The heart of a Virgo man



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  • Wishing ALL a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!



  • Just had to say Jenever you are one heck of a psychologist. Just finished reading your post of November, I made a copy of it to refer to when I need reassurance and guidance. No kidding you have missed your calling, you should become a psychologist. You have more understanding than Dr.Phil and Dr. Oz .Think about it, it's never to late to go back to school...my sister-in-law went back to school in her late 40s with 4 kids and is now a very successful practicing psycho-therapist. You described my ex-Virgo's manipulation, control and anger through generating chaos and uncertainty exactly. And as you said if I keep going taking him back, I have no one to blame but myself. Let's just pray that both you and I can stick to it. No one can brake your heart more than once- only you can allow it. . google: Trent Shelton,

    a beautiful, insightful,wise, caring human being.

    Thank you for your wise, caring and insightful shared knowledge.

    Judi



  • Haha, Pompanofish! I agree, it's never too late to follow a new calling and I have lots of ideas, but psychology isn't on my list. When I first posted on this forum I didn't expect my initial question would result in such a deep analysis or bring together so many similar experiences. To be honest I was just curious for some quick feedback. Like others who came here, I couldn't really discuss my situation with more than a couple of people close to me. There was a spiritual element at play as well with my Virgo, many synchronicities and things I couldn't explain, so that's how I ended up on this forum. Figured I'd just throw it out there and see what people had to say. But then the thread really took on a life of its own, with lots of wisdom there, most of it not my own, haha! But I'm still learning and growing. I don't feel "stuck", which is a huge positive in my life.

    I checked out a few Trent Shelton videos, I especially loved his message, "look at my heart, not my history". Thanks so much for sharing that, I'm looking forward to taking in some more of his videos.

    Really good to hear from you Pompanofish and glad to know that you are doing well!



  • Hello All.

    LET ME PREFACE THIS POST BY SAYING THAT I AM A COMPLETE MENTAL MESS AND AS SUCH, THIS POST MAY BE VERY DISJOINTED IT'S CONTENT

    And let me say: OMG! To date, this thread has 5704 posts, and I'm joining in to make it #5705.

    I cannot believe the length of this thread, but then again, I've been doing some research online about Virgo men and there are LITERALLY, hundreds of thousands of posts floating out there; ranging from "VIRGO MEN ARE PSYCHO" to "I'D RATHER BE DATELESS THAN DATE A VIRGO MAN". I even found a thread where people so HATED ALL VIRGOS, they were advocating killing all of us and "ridding the world of an evil, diseased plague"...those were actual words posted on the net...SCARY.

    Some of the posts are downright hilarious...others downright sad. I'm not sure what part of the spectrum my posts will land, but I'm going to put it out there anyway.

    This will be a long post, and I hope that I will not bore some of you who will come here to read it.

    Let me first say that I am a Virgo woman. I have Sun in Virgo, Moon in Gemini and Venus in Scorpio. I am your "typical" Virgo woman, meaning everything written about Virgo women applies to me, where I differ, are those Moon/Rising Sign Aspects.

    After reading all of the threads about the Virgo Male, I can see myself in him with one regard and that is the fear of revealing my emotions. I can impenetrable. I can be harder to see into than a lump of coal. But make no mistake, I am very, very capable of feeling.

    I have had three major relationships in life: a marriage (Cancer man), a live-in (Sag man), a FWB (Cappy man). All ended. I was the one who left and left without so much as a backwards glance. The Cancer and The Sag, both cheated on me and The Cappy turned into one of the most vile people I've ever met. So to say that ALL VIRGO men are cheaters is a generalization as my above example gives testament. My Cancer husband, not only cheated, but got his mistress pregnant. But Karma is indeed forthcoming, for when she gave birth, the baby was Totally African American, and not a biracial child; not to mention she wiped out his bank accounts and left him as broke as the ten commandments.

    I have read here and on several other threads about the vindictive nature of a Virgo. Let me assure anyone else who comes here to read: THIS IS VERY TRUE. We can be very, very vindictive. And once we've set our minds to it, we will seek to destroy you. It is done with full knowledge, glee and a determination that would astound many.

    I know that when I found out about my husband, I went on a mission to completely and utterly grind him into the ground. I succeeded too. But after a while, I realized that I was only hurting myself with all the negativity and vowed to never again fall into the "dark side" of my Virgoan nature. I'm quite sure that having Gemini & Scorpio featuring prominently in my natal chart made it all the more frightening.

    I have grown much since that time, and since then, I only "use my power for good. NOT EVIL" lol

    I would be what is known in astrological circles as the "evolved Virgo". This means that we are able to take/process feelings/emotions/thoughts, work them out and make quick decisions about what we want. The "un-evolved Virgo" is not capable of this and will therefore be very slow, unsure and flaky. This type of Virgo is/can be very detrimental to anyone who comes into contact with them. So as a Virgo, I'm here to say, if you run across one of these types, KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN AND BE READY TO RUN FOR THE HILLS.

    Now, the real reason I'm here:

    I have met what I believe to be an 'un-evolved Virgo Man. I met him online (funny how that's a recurring theme with most here and on other threads).

    He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He makes me feel like the most wanted woman in the world and speaks to my heart. (Yea, we Virgos have hearts.) I want to spend ALL MY TIME with him. But alas....

    So, how can I say in one paragraph that if you meet one of these creatures to RUN FOR THE HILLS, but yet, be "involved" with one? I don't know. The universe can do strange things to a person when one needs to learn a lesson. But I digress.

    So, I meet this guy. I'm older/he's younger (again, a recurring theme) and for the past three weeks, we have had this intense connection, albeit online, but intense, nevertheless.

    After four days of communication, he pronounces me "His" and that he is "Mine". We have had deep conversations about love, life, wants, needs, desires, children, family, religion...but SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.

    A lot of Virgos have a BS meter that would put polygraphs to shame and I will say, that my meter is being activated to no end.

    He has told me what kind of job and where he works and that he is single with a son.

    I have doubts about all of it. I tried to do a google search for him and have come up rather empty EXCEPT for a few pictures he sent. I found them on other sites. This being the digital age, people's photos can show up anywhere, so I will concede that what he says, "they stole my photos" could be true. But the BS meter tells me he's lying. And why would he not be on other sites? He's "single", right? He has the right to broaden his chances of finding someone.

    He says he works on an oil rig, but I don't believe it.

    As a matter of fact, everything about him is suspect. The site I met him on, another lady sends me an email telling me that he's a total liar..he doesn't live where he says he does, nor does he hold the job he says he does. When I confronted him about it, he says, "she's a scorned woman"...which could be true, and I've been one of those myself and know exactly what that can turn a woman into.

    Yet, still, I think she's more truthful than he.

    Over the past few weeks, we've exchanged over 300 emails and then a few days ago, he sends me an email saying that he had to go out of the country, the email/phone system is not good where he's at and the problem that took him there is much more complicated than he expected.

    The few times he did call when he was "in country", he said he was using his boss' phone because he had no cell service on the rig, however, when I did reverse phone lookup, the calls were coming from a landline. I'm not a stupid woman. How can he be on a rig, but the boss' phone is coming from land? BS.

    So, the day he "leaves" the country, no emails for three days. I'm going crazy and that little voice inside my head is telling me all sorts of things. I get panicky and anxiety filled and I fire off 7-10 emails. Still no response. This after 3wks of 50-60 emails a day.

    On day two of his silence, I sent him an email telling him that I think EVERYTHING he says is crap:

    1. You did leave me after you PROMISED that you would not.

    2. You're married and I won't hear from you until after Mother's Day, cause you've got to put in your time with the wife.

    3. I don't believe you're out of the country and you don't work on an oil rig.

    NO RESPONSE.

    (And let me say, MARRIED MEN are OFF LIMITS in my book. I was once married and had another woman come into my relationship. I know how this feels and as such, would never be part of such an emotional betrayal. Not saying that people who do have no morals, just saying I'm a firm believer of "do unto others." )

    Finally, because I'm a Virgo and can leave at the drop of a hat, I send him an email saying "I'll give you the space to do what you and what you need to do." Then I send nothing for a couple of days. Out of the blue, I hear from him. He says "things are not good here, I will write when I have more time."

    Was I happy to hear from him? Yes! Did I read that email with skepticism? You bet.

    You see, if I remember correctly, on day 3 of meeting him, I gave him a list. We Virgos LOVE LISTS. And I listed all the things I wanted from a relationship. I listed all the things that would I not stand for in a relationship and I listed the things that would constitute a violation of my trust, along with the consequences for doing so.

    He readily accepted them.

    But yet, here I am, on a board for pertaining to the nature of those 'INVOLVED WITH A VIRGO MAN". I am waiting to hear from him again. I have been hovering around my laptop like a vulture and yes...when I hear from him, it will be as if pearls have fallen from the lips of God. lol

    He has made me want him, desire him, need him, and must I say it? For a Virgo, this is truly an astounding feat, for we do NOT like dealing in emotions. It is scary, has the potential to wound deeply and severely, and is NOT LOGICAL!

    However, since sending the "do what you need" email, I have found a sort of freedom because I do not think about him every second. I have gone back to my "routine" and it takes my mind off of him. I have been an emotional wreck since he "left"..ME...A VIRGO...AN EMOTIONAL WRECK????!!!! IMPOSSIBLE.

    But to go back to what I was saying about the UNIVERSE and it's lessons, here's what I plan on doing:

    The moment he "returns" to the country I will:

    1. Tell him I know he's married.

    2. Tell him that he is to KICK ROCKS and Not contact me ever again.

    3. Wish him well.

    4. Do as I said: Leave. TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY.

    The thought of #4 is so scary...the potential of so much hurt and loss, that I cannot contemplate it. Yet, this is what I must do.

    What I don't understand is how I could have fallen so quickly, deeply and totally for someone that I've not even met in person yet. He says we will meet when the time is right, but for whom..him? Me? Her? It? LOL

    I can so totally see how difficult it is for any woman who has had the fortune/misfortune to meet a Virgo man. It can be exhilarating, deep, insightful, caring...I mean, My Virgo man was able to make me admit my BIGGEST FEAR...ABANDONMENT. I did it so easily and so quickly that it stunned me. Heck, I had never even admitted it to myself...always kept that tucked deep down inside me. But yet, he drew it out of me saying: "Nothing you could ever tell me would be taboo, or too crazy...NOTHING!!!!!!" He actually said that in an email. And I thought: "Wow. Someone who really wants to know what I think and feel." It was a total revelation to me. No one had ever done that before...given me space to open up and freely discuss what has been lying dormant so many years.

    In conclusion, I will say this. If I can pin him down on the lies, I'm walking...and it will be permanent, total and with the precision of a surgeon. For if nothing else is true about Virgos, both male and female:

    ONCE THE TRUST IS GONE. THERE IS NOTHING LEFT.

    I ask that anyone who reads this, sends me positive energy to discover the truth. For the truth is all I desire.

    Thanks for listening to my ramblings.



  • Oh...I forgot to put in what lessons from the Universe I've learned in these past 3wks with my Virgo:

    I have learned that sometimes, people come into your life for a reason. I have ALWAYS had an issue with trust. I recognize that I don't trust people because when I trust, I give them the opportunity to hurt me.

    I recognize that I am afraid of feeling emotions. They are very uncomfortable and have a way of making one face the truth about themselves.

    I recognize that I cannot let anyone to treat me in a particular way unless I allow them to.

    I recognize that I might have to go through some emotional pains and truths in order that I might come out of it stronger and much more aware of myself.

    I recognize that I am much stronger than I thought.

    I got these lessons within 3wks of meeting my Virgo. So even if it ends with me leaving my Virgo (and I can't believe I'm saying "IF", because deep down, I know that it will)...it will not have been a complete waste of time, for the above lessons are and will be invaluable to me when moving forward.

    Quick question:

    Should I contact the woman who contacted me and ask her what she found out? I've been on the fence about it because in one respect, I don't want to know.

    Truly. I don't want to know because I already know the answer. Perhaps I just need to validate what I suspect?

    Again, thanks.



  • Hi Jen.

    I have read this thread over a 3day period and let me say wow. I'm still not finished and now I've added my two cents into the mix.

    I know it's been a while since you've been here, but I sure hope you or someone can find a bit of time to read my post.

    Thanks and Namaste`



  • Beautiful Lotus

    when you ask for the universe what you want, and asking for invaluable lessons is what you will get. you're asking for the wrong things, and why you keep going around in circles is clear you have not learned anything.

    We are here to learn lessons, and key is that you don't repeat it. if you do not learn the lesson, IT WILL repeat itself and each time it's repeated to you it will become harder to deal with.

    People do not change but only to evolve over the course of their lifetime. Emotional maturity is key to understanding on what is going on around you. why you do the things you do to only end up hurting yourself again and again.

    This is not about the virgo man, it's about you the virgo girl. I call you a girl, because you have not matured, and have not really understood the lifes lessons that have been thrown at you.

    you can have an easy life by choosing the right partner. but after three marriages or three relationships, you still have not learned a thing.. you are right back out there repeating your patterns that will set you up for another down fall.

    When you do learn the hard lessons, those painful lessons do go away, but only after a lot of misteps.. some people learn quickly, and others are stuck on their own narcissists needs makes it difficult to accept their own failings.

    There are three types of personalities. The Rescuer, The Victim, and the Perpetrator.

    you can either stop attracting trouble, or invite peace into your life. unfortunately any sign can get stuck on pain and drama.

    Where is your head at? After three bad marriages, you should take a giant step back and chill. but you're looking because being bored is just boring, so you need to spice it up with anonymous virgo to help you fall for another bad relationship.

    Online romance/long distance relationship have a zero chance of makiing it.

    take a look at Jenever s virgo creep. She is on planet kolob living in her head. she's as much a cheater as the virgo boyfriend and she has not learn anything. several years later, its the same BS

    time for you to clear out your closets.



  • Hi Mayberry Stars.

    Thanks for replying.

    First let me say that I have NOT had three marriages...lol. One was enough. Hahahaha.

    My last relationship (Cappy) ended in 2008 and in all that time I have not been in any relationship..and have been CELIBATE ALL THIS TIME!!!!

    So yes, I have been asking the universe to send me someone to love. And you are correct that the Universe will answer when the call is put in.

    I beg to differ on not learning the lessons, as that's what the whole 2008-2014 break from men was about...getting in touch with myself.

    I will agree that the issue is me and it stems from my deep fear of trusting anyone, and so this has made all the bad things that have occurred in my relationships a self-fulling prophecy....my fear of abandonment, my deeply suspicious nature and not trusting I'm sure, made my ex-husband nuts.

    I'm glad you posted though, because after I hit the submit button, I realized that I had not given any information on myself except to say that I was dubious about my Virgo, that I believe that he's a liar, etc.

    In reality, I could simply be projecting my fears onto him, as the truth of the matter is, besides some sketchy stories, I really HAVE NO PROOF of anything I suspect...I simply SUSPECT, have doubts and mis-trust him.

    I keep going around in circles because I really like him. My ex-husband really devastated me when he cheated on me. It took about two years after our divorce before I ventured out into the dating world again, only to attract a Sag. That lasted about a year, and truth be told, it was a rebound. We were wholly incompatible. The Cappy was simply for sex. So yes, I am to blame for those failures...But the lessons didn't become clear to me until I met this Virgo.

    I simply took myself out of the dating field and worked really hard.

    Well now, I'm ready to enter the world of dating again, but this time, I have asked that I can find someone that I truly connect with, someone to love and who will love me. Believe me when I say, I wasn't looking for my Virgo, in fact, he contacted me first, and my initial reaction, at least in my mind, was to run and run away fast....

    That's how's been for the past 6yrs...run away anytime someone showed interest in me.

    But why should I not look for someone to love? I deserve someone to be kind, understanding, caring, compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, funny, smart. I deserve those things because I have the same to offer. And what I can unequivocally say is that I am NO VICTIM. If you knew me, you'd have no doubt. Just ask the drunk guy who stumbled into my yard one evening after a party from the neighbors. I chased him away with a machete...so no...victim is most definitely not in my makeup. I hard, tough, and can be very unforgiving.

    And therein lies the rub with this Virgo. He makes me soft, sweet and yielding. You know, I'm tired of being in control all the time. Tired of being alone and tired of having to make decisions by myself. And I won't make any apologies for that. I got married at 27, was divorced at 34. I had my one and only child at 38 and now I'm going to be 49 in a few months. So yea, maybe it's just that I'm getting older, that this need to find a partner has come up.

    And yea, I still do have girlish qualities about me. But I'm not naive, nor stupid, nor a doormat.

    I have time to think over my "plan" of action for my Virgo, and after seriously thinking about it, I'm going to wait. That may seem "stupid", but again, I have nothing but suspicion to guide me. And maybe the REAL lesson I'm supposed to be learning is to TRUST, and not all the other stuff. I've learned those things pretty well and have the psychic battle scars to prove it.

    I figure if I let my suspicion get the best of me, then I just might drive away the very thing I've been asking the Universe for. And if it turns out that everything I suspect is true, then I will have to deal with it. And now that I write that sentence, I realize that this was my hangup all along:

    I expect him to be a liar. That's unfair to him, and it's most definitely unfair to me, as I might be blocking the very thing I've been waiting for.

    I hope this makes sense to you, and then again, even if it doesn't, this is my road to travel, and I need to just need to travel it...good, bad, indifferent...no matter the outcome...only I can take this trip.

    I just hope that if I have to come back here crying, you'll extend a virtual shoulder to me.

    Thank you so much for responding. It is very much appreciated.

    And an update: I DID NOT CONTACT that woman who contacted me on the site. I think it will be best to just sit back and see what the universe has in store for me.



  • Hi Mayberry Stars.

    Thanks for replying.

    First let me say that I have NOT had three marriages...lol. One was enough. Hahahaha.

    My last relationship (Cappy) ended in 2008 and in all that time I have not been in any relationship..and have been CELIBATE ALL THIS TIME!!!!

    So yes, I have been asking the universe to send me someone to love. And you are correct that the Universe will answer when the call is put in.

    I beg to differ on not learning the lessons, as that's what the whole 2008-2014 break from men was about...getting in touch with myself.

    I will agree that the issue is me and it stems from my deep fear of trusting anyone, and so this has made all the bad things that have occurred in my relationships a self-fulling prophecy....my fear of abandonment, my deeply suspicious nature and not trusting I'm sure, made my ex-husband nuts.

    I'm glad you posted though, because after I hit the submit button, I realized that I had not given any information on myself except to say that I was dubious about my Virgo, that I believe that he's a liar, etc.

    In reality, I could simply be projecting my fears onto him, as the truth of the matter is, besides some sketchy stories, I really HAVE NO PROOF of anything I suspect...I simply SUSPECT, have doubts and mis-trust him.

    I keep going around in circles because I really like him. My ex-husband really devastated me when he cheated on me. It took about two years after our divorce before I ventured out into the dating world again, only to attract a Sag. That lasted about a year, and truth be told, it was a rebound. We were wholly incompatible. The Cappy was simply for sex. So yes, I am to blame for those failures...But the lessons didn't become clear to me until I met this Virgo.

    I simply took myself out of the dating field and worked really hard.

    Well now, I'm ready to enter the world of dating again, but this time, I have asked that I can find someone that I truly connect with, someone to love and who will love me. Believe me when I say, I wasn't looking for my Virgo, in fact, he contacted me first, and my initial reaction, at least in my mind, was to run and run away fast....

    That's how's been for the past 6yrs...run away anytime someone showed interest in me.

    But why should I not look for someone to love? I deserve someone to be kind, understanding, caring, compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, funny, smart. I deserve those things because I have the same to offer. And what I can unequivocally say is that I am NO VICTIM. If you knew me, you'd have no doubt. Just ask the drunk guy who stumbled into my yard one evening after a party from the neighbors. I chased him away with a machete...so no...victim is most definitely not in my makeup. I hard, tough, and can be very unforgiving.

    And therein lies the rub with this Virgo. He makes me soft, sweet and yielding. You know, I'm tired of being in control all the time. Tired of being alone and tired of having to make decisions by myself. And I won't make any apologies for that. I got married at 27, was divorced at 34. I had my one and only child at 38 and now I'm going to be 49 in a few months. So yea, maybe it's just that I'm getting older, that this need to find a partner has come up.

    And yea, I still do have girlish qualities about me. But I'm not naive, nor stupid, nor a doormat.

    I have time to think over my "plan" of action for my Virgo, and after seriously thinking about it, I'm going to wait. That may seem "stupid", but again, I have nothing but suspicion to guide me. And maybe the REAL lesson I'm supposed to be learning is to TRUST, and not all the other stuff. I've learned those things pretty well and have the psychic battle scars to prove it.

    I figure if I let my suspicion get the best of me, then I just might drive away the very thing I've been asking the Universe for. And if it turns out that everything I suspect is true, then I will have to deal with it. And now that I write that sentence, I realize that this was my hangup all along:

    I expect him to be a liar. That's unfair to him, and it's most definitely unfair to me, as I might be blocking the very thing I've been waiting for.

    I hope this makes sense to you, and then again, even if it doesn't, this is my road to travel, and I need to just need to travel it...good, bad, indifferent...no matter the outcome...only I can take this trip.

    I just hope that if I have to come back here crying, you'll extend a virtual shoulder to me.

    Thank you so much for responding. It is very much appreciated.

    And an update: I DID NOT CONTACT that woman who contacted me on the site. I think it will be best to just sit back and see what the universe has in store for me.



  • Well, I honestly don't know what happened to my post. I don't see it ANYWHERE. I hope you are able to read it Mayberry Starts.



  • Dang...Mayberry Stars!

    Sorry that I double posted...this last page didn't show up at all for about 5 minutes.

    And while I'm here, I'd like to address your comment about online relationships.

    I used to think that too, that online relationships have ZERO chance of making it. However, I have several friends, both male and female that have found very suitable partners and some spouses from online dating.

    Yea, the internet affords one the ability to lie, deceive, manipulate, etc. But then too, so does real life. One doesn't necessarily negate the other. For some the internet just makes it easier because of the anonymity of being online. But then too, you have such real life, face-to-face manipulators that hide behind a mask too. It's 50/50 no matter what route one takes.

    As for Jen7, I've not yet finished reading all of the posts, but I did see she started this back in 2007 and here we are in 2014. If she's still hanging with the married Virgo, then more power to her. I can't pass judgment because my crap is far from perfect, I can only "DO ME".



  • Hi there,.

    Honestly, I thought this thread was long dead, but today for some reason I've decided to check on it , out of curiosity, and - what a surprise - male Virgos are still up to no good. 🙂

    BL, what you say about the evolved and not evolved types is very true, and the same goes for every sign. Sometimes we all behave in more evolved ways, sometimes less so. However, in romantic terms, male Virgos do appear to have this ability to drive women crazy, by discovering her "weaknesses", and then very skillfully playing on them. They are experts in manipulation. Usually their strategy is : first gaining acceptance, then disappearing, then reappearing, then disappearing again...you've got the picture, if you have read the thread. The first warning sign - they move too fast, in terms of intimacy. That's a red flag, if you ask me, Virgo or not. Usually that means that the movement in the opposite direction will be just as swift and radical. So, I would really, really advise you to get detached from him as soon as possible, for the sake of your emotional health. You are Virgo yourself, you know how to do it. I wouldn't bother explaining things to him (I can say it now, but that wasn't the case fer years ago) . Male Virgos can be good friends, by the way, but as romantic partners - they are just too unreliable to be worth the trouble. Good luck to you ! Be strong.



  • Beautiful Lotus, Hi there. I have not posted here in ages but I look at the community posting from time to time. I read yours and I just want to give a few cautionary words. In terms of online dating, it has not worked for me, it seems fake. I tried it twice and one relationship came out of it that was long distance, we did meet though, I met his family, the whole thing but it ended in heartbreak for me. I lost my center with that one, but I learned that I can't allow that to happen again no matter who it is. No one has actually the power to sadden me, etc. Disappoint me? Yes, but you can overcome that. Online dating can work only with a few rules: 1) You must be in the same city/area, you gotta be able to see each other, or he's got to be willing to fly where you are and not the other way around. 2) Do not rush things 3) Realize that the persona you are meeting and all the romanticism until you meet up is just not real, it is a projection on both sides. 4) If there are red flags do not ignore them, they are real.

    In your case, for what you are describing you have all the clear signs of dealing with a catfish. Please, do not fall for that. Try a few things: look for a romantic phrase or something he's written to you and google it up. See if he is plagiarizing. Ask questions, when things do not line up it is a huge red flag. I think you know it already, just get out and find someone who is real.

    I think the main lesson is to learn to trust your initial instincts and do not start rationalizing everything. That is precisely when you fall into the wrong place and get hurt. It is ultimately about trusting yourself. You know there is BS. Your meter is not wrong, so do not fall for this.

    Good luck and be strong, do not expose yourself to unnecessary hurt.



  • Good Morning Mardepp.

    And thank you for your reply. I took the weekend to think everything over and the sad reality is:

    I WAS DUPED.

    I will now be taking the time I need to heal my heart, dust it off and keep moving.

    Thank you again for your reply.



  • Hello Beautiful Lotus,

    You are not responsible for someone else lying to you or fabricating a fantasy or persona that they are not. But you are responsible for taking care of yourself, asking the hard questions and not ignoring your inner voice. You will succeed in recovering from this much faster than you think. If he reappears and he wants you, then set requirements, ask him to come to where you are on his budget (not yours). Do it in a nice way and stand your ground. When a man really wants you he'll cross oceans for you if he has to. If he starts with "I have this problem and that" then he is an immature man who is leading you on. And yes, it is that simple.

    I have a few friends who have met their spouses online but all of them did play with strong rules and they met the man of their dreams too. I am talking movie star kind of lifestyle and looks. That is not what I want necessarily but I am happy for them. I want something real, not something forced to be real.

    My Virgo ordeal was with someone I met online. We met in person quickly and we dated for a year. There was no physical intimacy and that drove me nuts. I eventually realized that he just wanted a therapist and he was still hang up on his ex, probably still having sex with her too. So I got out and I never looked back. For a while he did the appearing/disappearing thing and it became an obsession for me. When I realized the amount of energy I was wasting on him I eventually got it and got out. I think that it really takes time to really know what you want, but when you know you just can't settle anymore for less than you deserve. I have not found what I am looking for yet but I do know what I want now and I have peace, which is not a little thing in my book. I am single right now but I am pretty sure that when I am meant to meet the right person I will.

    So have faith and know that the beautiful things you said to him say a lot about YOU. You will heal from this. Be well.



  • Beautiful Lotus

    I'm glad you cleared up the bit about you not being married 3 times. the point is, you were deeply involved 3 times, and have made you bitter and resentful.

    Now look how messed up you are. Not trying to upset you, but you still made those choices to let them in. No one can predict for you on who will hurt you or who is the best one for you.

    You are the only one that can make better choices on who to commit to.

    You can fall in love with a rich man as well as a poor man.

    No one has ever come up with a cliche that says, you can fall in love with a bad man or fall in love with a good man.

    who you fall in love with is their soul or rather an infinite connection.

    This thread is full of women that are hung up on Love or romance. What romance really is, is about Sex between two people. If the sex is bad, then it's all over.

    Love usually develops much later for the man, and it's the women who love in fall too fast.

    sometimes, men rush into a relationship by claiming commitments, only to bail after three months or so.. because they got bored with the lady.

    Women have a lot to learn, especially when it comes to truth.

    Jenever started this thread on the premises of how to nab a married man to whom she is still emotionally connected to.

    a waste of time and energy.

    get out of your head once in awhile.



  • Beautiful Lotus, every single person has been duped at least one time in their lives, and usually more than 1 time. There is no shame in it, it's a learning process. Every single person makes mistakes, that's why we are all here, in this world, instead of going directly to Heaven, or whatever you believe "good people" go to. You are not messed up, just being a human, like the rest of the population of the planet Earth. You will be just fine. As you said yourself, heal your heart, dust it off and keep moving. That's what we are all doing. Sending positive vibes to you. ))))))))))))))))))))))))))



  • Just passing by to say HELLO to all the beautiful ladies! Take care!


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