Scorpio woman who wants her cancer man back....

  • I've been with this cancer on and off for about 3 years. On more than off. When ment we instantly became best friends and when I found out about his Cancer exgirlfriend he couldn't get over of I did everything in my power to exspose her and get rid of her hold on him. In the first 3 months we were together he cheated on me with her. I forgave him because I could tell how serious he was about me and that was his first love... I forgave but never forgot. So from the begining no matter how great things were, I still had trust issues. We'd argue almost anything but laugh it off or forget it happened within minutes. We were both so hard headed. I never been more understanding of a person in my life. It was almost like I could soak in all of his emotions and he'd do the same. I've never been more content in my life and happy just to be standing next to someone. He was everything I wanted. The few time we broke up though... it was heartful more of a war than anything. He left once and I found someone he couldn't stand to make him jealous... to spite he called up his ex I worked so hard to get rid of. We got back together as if it didn't happen. These kinds of things made both of us extremely needy and controling. Phones, Facebooks, etc. All of our friends told us how unhealthy our relationship was but we tuned them out completely. If I told him to do something he'd do it and same for me. We were talking about getting engaged and saving up to move in together. In the mist of all this we still were happy. Well to get to the really story on how this went completely down hill... I went out of town. Neither of us drink or smoke. While I was away he got completely smashed. I couldn't do anything about it. I felt so helpless... I had to beg his friends to take care of him. He had me so worried and I couldnt stop crying. I felt betrayed... this was something we agreed we wouldnt do or didnt need. He acted like it wasnt a big deal ir was for the expierence. I pretended to let it go but I couldn't. Months later when we got in arguement... I lost it. I went to a friends party and got wasted. While he sat outside in his car crying his eyes out begging me to just go home. I wanted him to feel as helpless as me. Unfornutely he had friends at this party who called him and made the situation a lot worse. We were together the next day and to me fine... I felt equal and releaved. He didn't. He wasn't the same. He said I was supposed to be the trustworthy one. Which was true.... I hadn't kissed another guy since the day I met him... and I didn't at that party either... he was just very hurt, I can honestly say he's hurt me worse than that. Fast forward six months and things very up and down. He went ahead and moved in with friends rather than wait on our place. He seemed distant... and as much as I wanted to work on things my two jobs and school kept me busy. Out of no where he says he needs space but of course we still talk, sleep, eat together as normal. Then he tells me to leave him alone... Confused and shocked I find him dating another girl. Not only that he's very hateful towards me. I BEGGED HIM TO STOP. he laughed at me. Made me out to be pathetic. He tells everyone how mistreated he was when I treated him like king of the damn earth when we were together. I knew he just wanted more attention and he found a new girl to be up his ass and make him feel wanted. He knew he was wanted with me... but he needed more. He found some christan, athletic, pisces who had never had boyfriend before so of course she would be gaga over him. But she wasn't like us... I know she'll never get him like I do. Even he has admitted that. He completely warping this girl to fit him. Yet he's falling fast. I don't feel like its real... I don't know how he could ever feel what he felt for me for someone else. They say I love you and it only been a couple boths. To us that was such a strong word and he's just tossing it around. I think he's only infatuated... and content. I haven't seen him smile in a single photo with her... I feel completely betrayed... and bitter... but I've never felt more empty and lost with out him. How do I get him back? we tried talking but he only argues. Now he acts like he doesn't care. I went out with someone and made to where he find out. He called me and made it a point to make feel bad for that date. I did this purposely to see if he'd care and it obviously bothered him... he just claimed it was for the sake to prove i didn't care like I said I did... I need help. I'm so lost. Miserable. I'm only watching this girl get attached and him may be doing the same. I know if I could get him alone... he'd melt for me like he always did. I just can't get him to come anywhere near me right now.

  • Sorry thats extremely long ^

    but had to get it out

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