The heart of a Virgo man
Got it HD, enjoyed every word of it, and have replied!
Leogemini - Are you still coming around? I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I was also thinking that if you drop back by here, I'd like to tell you about a dream I had over the weekend and ask how you would interpret it. Most of all though, I hope this finds you well. Hugs!
I’m still here…
I still feel the same, I still love him despite everything. I know how badly he behaved, I know, but that doesn’t change anything. He appeared ten days ago, but I could not really go out from work in that moment, so I told him to come another day ... he still did not show up, nor called. He asked me then how I feel, I answered that I’m physically well but don’t know what to think or what I feel. Now, of course, I wonder does he think that I don’t want to see him. I met him, he was with his family and I was with my own. I looked at the floor, I couldn’t looked him in his eyes because I was scared that I might start to cry in front of everybody. He seemed quite cold. All the time I wonder why I feel the same for him. I cry, I laugh ... and so on. Wonder does he at all thought through what I've been, wonder if he would be the same to another woman…
Jenever, tell me your dream. It 's great that you dream, it's a step forward! Dream can tell you a lot…
Leogemini - Good to hear from you! Sorry to be so long, I am working very long hours this week trying to meet a deadline on a big project. It is going to be a long month.
I understand how difficult it is to let go of your feelings. I have no suggestions for you. I have feelings for my Virgo as well, but the distance helps me keep a better perspective. I try to match that emotionally, but at times it falls apart. As you know I never quit communicating with Virgo, just quit seeing him. It's been six months since last I saw him, but just the other day he asked, "so when am I going to see you again?"
Such a ridiculous question. I am never the one with obstacles to seeing him. I never even said that I wouldn't see him all these months, only that things between us needed to change. So I told him, "YOU figure it out". I have told him many options on what time I have available and of course he does nothing about it. This would have upset me in the past, but it is so completely predictable at this point that I don't get my hopes up. Ideally I wouldn't care one way or the other, but deep down I still do. Or do I....? This is why I wonder about my dream over the weekend. I remember you saying that dreams are our thoughts no matter who the people are in them. (Or at least that's how I understood what you said.) When I told Virgo about it, he seems to believe that I am dreaming something about him. I told him that more likely he is only a symbol for something that I am thinking/feeling, but he was not convinced, thinking instead that this is some premonition concerning him. So I will ask you.
In the dream Virgo is dead. Well, let's say he appears to be dead. He is laid out on a table with his mid-section draped with a cloth. He is bare other than the cloth. The room is filled with his family and friends, yet no one is weeping. Just visiting with each other as if nothing were wrong. Completely ignoring him. Completely indifferent to his death. I approached the body and even touched him. He did not feel cold and dead, yet did not appear to be breathing either. I couldn't understand why no one was upset by any of this. I also couldn't understand why no one questioned me being there. I walked right past his wife and she didn't even react. They ignored me as much as they ignored Virgo. Although, surprisingly, I was not very upset myself over finding him dead, because I guess basically I did not feel that he was really dead. Nothing more happened. I remember I turned away from him to observe the people in the room. I suppose I left, although I can't say for sure that there was any real ending, just this moment happening.
Of course Virgo now thinks something bad is going to happen to him, but I assured him that this was only a symbol of death, as in a change - the ending of something, not a physical death, and that is was more likely a change in me than any sort of message for him - other than perhaps I am in the process of changing some aspect of how I feel about him. Accepting that things with him are dead perhaps, lol. But the indifference of his friends and family. There was such a sense of him being closed off to them and they were not concerned, being just as indifferent in life towards him, as he was in being dead and no longer in touch with them.
To some extent the message seems obvious, but I thought I understood the last dream I asked you about and you totally turned the tables on my interpretation, so I offer this one up to your analysis as well. I so agree with you, dreams can tell us so much. I only wish that I could remember more of them. I know that I dream all the time, but I rarely remember them. Those that I do I always try to understand the message because I do so believe that this is the stuff that our conscious mind either doesn't want to deal with, or revealing to us things that we aren't noticing, or perhaps at times things that we just don't have time to process properly when we are awake. Now the twist to all of this is that, unknown to me, Virgo had injured himself last week while working and it's possible that he will be having surgery. I suppose, that it is now easy for him to imagine that this dream is him on the surgery table and that something is going to go wrong with his surgery. He is such a worrier, until recently I really didn't realize how deep this worrying goes with him. It's hard to imagine really how he could put himself at such risk being involved with me for so long and not have given himself an ulcer over it. Anyway, it is an interesting coincidence about the injury but I am not sure whether to give that any consideration in all of this or not. I will look forward to hearing what you think about all of this.
Hugs and thank you!
Dreams can sometimes predict, but it’s not the case with this dream. This is a dream that still talks about you and your relationship with V.
Remember, this dream is yours, not his or his family or friends.
First, it is clear that V. in the dream is actually a symbol of your relationship. Just look at him in this dream as a symbol of your relation. Your words - “He did not feel cold and dead, yet did not appear to be breathing either” Yours relationship is not yet cold, but not breathing, does not work, something that appears to be dead but you are not so sure... This is indicated by another sentence of yours "Although, surprisingly, I was not very upset myself over finding him dead, because I guess basically I did not feel that he was really dead." You FEEL that for you he is not dead…Your subconscious tells you that you didn’t get over him nor the feeling of closeness you have.
But, we can watch this on the other level as well - Virgo, a central figure, of course, stayed out of everything… We can watch him in this dream only in relation to you (It’s your dream). His passivity is obvious. He is naked - you studied him well, you know him and how he reacts… In reality, he can’t come to see you, as you said, despite his wish… He can’t do anything, so what’s he left you – to dream him dead! He gives you some signals, he’s not cold, you two have a contact… but, if he wants for you to dream him alive and happy, he must come to see you…
Other people, his family and friends in the room… ” The room is filled with his family and friends, yet no one is weeping. Just visiting with each other as if nothing were wrong. Completely ignoring him.” - The end of your relationship will not disturb anyone but you. No one else from his environment didn’t know about you two.
"I could not understand why no one was upset by any of this. I also could not understand why no one questioned me being there. I walked right past his wife and she did not even react. "- She isn’t upset by his death because she didn’t know about your relationship… You were with her husbund, but, she did not react… Like you want to say: Hey, I’m here! I am a part of his life! Don’t ignore him and me!
But, it’s all irrelevant for her and for the others… In her life, you don’t exist…so, she can’t see you…
At the end, what did you do? You LEFT! Remember, in first dream, you left his house… Now, again, you left the room full of his family...
So, your dream tells you: you feel that even if your relationship is not working, because he doesn't do anything to make it better, you care about him, and he cares for you (he's not cold). He has other life and you are not a part of that life and you are aware of that. So, you left... to live your life... If he wants to awake, tell everybody in the room that he is alive, you will be ready to let him into your life. I think that you didn't close all the doors...
I hope I helped you to see your dream from other angle...
Thanks leogemini - I had a feeling that was what you were going to say, although you did indeed add some angles to it that I didn't recognize. What I interpreted as indifference, you have made more clear now. I suppose there's progress in all this somehow so I will look at the positive aspect of it and try to listen to "myself", lol. The subconscious mind is so amazing isn't it? So much going on in there...
Thanks so much for taking the time to interpret it for me. If I have any other dreams I will let you know. It seems that one way or another I will sort this out to it's resolution.
Hi girls, @ Jenever and Leogemini, I know nothing of dreams but do know some psychology and please remember this is clearly only an opinion.... The mirroring of the other people is actually how you felt during the relationship...ignored! It appears to me you have moved on and the relationship is over for you (dead) and why V is on the table. V is not cold yet cuz you have admitted you still care for him. It is actually you facing the truth or at least your thoughts are trying to tell you what you did not want to see. Hope this is not too negative. Again, does not mean the two of you did not care about each other. The dream only reflects your thoughts of not feeling important in his life or non existent. It also does not mean you both did not love each other... it only means that you felt that V didn't care or make you a priority in his life and you have admitted this to be true.... now your personal thoughts are appearing in your dreams cuz, as leogemini states these r your thoughts and yours alone....
We all deny or make up things that we do not want to accept. I read that the reason we do this as humans is, that the brain tries to compensate for what we want but cannot have. We all do, it... I've only been recently aware of how much I have done it. Since we are social creatures we crave others, especially those we connect with. If they do not respond in the way we think they should we make up all kinds of excuses for fear of admitting rejection which would reflect there is something wrong with us (or so the brain thinks). I'm doing more study on this cuz it is very interesting to me. Rejection or someone ignoring us for some reason, really bothers us. Remember as an example, the scarcer someone or resource (gold) is or becomes, the more we as humans tend to desire... and the reason marketers always state 'only 10 more left'. All just a marketing ploy to get thousands of peeps to call in thinking there will be no more left.
I enjoy everyone's input it is so enlightening to share our perceptions and/or intepretations. We all have so much to share on this blog. Sharing our experiences or opinions even if a great deal of our comments are off the mark, gives rise to intelligent thought. Luvs and Hugs to all!
My english is elementary, so Aries BB told you in one sentence what I wanted to say … :)Jenever, your dream is telling you that you are strong and that you have the power. Tells you that at this point you must leave the room, you are aware of that… What will be next with your Virgo, we don’t know, for now, he is “dead”. You will dream a new dream…and then we can tell if he’s awakened or “dead” for sure…
When I attended classes of psychology and went on an experiential group with a professor who is expert on dreams, one of the things he kept saying, was that it’s most difficult to understand your own dreams, because the dreamer does not want to accept the problem he must be faced with… That the nightmares are actually good, they are our electric shocks and they show us that something is wrong...
I can’t interpret my own dreams but for others I do so, with ease. The only significant dream I had about V. I dreamed about a year ago and can not yet interpret it ... Maybe it will be easier for you, looking from the side ....
I am in the park with my daughter, where we used to play, in front of the building where we live. I am waiting for him to appear and I’m looking at his apartment. He is there and he looks at me from the balcony. He comes and starts kidding me and play with me. Teasing me all the time. I’m looking at him and I can not believe that he is so mean to me. He begins to insulting me and slowly, I start to cry, I feel exhausted. I begin to fall and than he approaches me and takes me into his arms and says he loves me and that I know that and start to kisses me and apologize. While I’m in his arms, I feel broken. I am glad that I am there, but I’m exhausted. I turn my head to the left, and I see two lions that are going round nervously. This is where the dream ends.
I often think of that dream now, in the moments when I’m really sad. I think it was an important dream, but I can’t interpret it… Why lions? I’m leo in horoscope, I love that animals, love their power, streinght… Now, when I dream of him, I don't see him, just have feeling that he is around. Funny...
Kisses and hugs for you Jenever and AriesBB
I must add something that just happened. I was arriving from work, with my daughter and saw him leaving the building. When he saw me, he went to another direction. He is angry! Why, i really do not know... He want a reaction, obviously
Again leogemini, this is only my personal opinion. You have repeatedly mentioned in your blogs the word 'mean'. The dream is you reliving your pain and hurt you feel V has inflicted on you. Lions are a symbol of power, so I can only guess having them in the dream, and two of them, represents you taking back your power from the power V has had over you. Your exhaustion and the dance of the lions is your true feelings. Again, it is an exhaustive struggle for you, cuz in your heart you know you truly cannot have your V, at least not now.
If we go into any relationship knowing full well there are obstacles, our intuition (gut) knows this. It is the denial stage which is the most difficult to overcome. Humans seek pleasure and you are in a dismal situation, so even if temporary, V brought some pleasure or you wd hv been off having fun with your hubby or partner.
Always questioning the relationship is a definite sign something is amiss, having more pain than pleasure is another. Further accepting poor behavior sends a signal not only to ourselves that we're not worthy of true happiness, it also sends a signal to the other person that it is okay to treat us poorly. (con't...)
(...con't) A better analogy might be to think about, having a close friend or anyone who continues to ask you to meet up and spend some time with them, you clearly have time, you just do not feel like spending time with them, for whatever reason or are too busy. An intelligent person will evenutally quit asking and acknowledge that they are not a priority or that you have many other things you'd rather be doing or have to do. This situation really is no different than with you and V, except that there is no sex.
Now think about how it would appear to someone or how you would feel, if you never had time to spend with someone you claim to like very much and are close to. Is it because you are mean, too busy or intentionally avoiding spending time with them. Do we truly know the answer, probably not, yet it does not change how the person on the rejection end might feel. Leogemini if you would mirror what V is doing to you by acting it out...ie, walk out the door pretend to see someone and suddenly walk the other way. You know what you are doing when you do that...this action should trigger the truth.
I'm stating this only cuz it appears several of the relationships started out with obstacles to begin with. Knowing this you accepted that and it eventually became a larger obstacle and lots of excuses. Since we are not in V's head, we cannot definitely state what he feels. Yet, what we do know is, what we personally observe. You mention your V is mean and often stands you up or does not respond to your emails or texts and now appears to avoid you.
Think about it, we know when we're avoiding someone or making excuses and believe me, we also know that when we truly enjoy someone we definitely make an extra effort to be with them or at least, keep in some kind of contact with them. Personally, most people will respond to a text, email or phone call just out of common courtesy. I found that the only time someone may not respond every now and then, is if they are extremely busy, but even then a family member, friend or intimate will not take longer than a day or two.
This blog is like journaling, when you put your thoughts on paper, you suddenly realize... wow I can almost mimick another's feelings or acknowledge mine. Just typing the response above, it is so utterly clear. Ex: When you truly like someone you go out of your way to please them or be kind to them, and if a significant other, you make sure you respond to them or attempt to make time to be with them. If we are not doing that or they are not doing that, it is obvious where we may be or they may be on our list of priorities.
List things that make you happy and see where your V fits in on the pleasure scale. If someone you really like spends more time elsewhere, when they have the ability to spend time with you, if nothing else, you are not as much fun as what they choose to do. Women have always made this mistake, waiting around... if you think about it, how and why would we do that? My only conclusion, is either our emotional state or circumstances were not healthy at the time, we have no life and/or are limited by funds, we are afraid to venture out and thus responded to the first person that paid us the right attention, or it is just more convenient or easier to keep the status quo.
Wow, I think I'm on to something.... If we start making sure everything we choose to do begins by evaluating our state of mind and/or circumstance at the time, which I am believing is the reason we have unhealthy relationships. It is a must that we be healthy ourselves, in order to recognize someone who may not be healthy for us. My whole theory on relationships is, if we are in pain we bring others who are in pain into our life cuz we are resonating the same vibes, or worse we bring those that can easily take advantage of us because they recognize our unhealthy state.
OK, just getting some thoughts out and only my personal opinion... Emotions are fleeting and why they should not always be relied upon... For me, my heart and whether someone brings laughter or a smile to my face, is the best indicator of what brings joy and pleasure...
I am aware of everything you have said. But, he answered on my every sms, what nerves me is that he do not call until I do the contact. When I do the contact, he answer and looks happy. He came to me 2 weeks ago, I did not call him and I could not see him in that moment. And when he asked me in sms How are you? I answered that I do not know what I feel and what to think. Later that day he called my husband to help him about some things and came into my apartement, but i did not appear, I was in other room (avoid him, despite all the love I feel for him). After, he did not call nor came despite our arangement that we could see eachother some other day. Thats why I know he is angry. Thats why I am sad.
I never felt guilt for my love althought I knew at the begginig that I will suffer. I know that he does not love me, that i am not his priority. He said to me a couple of months ago that he is happy just to see me and that is enough for him. He said that he would be sad if I move away. What nerves me is that he never said I do not want to be with you. When I try to stop contact him and avoid him, he chase my husband, asking about what we do... I have never intentionaly called his wife to see how he was...
Some things are not that simple. For observers they are. I am not proud of what I did. I love him, but I know I could not have him for myself. In this blog I write because I feel better, trying to left my anger on screen.
And believe me, I am already in h e l l for what I did. But I am not sorry. Every moment in his arms worth. I am sorry to call him mean, I really do not think he is mean. He just do not love me. You see, I know.
Its really late here, so see you next day... Kiss
I apologize Leogemini for intepreting your word 'mean'. I may even have you mixed up with someone else. I do not profess to understand why we love the people we do. I only try and share some of my own experiences. Clearly, you have every right as an adult to do whatever you want and with whomever you want. Im sure both of you have great love for each other, but neither of you should be in pain. Love should always bring more joy and smiles than sadness. If you have children you know this. No matter how mad they may make you, when you think of them, it should bring joy and love to your heart... Actually, my philosophy is we should treat everyone with respect, kindness an an open heart. And again, please remember, this is only my interpretation. I pray your joy and laughter outweighs your sorrows. Luvs and Hugs
AriesBB - I love all of your thoughts here. But one thing that did pop into my head - while I agree so much with what you are saying, I would like to add one more scenario, which is more where I believe I was when Virgo found me. I had just come through several years of the death throes of a marriage and 16 years with the same man, I had six months of counseling during the divorce process, I had my life on a good track, my confidence was in good order and I wasn't looking for just any man who came along, I hadn't even thought twice about relationships since my divorce 18 months before . I was very strong and very open to dealing with whatever came my way. I'd been through plenty and wasn't afraid of anything at that point.
The fact of the matter was (and I see this in hindsight), it was Virgo who was an absolute mess and looking for someone strong to build himself back up. The problem was, I certainly have some vulnerability when it comes to being drawn into people's dysfunction having lived with it so long. If I had had the slightest clue of Virgo's real situation I would never have gone there. Initially I really thought that V was a man of his word and I approached the relationship thinking that he was available.
When he "came clean" it didn't help because the story he told was a parallel universe to the life I had been living with my husband. I mean identical. So the empathy on my part ran deep. It still does to some extent, but what was, and remains so irksome, is him bleeding what he needed to rebuild his self-esteem from me (I was his "angel", his salvation that put him back on track in life) and then....guess what....he acts as if, "well I'm all good now, so what's YOUR problem?" LOL. He has so little empathy for what he has put me through. But see it got so deeply emotional on my side that now my work is to put myself back where I was when V and I met. I've even stated this to him. Told him, "I don't know what happens next between you and I, but whoever comes into my life next - you or someone else - I want to be the same authentic person that YOU found when you first met me". No games, no false fronts, just me. I reminded him that the day after we met, he described me as someone who "just seems so real - just so comfortable to be with". Yeah, until he messed me up! LOL. I actually do think he has come to understand over time that the universe really doesn't revolve around just his personal problems - that his general frame of mind and how he interacts with others brings out the good or bad in those he deals with. Just like it does for all of us, he is not special, and he was wrong to think that I was going to stay “strong” while he took what he needed and left me hanging. That when you "use" people there are consequences. You win but they lose.
I think that we can be blind-sided by people who need us more than we need them and inch by inch they draw us in. You can totally have your act together and not "sending messages to the universe to bring negativity into your world" and still it will show up on your doorstep. Certainly the solution is to hold your own and not succumb to those people, but it's a hard path to that place for some of us. I don't want to question everyone that comes into my life, wondering if they're hiding themselves and I'm also not comfortable with cutting people off at the first sign that they may be a bit "messed up". In fact, in all of this with Virgo I've been pretty candid with him about "what's messed up", lol. What's weird is that neither one of us has walked away yet. Morbid curiosity or love – I am not sure!
For sure it is like Virgo is dead to me in some aspect though. What the heck, it's more like he's "dead" to everyone except maybe his children. He lives a lie and hides his real self. I think the dream I had is tied in with the fact that lately he's been pulling on me emotionally again. He's called a couple of times to talk. Monday he outright asked, "when are we getting together again", his written messages often end with "I miss you". I have told him I'm open to meeting him sometime, gave him some options this week, but none worked out. Is this some new game, or is he making up his mind about what he wants? Hard to say, but the dream is probably more like my inner voice telling me, "just KEEP him dead until he is really ready to start breathing again - as in ready to build a new life", lol. He is the one who needs to become indifferent to all those other people who were in my dream if he is ever going to "come back to life" and make his life what he wants it to be.
But AriesBB, what you say about making an effort to make space for the people you care about is absolutely true. I do it myself. I have quite a few acquaintances that remind me, “let’s get together some time” and while I know they are sincere, I am “too busy” to do anything about it. You know that if I really enjoyed spending time with these people I would make the time for them without thinking twice about it. The same is true for people that I might like to spend time with but have no time to spare for me. True, true, true – and certainly more true when evaluating the sort of attention one puts into a relationship. I suppose in my Virgos defense, he has pointed out in the past, “do you know how hard it is for me to make time to be with you?” I suppose I do, lol, but I lack any real sympathy for this statement because if he were divorced he wouldn’t have such a complaint. Ha! Still, he was trying to point out to me that I matter that much to him…given his situation and all of course.
Yeesh, I’ll never forget the time he said, “you know, if you lived closer we’d see more of each other”. I was so pissed, I said, “your delusion is that you think the distance is the problem here – the problem is you’re married, that’s what prevents us from seeing more of each other!” Dang, that still makes me laugh. He has his master plan so firmly entrenched in his mind that the rest of the world is supposed to accommodate him. LOL! He actually suggested a couple of times that I move closer. I suggested that he move closer my direction “the school district is far superior to where you live – your children deserve better”. Haha. Looking back, I guess it’s easy for me to think that I’ve been a pushover in some respects with Virgo, but not when it really matters. I’ve never sacrificed my whole world for him. If that’s what it would take for him to take our relationship seriously, then he will have a long wait indeed. I made loads of sacrifices in this life already to reshape my world and at least create the opportunity to have the things in my life that my marriage denied me. If Virgo wants his world to be different, he has to decide for himself it’s worth the sacrifice, whether I’m there for him or not. As you say AriesBB, we find a way when we really want to.
Leogemini – I must think for a bit here and come back to you. I want to read again what you have said and think about your dream (mind you I know very little about interpretations, but as you know I accept that the messages are important so I will offer you my humble opinion on it.)
You ladies always enlighten me! I may not always blog but, I keep up with the blog...it's good to hear that all are okay. Leogemini am very happy that atleast, you are feeling and doing much better. Hugs and kisses to you ladies!
Kk33 - What a nice surprise! Welcome back and happy to know that you've been here all along!
Next post for leogemini.
Leogemini – I’m intrigued with the lions in your dream. You say they are going around “nervously”. Lions are wild and potentially dangerous and yours are on edge. That has to mean something.
You know, something that I’ve never heard you talk much about is consequences if you or your Virgo were to be caught in this affair. I’ve actually tried to imagine how you two manage to keep this secret when it sounds like your husband and his wife are around most of the time. I’m not asking you for details at all, just thinking that it must be very tricky to get together when it seems that you two could so easily get caught. An element of danger in all this.
So anyway, in the dream you are in V’s arms and you feel glad to be there, but at the same time you feel broken and exhausted – because of HIS behavior. He has pushed you to the point that you feel awful, and only when he has you “face down in the dirt” does he scrape you up and “rescue” you. He does not offer you love, or comfort or support – he pushes you down and ONLY then does he show you compassion. This is a terrible power-trip on his part. Do you see the power he holds over you. He uses the appearance of love to give him the power. I’ll remind you that he has told you what a coward he is. I think you totally see in your dream how he plays you just so that he can “rescue” you later. I know this doesn’t sound nice, but I’m trying to look at this dream objectively and I can’t help but wonder if, on some level, you like the “rescuing” part. No matter how badly he treats you, his pattern is that sooner or later he comes back along and tells you how much you mean to him. Because you can’t get out of your personal situation, he is a sort of “rescue” from your day to day life. For all of his unpredictability, there is a pattern to his coming back and rescuing you. Something you can count on with him. (Please don’t be mad at these observations, I’m just telling you what it looks like from where I’m sitting and these are only aspects to think about. I totally respect you and whatever emotions hold you to this man, I believe you know that.)
Now, back to those lions. If you leave his arms in the dreams there are those lions to face. If you leave him in real life what “lions” are there hanging around on the side? If your relationship were to be exposed, I expect there are also those same lions to face. They stay away, but they are nervous and they seem to be wanting to do something….they are waiting on you perhaps? They stay to the side as long as you are caught up with V and all the emotionalism that he causes? If V goes away, where do the lions go? In spite of everything V says and does to you, is he still keeping you safe somehow from the nervous lions?
You note in your dream that you are in a place of happy memories – where you and your daughter used to play. You come to this happy place and look for V. You want him to come out to play, and he does, but it is not to have fun together as you hoped, he comes out only to be mean to you. To play games with you and when he finally makes you cry, then he is happy. Then he has had his fun and is willing to now let you have “fun”, to let you play with him.
I think that your exhaustion is more than V, I think it is many other things in your life than just V. I think that he is a distraction from those other things. He leaves you exhausted, the lions pace to the side, while you dream of the a happy time when life was fun, but as long as you stay tied in with this situation with V you avoid whatever is outside of the relationship (those lions) and you also do not return to a "happy place". You don’t have to deal with anything else because you are so “exhausted” by V. He has drained you so there is nothing left of you to deal with other issues because you are always exhausted by V. I know that you love him, but is he also an excuse to avoid other issues at this time? He keeps you away from the lions?
Wow, I sound so horribly negative, but I’ll remind you that I dream of dead people, LOL, so I’ll repeat, please know these are only thoughts that have come into my head. I’m not even looking for deeper symbolism in the lions (as in why lions as opposed to another type of animal), or the fact that you are outside of your home, and why does V appear on the balcony up high, why not at the door or in the happy park? These details probably all mean something as well don’t they, but I don’t feel that I can interpret them. Okay, that’s all I can come up with. “Take it with a grain of salt” as we say. Let me know your thoughts. Hugs!
I guess there is truth in everything you and Aries BB said about the dream. I think that my dream is more clear to me now. The lions were half-mad, like they are in the zoo with small cage... Only there were no cages in my dream, my lions are free to go but for some reason they stay where they are, they choose to be locked.
I know I think about V. all the time and measure his every step just not to look into my real problems. But again, that doesnt change anything. Baby in me was real, and I think he cant faced himself with that. I was really alone in this, but I still have understanding for him, a coward. Maybe Im angry but I noticed that when Im bitter its getting worse. When I forgive I feel better.
His wife can notice that I cant look her in the eyes, I avoid her as much as I can. I see her sometimes in the morning when we go to work. I cant talk to her so I guess she knows something. When I see him with her I am totaly confused. He dont have that problem. He like to chat with my husband, he is smiling when he sees us together, pretending perfectly. If somebody find out about us - I have nothing to fear, Im not a coward and I know why Im in this. I have great relation with my daughter, she knows how much I love her and she is a strong little lady who can see what is going on. My husband have no rights to tell me anything, he didnt touch me for a long time, we are like roomates. I can give you an example: school, every problem my daughter have, every activity is on me. He just watch TV and play games. And keep telling me he will go to monastery if I leave him or kill himself. Once I was looking for him with police,, because he send me in the morning sms that he will kill himself. I find him a couple of hours later drunk. Divorced fathers in my daughters school think that Im a single mother, so they keep asking me to go on a date. I am not interested. I dont want anything from them. I fell in love with V. V. knows how many problems I have with my husband, he knows what I feel for him.
Im tired. Mess in my head.
Kk33, hope you are ok. I was thinking how are you doing and how is cancergirlie. Kiss
Wow. Do I ever feel at home in this forum. It is my first forum discussion and I'm really glad I found it. I have been reading it for hours and especially enjoyed Jenevers comments. Here is my sad Virgo man story. I met him through friends on May 30. And although I have heard Virgos are not quick to commit we were engaged within five weeks. The first few months were bliss! We talked for hours and had tons in common. We lived an hour away and decided both our houses had history with exs so he bought a house that we picked out and I quit my good job and moved all my things in with him and we rented our other homes out. I was the "perfect" fiancee, getting up at 5:30 to make his lunch, keeping the house immaculate, hand making the wedding invitations etc. As soon as I moved in I noticed a big change in our relationship. It was like he turned the "effort" switch off. We stopped going places, sex slowed down quite drastically, communication was non existent. I worked hard to bring these things back. We had a couple of minor fights ie I told him I has a really bad day and he just walked out of the room. So I got upset and left for many hours when I got home he pretended nothing happened. I printed some communication stuff out and we went over it. The next time we fight was over communication again and this time I left for a few days and only agreed to come back if we went to couples counseling. Then something drastic happened in my life and I turned to him for support. Once again he lacked communication skills but also there was no affection, kinds words of support or offers to help. We argued I told him as my fiancee he should want to protect and help me. On top of it he offered another girl support at a party we went to so I know he knows the behavior just wasn't willing to do it for me. This was the last straw for me and I left and cancelled the wedding. I had second thoughts about a week later and asked to come home. He refused saying it is over. Even though he knows I have no where to live. He started packing my things and put our rings up for sale. I drove 12 hours to see him to try and work it out. We were intimate but he still insists things are over. Two weeks ago I poured my heart out in texts about making a huge mistake and reminded him of some mistakes he had made that i had overlooked and asked for his forgiveness and told him all couples struggle don't give up on us. He did not even respond! I haven't heard anything and at least I am two weeks in to giving him space and praying he comes around but deep in my heart I'm pretty sure he will stubbornly stick to the path he has chosen especially since everyone knows now. So if anyone out there has advice on how to get the love if my life back and keep him (and deal with his disconnectedness) if I am lucky enough to go home I would really appreciate it!
@itsjeeplady I truly feel for you and all I can say is, it will be on V's time if he does come back. The other girls can be more informative... It is a fact we cannot help who we fall in love with. We can still love V or actually anyone who chooses to leave us, yet for me, no patience to wait around too long... if V were to leave and come back in my life and I was available, fine, if he does not, that is fine too... actually this goes for any guy. Again, hugs and love sent your way!