"Captain, What Happened to ME ....?"
Captain ~ what happened ..... to Me .... to Time ....????
I used to be this confident woman, one that worked her way out of turmoil or obstacles ..... what happened .....??? I am scared as I do not recognized the spirit I have become, recognizing that those who called themselves my best friends ..... turned their back on me ...... or those I confided in betrayed me as they had nothing better to do then tell other people of my short comings or where life has taken me today and the situation I currently find myself in.
I am learning the means of what the word "humble" ... and I am working it getting familiar with that ...... never the less ... I have stopped thinking or screaming "I don't belong here" because Source and Me put me here ~ I struggle conflicted with what I thought I knew of all that the outside entails and then I have this gut inside feeling that totally tells another story ~ "What happened to me?"
I am so scared ...... my family has no idea of where I am nor what my life has come to ...... I am of fear ..... and I have no one to reach out to ........ it is all just this on-going night mare and I have not found my way out of it. In the silence of the night "energy" came to me again "moving things around me, crawling through out my body .... leaving its prints....." I miss Emery because he was one that would listen to me and what I have experienced ....... on the other hand I hear my Papa's voice telling me "this is unacceptable and that I am insane....." Am I ~ I am not sure any more so much has happened .... so many people/spirits have come and gone/left my life recently .... leaving me in a mess and despair .... again wondering what was up, down, true or fabricated .....?" Law of Attraction reads that true freedom lays in "Not caring about what other people say about you and just to be authentic and to BE ....!!!!" on some level it all sounds so familiar .... yet if I step out side ...... outside voices tell me I am "NOT dealing with reality ....." This is all ao confusing .....!!
"What happened to me Captain?"
Love and Light Always,
What happened is that the great support structure of family and friends you thought you had has crumbled away to reveal they weren't very good supporters at all, just very weak people. Now you are frightened because you are called on to support yourself. You just have to believe you have the strength and wisdom and nerve to do it. And ignore any voice in your head that tells you that you cannot do it. That's just old bad conditioning from the past. Yes, it's scary to stand on your own feet but in the end it is the only thing you can do in order to survive.