just to ease his mind. I know if his mind is anything like mine, then he was worried there was someone else.
So true about bringing on unnecessary anxieties by trying to make "nice nice" with someone I sort of do not trust, i.e. the woman A. All his other women friends are awesome and open up to me and welcome me with open arms. This one stands back, is nice, but I feel she has a different agenda. Now, it could very well be that she watches out for him like a sister would, and deep in my heart that's what I want to believe is true. It far more easier for me to believe she loves him like that. I will be cordial and sweet, but I will be watching from afar.
I do feel this in my bones, that my Scorpio and I need more bonding time to build on us. We need time to learn each other more and for me to really find out what he is all about and to undoubtedly trust him if this woman turns on her charms and tries anything funky. Patience with a Scorpio is a must and I do believe that it takes one to understand one. I am so glad I stumbled onto this site and am so thankful for input from you. Having this build in my mind was too much for me to burden onto my friends and family because they do not really understand the complexities that make up a Scorpio. Not that it's astrological driven in all ways, but there is a definite similarity between all of us in that we think the same, have the same insecurities, drive ourselves to make life better, do not tolerate any crap from anyone and can speak our mind in a respectful, but firm way. BTW, I work in the engineering field of the procurement side. I used to work in procurement with steel manufacturing processes and controls, but now it's telecommunications and possibly cell towers... crossing fingers and toes for this interview to come through in my favor.
I have read what you wrote and I will get back to you later on the evening.
One more thing to add and it could be my testing him or him testing me... But I quit my 2nd job today (too hard working so many hours) and sent him an email stating so and asked what he was doing later. I usually work on Fridays.. He responded with a "same as I always do - nothing".. so I'm thinking he's depressed and said "Well, would you like some company to come over and do nothing? " and I got a " I'll call you later after your done. I got to see what's going on in my asylum."
Weeks ago he would jump at the chance to just be with me doing nothing, as he says my sunny nature helps his anxiety. I certainly do not want to pressure him into spending time with me, but wow, that's what this felt like. Now, I know when he goes out cause he tells me and is frankly honest to me about everything and he's been sinking into a depression because he's bored and jobless. So, I'm thinking he may not want to be around people today because he's in his deep dark man cave. I'm going to try and not take it personally if he doesn't want company, but what an 180 degree turn this week has become with him since I wrote my letter (or that may just be a coincidence). Who knows... I can't get him to open up to me anymore. I'm a Scorpio and I should be able to understand one, now I am really wondering if I know him at all.
My 1st question is 1967 your birth date? You sound much younger. I can support you around your confusion because I was married to a Scorpio. What I would encourage you to do dear is take your focus off of him and let go internally to what he does or does not do say etc and get into your own life. Breathe. Relax. The scrutinizing of his every move and trying to figure him out etc is just crazy making. Try to accept he is doing the best he can do just as you are. Men flirt it's a given try to not let it effect your self esteem.
Let him have his man cave. Try to detach a bit and if it's hard to "trust" him find a way to trust in the process or the bigger picture. Surrender internally.We all have had relationships where we have had our hearts blown open and left feeling fragile, vulnerable but so much of what we desire from another is something we need to find within. It sounds to me like when you are not obsessing you guys get along fine. Try to get out of your head dear and just enjoy what you have. I trust I have not been too harsh.
(Sorry I had to get dinner going etc ..you know the drill)
You’ve got yourself quite a guy there. With the history he has in the relationship department. Whenever you two are up to talk about work/jobs ask him if he would consider changing his vocation. I mean explore what he truly would like to do that would keep him off the road. There must be a program of some sort that he can look into. He needs to focus on the better things in life. I think the situation with his son has him preoccupied as well. A great deal of Scorpio’s are transitioning at this moment job wise or thinking about it. It seems to be in the stars somehow. I think he needs the challenge.
Regarding, the shut down. Let me tell you this. You hit home hard with him and he knows it. And he is digesting. You know. The older we get and sometimes run into the person that truly sees us... we take on board what is said. We might not know right away what to do with the information but it’s dearly noted. I had moments like that not too long ago. I do think he cares and has “shut” down a bit because you are getting relatively close. You don’t expect much from him but that is not how he works. And he is trying to get to terms with being low on cash and everything else.
I know you want more bonding time and I would be inclined to do so too. Yet I think what would work right now is your proactive nature. You quit your second job. Just tell him a.s.a.p. and why. I don’t see why your job (s) should be a subject for him or you to feel secure of each other. It’s a source of income and that’s it. Well that’s how I think about it simply because money comes and it goes. Let him understand how your brain works on any angle. We did that and it prompted both of us to take on new things and develop new skills. Do you guys have any common interests? Oh we.. is me and new guy!!
You both are doing well on the light hearted fun. Works like a charm. Doesn’t it? Otherwise you are doing fine.
Okay you told him I just read...lol. And you got the funny responses (light hearted sarcasm). Uhmm that’s a typical Scorpio. Sorry...:-)
Yet on the serious note he is still digesting what you wrote him. And he isn’t so..uhmm energetic. As I said there is something in the air for many Scorpios that I know around the globe. So yeah don’t take it personally. And no it’s not a coincidence...I don’t believe in that. In your case it’s a combination of everything connected with him. And 6 months is too short to know someone that you aren’t sharing a full time home with. Not that I am suggesting you do so. You stick to your two years plan. That is the time frame he has to shape up. And I think that would give you both ample time to truly get to know how the other really tic.
As long he is still speaking to you...you are good. Don’t second guess yourself. In all honesty when you had it rough I am sure you weren’t that chatty. You are in a good place now with your life and he isn’t quite there yet. You are seeing it correctly and you are reacting accordingly. As I said don’t lose yourself in the process. Remain doing what works for you and your boys and take it as it comes with him. He will open up just not right now.
I can’t help feeling like I am talking to myself (figure of speech)...LOL
I can relate when you say you will be cordial and sweet but remain watching from afar. Only thing I want to say is be careful. Since you feel like he has shut down and if you guys go to any event and she is there you are going to read into things that aren’t there unless you catch him red handed. There must be something that you both have in common hobby wise or something that takes you both outdoors and in contact with other people other than your friends and family. “Patience with a Scorpio is a must and I do believe that it takes one to understand one. I am so glad I stumbled onto this site and am so thankful for input from you. Having this build in my mind was too much for me to burden onto my friends and family because they do not really understand the complexities that make up a Scorpio. Not that it's astrological driven in all ways, but there is a definite similarity between all of us in that we think the same, have the same insecurities, drive ourselves to make life better, do not tolerate any **** from anyone and can speak our mind in a respectful, but firm way “ I agree. I have been single for a longer period than you have yet when I fell for this guy my brains was making overtime. Trust...that was the main ingredient that was a total must for me. And I have been uncannily honest with him about where I stand and what I am willing and not willing to do or change at this stage in my life. He did the same. My friends and relatives I haven’t truly discussed my thoughts with them for the very reason you mentioned here. I picked just a handful of people that knows me from different stages of my entire life and selected a part of what I wanted to debate with them ...just to see if I wasn’t being too hard on myself. The rest I pieced together. I also don’t tolerate interference from others with this relationship. Your work sounds interesting. I used to estimate building projects and now I advice in contemporary designs. Yet I am also considering a total overhaul in my career. I should know soon which choice to make. I got several options. So I am crossing fingers for you too. My advice for now is take it a day at the time and continue doing what you do best. See where his brains is on the day. Flow.
Good advice. My life is full of Scorpios and my Scorpio mate has been with me over 40 years. First, accept they are magnetic and very sexual and get attention. Yes, it was an irritation at times when at any gathering he always attracted the attention of at least one woman. Mostly, it really is just for the moment and harmless. Truth is if he's really cheating he would be much more secretive about it! So, keep your ego in check--as I suspect what you hated was thinking you look like a fool. That's nonsense--I have male friends I love dearly and we hug and touch and kiss in public but would never cheat. I think your scorp is insecure beside you and he is rattling your chain to keep you off balance--it's a power move--scorpios are famouse for that kind of manipulation. Only way to avoid that is to refuse to take the bait and stay busy in your own life. Scorpio men respect a strong woman who doesn't need him to complete her and one who resists his crazy making. You can not own or control him---if he loves you--he expects you to trust that and next time you are in a group situation and he is chummy with a female you should not be so focused on that but should be socializing yourself. Never try to purposely make him jelouse but at the same time you should honestly enjoy others company. A jelouse Scorpio is not a good thing and can do a lot of damage so trust him unless he proves otherwise--unless you actually catch him you need to let the fear go or it will destroy your relationship fast. I really think he is feeling insecure about his living situation right now and getting you to feel emotional and focused on him is a form of manipulation---steals your power. So he feels the power is more equal. Decide to trust him untill he PROVES different and get a little bit more preocupied in your own life. Scorpios respect that even if they grumble it keeps them from being tempted to be possesive and manipulative in a sneaky way. They are the masters and take matters of the heart very seriously even when they pretend otherwise. BLESSINGS!
I think Horoscope compatibility can help you the best.
Thank you all for the very wise input.
What's strange with me (and maybe it's the Scorpio thing) and I've experienced this on more than one occasion is that I FEEL when things are going to happen. My gut (and paranoia) goes haywire when that happens and sometimes I don't know what it is until the 'event' happens...
Well, I do now... I was laid off from job #1 today, ironically I quit job #2 Friday.... but all is not lost.. I have an interview Tuesday (#3 interview)... Boy, God has impeccable timing... ha ha!!
I honestly think that I was getting so paranoid about a non-event (this woman situation) and what was really happening in my brain was it telling me about today's event. One time I was feeling the same similar anxieties for about a week prior and thought a good friend was in an accident the day it went totally bazurk, here it turned out to be my dad who was in an accident on that night. With this situation, I felt "something was going to end" and probably assumed it was the relationship because I thought I would be employed with job #1 at least until the end of the year. But, my gut was directing me for a good few months to get extra money so I could pay some things, then it went crazy for the last few weeks. Sometimes I hate when it happens.. but at the same time, I love it.
As for my age, yes I am 44 this year and I probably sounded immature with reason because my senses were in overdrive and my logic went out the window. Now that the event happened, I am calm as a cucumber and are focused on me again.
As for common things we do together, there is a whole host of things we do together from playing card games, board games, creativity (him with making furniture and me with painting), outdoor walks, watching movies, cooking and on and on. We are so compatible in so many ways that it's beautiful. We had a fabulous weekend together. I tried to be Ms Sunshine and he politely asked that I don't do that because he wasn't in the mood. I let it go, backed away (teasing him at the same time) and he got over his moment of grumpiness and we ended up having a lot of fun regardless.
I do know I cannot help him with his situation; only he can do that. But, I talked to his mom in length over the weekend and she doesn't hesitate to spill her opinions about him. I don't even try to encourage it, but it helped me to see the whole picture. I told her that I feel he is depressed and withdrawing from everyone, which is very evident. But I also told her that she has to do what she has to do- even if it's a matter of her kicking him out. Sometimes tough love works, but knowing him- he would disappear into the woods and come out in a few months after his head got back together. He is a good-hearted man who is so lost in his bad situation that it's going to take a real eye opener to wake him up, take whatever job he can get and swallow his ego, just a bit.
And now, I am going to focus on me again, do my thing and take care of myself. I will probably re-read this forum over and over when I feel those self-doubting evils that lurk in my brain.. But, what I read is absolutely true, I cannot change the way he is.. I can change me and how I react to things and not obsessively think about little happenings.
Thanks again all! You keep me grounded
Hi....First thing first. How did the interview go?
As for the radar alert you mentioned. I think it’s partially linked to our sign and it could be that you have a semi dormant ability. That is something you could look into if you are interested and open for that. Yet this must be absolutely 100% your choice also in whatever manner or whenever you decide to do so.
And yes God has impeccable timing.
Uhmm no. I wouldn’t say you were paranoid and what happen with you being laid off isn’t linked. Astrologically there is so much going on at the moment so it makes sense. We are in the last days of a Retrograde (Mercury) and it has a habit of messing around with situations. Now that I mentioned this I hope you had a great interview with the chance to sign/agree in a few days. Like at the beginning of next week?!?!
What you can do in the meanwhile is keep notes of when and how you get into these anxieties and what event is matched to it. See if you find a deeper pattern.
And as for how you sound...don’t worry about that. The way I hang out with kids and/or younger people than I am you would swear that I am around 27 or so.
Glad to read that you two had a great weekend and that you got many more things in common. I find that to be essential. The mind has to remain engaged in a positive way. Everyone has faults.
Uhmm this is a very personal opinion yet I want to share it with you. It’s great that you and the mom got along and that she was open to share with you. YET don’t do this again. If your guy finds out that this is going to be a habit between you and her ...you can have yourself another problem that you aren’t really banking on. I personally don’t like it to be honest I absolutely detest it.
When I was with my Scorpio guy he had the tendency to talk with others about us and ask for advice how to handle me or a situation. He created opportunities for others to sabotage on a gradual way. I didn’t do that because I simply don’t like meddling on any level. After the split up I was astonished to what length people did go to help to break up what they jealous. My mother in-law (my ex’s mother) and I still are on great terms just as we were at the time simply because they way I am. I never pulled her into anything regarding my ex until the moment after I broke up and stated how I saw everything and what I was going to do about my upcoming parenthood and that I still see them as family. You got a fresh thing going on right now with your guy. No matter how things evolve in the future every decision, talk etc has to be something between the two of you.
Something else if the mother does decide to kick him out...are you going to take him in? Because I think in his logic he might be inclined to look your way.
And yes you are right you can’t change him unless he wants to do it himself...so don’t try to manipulate the change via the mother okay?
I hope you can also draw from the previous relationships you had and incorporate the positive growth and lessons into all you do in the future.
If you are anything like me....you will do fine ..LOL.