Scoripio Men - I Need Your Input

  • I have been close friends with a man (Scorpio Sun, Scorpio Moon) I am a woman (Pisces Sun/Scorpio moon) for about 4 years now--we are both single and I am extremely attracted to him on many levels. We live in different states, but when we see each other (most often in groups with other people), he stares at me constantly when he thinks I am not looking and sometimes will meet my eyes and stare until I avert my eyes. Other people observe him staring at me and immediately think there is something between us. People who don’t know us and observe us together say the energy between us makes us seem like a couple, like we belong with each other. He frequently touches my arm or hand, finds excuses to call me, tells me he misses me, pays me lots of amazing compliments such as telling me I am "magical", tells me he loves, adores and trusts me but insists that he is not romantically attracted to me when I asked him directly on two occasions and let him know how I felt, too. Any woman with a pulse would think that he is attracted with this type of behavior. We have a very strong connection, even telepathic. Is he confused, or am I? Scorpio men, what is UP with his behavior? It's maddening! I feel he is interested but afraid of exposing his heart again in another relationship after getting emotionally crushed in his previous marriage (which ended years ago). How to make him feel safe to be in a relationship again, Scorpio guys, help me out here, I really love this man.

  • They are very misleading it take s a while to work them out trust me 17 years on and im only starting to figure my hubby out , they can be very cold at times, secretive . Dont worry you are not alone . They are defentley an odd species .

  • Odd species is right! I wish I could walk away from these feelings for him but they mystery, intrigue and challenge keep me interested even though my patience is being tested and frustration often sets in...

  • Leslye,

    I feel your pain. I have been playing that same game with a Scorpio man for 5 years now. He drives me insane. Everytime we get really close and comfortable with one another he pushes me away. I then ignore him and fall off the face of the earth and he becomes a stalker. I was told that the more they feel for you the more they push you away and the more confusing they become. CRAZY ISN'T IT. He was also badly hurt by his last girlfriend so to him every woman that he meets is the same. He sees the good in me but thinks its just too good to be true. They can play this game forever. Good luck


  • 3 years here and they are a mysterious bunch!!

  • I hate it how they are so secretive , for example my hubby will be talking to his Mother on the phone and he will walk out of the room so that i dont hear what is being said,(and this is not because it is noisy inside or anything like that ) and when hes hung up the phone not a word is mentioned not that i want know all the details after all its only his Mum ,but still this behaviour is irritating .as there have been a few events and things coming up and motherinlaw would say oh ill see you at the bbq on saturday and im likewhat bbq? It can be embarressing at times as well , as i know my monsterinlaw gloats on this behaviour .

  • So glad to know I am not in the boat alone! Mysterious is the key word. When he was visiting my city a year ago, he asked a realtor friend (unknown to me) to take him to look at homes. Recently, he asked me pricing on homes in one of our favorite neighborhoods we like to take a walk in. I seriously can't imagine him pulling up stakes and moving to my small city from his big city where his life is, but then I think, his feelings for me are likely a lot stronger than he lets on by the mere fact he is talking reat estate... Maddening. When we are alone, he is so warm and engaging with me. We both make each other laugh until we cry. We are just comfortable together, have so much in common, we have known each other lifetimes, that is for sure. Then, when we're in public with mutual friends and colleagues, it's almost as if I don't exist and he puts on the cool, aloof exterior on--though I still catch him watching me. He travels a lot for his work and he will periodically, at the very last minute, ask me to come and join him. It's never been possible for me to go in those moments, and it's never clear what he is thinking - am I going as a girlfriend or a friend?! He has been divorced for ten years and is still licking his wounds. And yet still, I love him. Oy Vey!

  • @ Aries 22: Soooo Crazy! I was speaking to him on video skype the second time I was talking about my feelings for him. I had sent him a note telling him I needed him to be clear with me one way or the other because his behavior is very suggestive and misleading if his intentions are for friendship only. I had to try so hard not to crack up laughing because he was saying one thing with his words and his body language was saying something completely different. He does the same thing as your guy, if I ignore him, he starts stalking. He also does the hot and cold thing. Totally engaged for a period of time, then falls off the radar screen. I am a glutton for punishment!

  • Hi Leslye

    They tend to do that if they are not the centre of attention.

  • If it's any consolation, I've been in a similar situation with a Scorpio gal for the last 5 years. She says it's not romantic, but has shown, said, and done every that was described. When I finally confronted her with it a few months ago, I was told that I was crazy. We've barely spoken since, but it's still gnawing away at me. Typical, I suppose. I'm both too prideful to call her first and unable to get over it. It's irritating to say the least.

  • Hi Scorpio1973,

    Im assuming from your username that you are a scorpio yourself ? , Im a taurus married to a scorp and we clash alot .How does it work being in a relationship with the same sign ?I would love to hear your insight.

    Love and light Loap:)

  • Hi Scorpio 73, at least when I talked to my guy about it, he didn't go nuts and we are still friends. My situation gets even more complicated. We are both spiritual people and teachers of a spiritual path. though he was married before, he says he has chosen the single life (meaning celibate, he can't even say the word). I would be totally fine with that if his behavior matched his choice. Based on conversations that I had with him previously and knowing how painful his marriage was for him, I think he is chosing to hide behind his spirituality to avoid relationship. It feels like he wants to have an emotional relationship with me, but one that is safe, where he doesn't risk getting hurt. I would give anything to be able to walk away from a friendship with him, but I feel like a moth to a flame. Our connection is so strong. It's maddening. At the same time, I feel my attraction to him closes me off to the possibility of a relationship with another man. I have this feeling he would be insanely jealous if I were to be with another man. Arggghhh!

  • The celibate part doesn't suprise me, but oh that can change just like the rest of it, they go from one extreme to the other. My ex scorpio insists hes still in love with me, we broke up 17 years ago, and he has a girlfriend, or friends, I can't even get the story straight, but theres a woman that always posts that she is so happy he loves her lol, I called him out on it and he said" shes not you, oh and I don't think I'll be able to talk to you for awhile" wtf? I said ok then glad we could get you some closure. These are some interesting males to say the least. I thought taurus was frustrating, but they are alteast most always honest and upfront, the scorpio guys seem to enjoy confusing people, and being shady, seceretive, they seem very aware that they are doing it, but I have no idea why some of them like to play cat and mouse with their love interests, or get it in their heads that they can't have a love relationship because they might want to take it to the physical level, and that might mess with their celibate choice I suppose. Good luck!:)

  • Like so many signs, the scorpio girls I know do not seem to behave this way, they are secretive too, but not with their love interests.

  • Yes you are totally right Bluecat, i have a scorpio girlfriend who is exactly how you describe , yes i to feel that scorpio like guys confuse people, im sure they get their kicks from doing this mine tried to make out it was all my fault that he isnt getting any money back on his tax return and im like wtff??????? your not gonna bring this back on me , and he stormned out in with a huff and a puff being the big bad wolf again well this little piggy isnt buying into his games anymore , lifes to short for this BS i find now that im not he is the one following me around like a puppydog .

  • @Livingonaprayer and Leslye: I think what I'd say would answer both of ya. I'm not exactly proud of this, but we're both otherwise involved. Leslye, that's been my problem, too. Her actions don't match her words at all. We were supposed to be purely platonic, and she referred to me as her "twin brother". I know EXACTLY what you mean about the connection. I think I might even miss it more than I miss her as a person. I'm afraid I'll sound like I'm completely schizophrenic , but it went from harmless and amusing: both of us unintentionally ordering the same thing in a restaurant while out for lunch to completing each others sentences to being able to sense each other's emotions. We even literally seemed to hypnotize each other. If one of us were angry or upset about something else in life, just being around the other seemed to make it better..almost like some sort of hypnotism. I know, call the shrinks, right? Something tells me you know what I mean.

    We rarely clashed unless I started seeing another Scorpio woman. It wasn't often, but she'd pull a jealous ex-girlfriend act on me. If I had job offers in other states or countries, she'd ask me not to leave her here alone. After a few years of this, I couldn't stand it any more and leveled with her. Mind you, I only asked her what she wanted from me, because It certainly seemed similar to your experience, Leslye- romantic but lacking physical. I could have lived with it, but it didn't seem like she was honest with me and I really resented her response, saying that it was all in my head.

    This is great This is like therapy!! I know again exactly what you mean. I don't want to let go of this, but have more or less managed to externally. Unfortunately, it took forcing the situation to a head, but it did stop the friendship at least for the moment. I've found other women since, but it's really not the same. Since then, we've done stupid games like deleting and then readding each other on Facebook, or an occasional SMS. I figure this all comes down to control. Neither of us are willing to blink first. I'm not going to pretend I wasn't hearing and seeing things to be friends with anyone, even her. Thanks for letting me rant and vent. This is better than psychiatry! haha..

  • @ Scorpio1973 - not schizphrenic at all. I am enjoying the mutual therapy sessions! These connections we have are incredibly strong. My guy and I have totally telepathic moments and always know what the other is thinking/feeling without verbal communication. Interesting she calls you her twin brother. I have been looking into this whole concept of twin flame connections. My guy and I, even though we are different generations, raised in different socio-economic classes and totally different family types, religion, etc, have some many commonalities and parallel events in our lives it's freaky. They continue to happen. As examples, he called me one day while I was at work to see how I was doing, I said, terrible as my organization was getting sued and I had to handle it. He then exclaims, I am getting sued, too! (His company). Last Christmas, I was spending alone with me and my sick Mom who suddenly had to go to the hospital on Christmas Eve. I felt so alone, strangely, no one was calling me with Christmas wishes. I just sat there wishing my guy would call. He did, he was on the otherside of the country unexpectedly sitting in a hospital with his aunt who raised him like her son. We both desperately wanted children in our marriages and both had three miscarriages, no kids in the end. What makes me nuts is that I know he feels the same things, I almost sense he feels more intensely than I do. When we are together (which isn't often because of our locations) we have beautiful and intense conversations, we laugh until we cry and just adore each others' company. We even took an overnight trip once, just the two of us, up in the mountains. I took him to some of the most beautiful places, mountain lakes with snowcapped mountains, thinking "he's going to kiss me." No such luck. Lately I have been doing my best to create a distance and energetically detach from him. Each time I do, in some way he comes storming back in to my life stirring the pot again. I have been seeing an intuitive bodyworker who clears negative energies and balances energy in the body. She easily taps into other people and said my guy is strongly attracted to me and not interested in any other women but very dedicated to his spiritual path and right now, that is his surrogate relationship. I will see him in a few weeks to take a course he is teaching. Not sure how I feel about that yet... He also does that famous Scorpio "hot and cold" thing where he is either totally attentive to me or acts as if I barely exist. As I am writing this, the only sane thing to do seems to be to walk away, but I don't know how to do that. Somewhere in me I believe that he may come around after sometime given the connection and feelings we have for each other. He has told me to my face that he loves and adores me. When he hugs me, I feel so safe, like I am home. I know he feels this too and am baffled that he fails to act on it over and over again. @Bluecat, I guess I am hoping he will change extremes and swing to the other side from celibacy to his sexy scorp self (he oozes sensuality) .

  • Leslye,you just said something that I catch myself doing, too.

    "Somewhere in me I believe that he may come around after sometime given the connection and feelings we have for each other." I've had the same thought. Who could resist such a connection indefinitely? I honestly haven't been able to tackle that one other than old fashioned will power. In my case I decided that if it does happen, it's not going to happen now and pulled myself away as much as I could. So far, I've only been moderately successful externally and day to day internally.

    I've just been telling myself ad naseum that it's just not meant to be, now at least.

    Don't take the hot and cold streaks personally. I've been accused of pulling the stereotypical disappearing act, too. It's rarely intentional is all I can say. I just get wrapped up in my own things.

    I think you're doing the right thing though...I know what a monster it is to walk away from this type of connection. I've got a ridiculous amount of obscure similarities with my Scorp gal, too. Ridiculous details like having the same types of weird dental work at the same age or both being born prematurely for the same reasons. I've often thought of it as a personal brand of heroin for lack of a more pleasant way of phrasing t. If you're not getting exactly what you need from him, you're better off in the long term to get the heck away from him asap. Of course, I wish I'd take my own advice on this one, too:P

  • @Scorpio 1973 - words of a wiseman! The hot and cold stuff I did take personally at first, but then grew to know it had absolutely nothing to do with me, it still doesn't feel good, though. Doing my best now to just focus on my life and and employ that will power you speak of to minimize contact with him, as difficult as that is for me to do. I think I just have to accept this as one of life's mysteries that I will never understand as I think he will go down with the ship before he would act on his feelings. I just hope he does not have regrets later on when it's too late. Thanks for your support and I wish you the strength you need to resist the quicksand of your Scorp girl.

  • Believe me, I've learned that one the hard way, too. I've never realized when I was doing it, but I've been on the receiving end of it, too. It's awful and confusing to say the least.

    Let me ask you this, because it looks like you're doing something else I catch myself doing:

    Are you devoting a lot of energy trying to figure out what he's thinking and with what if's?

    "I just hope he does not have regrets later on when it's too late." I've had the same thought, word for word followed by an "I'll show you if you would see me with someone else."

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