I'm so glad that you're going to mail that letter tomorrow. I will definitely be there with you in spirit to guide you through it! this is a great decision on your part, don't second guess it even for a minute!
Thanks for the cards. If I may ask, how soon do you think I might receive a message from Nick? within the next week? I sure do hope so! I'm really having an emotional flux right now. I go from "ahhhh Nick. I love him. Can't wait to see him!" to "ugh Dani, he's never going to call you again!" I really hope this stage passes quickly. I can't handle this instability right now!
Let me know if you want any more cards. you should be so proud of yourself for doing this. I'm sure the outcome will only reap rewards on your part. You will definitely be in my thoughts tomorrow.
Well I don’t know about you, but I had one rough night! I couldn’t sleep at all! My mind was just running on thoughts of Nick, and now I’m sitting waiting for class to start and I can’t focus at all.
I got up this morning, and I just feel so defeated…like I’m about to burst into tears at any moment. Is this supposed to be happening?
I sure hope Allegra doesn’t do this to you, and if she does, well I hope you’re dealing with it better than I am right now!
At what time do you plan to send your letter? That way, I can pray for you specifically at that time! I hope your still going to go through with it. This is such a great thing for you, Astra! : ) Let me know if there’s any other way I can help out.
Okay…I promise I’ll stop bugging you! I know you’re swamped with readings right now, so could you maybe answer this one question for me: When do you think he might possibly contact me? I really hope it’s within this week, because I sure as heck don’t know how much longer I can put up with all this unnecessary stress! This really sucks.
Let me know what you can find out in concerns to Nick. I’m going insane.
I hope Allegra receives your letter rather quickly. I will definitely be looking out for you today. Good luck! : ) Let me know if I can do anything for you!
Dani Bo : )
Well, I mailed her letter! Yippee! I went to the post office a while ago and sent it on its little way. I felt your spirit near somehow helping me through that, thanks so much! One of those life-chaging moments. I hope she likes it, or at least can hear my heart in it, wishing her the best. I was kind of bummed out though, the post office was closed! It is Columbus day! Forgot about that one, I dropped it in the outgoing mail anyway. I didn't want that letter laying around, I sure didn't want to risk changing my mind about this! I really, really, really hope she gets it soon - and who knows, maybe she will contact me? I sure hope so! I would love to see her or at least hear from her - the same way you want to see Nicholas. Do you think that is his full name, Nicholas? Or maybe they spell it different where he is from.
I hear you on the wave of emotions. Yeah, been there many times. Tears can be healthy too DaniBo, you feel like crying over him, go ahead and cry. That is your heart really feeling the love of heaven somehow, and I know all of the angels above want all of us to find our sweet and beautiful places in one another's arms. It can be painful, longing like that and feeling your tears running down your cheeks. You know what? That is real life. That is being honest about how you feel, and how wonderful is that to know you are in an authentic place with your feelings.
You asked >>>
how soon do you think I might receive a message from Nick? within the next week? I sure do hope so!
and I just drew the ten of wands (this is from the nice Fairy deck!), the little book says "problems solved soon, new experiments, realization.... a positive renewal..." and I also drew the Fool and the Six of Swords. ALl of these are quick energies, wands and swords are the fastest time wise, folowed by the slower cups and pentacles. So I still say very soon! When exactly? I wish I was good enough at the Tarot to nail down a time question like that! All I know is to remain expectant. You certainly have my wish energy working on your behalf too.. i want to see this happen!!!
I know its hard for you, this has not been an easy romance. You knew there was something real there with him, and you have done exactly as you should have to let him know you are very, very interested. You were respectful of his life and have been so patient. Hey, you know.. now that we know he is here now, (it looked like he was in the area from that last reading or so...) you might go ahead and send him another email. What do you think? I mean, you have exercised some great restraint so far, and now that he so close, you could reach out to him one more time and let him know you would still love to see him. I guess that can be hard for a female... you don't want it to look like you have been chasing him! However, you really haven't. You have chased him a little and then you went "poof!" no more emails. He is probably really wondering about you by now. Could be the perfect time for a little "Hey Nick, how are you, would you like to get together for something nice, tea, coffee..."
Invite him to meet you at Milk, over on Beverly.. I looked that up and it sounds very cool. I geat place for two who haven't seen each other in quite a while... it is just a thought DaniBo... you have school and all, I don't know how you manage to keep up with that and all of this romance too.
And it is NOT insanity, what you are dealing with. My guess? True love. Something from a higher place that turns your world upside down... that could be it. That is what I have felt. You are feeling... passion ....desire! I know it isnt easy, with Nick not there. You keep your hope strong.
Knight of Pentacles. A love for you, riding your way, manifestation. From dreams... into reality.
YAY I'M SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU! Even though it's technically a holiday, so what? that letter is going to be on the way in no time. And, well, how could she possibly NOT contact you after she reads your beautiful letter? The tarot is totally giving green-lights here, so be excited! YAY ASTRA YAY!
and hummm.....he did say it was his nickname. Wish he told me what it was! haha
and ugh Astra. I already know what I'm going to do once classes are over at 4....go home, get some ice cream, watch the titanic (that movie somehow reminds me of him!) and just cry my eyes out. I guess that's the only solution to this problem at the moment.
and well, I was considering sending him an e-mail, but he didn't even bother to answer the last two! How can I know that he's not going to blow this one off either?
Do you think he wants me to send this e-mail? would he even respond to it?
He frustrates me. I don't understand his logic at all. Him not responding to my e-mails says "I don't like you"!!!!! I don't understand the male brain, Astra!
I just...ugh. I'm wondering what I'm going to do if I send this e-mail, and he ignores it. what then? I guess I'll just have to somehow move on with my life. This is too complicated. I'm seriously considering just asking him to meet up with me just so he can let me down the properly, you know?
BOO for love.
Hey how was Titanica? That is an amazing movie. A lovely story, and can you believe that ship? They actually built that thing pretty close to actual size. impressive. The scene in the car was fun.
I finished watching Species yeterday (the first one), and it is an amazing film. I am not sure it is up there with Titanic (I don't think Species won any Academy awards) however I still think it was one of Hollywoods best films. Have you seen it? They grow this alien-human hybrid somehow some genetic coding from a space transmission... and she gets loose! And she is on this rampage. All she wants to do is mate with a human male and have a baby. At one point in the movie they say that she could have thousands of babies! Can you imagine how many packs of pampers that would be in Walmart when the mom is buying for a thousand babies back home?
I have the box set of all three of the Species movies. Nest up is the second one. Not sure how she is able to come back in the second movie, the end of the first one her head was blown off. These aliens always seem to figure that out. Ice cream does sound good though... I had a turkey hot dog.
As for the email to Nick, you are right, it is a possibility that he wouldn't respond to that one either. And then you would have THREE emails without a reply to ponder over. Hmm. Maybe we don't want to go there. He should be the one sending emails to YOU not the other way around. So you are doing the right thing and being patient.
I can imagine though that you are nearing the end of your patience. Like, okay, he hasn't called and I have had enough! I don't blame you. I have felt that way a lot too. At some point you do finally say forget it and move on. When that point occurs is different for different people. Some folks don't get a response back in 24 hours and they are done. Some are willing to hang in there. Some will wait forever, when they are convinced that they have found "the one". Maybe Nick strikes that chord in you and you are like, i am willing to wait a little longert than usual. Or pray longer than usual.
I'm seriously considering just asking him to meet up with me just so he can let me down the properly, you know?
relationships are a funny thing DaniBo. SOmetimes they can be a little one-sided, like are giving more and the other is taking (or plain ignoring you). And so at some point you can become a little drained... and that is when you find out, is this for real, my feelings, and all of the struggle of holding out hope? It is really a journey of self-discovery.
Okay Species 2 is up next. Lets see who the alien female finds to breed with next!
I hope your day goes well... and your classes. I sometime think about getting back into college and getting a degree... like psychology or something. I started out to be an architect and that didn't go anywhere. I don't think it was really in my heart. I hope your studies are something that really turn you on. That is so important. I always am fascinated at what makes people tick, and act the way we all do. Relationships especially. That is a field that could use some fresh thinking for sure. WHat little counseling type stuff I have ever requested never seemed to amount to much. I think the counselors should all be using Tarot cards. Maybe I can get a degree in Tarot reading. Bachelor of arts. Or maybe that would be a science. not sure.
I am excited about my letter to Allegra. I wonder what she will think when she reads it? Maybe she will receive it tomorrow, since yesterday was a holdiday. ANd tomorrow is a full moon, that would be cool... i like it when things work out that way. Gives me the feeling that maybe the universe is involved... I hope. What do you think?
Here is a card for you for the day... Knight of Wands - "You're likely to meet this knight at parties. Impetuous and flirtatious, he feigns boredom in challenging situations and runs away from anything too demanding. Sometimes he denotes an immature older man who can be destructive as he struggles with his fear of commitment. Beware."
Uh oh DaniBo. Watch out! Are there any older guys in your anatomy class?
I will keep the situation with Nick in my prayers and I know something will still come about there. Keep the faith!
Hey Astra! : )
I’ve typed this message like five times…but the wifi at my school sucks!!
Anyways, I couldn’t watch it. I got a last minute psych assignment from my professor. But I probably will this weekend. Mid-semester break!
And ekkkkk that sex-crazed alien sounds too creepy! But somehow interesting. Haha.
Nick is really sucking the life out of me right now. I don’t get it! I wish he would have just man-ed up and told me to go away so I wouldn’t be in this predicament. I’m about to send him an e-mail (I’ll post it below so you an review it) I just don’t understand why God has never given me an opportunity to really have something with a guy…and I’m having a hard time thinking about life with Nick not in my heart. BOO ASTRA! But sometimes I think that he’s ignoring me because I haven’t expressed enough interest in him, or that he just got back to Los Angeles so he needs to settle back in. BUT STILL! :’(
My sister’s BF is actually BFF’s with a psychic, so I’m going to see him within this week. I hope he can clear some of the questions I have…I need some answers already!
How cool would a tarot school be? Haha google it!
And hey! Yayyyy! Haha what shipping did you select? I’m sure she’ll be delighted to see your name on that envelope. The full moon with definitely help you out too. I got my fingers crossed! Keep that positive attitude
And what old guy? Haaha everyone in my class is young, and the TA is like 24. Not old! Hum……well I do have a reputation for liking older guys. Kids my age are too much of a hand-full for me!
I hope your day goes well. I will keep you in my prayers.
As for me, well I hope lab lifts my spirits. Screw Nick…I wish I could be like those other girls and just not care at all.
Let me know what you think of the e-mail!
Remember me? It’s been a while since we’ve last spoken!
Anyways, I’m not too sure what you’ve been up to lately, but if you’re interested, I would like to meet up with you. Let me know when you have free time.
I hope everything’s going great for you. Hopefully we’ll see each other soon. Feel free to e-mail or call me. Whatever you want.
-- Daniela. “
Will it catch his interest? Haaha
Hello dear Astra,
I feel like we haven't spoken in ages, and yet, it's only been like day or two. But I thought you you and your dear Allegra and I wanted to know: do you have any news about if she received your letter? I'm very curious to see if you have any advancements. I sure hope you do!
Anyways, today I finally finished up all my midterms, and now I have a four day weekend! yay! so if you want any readings or anything, I'm free! ;D I will probably do one for you soon about this whole letter thing. I even wanna check if she already read it. haha.
Hopefully you'll think my pre-email is okay. I'm still not too sure if i'm going to send it yet. I'm actually seeing the psychic man on friday, so i'll see what he says. Nick has been in my mind, but not for the past 24 hrs due to microbiology midterm! I'm planning on giving him till next week (so he'll have the weekend maybe to call or whatever) before i send the email. what do you think? I'm curious to see if your vibes have changed about this situation. i don't know what to do! let me know if you see anything here....
but yeah. I hope you're having a wonderful day! please let me know what's up with Allegra! you and her have definitely been in my thoughts!
and let me know if you sense anything about Nick. I really appreciate it.
Hope up in Washington it's not too hot! down here in Los Angeles it's 103!!!!! beautiful weather, but geez i wish I had an air conditioner!
Thanks for your asking. I guess time will tell on that letter. I guess it was something I had to say and I am glad I said it. Does it matter to her? I have no way of knowing. I hope so, however she has her own life to live, and I have mine. I am sure I will always have a soft spot for her regardless, she was a wonderful friend when things were good, and I will always wish her well when I think of her. She will always be a Queen to me (Queen of Swords). What the heck, maybe I'll send her another letter! I also have these cartoons that I thought were pretty funny. They keep growing.
Good for you on the midterms! I hope you did well. You must be worn out on that.
The Queen of Cups says that you should expect good results! i hope so!.
That is cool that you are seeing a psychic on Friday! I am sure you will hear some good things there. You are fortunate that you know someone like that. I am kinda searching around for someone that I can talk to. My life tends to be a little bit alone, so at least a close friend would be nice. I am working on that. Do you have close friends that you are able to confide in about your life? You are blessed if you do.
My day was wonderful. Mostly doing readings and some writing, nothing real exciting.
I am still wishing for you and nick to still somehow get together. I don't give up easy. You deserve someone special DaniBo. You are so open to the real thing, I know that the Universe will bring that to you one day.
Today was mild, typical fall weather, windy at times, clouds off and on. I am surprised that CA still has temps that hot however you are further south! (I recently moved to Reno for a spell, thinking that since it was further south than here, it would be warmer. Wrong. It is higher in elevation! Oh well so about as cold as here in fall/winter. Next time maybe I'll try a trip to CA.
Here's another card for you.... the Knight of Swords.
I keep seeing that card lately! For you, it means someone loves you! and is after you :). I hope it's Nick. Or that guy in anatomy class! or the other guys... I'm sure you have many.;)
You are really kind Danibo... Page (princess) of Wands .. you ARE a princess and a very sweet person. You have a beautiful life ahead of you! Once you get those classes behind you
Should you like to offer a reading for me on anything, that is cool. I don't have any questions. I am at a point where maybe the less I know the better ...ha ha.
Peace and love to you.
So I got up this morning, and I was thinking “I wanna do a reading for Astra!!!” so I hope you like it : ) I wanna ask some questions about this letter and Allegra, because I’m sure by now that she’s received it, as well as read it! Let’s see what the tarot has to say!
1. What did Allegra think about your letter? – SIX OF PENTACLES. This is what the internet says, “Upright Six of Pentacles talks of fairness. Yet for love and relationship situations, it consists of two different meanings. The first one is completely attached to the term, fairness. In details, the health of the relationship is doing extremely good because it is built on mutual understanding, love and security. Why? Because the number six attached to this pentacle card is now in powerful form. If you are unsure of how this plays out then it is important for you to know that this is the number which according to the theory of numerology is connected to fairness, tenderness and beauty. Moreover, it is governed by the planet Venus which deals with not only security, but also love and romance. Another symbol that the card holds is the scale which also emphasizes things being on the same page!” This can only mean great things, Astra! She must have been both surprised and very overjoyed that she received this letter from you, as well as very happy as to whatever you had to say to her. I think this is great, because at least now we have a sense of what she’s thinking about. However, the scale in this picture somewhat makes me think that she’s literally weighing her options. I feel as if she cares about you, but she seems hesitant and nervous to start something up again. Maybe another letter would be the push in the right direction?
2. Would sending her another letter be a good thing? – NINE OF WANDS. Well, I interpret this card as a NO, however it’s up to you. After seeing this card, I don’t think that now would be the most appropriate time to send her another letter. I think this card is telling us that she has been hurt by something….maybe someone else in her life, and she’s currently kind of shying away from the world and those around her. I’m sensing that although she thinks fondly of you, and is pondering how to go about this situation, she also wants to go into solidarity so that she may think about you, but also how to get past this emotional hurdle that is blocking her from actually pursuing you. Does that make sense? The guy in this picture looks defeated, and hurt. I think she needs to deal with her own issues before she can deal with this one, Astra. Maybe you should wait till you send another letter, so that way, she will be more than ready to reply and hear what you have to say. Although she is happy with the letter, she needs time to heal from whatever is causing her pain at the current moment.
3. What is she feeling for Astra now that she’s received the letter? – NINE OF PENTACLES; TEN OF CUPS. This sounds like a good combination to me, Astra! We both know that the ten of cups can almost be a foreshadowing of the future. She obviously wants this to be you and her in the end! However, the nine of pentacles I sense is how she views herself at the moment. This is what the internet has to say, “Nine of Pentacles shows a woman with a bird in a garden that does not only have fruits, but also coins. She also seems to have dressed up really well. All this implies that she has everything she could ever ask for. In other words, she has money, foods, luxury and secure environment. Yet she is missing one thing in her life which is love.” So it is evident here that she feels alone, with no one to be by her side! If only you could be there right at this moment, Astra! She wants love more than anything else she has in this world, and she just can’t seem to find it…..and although she’s dreaming and dreaming of you and the future (ten of cups!) she’s not sure if the letter you sent her is a good indicator that it will work out for you too. But little does she know that her dream will come true!
She loves you just as much as you love her, but although she loved your letter, and feels so strongly for you, she has to deal with her own current issues before she can reach out to you. Her sense of loneliness and pain needs to pass before you two can even start. That is what I see in this reading. Let me know if you want any other questions to be answered!
This can only be taken as great news Astra. As long as you are patient and loving, this can only work out for the best.
If you don’t mind, I have a couple questions! I know…I’m going to the psychic tomorrow (which I’m freaking out about…they have such a strong spiritual presence that it intimidating!)
I just want a general card to see what Nick is thinking about me, and this situation….I’m curious to see what might have changed.
Does he know I’m still very much interested?
Might he contact me this weekend-ish? Or should I just go ahead and send him an e-mail asking him to hang out with me?
Thanks Astra, I really appreciate it. I hope you have a wonderfully fun day! : )
Hey thanks once again for your awesome reading, that really, really blessed me. I was a little concerned about it yesterday, like, was it really appropriate, that sort of thing. It sounds to me based on what you see that she liked it. Its funny that you mentioned another letter, the thought occurred to me! Your insight there is nice, I should hold off and let Heaven open up another door in the divine right timing. It was fun writing though, and that all came about from you writing Nick, how cool was that! I love how life arranges these little influences and some guidance at the perfect time, I mean that was totally unexpected for me! Once I was actually writing it I was like, "wow, I should have done this sooner! :)" So, yay DaniBo, you must have a sixth sense or something about these things!
I want to touch on your questions about Nick... I am sure you are about climbing the walls by now wondering about him reaching out to you. I have to say, I would be starting to waver in my faith toward him, were I in your shoes. You have waited quite a while now with nothing to go on, except your own feelings for him. There is really no precedent to keep believing based on popular thought, you know. Anyone would say "move on", forget him and so on. You are like me though, those feelings, they don't go away, and what do you do about that? Are they real? Is it only a one way street? I know that when you met him on spent some time with him, you must have sensed how he felt about you. It seems to me that there has to be connections both ways, otherwise we wouldn't feel something, right? Oh my, love can be a rather puzzling prospect! Okay, enough of my pondering... I do enough of that for both of us combined. I'll let you know when I come up with any flashes of insight! :0
Six of Pentacles - No way! That is the same first card you drew on my reading, wow what is going on here> ? That is pretty wild... and it is a little past a full moon, maybe that is having an influence. How nice. At the moment I am using this Mystic Dreamer Tarot, a very lovely deck, the book with it is called "THe Dreamer's Journal".. so let's see what it says about Nick, and what he is thinking...
"This card deals with giving and receiving.... if you have a need, that need will be met by gift, donation or through some unexpected source. If you are seeking aid... this card is a favorable omen." Hey I took a snap of it to show you the illustration, it is really beautiful! I tell you what I see DaniBo, there are only these three sweet young ladies in this art, looking to each other. The thought that came to me, was you were all he was thinking of, like he would see someone else, and think of you that sort of thing. I get that very strong with this card. The setting is in an open building, very mysterious, with the roof open to the night sky and there are stars above. One of the ladies wears a heart shaped necklace. I see this as a nice sign that he has thoughts of love toward you, and when he looks up at the night sky he thinks of you. The "situation" is one of deep caring and reflection of you.
Does he know I’m still very much interested? Two of Cups! Yes, this card is so lovely for you, and to this question it is as strong a "yes"! as you could get! I receive only very positive vibes! This card shows a young, handsome couple and they are drinking out of their cups with their arms intertwined. There are trees in the background, and this huge full moon rising in the background... and a lake... they are very wrapped up in each other. The setting seems to have been made for them. The moon shines down approvingly. So to me this says he is certainly aware. The book for this says "Standing in a lush vibrant landscape, a couple gaze into each other's eyes as they toast each other and their relationship. This is a happy picture of a loving relationship. Above them floats a caduceus (kind of a golden winged emblem of some sort!), indicating that together they form something stronger than the sum of their individual selves. This card promises a strong and passionate relationship. Such a relationship brings beauty and power to life." I think that is a Yes to your question!
Might he contact me this weekend-ish?
King of Wands - "This man has charmed a lion and lioness, who are content just to be in his presence. A light burns at the top of his throne, for he is always filled with ideas and energy. Although he is sitting now, he is only waiting for the next oportunity for action." The feeling I am getting here is that this is a strong potential, and I would say yes. Matter of fact while driving around the last couple of days, I have seen some signs around that seemed to say something about WKD or weekend. So this is looking good DaniBo. I would keep your finger crossed. And dig out the Two of Cups from your deck and keep that around where you can glance at it once in a while. This King is a wand and wands are looking to take action and opportunity.
Or should I just go ahead and send him an e-mail asking him to hang out with me?
Ace of Wands! Hey that is so wonderful, another wand, so lovely... hey I say this is another Yes, and maybe you do reach out to him, and then he contacts you back ... anyway, an Ace is always a strong yes to me, how about you? What is your heart telling you? That is what you should follow. I am guessing that heaven is giving you the green light should you choose to contact him, at least that is what I see. I know that can be tough though.... he has ignored you and you are probably thinking, should I keep doing that? Reaching out with no response? (I had a lot of questions like that with Allegra and still do... not an easy answer there... all you can do is follow what you feel is right, and when the energies are strong and seem to be supporting you, you go ahead and take a chance and go for it! You will do the right thing, and whatever you decide will be right!
Your situation is reflecting mine.... like the lake in that lake in the two of cups... we are both at the mercy of the Universe no matter what we decide. The beautiful news is that we can trust that it will always ultimately work out when our hearts want what is best, and we can relax in that knowledge... sometimes waiting is right... and then sometimes taking action is warranted... don't you love decisions> ??
I am so excited for you, and I think we are both entering some nice, new energies in our respective "relationships" although I am not sure that I can exactly call my situation with Allegra a relationship... like you I am sailing under pure faith for the most part... trying to do the right thing while not turning away from my own, authentic feelings. You are doing the same I know. I see that as a very noble path DaniBo. You know what I say? That you and I are of a new breed, willing to follow love regardless, in spite of the prevailing winds that would say we are fools. You have to be a fool though! That is the whole point of love, it often is something very painful! Love hurts... as you are chasing... wondering... taking chances.... alone at night and you see that Moon in the sky and you pray, "what is he thinking, what is she doing?..." and about the only sound you hear are the sounds of little drops of saltiness falling from your eyes on the ground....it is painful. It is also the most exquisite moment you will ever have in your personal life. That is when your beloved is actually near you, even though you can't see them... and the tears are very much happiness...
Oh, I get so gushy and romantic with all of this, forgive me! I love this place though danibo, I could live here forever, where i really feel my heart toward her, which is to say toward Heaven. For she, is Heaven to me.
Peace and much love, and I am keeping your situation in my thoughts and prayers with Nick - let's both hope for a call!
Oh I forgot that snap of the Six of Pentacles, here it is!
Thanks for the wonderful reading! definitely lifted my spirits right before I went to the psychic...wow was that guy intuitive! He really gave me a lot of insight.
First off, he told me that Nick really does care about me (yay!) but that he's not ready for a relationship. He told me that Nick KNOWS that I want something serious with him, and that he needs to prepare himself for that. He told me that when the time is right, Nick will contact me and things will be alright. He told me that it's fine to send e-mails and e-mails, but Nick already knows that I like him just as much, and that he won't answer those e-mails until he's ready for the next step.
He also told me that I am very impatient with love, and that I need to learn how to be patient, but learn how to be alone, and not rush things. He told me that before Nick calls me, I need to learn these skills. It's divine right that's intervening here to teach me a lesson...he said that until God sees that I am willing to be eternally patient, and am able to take care of myself, he will bring Nick back into my life! So basically, I've got ALOT of work to do!
Other than that, he told me about school/work (he said that I'm going to help a lot of women and children as a nurse!) and that I'm going to meet a doctor who is going to win my heart. (oooooh spicy!) But that I need to put Nick on the back burner and focus more on school because Heaven isn't too impressed with me right now with how much I'm letting this situation control my life.
So basically, I need to focus on school, focus on learning how to be more patient, and how to be independent, and then...and only then, will Nick re-appear.
I guess this is good news, right? As long as I know that Nick is somewhere out there thinking about me, and caring about me, and preparing himself to come back to me, that's all I can really ask for.
(although, I still might ask you occasionally for some cards on Nick!)
anyways, how's Allegra? do you have any more questions that I could possibly address right now?
That is great that you got a nice reading today, how cool is that!
However, I am surprised he said Nick was controlling your life. How so? I thought you were very much in control and a very independent lady. I mean, you are living alone right? And you are pursuing a degree in nursing, right? That all sounds like something a very independent person would do. So you agree with the Psychic that you have other people controlling your life, and that you are not independent in this situation with Nick? You always struck as being VERY much your own person. Hmm...
I'll let you ponder on that. And will await your response.
Well, I was talking to him about how every time I try to do something else, or try to study for that matter, Nick distracts me. I guess that's what he meant. I'm a young college student, so although maybe I should be living in a dorm, I chose to live at home and save some money for later. Although sometimes I do feel as if I'm living alone...no one is ever home! haha
He was just telling me that I need to focus on me first, and be patient with Nick. That sounds like a lot to work on. It's just hard for me right now because everyone around me (my sister, my best girlfriends, etc) they are all with someone, and here I am as the "lonely Daniela". He said that's why i'm being so impatient, because I want Nick NOW so that I won't be alone...and that's not how it should be, right?
Ugh I don't know what to think now...patience, especially with Nick, has been hard. I mean, I thought two months would be enough time for him to "prepare himself". It really just makes me wonder if he's EVER going to be ready, and if I'm suddenly going to acquire so much patience with him that I will never give up on him....even if next July rolls around and he still hasn't shown up.
What do you think Astra? do you really believe Nick will eventually be "ready"? yesterday i was so hopeful, but geez....how many more months does he expect me to sit around and wait?
I hear you DanoiBo
I think you are on the right track. At one point I felt that it was best that you stay focused on your college and then should Nick reappear it would be a nice surprise for you. My heart was really pulling for you and him. Maybe because in my own life I am the last to give up on anything, including love. I am a capricorn, the goat doesn't like to back down! So I am looking at your feelings for this man, and I am like "I can't tell this lady to give up!" Because I wouldn't give up! However, at some point the reality becomes insurmountable, and you conclude, I guess I was wrong, I guess I was mistaken, I guess I was chasing fairies when I should have stayed focused on the more "practical" aspects of life.
My own life has not been exactly a showroom for nice love stories. I grew up in a home where love was about the last thing on display.. and my dad passed away suddenly when I was 15 and I was left with nothing really to pattern my life on as regard love and relationship. I have tried really hard... it is like I don't really have the right pattern to follow. Like when you sew something you need a pattern to get the nice results. Without a pattern, you are fumbling around and just sewing random stitches in hopes of coming out with a dress you like. And it doesn't exactly turn out. All I know is that there IS something called love, and I am determined to find that pattern and see something like it working in my own life. So far the results have looked more like a clown costume instead of something you would wear in pubic.
Okay! Enough of that! Let's see what you are asking!
Your girlfriends are all with someone and you feel like life is passing you by... and you are asked to be patient... not exaclty easy!
King of Cups - I am going to read you some words from a really good book I worked from a while back and I may be going back to that... called "Choice centered Tarot".. anyway, this is what she says on the King of Cups... "An emotion has run its course and is no longer operative in your life. This could mean that a relationship is ending completely or that a particular part of a relationship is ending. The old pattern has become a pattern that is no longer meaningful or satisfying. Nothing can be done now to retain or reclaim the vigor of the original feelings. You need to make some real or symbolic gesture that shows you've reached a point off closure or completion around this feeling or relationship. You may need to fully experience your grief and mourn its passing."
She sees Kings as the End of the suit, like nothing is really happening any more, and it is futile to continue. With your reading from yesterday and I happened to have this book with me and just now drew that King of Cups tells me it is time perhaps to close the covers on that situation and place it in heaven's hands.
I am in the same boat as you with my friend, like you I had the strongest feelings for her, however nothing ever really happened. And yet, typical Capricorn never give up! Never Surrender! I have lit a candle for her ever since.. and I think that last letter was my "last match left" and i struck it and that was the end for me... I think I had to reach that point and finally exhaust myself on the whole matter in order to move on. So my thanks to you for giving me the nerve to at least try that once more and get closure.
I still think Nick and Allegra somehow met up and hit it off.. and while you and I have been pining away lost love, they have been dancing together in the main ballroom of the Princess of Swords Cruise lines, somewhere in the Asiatic Sea, laughing and falling in love... while you and I are wondering when they will come back! Something tells me they aren't coming back. Unless there is a miracle. And miracles have not been showing in my life with much frequency lately.
Maybe you'll have better luck. I hope he calls you or something! I think your Psychic was right, focus on YOU get your schooling done, be a success and then a relationship will be a blessing on top of that. As for me, I still believe in love, its people that I don't believe in much any more. Oh well, that's why we have movies and lots of fun things to do in life that are NOT connected with chasing someone down in the name of love. And then maybe when you aren't even aware of it, something nice can happen out of the blue and then it IS magic. Until then I am going to try and forget about chasing angels and fairies and whatever else out there caught my eye. Not sure what will replace them though. The Capricorn goat will drag his feet forever before he abandons his quest. Once he does decide however, he drops it like a hot potato and never looks back. I am not telling you that is what You should do I know I am tired of believing in anything in life that doesn't work. And that deal was trouble for me. I wish her well, and I am finding another mountain to climb. I think you have your mountain, its called school and success and making a great salary soon.
The Empress.. that's you.. very secure, and taking care of business right around you. YOUR OWN LIFE.
BLessings to you DaniBo, you are a delight. I will keep you in my fondest thoughts and wish you well in all that you do.
Love and much light... and GOOD GRADES! ha ha
It's hard for me to completely give up, just like yourself. I know I will never truly move on from Nick until I KNOW with so much certainty that it really is over, and that I can't do anything about it. However, I still feel as if I should keep some hope. The psychic told me he will come to me when he's ready, and when Heaven sees that I am focusing more on me...I guess that goes along with the saying "love comes when you least expect it". I need to focus on school right now, and let Nick come when he's ready. Although I continue to keep doubts about Nick, I don't have time right now to completely fall apart and cry my heart out: that time will come if he doesn't contact me by the time I'm on winter break. I have been thinking a lot today, and well, I've decided my plan. Now that the psychic told me what lies ahead, I am going to put my faith in God, ask for patience, and work on school. And then, when the time is right, I know Nick will contact me just as the psychic says. However, if he doesn't I will send him one last e-mail, and if no reply, I guess that's it. I know personally that I won't move on until I find another guy who steals my heart in the same way.
Astra, I feel as if giving up is never an option. Even yesterday, i saw a man that I was practically in love with for 3 whole years, and even though I haven't seen him in a while, I still felt that spark when I saw his face again. Love never goes away, no matter how hard you try.
however, I want to know: when was the last time you actually saw/spoke to Allegra? I think the amount of time you have been waiting for her also should be put into consideration.
For me, I'm going to do what the psychic advised: be patient, and work on myself, while at the same time, praying for Nick to be "ready" and then, I know that everything will work out. I refuse to give up completely until I know that I've put effort into working on the things I need to work on, and give Nick more time.
As for you, I think it's taken a lot of frustration and heartache on your part to make this decision. Maybe you should go see a psychic too? that really helped clear up a lot of things not only about Nick, but about other things that are concerning my life. I think it would be really great for you, Astra. Especially at this point in your life!
And well, I understand your childhood completely. Although my father is still alive (I'm so sorry to hear that!) He was abusive towards me, and because of my decision to report him to child services at the age of 16, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. And although it hasn't repaired our relationship, I see how much he has affected my relationships with men...I look for father figures constantly, and fall for any guy that tells me I'm beautiful when i spent my childhood hearing that I was worthless and ugly. I totally understand your mindset...and it sucks that even today it effects who we are as adults.
But still....tell me about Allegra. I want to know as much as you can share with me, because I think that even the smallest glimmer of hope can still help!
But yeah...I think you should go to a psychic. It really helped.
And.....heck, they better not be together somewhere, because that would just be so heartbreaking. Ugh, I don't want to even think that they are with other people! But at least we have each other to vent to.
Hey your comments are all great and I am totally with you on what you are saying. I think the whole secret is in exactly what you said. Leave it in the hands of God, and focus on your own life and let Heaven work out a reunion in due season, when it is right.
I was with my daughter getting ice cream at mcdonalds tonight and thinking about you and these things you are saying about Nick and turning it over to the Lord. And I had one of those light bulb moments. I saw how much we are all WORKING at forcing something to happen with our relationship. And so then the outcome in these matters become the products of WORK and not of GRACE. You know your bible? The whole point of Jesus ministry was to fulfill the LAW of works over Israel so that "salvation" could be by grace and not by works. Israel was trying to fulfill the law in order to obtain the blessing of heaven. And we do the same thing today in our relationships with one another... all of these little ploys and gambits and efforts to "make" something happen... which is simple another term for "controlling".
So the idea I am beginning to see (light bulb) is that Heaven REALLY really wants to bless us all with the most fantastic, and sweet and intimate relationships that anyone could ever have! However that can't happen when we are trying to chase it down and make something happen. That was what happened with Allegra, we were doing art together and it was amazing, and then matters began to go south because other parties got involved, and to make a long story short I was in panic mode to try and preserve the effort (plus I was really attracted to her as a person I thought we really clicked at least in some of the creative efforts). As we were both working at the same place, I was also under pressure to respect the boundaries of the office and the creative work was not office work, which made it all that much harder to keep us moving forward after things began to fall apart.
Anyway, I tried on a few occasions to reach out to her and she basically wanted nothing to do with me. Which I was okay with, it was only that I had my heart set in trying to preserve the creative work we were doing. So ultimately little over a year ago I ended up losing my job over the thing, and then we ended up being forced to sell our home and move into an apt. All this time I still felt a connection with her though at least in the spiritual realms, hard to explain. Maybe that was my faith desperate to preserve a glimmer of hope in the shared art?
Looking back though it was my works that were trying to force her to respond, and I think she sensed that and knew she could not respond to whatever I was doing, as that then affirms that behavior and then you are stuck in a controlling situation, do you see?
So what is the answer? The answer is exactly what you are saying, you turn it over to God and forget about it. Which I finally came to that decision today! Jeez it took me long enough.
Then, when we turn the matters over to God, we release the other person and we also activate the angels to begin to work on the basis of GRACE a FREE GIFT from above to work something out as long as that is in the best interest of all involved. Otherwise it is all WORKS and the works produce negative energy in our relationships.
I saw tonight how so many relationships today are founded in works, like "what do i have to do to get Suzie back? What do i have to say to get my BF to call me... " etc. these are all WORKS and they are DOOMED. The only approach that is going to work in our relationships from now on is to let then all go and forger about it, and pray that "THY KINGDOM COME THY WILL BE DONE" and let it go. Had i done that from the beginning it would have saved so much painful scenarios... I was dumb, didn't understand them what i am seeing now.
The problem also is that it is not the sort of thing that is easily explained, you kind of have to grow into it and finally relax. Which happened to me today when I responded to you that I was washing my hands of the whole thing. (Not that anything was actually happening, however I personally had bound up a lot of energy over my own life that was working CONDEMNATION and JUDGMENT over me as I was so dependent on my works to win her back in some way... one more email, one more letter.., and maybe this one will do the trick. Nope, not gonna happen. Why? Because it must be BY GRACE and not of WORKS (emails and love letters and flowers and whatever). We get mired in these work based relationships and they become deadly.
We say things like, "well if you really loved me you would DO such and such..." that is works, not grace. Love would not say that. Love would say nothing and turn it over to heaven. Which is what I finally came to after over a freaking year and half of misery, wondering why matters were falling apart when I was working so hard to keep everything moving along. Well the truth was it was exactly my efforts to keep matter moving along that was causing matters to fall apart!
So this is a hopeful light for all of our relationships. Someone is not responding to you. Don't do a thing. Your lover leaves you, you have a fight and they move out? Leave em alone and let God work it out. And then we stop trying to force something (works) which will always ultimately fail miserably.
The reason for this is that God wants to BLESS US with so much, great relationships, and sweet intimate unions, friendships, careers, everything should be coming to us as FREE GIFT like God feeds the little bluebirds. THEY aren't in panic mode about their next meal or straw to build their nests. They TRUST heaven and heaven is right there for them every step of the way. When is the last time you saw a bluebird texting his mate, "Hey, how come you haven't been by to see me in the last hour? What, you don't love me any more?" Bluebirds aren't doing that, they are too busy having FUN! And that is what WE are all supposed to be doing is having FUN in life as a gift from above. And to do that requires that we let go and let God, as the old saying goes.
"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." -1 Cor 2:9
So this is the way our relationships are supposed to be working. Nick will come back as a GIFT to you and not as the result of another email. I am not counting on anything ever to happen with Allegra however were that even to happen it would have to be as a gift from God and not the result of a love letter! She can't respond to me, for to do that validates a relationship of works and that is doomed. So she is smart, she simply forgets about it, and lets GOd work it out. She has a head start on me on this, I have long history of feeling like Everything in life is on my own shoulders to work out. Ugh! I am so tied of that approach, it is killing me! I want to be a bluebird and relax, and let heaven bring me food when I need it and not feel like everything has to be the result of a bunch of actions.
Does that make sense DaniBo? You are brilliant you nailed it after seeing that psychic and releasing the matter to the Universe.
I am not sure about seeing a "real" psychic I don't know any. Except one back in Georgia. I might be more inclined to get regular psychotherapy or professional counseling though as I am probably so bound up with this workaholic mess that it may take a lot of time to heal me of all that. Ugh.
So I hope that made some sense. Not sure what else I can tell you about her. At this point I only want to forget the past and let Heaven fix ME and then one day should she pop up at my door then okay fine... she is a beautiful person and lady and that would be swell... until then I am finished. I give up on the whole mess. I still will wish nice energies her way, however the matter is now in the hands of God and I wash my hands of the whole thing. THY KINGDOM COME ...praise the Lord :)! And whatever, or WHOever comes with that kingdom is all i want.
Okay DaniBo I bent your ear there however I had to get it out of my system. You really have a nice understanding of these things, i can see that your years of church have given you a lot of wisdom in these areas. I am still learning. Maybe I will go to church tomorrow.
Thanks for your kind help and words you are a real blessing to me
I think we have finally found that "aha moment"!!! I feel as if Heaven has been trying to lead us to this moment all along, and I'm so glad we've finally reached it.
Although we are still allowed to dream about Nick and Allegra, it would be mentally and emotionally healthy, as well as advised for us to just give it all up to God and let the big boss take care of these situations. I know that if we have strong faith in him, and how much he wants us to be happy with the ones we love, he will grant us our heart's desire.
It's going to be hard though....not sending letters or emails. I think we might send one or two more, but I know that from now on, we are going to be more open and let the control fall from our hands.
I know when I go to church tomorrow, I'm definitely going to be praying for faith and patience with this situation with Nick. What about you? haha I'm glad your motivated to go to church tomorrow, I think it will lift your spirits a bit.
I find it rather interesting though that it took us this long to figure it all out! I'm glad I went to the psychic
But still....do you think asking the tarot for guidance is a bad idea now? I mean, if we are trying to "let go and let God" would it be appropriate for us to ask Heaven about these matters now? I'm curious to see what you have to say!
I hope you're already in bed...I can't sleep! I can't stop thinking about how dumb I was. haha
This will work out for us Astra, I know....we've both been heartbroken before, but I think that was because all we did was expect certain outcomes and try too hard to control everything. I think that was God's way of saying "you guys aren't the boss! I am! I'm trying to teach you a lesson here...don't you see! once you just have faith in me everything will be alright!"
I am certain that God is smiling down on us at this moment, very pleased that we have figured out the secret of life. I can only hope that at this very moment, he is pulling all the strings necessary to bring our dear loves into our lives! (I already feel Nick's vibe...do you feel Allegra?)
This is going to turn out great! YAY ASTRA!!!! we have been so blessed. Now let's pray for those two to come chase after us!
Thanks for you all of your wonderful words of encouragement. I do think this all fits together. I am so much happier simply turning the whole affair over to Jesus Christ rather than trying to continue shouldering my own life, 'working' to try and make everything work out, and find love. So wearisome, and this man is very tired.
I did not make it to church this morning... however I was laying here and read your response and I told my self to go anyway, even though it is closed. I did not want to let another Sunday pass without going to church! So I grabbed the only bible I could find, a Gideon bible in this motel where I am currently staying. And drove down to this old church that I was going to occasionally a year ago... it was night, so I stood in the doorway of the entrance, and read from John chapter 1, and then I prayed something like "Dear God, I am so open to being a part of your church should that be your will for me... I am open to whatever you want." And then I sang the only church song I could remember "Bringing in the Sheaves..." not sure I would call what I did singing. And some tears... I always loved God, and the bible and all of that... maybe He still has a part for me, I don;t know. I am so open to anything DaniBo... whatever is Heavenly and beautiful and bright is all I care about, Jesus? God? Sure, why not.
I am sure that He will make it clear my next steps, I don't care what that is. I want to see my life used for a purpose that is sweet and lovely is all I want. I will be reading again, Psalms and Proverbs. And the gospels I guess. The verses about sending us to hell I might skip over. I threw away my bibles, maybe I can find a new one at wal mart. ha ha.
As for the Tarot, that is a good question and looking into situations like we deal with, relationships and all. In the church all of that relationship between men and women is pretty well spelled out. And as long as you are trusting in The Holy Spirit to guide, you really can't go wrong. Maybe the Spirit used the Tarot, I don't know. Whatever it takes I suppose.
Thank you so much DaniBo for helping me at least be open to that dimension of life again. I have had a time trying to reconcile a lot of things that I learned in church with what life was showing me. When I was reading that passage in John, the words where he says, "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness could not comprehend it" I thought of myself, how I have tried and tried to "comprehend" life and it has never gotten me anywhere. Maybe comprehension is not all its played up to be.
Fine with me. I want peace and happiness and humility and grace and God's love... I will take that any day over comprehension and intellectual knowledge. That is the suit of Swords. And a lot of that is not fun.
So maybe with this "aha" awakening, we an relax about our respective love interests and let Heaven work it out as GOd pleases. I am fine with that. I sure didn't get anywhere trying to win her heart with all of my efforts. Maybe Nick is the same for you. I like this new approach Danibo! It sure takes a load off. Let 'Him' figure it out.
You are a very Christlike lady DaniBo, I can see you have a real heart for people. I hope I find my way again with Heaven's help, you seem to be helping me. I have spent a lot of years of searching for answers. Maybe God has been working with me all this time, and I didn't know it. It's possible. I hope it all turns out okay... All I know is I am tired of crying for reasons I can't figure out.
You have a wonderful week, back in classes I guess. I am keeping you and Nick in my prayers. I still want to see that work out for you... we'll try our new approach and see how it goes!
Six of Cups. Sincere, positive relationships.
Much love, astra
I wouldn't say I'm christlike! haha I am far from that, but I do enjoy going to church. I don't know...it's nice to sit there and just talk to Jesus sometimes.
But still I wonder...the tarot says so many good things about Allegra and Nick, and how they feel about us. It only makes me have more questions as to what to believe in this situation. I don't know about you, but this weekend I've had a hard time forgetting about Nick and leaving it all up to God. I think it's going to be a struggle trying to just not let it bother me and live my life. How are you dealing? This is harder than I thought...
Ugh Astra! This is so overwhelming. I wish everything made sense. I don't get how Nick could care about me, and then not contact me at all because he's not ready. You're a guy, would you do something like that? just curious.
Right now I'm just really trying to focus on school and put him in the back of my mind (which isn't working!) And yesterday was awful....I knew he was in LA...and it really bothered me that we were so close and yet he still didn't call or anything. Will he ever be ready? that is the true question.
If you want a reading (by the way!) feel free to ask! I think the tarot might help us keep the faith that God has a plan for us in these situations. Whenever you pull cards for me, it always lifts my spirits so that I can get through another day! haha
So if I may ask...I really want to know:
Does Nick know that I'm waiting for him?
Is he really trying to get "ready" emotionally for me?
and is he intending on making me wait months and months for him?
Sorry to bother. I know you have so many requests these days. I'll be patient
Thanks Astra. If you have any questions, please ask them!
I hope that you have a great day...I had a four day weekend and already I'm sitting here waiting for class to start and I'm having trouble staying awake!