well I don't know about you, but today was a rough day! At this moment I'm sitting on my bed with some ice cream and my makeup smudged all over my face! I really hope you're not in the same predicament right now...this whole "letting go...not caring" thing sucks!
Anyways, I've spent the last hour or two looking around at some picture quotes to describe some emotions. I think you'll relate to them as well...I hope you like them.
Take a look at my post above when you get the chance.
awww hey sorry astra! they wouldn't let me post the pictures
here's one though that I thought was really good. made me cry!
take a look at my last post on the page back when you get a chance. love, Dani
Oh hey Dani Bo
That is so lovely, that pic! I am thrilled you wanted to share that. Really sweet. I know that Nick would be really touched to see that. I hope you are keeping a scrapbook or something to keep a record of all your letters and pics and so forth in case he does show up at your door soon. I am still really wanting that for you!
To answer your question, I don't know what would possess a guy to act like that. As a guy, I honestly don't know what would keep him away like he has been. I would certainly be knocking on your door by now! He does have your email, right? I mean, did you ever give that to him? Did you guys trade phone numbers? Its possible that on board that ship that emails come over differently than they do on land, and could become lost? So I am starting to wonder... did he ever actually receive your emails to begin with? So tell me Dani, are you sure he has your contact info? I felt like that was a question we needed to rule out. These computers these days, who can trust them? Something might have happened!
You asked "will he ever be ready?" Now, i am tempted to pull a card right there to answer that question. Should we? I mean, with God in the picture now, and our faith in Christ, it could be that Heaven now wants us to use our faith instead on the cards? I wonder about that. Then, like I was in Barnes in Noble today and looking at bibles... to replace the ones I threw away.. and them i am looking at all of the Tarot decks for sale and I am thinking, there are so many nice spiritual tools like these, surely God is okay with it? Do you ever take your Tarot deck to church with you while you are talking to Jesus, and pull a card to see what he is saying back to you? I kinda do that sometimes. Curious to see how God might communicate with us through that way.
Oh well, let's pull a card and see... you let me know at any time when you are feeling like you would rather simply use your faith...
Five of Pentacles. Hmm.. this is one those cards that shows the poor guys outside a church in the snow... while inside the church it is nice and warm.. I see that church as representing you, and there is some real warmth there for Nick... and Nick is out in the cold... I don't think he is ready yet. Will he ever be ready may depend on DaniBo. You are sure he has your contact info?
Let's draw another card.... Judgement. Uh oh, and with god in the mix this has deep theological implications. Will he be ready eventually? This card show a lot of naked people and some angels in the heavens above them. The meaning I am getting is that Nick may be devout like you, and could be waiting on heaven to announce something, he is waiting for a heavenly sign, something that tells him he can go to you. There are six angels in the heavens and as you pointed out to me so nicely, six is a very warm and caring number, and so six angels tells me that heaven and the angels are very involved with his decision. They seem to be all blowing something, like long long horns. Trumpets I guess. This is the sound that Nick might be waiting for. I see this as a very positive sign, and he is ready to decide for you as soon as he gets the green light from heaven. When you went out with him, did you have any talks about God? I am wondering what his religious feelings are. it could have some bearing on his decision.
Does Nick know that I'm waiting for him?
Ace of Swords - YES.
Is he really trying to get "ready" emotionally for me?
Six of Wands - YES.
Even without him having contacted you, he is readying himself for you to enter his life is what I feel here. This is such a strong card of victory that it can only mean that indeed you have been in his heart ever since that last date. And so at some level deep down I believe that he senses that you are indeed someone he feels a deep connection with, and so his heart is steering his life into making the right choices to ready himself.
and is he intending on making me wait months and months for him?
Four of Cups - This is one of those sad-sweet love cards. Shows Nick sitting beside s tree and he is lamenting something. I have the view that you are offering your cup from heaven, and he is still in a place of waiting for some reason. It doesn't look like he really wants to wait. I think he is WANTING to connect with you again, something seems to be holding up that. Could it be that God is holding this up until both you and he are ready? Could it be that he doesn't have your phone number?
I hear you on the rough days.... I have my share of those. Some days nothing much makes sense and I honestly become very frustrated with my life. Like I crying out to Heaven, why? is my life seemingly in this place of waiting and wondering.. for what? Allegra? Someone else? Or is it my own life in a holding pattern with Air Traffic Control saying, "Flight 757, please continue to circle the airport for another few months".. arghh! I don't know how much longer my fuel can last! I gues that is the point where I have to reach out to God and depend on faith to see me through! Ugh! I would rather reach out and find Allegra! Or someone! I am not sure about Allegra... you reached out to Nick, what twice in an email. I reached out to her more than that. Didn't hear much from her... and my faith that there is something there to believe in is waning... like the Moon we have now, it is waning... and I look to the Moon.
What do you sense Danibo? Are you feeling anything real there, or is it time to move on? I have placed the entire matter in the Lord's hands. and I am happy with whatever Heaven decides. You art work said it so beautifully, and that is what I will always feel for her, a love from above, and i guess no matter what happens she will always be a gorgeous Star, the brightest point of light I ever saw... so that no matter where she is, or I am, it is a heavenly love as far as I am concerned. This side or the other. I have speculated at times, could we be soul mates? I have been reading up a little on that and it sounds like those kinds of relationships are not always a pleasant trip... there can be some chaos and uncertainty, can be a little volatile for some reason. I wonder.. could you and Nick be soul mates and that is why you feel that connection regardless of no communication with him? What do you think? And, what are you seeing there between the two of us? It is a tough position to be in, when you have such fondness for someone and yet there is the separation... your picture quote summed that up beautifully... i am going to save that and look at it often that is really sweet.
So, I hope you are back in the swing of things with the school week, I am trying to get motivated to get back to doing some painting... I have had a rough go with art over the last year or so, and am still hopeful that it will come back for me.. I don't know, the Tarot seems to be something that I am really enjoying, and yet i still want to get out and capture the beauty of nature in some way in art. Maybe you can see what that future looks like for me... at times I have felt like that door closed and it is time to focus on new endeavors...
Thanks for all of your kind words and your faith is contagious... I want to reconnect with God in some way as I used to be.. maybe without too much religion, only the nice parts... still working on that... and still shopping for a new bible.
here is a little snap for you DaniBo... I took with my phone when the Moon was full a week or so ago. I thought you might like it.. since the moon came up in my comments... I love the moon, she is love and tenderness...
Hello Astra! : )
Thanks for the wonderful comments (and the beautiful picture of the moon! Geez it’s so amazing to look at that!)
Well, Nick does have both my phone number and e-mail (unless he somehow mysteriously lost them.) I know for a fact he at least has to have those two because before he stopped replying to my e-mails, we did have a back and forth conversation (which HE initiated!) and he called me a couple of times on our date when we were trying to find each other. So unless something odd happened, he must still have them! (Although I must admit, I was pretty tempted to but a tracker on my e-mails just to see if he read them…but then I decided that that would only cause more pain to me if he just deleted them! Maybe the next e-mail I’ll do that. But it seems a bit un-ethical to me!) I do plan on sending him an e-mail by the time November rolls around…then it would be three months that I haven’t bothered him at all. At least if he doesn’t answer that one, and I put a tracker on it, I can know for sure if I should just move on, right?
Anyways, this is a tough subject. Are the tarot supposed to be used to test our faith? I did feel a little bad when I was reading your post…but still! Doesn’t Jesus want me to know that I’m not being played here? I’m sure he wants to save at least some of my anxiety. Maybe next time I’ll take my deck with me to church (although I’m not someone who just sits in the pews…I’m an altar girl! Not too sure if you know about that job in the Catholic Church? I like it…even though I may be a bit too old.
I also find lighting candles comforting as well. Maybe we should both go try and do that this week
I’m starting to feel a bit for Nick! I wonder what kind of emotional stress he’s experiencing right now. I wish I could help him out! Haha. And well, we didn’t really talk about religion. At least not on the first date! So I’m not exactly sure what he believes. But I’m praying the good Lord will give him the sign he is looking for sooner than later! I’m just a bit confused about him…I don’t understand his thought process. But whatever! I guess God really does work in mysterious ways. I hope He’s the only reason why this situation is stuck in the mud. BOO! But I do keep seeing things that I think might be a good sign…for some reason, the name Nick keeps popping out at me! Yesterday while I was reading some things on the internet, I saw his name least five times, all having to do with the same subject: love! : ) But I also find it fun to look around on the internet for pictures and quotes that describe what we’re feeling. I love tumblr! You should make one to share your artwork! : )
Anyways, today is anatomy lab day, so I’m going to be stuck at school until 8 or 9….so I will get to your reading probably tomorrow afternoon? I hope that’s good for you. If I brought my cards, I would have totally done it right now…but my professor would probably be looking at me weird. So you want to know about the soul mate thing with Allegra, and your artwork, correct? (by the way, I noticed that you posted some of your art on another thread! Wow! That’s beautiful! My grandfather is a painter as well, so I know how to appreciate good art!)
Let me know if you want me to answer any other questions! I sure would be glad to! (Maybe I’ll share another picture with you too. I find them so helpful!)
Here’s hoping my anatomy lab will distract me from Nick for five minutes….and I sure hope you find the right bible for you! (have you read the entire thing? I’ve never been motivated enough to!)
Okay, well I had to ask about the phone and email thing - just to make sure! Sometimes its the obvious things that we overlook, however it does sound like he has that! So we can't blame the technology I guess. That tracker thing sounds interesting, like a response I guess that he in fact at least read it. Not sire about a "tracker" whatever that is.. that might be an area where our faith could grow, relax and trust that it is all working out even though there is not any sign that it is! Not fun I know! Tell me about it. Still, were I God, and I was trying to bring a man and woman together in a beautiful way, I would be working on their faith first, and their spiritual perception of one another. Then , eventually ..as long as they are still walking by faith!.. I would bring them together physically, and by that point it would probably look like matter and antimatter coming together - BOOM! Something pretty wild!
As far as sending him another email I am sensing still to wait. I guess you can cross that bridge when we get into November. The general advice that seems to be popping up for folks here is to relax and let heaven work everything out. Sometimes we think we have to "do something" to make it work, and that can delay a result. After all, the good Lord is after our faith to grow and so the more we hold off, the more he can work a miracle! I hope and pray that's true !
That is probably what is happening between you and Nick. You two are being nurtured in your respective faith (although I don't know where Nick is at as a religious man, God knoweth!), and learning to sense each other in the spirit part of life. We are all new at this I think, sensing one another's spirual energies. So this could all be some sort of "divine training ground" for a relationship that is founded on something very heavenly and lovely. It is all too easy to fall for someone physically, that part is so strong... to fall in love on a spiritual level is something I think would be so beautiful. Maybe Jesus experienced that with Mary Magdalene.
Imagine the bond, the trust that develops. God must certainly be thrilled over those kinds of relationships! He always seems to be more interested in things we can't see, than the things we see. For we walk by faith and not by sight. Not easy though... especially when you have very fond feelings for someone, that are overpowering at times. I guess that is when you go to church and pray for strength!
I looked at some of the bibles at Barnes and Noble, didn't see one that I wanted to buy. I'll keep looking. I found some little bible app for my phone so that is my bible for now. Psalms and Proverbs, and John.
My feelings at this time is the Tarot when used properly should still deepen our faith, I think the angels use it give us some guidance and inklings of what is going on, with the end result being we still grow in trust. I am honestly still not sure about probing into one another's lives though. I don't mind trying a reading when someone asks me "what is going on with this person?" Lately that seems to shine a light on areas where we can begin to see what they are dealing with so that we can pray more accurately. Trying that approach. At the end of the day, we are all still asked to trust, all we can do really.
I know I do not like to look into someone's life that I am personally have feelings for - I don't want to shake the package before its time to open it! Other people's packages I don't mind shaking though.. ha ha.
Yes on seeing names of loved ones popping up that happens to me a lot. LIke their initials, things like that. Maybe little signs from heaven to keep the faith? I hope!
My art is still a concern, I am itching to get going again with something fun.. was doing portraiture there for a while and thought that was a lot of fun. Did some big ones. Maybe will get back to that, maybe you could poke around with the Tarot and see what a good path for me is there with the art. I am open. I know how to paint trees... did plenty of that outside! The art.. is a challenge right now for some reason... anything you see there is appreciated.
So you are an alter girl, I think that is beautiful. Catholic I am not too familiar with however I respect all that they believe and think its beautiful, i used to go to Greek Orthodox services and loved the use of art and icons... the Catholics seem to have that same reverence for the art which is nice. I never saw too much art in the Baptist churches growing up except a reproduction of Jesus holding some lambs on a poster in Sunday School class.
Hey, have fun with anatomy... I am working on a little hand bound book today... I like bookbinding.
And here is a little card for you DaniBo, to let you know that everything is going nicely for you...
The Six of Cups... very sweet love, sharing, considerate, and some memories too... He remembers you...
Love and faith,
and yes, i love your pictures...
Astra! : )
I apologize for the delay! You’re reading is at the bottom.
Wow….what a rough couple of days it’s been for me. School is really kicking my butt to the extreme! I had to meeting with my academic advisor yesterday to plan classes for the spring, and holy cow did she make me feel as if I’m such a failure! I feel so confused about what I’m doing wrong. I’m getting low C’s in microbiology, and I have an F in anatomy because we’ve only had one test. I’m very worried about where this is headed! I don’t want to have to change schools, or be in school for over 5 years…but I guess all I can do is study more. I’ve decided to spend 4 hours a day (2 on each subject) and see how my grades change. With that said, Nick surely has been pushed to the back of my worries. Although he’s still there, he’s not as controlling (which I guess is a good thing) because school comes first, right? He’s not around anyways so I guess I should just try and stop worrying about him altogether, at least for now.
I’m just a bit concerned about my entire future right now. Am I really going to become a nurse? Is Nick really going to come back? I feel as if the light at the end of the tunnel is dimming rather too quickly! So if you could pull some cards about my academics (or some more on Nick. He’s making me more angry now than sad) I would REALLLYYYY appreciate it. : ) You’re the best!
Anyways, I like what you said about the tarot and the angels. I think it’s nice to have some sort of tool that can be used for clarity when you aren’t too sure what decision or path to take in a situation. I know right now that if it wasn’t for the tarot, Nick would have already been someone who I would only think as a jerk. (maybe he is…I don’t know him all that well!)
Alright, so let’s get to your reading, shall we? You want to know about your art…so let’s ask some basic questions, and maybe some specific ones about what you would be good at painting, or what new techniques you could learn! YAY!
What does art do for Astra? -- NINE OF WANDS; ACE OF CUPS. This is an interesting combination, no? Well to me, I think this is great. The wands represent (well, at least to me) situations or issues that are bothering you. You are that man leaning upon one of the wands, trying to figure out a way to relieve yourself of all the stress and emotions that are whirling around you at this point in your life. You look frustrated, and you look like you want to make yourself feel better. Well, the ace certainly does that! To me, I see that art really is a big part of your personality; you really enjoy it. And what the ace tells us is that the best way to relieve your stress and anxiety is to paint! Painting gives you time where you can not focus on any worries that you may have, and just zone out into the world of watercolors and paintbrushes. In conclusion, art really does have a very positive effect on you: it helps you forget your worries even for just a moment, and reminds you that you CAN have time to just focus on the here and now of the present. This is good! : )
What is blocking Astra from painting? -- FOUR OF SWORDS. Okay, so I’m sensing that you must be this knight praying here. My book says “retreat, solitude hermit’s response, exile.” Well I’m not too sure if you’ve been antisocial recently, although, you have every reason to be! Life is tough right now, and being around people sometimes makes it worse. You appear to be asking for divine intervention to make you feel more upbeat and positive again, but yet, you still have a need to keep to yourself and have time alone to fix all the things that are emotionally compromising you at this moment in time. Obviously, life’s circumstances have gotten in the way of your painting, but now, it seems to me like your emotions and “hermit’s response” to what’s going on in your life is blocking you from getting that creative energy. Maybe it’s time to try and get back out there again, and feel good about life. Who knows? Maybe you’ll see that artistic inspiration the next time you go out into the world and think to yourself “Everything’s going to be okay” Although, that praying probably will help you out a ton!
What muse or central theme could Astra use in his next painting (that’s different from trees!)? – THE LOVERS. Wow! This is a nice card, don’t you think? It has some beautiful artwork on it! So what I’m sensing here is that you should paint something that makes YOU happy, that will brighten you mood every time you see it. This especially has to do with love, so paint someone that you love, something that you love, somewhere that you love, and I’m sure you won’t be challenged any longer! I think it would be good for you to paint something like this. Trees, although have beauty in their own special way, almost don’t have emotion. LOVE is an extreme emotion, and as the other cards showed us above, it seems like emotion is a good and bad thing in your art. It’s blocking you, but it’s also challenging you, and showing you that if you paint about the most intense emotion of all, it might just work out for you. Besides that, I think it would be nice to paint about love, might help you get some emotions out at the same time. And hey…this card also has religious implications….maybe you could paint something religious? Just a thought. Seems as if your faith is really strong right now. Might be a good time to try and paint about that too! : )
I don’t know…I think this whole painting thing is gonna work out wonderfully for you. It’s now more than ever that you can practice your talent. Let me know if you want anymore help!
And here’s another picture…maybe I’ll just start posting one on every reply!
aww! It wouldn't post? Well here's what it said: "Holding onto anything is like holding onto your breath. You will only suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let it go and it will be yours forever...."
Nice thought, huh?
Your words are wonderful. You read me pretty well. Thank you so much for that, very helpful. I have certainly be wanting to get out and paint again. It was about the only thing I ever did where it made me feel happy. I do NOT understand why life has turned the way it did as regards art. It was bizarre, the forces that came out as I kept pursuing it. An analogy might be the "snake keeper" at a zoo.
Let's say you love reptiles, snakes especially. And so you get a volunteer job handling the snakes at a local zoo. At the "poisonous Snakes" exhibit. You love the snakes, love to feed them, give them baths, or whatever snakes need. There's no money in it. However, you don't care. You love the snakes and a part of you tells yourself "hey, just keep working with them and one day I will make a living at it!" Sounds reasonable, right?
So this goes on for a few years. And while you keep working with them, you maintain your dream of one day making a living at it. That is your life dream, to make a living being a snake handler! It is all you think of, and you are willing to work as hard as it takes in order to one day be successful at it! You know, making a living.
One day though, while you are feeding one of the rattlesnakes (that you love) the snake bites you. Ouch! And injects you with a little venom. This has never happened before! You love the snakes and it never occurred to you that the snakes would ever hurt you. Anyway, you are sick for a few days and then recover and go back to work, saying to yourself, "hey, that was a one time occurrence. I still love my snakes, I am still excited about this!"
That same day four of them bite you. In a row. This time, you go into the hospital, and are close to death. Finally after a few weeks of convalescing, you finally recover (although they had to amputate a part of your arm in the process). So the day comes where you can go back to work at the Poisonous Snake Exhibit... only this time, you are a little more hesitant. "Hmm... do I REALLY want to keep doing this? I like snakes and all, however it has not turned out so well. And I sure wasn't planning on actually being hurt in life by the very path I THOUGHT was supposed to be my calling!
So the snake handler ends up in a place where he has to decide - is Snake Handling REALLY what I want to be doing? What will be amputated next? So you end up looking at the snake exhibit from a distance and say, "you know, I think I will put the snake thing on the back burner while I try to decide what I can do with my life that is FUN.. and won't bite.
That is how I look at art at this point. It bit the H3LL out of me, and I practically died trying to chase that thing down, and I am not so sure... running out with a block of watercolor paper and some paints to try again is what I want to do - any more than the snake handler wants to rush right back in to pick up a Ten foot rattlesnake who the last time he held, almost killed him.
That is the thing DaniBo... it is not like I haven't gone back to the art, I have. The challenge is the memories of being bit in the pursuit of it (some very painful results, loss of friends and a few little nasty moments with the ex... ). So while my heart is still open to it, I am very wary now. I still love the snakes, however I am thinking "maybe that isn't exactly my calling."
Do you understand this parable? For verily, verily I say unto you, unless you can be really excited about snake handling - or art - ye will in no wise pursue it. So that's where I am at.
So someone might say, "well then, find another work you enjoy!" And forget the art! Well, that is what I have been searching for. And I have plenty of other paths to choose. Writing, and even some music work.. and lately, Tarot Reading!
Now all of these paths are interesting, and can be rewarding in their own way. Tarot cards are cool. Is it "really" my life path? Hmm.. not so sure about that. I was painting some pretty nice art IMHO. And there were a few sales. Tarot card reading is not exactly the same level of fulfillment as painting nice art work. I like helping people and all, however I am not sure spending a lot of time in a forum helping a 17 years old girl with her boyfriend troubles is exactly what this man was placed on the earth to do.
And the art refuses to let me go. It is like the snake handler (in spite of his better judgment) still goes back to the Zoo and looks at the snakes. And has a heart to do that again. That is the place I am in. I would still LOVE to be doing it again... as long as the &%$# things don't keep biting me!
Passion is the key I think. Whatever I have been passionate about in life I always have done well at. Remove the passion and I won't give it a second look. And passion is connected with PLEASURE as well as a deep satisfaction that says you are in your right path! It is absorbing, it takes your mind off of everything else, most of all though, it is FUN!
So that is kinda where I am at DaniBo. Believe me, I would LOVE to get back to art and lose myself in it, and not think about anything any more except that. It would still be my #1 choice in life to work at. Maybe wear a coat of armor when I handle the snakes perhaps. Ugh. It is a mess. I am having trouble getting back into it with passion again. Thought about designing Tarot Cards, I started a little design for them. Not a lot of real passion there.
The one snake exhibit I was working on when that REALLY BIG SNAKE BIT THE %$#@ OUT OF ME I really LOVED! I would LOVE to get back to that place in my art, I was working with my lady friend I have been telling you about (Allegra). She was the subject matter and I loved painting her as a subject. I have not felt anything even remotely like it ever since. Paintings of trees are not exactly on the same level as painting a gorgeous lady! The possibility of painting her again... now THAT would be inspirational! I could have done that forever I think... the whole concept was amazing and I felt very enthusiastic in it! I loved that path... until I kept getting bit in the process by other forces... ex-spouses, things like that. However my subject is now long gone, so I am looking at trees again... and little duck ponds... I painted a lot of trees and duck ponds DaniBo and it is not exactly the same thing as painting a Goddess. Do you understand? I have worked hard on trying to forget her and move on... she was the last art I did that I was passionate about.
Unless... I could find another lady who would be willing to be my subject again? That would be cool. That has not happened. Maybe you can give me some ideas on how to find someone else to take her place? Then I could pick up where I left off! And find passion again. I believe the snake isn't going to be able to bite me any more in that area, I made some adjustments in my personal life to keep that thing away from me.
Oh! My! I have written way too much about myself.. and you have your own life to contend with.
Nick, well I think he is moving to whatever place he needs to in your mind in order for you to continue to make progress. You feel he is on the back burner then that is where he should be.
The SEVEN of WANDS is a card of some internal struggles, like you are weighing his presence in your life out. You are trying to decide whether or not he should continue to occupy an exalted place in your life.
Temperance - You are working at maintaining a balanced view toward him. You still like the idea of something working out, however the reality of him not contacting you has forced you to keep a balanced view in the matter and keep your focus on your school - or at least not letting daydreams about him affect you so that your school work is impacted.
(An "F"? Well there is an area I can interceded for you in. I will lift you up to Heaven and pray that situation turns around. My kids used to tell me "F is for FINE'. Not sure how true that is.)
And THE SUN - I have been seeing a lot of "sun" signs in my day to day life, so this is a good sign for you Dani bo. The SUN says that while you are working at keeping your balance, and not letting Nick occupy too much of your thought life, that you are due for a beautiful turn of events in your life landing you in a very sunny and bright place! How lovely! I see this as a sign of some soon coming changes that you will love. By keeping the balance... and let's get the grades up a little from that F... then something very youthful and vibrant is sure to come about!
I hope that gives you something to encourage you! I think you are doing a much better job reading that me! I thought this reading you gave me here is very nice - it really encouraged me. I love that Ace of Cups, and all I want is to be in a place where I love what I do... that is all, and maybe a nice relationship somewhere along the way might not be so bad either. ::))
And I like that quote a lot. I want to be letting it flow. And thank you so much for taking the time to read me, and write and share.
I totally understand what your story with the snake is saying...you don't want to rush back into something that you not doubt love, but has caused you some fair share of pain. But you're mainly stuck because Allegra was the last REAL and PASSIONATE thing you've ever painted, and now that she's gone, it's hard to see past that. I totally get it, bro. Once you've experienced such a level on intensity with you art involving someone you care about so much, it's going to be a real challenge trying to overcome that, and find someone or something else that can create that fire of passion to start brewing up inside of you.
Tomorrow I'm going to pull some cards for you again...I'm thinking mainly of asking when you might find another such woman who can fill this void in your life and in your art. She is essential to your being Astra! : ) I promise I will tomorrow.
and don't worry about talking too much about yourself. I am guilty of that as well. Our problems always seem to overwhelm us, don't they? Well I sure don't mind listening to you...I'm sure I've chewed your ear off as well!
As for me, well...school, school, school. Today I went to a charity ball (every girl wore their old prom dresses! haha) Made me kinda realize that college isn't just about academics, but about making lifelong friends and discovering who we really are. I've been thinking a lot about Nick and school, and I feel as if I need an equal balance of both. Without Nick, I think my faith would tank, and without school, I can't seem to see a future for me. I really do miss Nick a lot...last night he was in my dream and it felt so real that I woke up with a big smile on my face. : ) I wonder what he's up to right now, I wonder what he's thinking (hopefully about me!), and I hope that he's out there on the ocean honestly prepping himself for me. the thought of him NOT doing that would really break my heart. I didn't wait around, and invest all this faith and patience into him for nothing, did I? You always have something encouraging to say about Nick. I always wonder why you get good vibes about this, even when it's been months since we've last spoken.
I only have five weeks left in the semester. I really need to push myself to the limit. How do you think my finals are gonna go? haha. I hope they go so well that I might get a call from Nick as a reward for all my hard work!
Let me know if you see anything else about Nick and school. Tomorrow I'll ask the tarot those questions about another lucky lady entering your life...I sure do hope it's soon! You really do need the art juices to start flowing again. It's almost essential!
Happy saturday, Astra!
I hope you've had a wonderful day. I suddenly remembered that I forgot to pull those cards for you today! I will tomorrow, I promise. Let me know if you have any other questions! (I also didn't want to read for you until I asked you one more time if you had generated any other questions over the course of this day).
Anyways, today I made a big decision: I'm dropping anatomy, and becoming a 5-year nursing student. I can't' handle this pressure. I have 8 very demanding classes, and anatomy isn't helping. Besides, the semester is almost over and I'm failing the lecture, so I'm done. Although I'm sad that I won't be seeing that cute guy in laboratory any longer (boo!) I know what's best for me. I'd rather do it over and dedicate the right amount of time to the class that it deserves. I hope I'm making the right decision!
And Nick....oh Lord only knows about him. I'm seriously worried that I'm wasting time as this point. But I can't move on....something's keeping me stuck on him, for some reason. I can't help but wonder if he really is out there on the sea preparing his heart for me (that rhymes!), or if he's just bull crapping me into some hoax that is just a fabricated lie. What do you think, Astra? Do you still see hope here? I still miss him dearly and can't help but send him a little love every time I think of him. He has reappearing acts in my dreams. Wonder what that means?
Besides that, I hope you're having a lovely weekend. I'm getting excited for halloween. I think it's one of the best holidays of the year!
Hey, I took a little break there, I get a little drained feeling at times with the readings and I pull away a little and try to recharge. I should maybe do that more often. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and thoughts, your words really do minister to me, and I can sense heaven in your thoughts. Very lovely.
I wanted to mention that I did get back to church yesterday... it was nice, I didn't have any real religious experience or anything, it was sweet though. I have a real soft spot in my heart for God and Jesus and all that. It felt nice to simply be there by myself, like it was only me and the Lord sitting there together. You have helped my to reconnect there some, and I am very appreciative for that. I sense that your faith is very innocent and that is something I would like to know. Grace is just that, grace and unconditional love. That should be how we all live, I wish it were so for all of us.
Your schooling, well that sounds like a real armload for you I still don't see how you handle all that. You dropped anatomy class, that must have been heaven's will. You will do great still in college I am pulling for you. I am still turning over the possibility of going back to college... as long as I knew WHY I was going! That was my issue when I first wen to college, I was pretty confused and bounced around majors starting in architecture, and finally bounced right out without a degree. So my hat is off to you for pushing forward there and not giving up even though you face some challenges - like Anatomy class!
You mentioned about making friends being a very important aspect of your college - and finding yourself. That sounds wonderful to me. You sound like someone who makes friends easily and can relax with just about anyone. I have struggled to find both. Sometimes I think we have friends and don't know it. I have come to appreciate the people who heaven surrounds us with. I know I had some good friends where I used to work and didn't really know it. I was trying to hard with the art thing, and probably didn't take time to simply enjoy time with them. I think that is great that you have those experiences, and that ball you went to sounds fun! I can see you in a prom dress. Now that would make an interesting work of art ...haha.
And you are thinking about Nick, and that I know is very much a lovely place for you. I don't know DaniBo, I still wish I could go locate that guy and bring him bound and chained to you, and tell him "Hey Nick, this lady REALLY cares about you, what is your problem?" :). I love to see relationships work out, I think that is one reason I love the Tarot readings here so much.. I want to so much to see us all find our love and connections with one another. Since that part has not been easy for me to find, I seem to really like trying to help others.
I still have faith in you and him. I know on the surface it does not look good. Well, let's go beyond the surface shall we? You feel deeply for him and that no one can take from you, and how can you explain that anyway? I can't! I have my feelings in the same way toward Allegra, and until Heaven swoops down and makes it clear that I am simply totally off my rocker or something then I have no choice except to love from where I am. I believe these love energies must be picked up somehow, and still keep us connected. She brought some very beautiful feelings and dreams into my life which I still can't explain. Maybe that was your experience with Nick? Like you are face to face with your "twin flame" and all you can think of is bringing your flames together into one flame. That is how I think of her, and I wish there was some way to bring that to pass. I am at the mercy of God in that. You are in the mercy too, and so what can we do except love and wait I suppose.
Here is a card about him for you... The ACE of WANDS - I have to say that this is a beautiful card of new beginnings, and its funny this card showed up for ScorpVIrgo here and I just gave her a reading a little while ago, and for her the message was "starting a family"! She was facing the possibility of reconnecting with her ex-BF and I did this reading and everything kept coming up that they would reconnect. So Danibo I have no choice except to tell you the same thing, and I don't know how or when or what the way will be that will happen. I only know that when you really love someone and you don't give up, that everything works out. And no matter what has to change to make that happen, happen it will. The little book with this deck says "an excellent omen" and so that is what I see for you... a miracle... something out of the blue... and your feelings for him will be honored one way or the other. Those are the good vibes I get. I think I simply pick up your good vibes!
I say yes, he is preparing his heart for you! Why not! that's how I see it. I can't imagine him "bull crapping" you (that is funny). I never knew how to "bull crap" a girl! Sometimes I wish I did, maybe I would have had better luck with them! ALas, no, I could not do that, I know my feelings are as real as they could be. Nick had better be of the same mind! Or else! And he is reappearing in your dreams, well that can only be a good sign. I would say your feelings are beautiful for him and you are showing a respect for your own heart by not hiding from those feelings.
And thanks for your encouragement in the art. I am trying, trying to regain my bearings on that. I left off with these larger paintings and still have so many "visions" of what I could be painting there again. I want so much to go back to that and pick up where I left off. Looking at some spaces now to rent to work in, maybe that can help. Maybe I could give readings there also. Art and Tarot .. maybe they go together? Buy a painting and get a free reading Also working on a new book I am writing. Danibo, help! Send me some angels or something, I seem to have all of this creative energy and I create and create and it has not exactly "worked out" thus far! I still have faith though... there must be a purpose for all of this.
I hope your weekend was nice! The weather is turing cooler here in Spokane. Ugh, not sure I am ready for snow again. A beach sounds nicer to me. Somewhere hot and fun. Where life works out! (I still think Nick and Allegra must have met up and are having fun without us! No fair!
Love and light, and no anatomy class,
I most definitely think you needed that break! You have too many people asking for you guidance (which can be a blessing in disguise...Shows your level of talent/skill!) So no worries. I'm glad one of us had a relaxing weekend! : )
on that note, I'm super excited that you went to church again! It’s always good just to go for the heck of it. Sometimes I don’t even pay attention to anything that’s going on, I just kinda sit a talk to God in my head. It definitely is a good way to relieve some stress. Sometimes I wonder about my faith…I don’t know if it’s as innocent as you make it sound. But religion is important to me. After all, if we didn’t have religion, what the heck would we all be doing on this planet? I mean…geez! The universe couldn’t have been so cruel as to give us just one measly life in which we suffer, work hard, and reproduce. That’s so lame! I always thought church reminded me that my petty little worries are nothing compared to what other people are going through. It’s definitely a humbling experience for me. I hope it is for you too! (although sometimes the Priest can be a bit annoying!)
Sometimes I wonder why college is so hard…and then I realize “Hellooooo! You’re going to be responsible for someone’s life. Not just anyone can do that!” and I get the reality check I need. : ) I think it would be nice for you to go back to school. I’m not too sure how old you are, but you’re never too old to get a degree! A lot of people in my classes are definitely older than the average 20 year old college student….and they obviously get better grades! Have you been doing research on it?
Yes, I definitely didn’t realize how priceless some friends can be. I’m sure that if we’d ever meet in person (maybe a double date with your darling Allegra and my dear Nick? haha) I’m sure you would be just as personable as you are on this forum! Finding good friends, however, can sometimes be more difficult that initially thought of. I know I only really have two very good friends in my life (with hopefully more on the way!). Is there any way you could reconnect with those good work friends? They do sound like people your really put a lot of faith and trust into!
(and yes…my prom dress. I loved that thing to death. Felt different putting it on again though…not the same magic, even though it hasn’t been too long at all! I’m going to try and put a picture down here. I think my dress was pretty, and so was my date!) Did you go to prom Astra? I found it to be one of the most special nights of my life. (I know…so cliché!)
And I wish I could do the same for you! I wish I could just fly out to wherever she is (where is she?) and knock on her door and be like “Excuse me, miss. There’s a guy out there in Washington who is completely and utterly in love with you. Please just take the time to reach out to him. It would mean the world to him! I mean…he did send you a lovely letter. Don’t you have the courtesy to respond?”
How are you holding up by the way? Any news of a reply since the letter?
Sometimes I wonder what the purpose of love is. Sometimes I think it only causes pain, and sometimes I think it’s the one thing that God gave us to have an earthly experience of how amazing heaven will be, where love is the only thing that matters. It’s definitely a magical thing, love. Too bad it always ends up hurting someone.
I totally agree with you though: there is no way in this entire world that I could stop loving Nick unless I was given a divine rite sign that it was time for me to move on. Obviously, Astra, we are experiencing some true and ever-lasting love! I know that even if we have to move on in the future, there will always still be a piece of our hearts that will eternally belong to them. Although I’m sure it will suck big time, I think that the idea that we will always love them is such a comforting thing. In that sense, I truly believe that a love like that can definitely bring two people together. But I guess time will tell. Thanks for pulling that card. I’m sure at this point we are both wondering “what the heck, God?!?!? Isn’t love enough?” But I guess the time isn’t right. I will continue to pray for Nick to return, as well as for Allegra to finally answer that letter of yours. The suspense is certainly eating us up inside!
(Although I’m not going to lie. Having to drop anatomy means no more cute guy in anatomy lab. I’m totally bummed about that. He was the only person that could keep me distracted from Nick. Now what am I supposed to do? I sure do hope that I’ll see him around. I’m somewhat curious as to what he’s going to say to me once I tell him I’m dropping. I hope he gets a little sad maybe a phone number? Haha)
I could most definitely see you being the illustrator of new tarot deck. That seems to have a great combination of both your love for art, and for tarot. I think it would also benefit you to take some art classes (Maybe a degree in art is in your future?) It would help start to break down those walls between you and art from the past. Just a thought : )
Snow! WOW! I’ve never seen snow, but it sure does sound beautiful (although I always thought shoving snow seemed rather annoying! It’s starting to finally cool down here in Los Angeles. Rained a bit today. Not sure I like it too much…I want to wear a skirt tomorrow! Haha
This picture…man! Wish I could look that nice everday! : )
wow...this picture came out rather big. that's odd!
Hey, I got started on a new painting, wow it was a little weird to be bak at this again, however it feels good. It is a larger panel, like I was doing before things went 'ka-boom' in my personal life. So that is an encouraging sign. I won't mention what the subject is, however it is starting to come close to something I feel passionate about, at least it brings a smile to my face when I think about her.
The church thing, I am glad for that it works for you, I think it is important that we remember where we came from (religious-wise), however it should be pointing us toward something brighter and not always repeating traditions and religious "duties" simply because that is what we are "supposed" to do. You are looking at a guy who has done some serious work in the "bible dept" and it all left me rather empty inside. Ugh. I am hopeful that some aspect of it can be maintained that is real and sweet and from my heart. I have also studied the scriptures enough to see that it has more holes in it that swiss cheese. I am glad that you seem to willing to look past all that. I can't. It is a theological wasteland to me. Maybe I missed the point of that big thick book somewhere along the way. And by the way, WHY are we still toting around some big thick book and building millions on millions of church buildings anyway? When I read the bible it looks like this Jesus dude was trying to get rid of all of that and not create yet more temples and more rules and laws everywhere you look? Ugh Danibo, Ugh. Still, it has historical precedent. We don't want to forget it all. I guess we also don't want to forget we once all believed the earth is flat either. They call that history class. Maybe churches are a kind of history class. Or do we still really believe the earth is actually flat?
School... I don't know about all that. I only wanted to do art from the time I was a boy. You don't need to go to school to do art any more than you need to go to school to learn how to make love. It is something in you, in your heart, and it simply comes out. I think the college thing is absurd for me honestly. I have about as much genuine interest in going there as I have going to a church.
(Oh, by the way - on the church thing, where are all the people? I was in church building that could have seated I'll bet at least 500 people. Huge! There were maybe 25 people there. Where the heck are the people? In college maybe?
You mentioned about friends, and reconnecting with my old work 'chums'. Ugh again DaniBo. Maybe. When I get my courage up. That situation was a nightmare I left under some rather embarrassing circumstances. I am not used to being fired (actually I was was forced to quit, or be fired), and when some of your 'friends' from work are sitting across desk from you serving your walking papers... well not sure I exactly want to call them up for tea and crumpets.
You want to fly out here and double date? Be my guest. maybe I can send Allegra one more email and invite her to LA with me to meet up with you and we can all track down Nick for you, although, you think he is back on the ship now? Heck, I will come down there alone and will help you find this guy! (Come to think of it, I suggested a movie idea like that to asia118x on here, we had a thread going. SHe is very talented aspiring screenwriter so I left her with an idea for a movie that involved tarot reading. Ha ha ha) Maybe you and I can come up with an idea for a movie that involves a prom. Like Carrrie, that is the only prom movie I can think of.
This "true love" that we speak of, I don't know DaniBo. I hope its real. You think its real? Some days I have my doubts. You never hear from someone and you finally conclude that whatever your "feelings" are for them must be meant for someone else... maybe Nick was simply someone you "thought" you loved (a projection), when there is actually someone else coming for you that will actually be a MUCH better match for you. It's possible don't you think? I think that is what we are both dealing with here. Love should work out don't you think? Otherwise you are loving a ghost. Oh my, I hope we aren't both loving ghosts DaniBo! Well, it is almost halloween so maybe that is appropriate.
Love, and light, and paint...
P.S. Here is card for you... "The Singer of Intuition" from the Faery Oracle Deck. I think of intuition, and I think of the Holy Spirit, and following your heart, and something real for a change.
Hey! that's too great I'm so happy that you're finally getting back into the groove! I hope that when your done I can see it somehow. Sounds like a very lovely painting, especially if it involves the lady who owns your heart.
And church....I get you. Sometimes I feel as if I just go because it's a habit that I do every week at the same time. Sometimes I do wonder to myself, "am I really coming because I have a spiritual need?" that's a tough question to answer. I myself have never read the bible. A lot of people tell me I should, but....eh. I think hearing about it at church is enough for me. I think the bible can be sometimes overrated. I mean, it can be considered somewhat of a basis for our beliefs, but I still think that it's too highly thought of. I'd rather just have my own personal relationship with God and forget all those written works. Besides, it's boring, and hard to read without getting distracted! haha.
And....what time did you go to church? that also depends on the amount of people showing up. I always go to Mass super late...like at 12 in the afternoon. Everyone is at that one! (unless there is a football game).
And those work friends...hummmm. How long ago was this? I'm sure that if it's been a while, it would be nice to reconnect, don't you think? Although I totally understand your embarrassment (that seems so harsh for someone to serve you like that!) I'm sure that as time has passed, those friends only remember you as the person you are, and not as the dude who was humiliated in front of his buddies.
I wish it were that simple, Astra! I think we'll just have to help each other out this way. I think it would be pointless for you (and Allegra!) to come trudging down here to drive with me to the port and find Nick on the ship. Geez, I wonder what those two are up to right now....
and I feel as if prom movies have been exhausted far too much. I can't even think of any story line for prom that doesn't involve some cheesy teenage romance! haha
And true love, that's a touchy topic. I myself always find myself doubting that. I think we can fall in love with anyone if we spend enough time with them. I've had that happen in my own life, where I didn't realize until later that I only fell in love with a guy because I saw him everyday, and even though I wasn't attracted to him, I just grew to like him. I feel like love is that way. We always want to be in love, it's the best feeling. So, we try and find people whom we CAN love just so we can...and for no other reason. I don't know...that's just me. I think we can all fall in love twenty million times with anyone as long as they are ever present in our daily or weekly in our lives. What do you think?
I see you've been staying up late. Why? can you not sleep? GO TO BED ASTRA! I couldn't even imagine going to bed as late as you....I think I would fall asleep anywhere and everywhere. How do you manage? I hope your darling Allegra doesn't keep you up at night.
Yesterday was awful for me. I dropped my anatomy classes. But I didn't realize how hard it was going to be, especially my lab. OMG MY LAB CUTIE MADE ME CRY. He didn't do it intentionally, but he was so genuine when he told me he was going to miss me. Maybe I didn't realize how much I actually liked him until yesterday, and now I will hardly see him tear tear But, he DID offer to help me with anatomy still, even though I won't be in the class. That's a good sign, right?
I'd rather like this fool any day over Nick...at least he A) lives in the USA, and B) doesn't work on a cruise ship.
But still..I don't understand where these feelings came from. Astra, what do you think? Will I still see him around? Does he actually want to help me out here? I would LOVE to talk to him privately more often haha. But, he is a flirt. I can never tell if he's sincere with me or not. I really wish he would like me!
Anyways, sorry about venting about Jason....he's making me take a step back and think "does Nick really have my heart? why is Jason taking over?" and he's making me hope and pray that he's interested in me so that maybe, just maybe, I can have something with Jason. I really hope so! any insight you see here is much appreciated.
Let me know if you want me to pull some cards for you. I have more free time now that I don't have anatomy.
I hope your painting goes well, and here's hoping that I'll run into Jason today.
Hey Dani Boo! (hey, its halloween!)
OKay i get you on the church thing. So you have never read the bible? At all? Well, I have read it a lot so I think I made up for the both of us. I haven't read all of it mind you, there are a few chapters in Leviticus I might have skipped over. I used to study it a lot and you are so right, the words can leave you a little hungry for more. I think I got burnt out on the whole thing, and got tired of dragging my kids there by myself, only to have them screaming in the middle of the sermon and I would panic and drag them outside and have a little "come to Jesus" meeting in the car. Ugh. Church is supposed to be fun and heavenly, why should it end up being a torture chamber for kids? And adult? Or a sleep center. When I was in church last sunday there was someone snoring pretty loud during the service... I don't think God would like that, do you? There should be a sign on the way in, no snoring aloud. What time did I go to church? 10:30. It wasn't mass though, it was one of those "other" kinds of churches.
The painting is going well, I think you would like it. We'll see... I have had a few false starts with art over the last year so I hope this one will be different and I can actually finish it. I think this will be something that would actually sell, not like my Twelve hundred paintings I did of dirt roads and weeds.
The work friends, well its been a while a year or so. I am going to let Heaven figure that one out. I have my hands full anyway with readings and such, and making some new friends. Not sure how many stories I want to hear about that past life experience. Ugh danibo!
True love is real to me. I think a lot of people are hurt deeply in life and give up, and jump around from one relationship to another. I think its sad. A lot of people (even on this forum) still want to believe in the real thing. Can you love anyone just by being around them a lot? Well, if that was true I would be in love with every cashier at the local wal mart as my kids are dragging me there practically every day. But I get what You are saying. My theory is that we each do have someone in life that we share a special connection with.. perhaps a soul mate. Some call them a "twin flame". Someone who "gets you" at a very deep level that is transcendent and very heavenly. I think it take some time to understand that that love is, it has been hard for me to embrace that possibility. I thought I shared it with this lady from my past, maybe its someone else. I don't know. I know one thing. I have gone through a lot of pain in my life trying to believe in a really sweet and intimate relationship where two people treat each other properly, with deepest respect and compassion, and not abusive for Heaven's sake.
Well, glad to hear you have more time since you have dropped anatomy class. Hey, if you like, could you do a Celtic Cross for me? Kind of a general reading of every facet of my life? I am curious to see what you come up with. I would love to do the same for you. Only if you have time, or whatever you would like to try? Even three cards, past present and future is cool. I am really getting pressed for time lately... between the tarot and now the painting again... plus I have been doing some cartooning, and plan to share that soon. I think it is something you would get a chuckle from. I liked cartooning when I was a boy... heck, maybe that's my true calling!
Here are some cards for you DB,
Ace of Swords - something is starting up for you it is intellectually centered and makes great use of your wit and wisdom. Also portends of victory in some matter that has been a concern to you.
Nine of Swords - Whatever the situation was, that had you boxed in emotionally, crying your eyes out, is lifting. You will see relief in the matter.
The Chariot - something is about to lift you up and out and carry you away... you will have no control over it, it will be a Heavenly Force kicking in on your life, it will be fun, exhilarating, and about all you can do is hang on.
Four of Pentacles. It will lead to a new material situation for you, financial and a new foundation of some sort. It looks like something you have longed for.
King of Wands - could be connected with a man, who is rather spiritual and a little fiery in his temperament.
Maybe this is Jason? Three of Wands says another, a third.
I hope you got something from that! Leading with the Ace S and also including a Major card and then a Court king says this could be the answer to your prayers for a companion, or eventual close companion even! I am hopeful for you Danibo that you WILL find true love - don't give up! You have sure been patient in your life, you will be rewarded. I do believe that!
Okay, back to my new painting.. and cartoons!
Love and peace,
Wow, I feel as if we haven’t talked in forever (although it’s barely been a complete week). This is completely my fault! This has been a VERY busy week, with a ton of stuff to do. As of today, I think midterms have passed again (although on Monday I have a microbio midterm!) I gave a speech today….not sure it was effective, but I got that A- grade. So YAY! : )
How are you, Astra? What’s new in your life besides tarot and your painting? (hope that’s going well for you). I hope this week has brought you some joy in one way or another. You seem packed with readings….I don’t know how you manage! Haha. I hope Halloween/ Halloween weekend went swell for you! I had some crazy fun with my college friends. Ended up sleeping over in my friend’s dorm for two hours (we got back to her room at 4 AM!) and ended up driving hope at 6 AM Sunday morning to try and make it to church. Too bad I slept in! I could have just stayed there! : )
Besides a crazy Halloween, and some crazy midterms, like is simple. This has definitely been an interesting week in concern to my “emotions” as you call them. I haven’t really been thinking about Nick AT ALL. I wonder what happened?! I don’t know….it’s been how many months now since I’ve last seen him? Maybe this is a good thing.
I also have been thinking about Jason like CRAZY. That’s not good at all! I barely see him anymore…he needs to disappear as well. Love is frustrating.
Can you give me some assistance here, Astra? What’s going on in relation to Nick and I? Has he been thinking about me? Is it time to move on? And what do the cards have to say about Jason as well? Should I forget about him too, or still try and find a way to talk to him? I appreciate the help! My love life has shifted a bit in this week, which is rather odd to me….hummmmm..
Anyways, you asked me for a general Celtic cross reading, correct? Well, here it is! Let me know how I did:
the present – THE EMPEROR & THE ACE OF SWORDS. What a nice combination, right? This is what I was able to find out about the Emperor in this position, “When The Emperor is in the present position, you have the rule of law before you to guide you on your journey. This card is especially strong in the present position as it gives you an absolute confidence to move toward a goal. This can also represent the influence of another person in your life right now. Are you so enamored of a new friend or lover that you have started following the advice and lifestyle habits of him or her? Have you discovered a new hero in the arts whose work has expanded your consciousness to the point that it is hard to relate to people who have not had a similar reaction to this person's artistic output? Is there a new teacher in your life who has changed the way you think? Perhaps a new person at work is transforming the way you approach your on-the-job goals. The theme running through all of these possibilities is that one way of seeing the world is coming to dominate the way you experience life.” That sounds so wonderful, Astra! Something is definitely turning around for the better, whatever it is. You’ve got the reins in your hands, now it’s time to take that control and direct this situation where you want it to! I think the Ace of Swords just adds even more reinforcement that right now, things either are, or will be going in your favor very soon! I also found this about the Ace in the first position, “n the present position, you are clarifying an absolute in your life under which you have been serving. Perhaps you sought a Tarot reading specifically to find a better way to describe what is going on in your life. The Ace of Swords is especially empowering in this position because you are able to confront vagaries and inaccuracies in your life that are not adding up. The Ace of Swords gives you the strength to confront situations that do not mesh with your understanding of things and the presence of mind to articulate your position.” Again, seriously think this just adds that little something to show you that WOW ASTRA! Things are definitely looking up VERY SOON! That’s something you should smile about! : )
The Challenge – THE EMPERESS. DUDE OMG! This is so ironic. At least, I see it that way. Maybe you’re the emperor, and the woman you’re interested in is the empress? I don’t know, that’s just a thought. From what I’ve read, apparently if this card is paired up with the emperor in this reading, all the future cards are supposed to all relate to our favorite topic: LOVE! Bingo! So this card definitely has to represent a maiden who has captured your heart. Is it Allegra, or have you found someone new, Astra? Here’s some other information to consider, “In a Tarot reading, the upright Empress card signifies good fortune. The Empress is indicative of all things creative, so you can count on your own creative endeavors being successful. Your hard work will pay off both spiritually and materially. You will be able to anticipate spiritual and material abundance through the efforts of your labor. The Empress also indicates a birth or marriage and can represent a satisfying sexual relationship. She encourages you to tap into your feminine power. Know that much can be achieved through nurturing and generosity. If you find yourself surrounded by difficult people, the best approach is diplomacy. If there are issues related to health, the Empress represents healing.” Well, you’re painting has definitely been a challenge for you recently. So it’s nice to hear that it’ll be turning around for you (unless it already has!) And again, we hear about love working in your favor. So, what’s the challenge here, then? Well, I think it’s still your painting, but this also has to do with a woman that you desire. Is she really challenging you in any way? Elaborate on this. There’s a big part of this having to do with love. And difficult people? Hummm well you are going through a rough time with your divorce, right? That difficult person must be related to your ex-wife, and this whole process. Now you know that in that challenge you should remain like a diplomat. Good. : )
The past - THE MAGICIAN & THE LOVERS. I think this is an interesting pair for the past, don’t you? Here’s what I found about the magician in this position, “In the past position, The Magician underscores a surge of displaying your talents and getting far in the world based on accomplishments. Perhaps you are resting comfortably on a foundation established during that time. Or you may miss the days when you could seemingly put it all together with a snap of your fingers.” Humm…I’m not too sure if this is true in your case. Have you “rested” on a foundation that you’ve created in the past recently? Maybe this makes more sense to you than it does to me. And the lovers, well, this is what I found, “When The Lovers card lands in the past position, the foundation of your current situation can be found in a love relationship. If you are very young, this could be your parents. Usually it represents a past love or for long-married couples, a confirmation that the union is a definition of your identity.” Okay, so this makes a little more sense, now doesn’t it? We somewhat already established early on that form the empress card, the rest of the reading was going to go along the theme of love, and here it is yet again. Love is occupying your mind at the moment. Besides your painting and other worries, seems to me like someone is really got you tied up here! The line that really said something to me was “it represents a past love, a confirmation that the union is a definition of your identity.” Well, I don’t know about you, but I automatically think about your dear Allegra. She was in your past, and she really is a big part of you, even still today. This card just reinforces the idea that she was, and still is, a big part of your life, wherever she may be!
The future - NINE OF WANDS, EIGHT OF SWORDS, TWO OF SWORDS, THE FOOL . Uh oh, Astra! There are murky waters ahead for sure. The nine of wands says, “When this card is in the future position, prepare now for the current turmoil to turn into a struggle. If things are peaceful now, gather strength for the battle that may begin soon. Plan now on how to diffuse tension so that a coming disagreement does not turn into a protracted fight. The battles that we win most decidedly are the ones that we anticipate and actually manage to avoid.” Okay, so that definitely forewarns you that you need to start prepping yourself for whatever hardship is ahead. (GEEZ! As if you hadn’t been through enough lately, now more crap is building up!). The eight of swords says, “This card is a strong warning when it appears in the future position. The Eight of Swords indicates stagnation, a loss of passion, apathy and an otherwise general malaise concerning your enthusiasm for the things you enjoy. When it is in the future position, consider that you may be on a path that leads to disappointment, perhaps even one that traps you into a life of casual comfort from which you lose all hope escaping because the lack of stimulation has left you with no imagination.” Okay, another sign here. Wonder what’s leading you down this path of “disappointment” as they put it? Hummm….AH WAIT! THERE IS STILL GOOD NEWS! My book says that in the future position, the two of swords, “If the Two of Swords is in the future position of your reading, consider this a blessing from the Tarot. This puts control of your future squarely in your own hands. This indicates a developing ability to rise up against manipulative people, users and others who want to tell you what to do. You will be firm in keeping your own affairs under your absolute control even if it means adopting a standoffish demeanor. All of the stubbornness and fear from this card disappear when you know the Two of Swords is on its way – allowing you the power to keep your cool and maintain control.” YAY Astra! You go and take control of this situation! And hey, it gets even better. The fool obviously brings good news, especially about love, “In the future position, The Fool most likely represents you enjoying a new life. It can also represent a coming love interest who is not ordinary by any of your measurements.” Okay, see, there is good in every bad situation. You will find someone special soon, Astra. And from what the fool is telling us, she will be such a great addition into your life.
What’s above you – THE ACE OF CUPS. This a great card in this position, don’t you agree? It’s obvious that you have a great sense of spirituality, and are working towards going that in a positive way. This is your goal, something that you deeply want to achieve. My book also adds that this card is “the house of a true heart, joy, content, abode, holy table, nourishment, and extreme happiness.” What a great bunch of words to be put together to sum up this card. You sure are a positive person, Astra. Wish I could be like you.
What’s below you – THE FOUR OF PENTACLES. So, supposedly, this card is supposed to represent your unconscious thoughts. But hey, guess what my book says? “For a bachelor, pleasant news from a lady” awww yay! Great! So your unconscious is truly craving that companion. Hopefully you’ll get her soon enough.
Advice – JUDGEMENT. Okay, so this is supposed to be a recommendation for your current situation. To me, this card says “everything is going to work out, so stop worrying! The time will come!” and I think you sense the same thing about this card. My book says this card represents a renewal of self, or renewal of a situation that needs a fresh new perspective or change. This is a great card, Astra. I think you know what your advice is. Just chill out bro, everything will be fine as long as you keep the faith and wait patiently for whatever your heart’s desire is. I find it so ironic how you already preach this, and yet the tarot is reinforcing your ideas. That’s great!
External influences – FIVE OF CUPS. Well, we already know one meaning already: nostalgia. Have you been looking back on your life recently, and really thinking about those really special moments or times in your life where you wish you could go back? I could see that happening, especially when you think of Allegra. My book says “thoughts of the past, or times that have vanished long ago” okay, that that reinforces that idea. But, how does this relate to your external influences? Well I read that this position is supposed to refer to “people, energies, or events which will effect the outcome of the question that are beyond the querent’s control.” Okay, so, maybe someone or some energy from the past is returning back into your life? This card also depicts to me a sense of innocent love. So, hopefully this is a sign that someone you loved from the past will be returning. Hopefully it’s someone you desire deeply!
Hopes/fears – QUEEN OF PENTACLES. Well, obviously this woman in this picture is someone you want in your life! She definitely represents greatness, intelligence, and generosity. This woman is your queen, and you hope will of all of your heart and soul that she comes into your life in the way you want her to. This is a good sign, at least that’s how I see it. You can decide for yourself what this card personally means to you, but I see you hoping and praying for this girl to come back or appear in your life.
Outcome – KING OF SWORDS, STRENGTH. The king says to me that you are very intelligent, and really believe in justice and law. However, in the outcome position, I’m sensing that the end result of your situation is going to leave you in the control position, while you keep calm, and have authority about how the situation unfolds ultimately. I find this a good sign. I mean, who doesn’t want to be in control of their own future? The strength card obviously says that you will have strength, power, energy, and courage in this situation, which also is a good thing. Whatever is going on in your life right now is wearing you out. You need a break, and thank goodness that the king and strength are going to get you through with still a bit of energy left in you at the end.
Wowzers! I think I put too much information here…especially in the beginning. Hopefully I haven’t lost you to this point. Let me know how I did. Like I said, let me know about anything that’s happened within this past week. It’s been super long, that’s all I’ve got to say!
Let me know if you have time to pull some cards about Jason and Nick. It’s much appreciated.
I’m glad that I got to do this reading for you! Have a lovely evening, and wonderful Friday!
I am just wanted (real quick like) to thank you for taking the time for your reading for me, I will review that more this afternoon between painting. You are a real blessing. And I will look at some cards for you on your questions also...
Hey, I did a little sketch of you from that pic you posted. I hope you like it, probably not the greatest work of art ever done, it is from my heart though. I am making good progress on the one painting i am working on.
I will be in touch,
love and much light to you.