The heart of a Virgo man

  • @@@@@

  • song4jazz - A comment you made a few pages back: "from the way you describe him (Virgo) he sounds worse than two kids in a schoolyard fighting over their rights and Territory. that's what you two are all about, arguing endlessly".

    Now look at where the thread has gone......see anything familiar? Suffice to say it makes my head hurt.

    In general I'd like to point out that there is no lack of love of Virgos on this thread. Loving Virgos is THE very problem. If we didn't love them no one would be here in the first place, lol. Mind you, you can look through the thread and find a bad "take" on any star sign. I'm a Cancer. Just look at all the threads with folks having pity-parties or hate rallies over the antics of Cancer people. At the end of the day it is behaviors that are at issue here, and relationship dynamics, more than it has anything to do with star signs.

    I'd also like to clarify for Vgo77 that the majority of people who have posted regularly on this thread through time are not American. They are from all parts of the world, or they have been people from other countries who now reside in the U.S. Only a handful of native Americans here actually. Which actually just goes to show that basic human nature knows no cultural, political, religious, or geographical boundaries. We are all made of the same dust and ultimately act - and react - in some pretty predictable ways.

  • Hello everyone!

    I have been reading this thread for the past months and still not done, I am on page three hundred-something and it is time-consuming!!

    I feel like I know all of you guys, specially Jen, VS, ABB and other veterans 

    This forum has helped me a lot to understand my Virgo and all of your input has been very valuable to me.

    And Jenever, you are correct, many people here are not Native American, myself included.

    I am originally from Eastern-Europe, moved to US 6 years ago, live in MidWest. Actually I am not very far from you, Jenever. Do you live close to the Indiana Dunes? You have mentioned the dunes many times.

    We go there every summer for a weekend getaway, this is our family’s favorite spot 

    Having grown up in a country surrounded by the sea and spent all of my childhood summers at the beach, this is the closest I can get to reliving that feeling 

    I am a lot younger than you, and being a Cancer, I can relate to you a lot and it is very interesting to read

    about your life and the choices you have made. I admire you deeply, mostly because you had the courage to leave a bad marriage and moved on and you are an independent and strong woman.

    I hope some day I will achieve the same kind of strength and piece of mind that you seem to have.

    The difference between us is that you started a family at the age when I am raising a pre-teen and have been married for 10 years. Yes, I started early. My husband is a Taurus. He is not a bad person, but we have gone through a lot, it has been a rocky road for us. He is eight years older than me and this is his second marriage, he has two teenage kids from his first marriage. His divorce and relationship with his kids and their mom is a totally separate issue and I try to stay away from it as much as I can.

    Let’s just say that when we met, he lied about being divorced ( surprise-surprise, right ), he was separated, but since we met in Europe and not in US ( he is from my country, but ex-wife was American ), there was no way for me to know, I was young and naïve and trusted him blindly. Basically he ran away from his bad marriage and left his kids behind, he wanted to go back to his home country and find a new start. And he did find me. But his marriage wasn’t over, not officially and not in his mind, in his heart yes, but he had not gone through the stage of analyzing what went wrong, admitting his own mistakes, making peace with it and healing. He still hasn’t and they still fight with the ex-wife like they were still married. It is a terrible situation, specially for the kids. I have tried to do everything I can, but in the end of the day, they are not my kids and this is between them. Sry, got carried away with my past, but thought that maybe it is relevant in some way.

    So on to my Virgo man.

    Yes, no surprise, I am yet another Cancer woman dealing with a Virgo man.

    Looks like we cancers are the main target of the Virgos 

    I can not deny, there is an irresistible chemistry between us and we are drawn to each-other like a moth to a flame.

    But that alone will not make a relationship work.

    Plus at the same time we irritate the h… out of each-other.

    He has told me himself, that part of him feels so good around me and the rest is frustration.

    Why would somebody want to be with a person who frustrates them? That is a question yet to be answered 

    I have come to realize that ours is a love-hate relationship, which is awfully immature and destructive.

    I have honestly never felt this way about any man, hated them so much and at the same time unable to

    let go in my heart…

    He is a very typical Virgo, but of course I never knew that before.

    I have only had to deal with one other Virgo, and we work together. Do I have to say that he has been trying to get to me for the past five years we have worked together? He is married and that’s where I draw the line. Plus, I have a rule about keeping work and private life separately.

    Well, I am not really anybody to talk, since I am a married woman having an affair with a single guy.

    At this point though the affair is over, but because my Virgo is our neighbor and lives next door, it is not so easy to put this behind me. Yes, I am in a situation that I don’t wish for anyone and have learned a huge life lesson here. The funniest thing is that I didn’t even like him two years ago when he moved next door. He is very different from anybody I have known ( anybody a fan of StarWars, then picture Ewan Mcgregor with the beard – he looks exactly like him ) Yes, he looks like a ancient Scottish warrior.

    He is an exact opposite of my husband in every way.

    He is very intelligent, he doesn’t care about material goods and is a functional alcoholic. Never been married, no kids, only had LDR-s. Has mommy issues, is Mr. Knowitall, very critical and picky.

    Anyway, as my husband is Taurus and very outgoing and social and him being a single guy and not having many friends here in our town, they clicked immediately and started hanging out. I wasn’t super thrilled about it, since they were always drinking, and my husband already drinks too much. At the same time I was glad he was distracted cause our marriage was not in a good place then. I didn’t want to spend time with him, cause all we did was fight, so it was kind of convenient. They got closer and my husband started inviting him to our family events and gatherings. Soon he became kind of like part of our family. So wrong in so many ways. Never have a single person get too close to your family. My husband is a little naïve in that area I guess.. So I got to know him better and kind of liked him. He is a very interesting person to talk to, his knowledge of things is amazing. But he doesn’t know a lot about real life and women and relationships obviously, which I discovered before it was too late. Fast-forward to this spring and after one fire-night when everyone had passed out, including my husband, he made a move on me. He started saying how he fell in love with my family ( he loves my daughter like his own, he says and is great with her ) and is in love with me. I was speechless. I had no idea. I didn’t think I was his type. He would give me these deep penetrating looks ( you know what I am talking about ) sometimes, but that was it. He said he has been hiding it, that he can’t let it show. Understandable, since I am his friend’s wife. Something clicked in me and we kissed, but he was pretty drunk and it was late, so I asked him to leave. Next day he acted like nothing happened, but I was like, how to be with him, what to say, right then and there, I should have distanced myself and walked away. But I couldn’t. My stomach was turning and all I could think about was him and how much I want to be with him. We were together that night again ( my husband works nights, how convenient for us, right…) talking and kissing and holding each-other. So very romantic right. It was all that I had been yearning for. He was being reserved though and we tippy-toed around each-other for almost a month before we got intimate. We were trying to be smart about it and ignore our passion, but it was not possible, it was overwhelming. We were like two fools or teenagers in love. I told him that if we do get intimate things will never be the same, that somebody will get hurt. And oh how we hurt each-other. He was hurt cause we couldn’t be together freely and had to pretend like nothing was going on in front of my husband. We imagined our future together, he said he would marry me tomorrow and raise my daughter like his own. I told him that I can’t get divorced tomorrow, that it’s a big decision and we have to get to know each-other better. I am not from here and I don’t have any family members here, I told him that no matter how bad my marriage is, this is all I got. Plus I told him that I don’t believe in jumping from one relationship to another, it does not work, it’s a rebound. He agreed that I should get a divorce for my own sake and then after I have come to terms with that and moved on and on my own, we can maybe see if we could have something. I have a long-term relationship experience and he doesn’t. At least not living together with somebody every day. So the first month was nice but very quickly he would begin to show his true colors, I always had to be the one to initiate contact. I never knew what he was thinking or if he wanted to be with me. He can be very cold and detached. He has the most confusing man I have ever been with. When we were together and comfortable with each-other, it was great, but otherwise it was so hard and painful, we couldn’t manage to switch over from being intimate and lovers into being just buddys. I was hoping we could at least be close friends but even his idea of friendship is different from mine. The last time we were intimate, everything blew up. He insulted me like no man has, basically made a comment about how I touched him down there ( sry, if it’s too personal ) and then everything blew up. I was in shock and started crying and then he started with this awful pity-party on his part. Oh, how good they are playing victims and martyrs when they realize that they hurt you or were the bad guy. I don’t have issues with sex, he obviously has. How one can live without physical contact and sex for months I don’t understand first place. He definitely has issues with intimacy and having an enjoyable sex life, he is the most insecure man I have known yet he acts like he is the man and plays tough. Oh, can’t stand it. But what can you do, that’s how they are. The blowup ended with him spilling his guts to me and trying to get my pity and when it didn’t work and I told him that it’s over, I can’t do this, you hurt me all the time, he said that he doesn’t believe I can walk out that door and leave. And I told him that yes, I can. And I walked out. After that he avoided me until we had both calmed down and had the final talk, where he said that we can be just friends and that’s it. After that surprisingly he started texting me more often and so desperately wanted to make sure that I am still in his life. I was like, what is this. I needed to keep my distance though, I was still madly in love with him and didn’t understand how he can cut me off just like with a knife, boom, done. He was being cold and hard as ice. So we tried the friend thing, but it just does not work for me. So I told him couple of weeks ago that I am done, I can’t live like this. All this time he has been saying how he is about to lose his job and has to move back home. Well, it has never happened, he still has his job and he still lives here. First he said, he is going home for Christmas, now turns out he is so busy with work, he is staying here. Since he is still friends with my husband, he still hangs around and I am forced to see him and pretend like nothing happened. One time I confronted him and said, that how can you live like this. He got mad and said, that he hurts every night when he goes to bed. That he has accepted that we will not be together and that I will not get divorced and that he is happy just to be around me, that it feels like home. I want to tell him so much that I am not your family, I can’t replace a family for him and he has to move on with his life. He has told me several times that if I want him to go, I should tell him that. I have not been able to tell him that yet, but I feel that I must soon. I really want him to go ( deep inside of course I would be devastated ) cause I can not move on and put this behind me otherwise. He is not being a friend, only with my husband, he stays away, does not care what is going on in my life, he is not being a friend. I can’t help but think of him as a very selfish person who only wants things his ways and when convenient for him. I understand that I am married. And the affair was a big mistake and that he hurts too, but I am willing to be there for him and have him in my life, but he is not being there for me. I don’t want to have sex with him, I mean I do, but it’s not the most important thing. I wish we could just be friends and get to know each-other better. But I can not be freely with him, there is something that bothers me so much, he is so impersonal and cold and does not open up. Maybe that’s how men are. But he has to realize that once we grow apart and become strangers, it is truly over. You have to take care of your relationships. I have tried to tell him that, but he does not want to listen. It’s his way or no way. He has an excuse for every behavior and avoids every issue and confrontation. It is maddening. To be honest, even now writing this, I do not understand why I am still under his spell. That’s what it is. I can not stop thinking about him, obsessing about him, is it the hurt ego?? When everything tells me that he is not the right person for me and he only hurts me and is not good for me. Why do I still want him then??? Because I can’t have him??? It is crazy, I feel like I am crazy. I have been keeping my distance for the past weeks, avoiding him as much as possible. He hasn’t reached out to me. He is busy at work, but outside of work, he doesn’t have a life, his roommate travels for work and isn’t around much and since he lost his license due to DUI he can’t go anywhere and do anything except with us. I have tried to tell my husband that we don’t need to babysit him but they have their own “deal” worked out, he let’s the dogs out during the day and my husband takes him to the store to buy beer.

    I have thought about it long and hard and figured that I would probably be better off without them both 

    They are not bad guys, they both like to cook and are generally nice people and we do have our good times together, but my inside is a mess. I hate him for coming into my life, sneaking his way in and then just walking out and leaving me hanging and to deal with all of it. I guess I can’t expect any emotional support from him but that is what I need.

    Surprisingly my relationship with my husband has gotten better. It is really ironic But we still have our issues, and I feel like I am starting to finally understand what kind of a lifestyle and relationship I want.

    I am tired of being the perfect wifey. I work full time, take care of the house, and all of our daughter’s school stuff and activities are on me. I don’t go anywhere, I don’t have hobbies, except reading books, so my life is about my work, house, kid, family. My husband is not very emotional, and I figured long time ago that I am just a practical trophy wife for him. I am younger than him and not bad looking and all his friends are jealous of him for having a nice pretty and young wife who also works and takes care of the house and is a good mom. Like I fulfill some kind of a role in his life. That’s what the my Virgo also told me, he calls me Cinderelly sometimes. The society that I come from is about a generation behind when it comes to gender equality. Virgo is all about that. He can’t stress that enough. I actually don’t mind cooking and cleaning and my daughter is the most important in my life., I also like my job, but what I am missing is somebody to share that with. My Virgo said that we would be good together cause he is also looking for a partner and I would be perfect. How convenient for him to have ready made family. I said that I possibly want more kids and time is running out for me, I am scared to have kids later in my thirties and also the age-difference would be too big, my daughter will be in middle school in couple of years. My Virgo regrets badly for not settling down earlier and starting a family. I know that he is jealous of our family and wants to be part of it and due to my husband’s generosity he is. Sometimes I think that his friendship with my husband is more important to him although he claims otherwise and says that the only reason he still lives here is me and my daughter. I do not believe a single word he says anymore. I believe he just wanted my attention and was lusting after me and doesn’t truly care about me… I served a certain purpose, I made him feel good about himself, I was an ego boost. It hurts to admit this and write about it but I can’t deny it. His actions confirm this. I asked him straight out if he played with me and he said no, but of course he would never admit that. He always plays the pity-game of him being the poor sufferer in this. Totally forgetting that I have feelings too here. I need to be loved also. I have told him many times that why can’t we just love each-other… why do we have to pretend between the two os us that we don’t give a crap and put up this stupid mask???? He says that if he lets his emotions go, he will destroy everything and that he can not destroy my family because of my daughter. I don’t think it is his job to worry about my daughter and he is more concerned about his own ass and tries to play the altruistic martyr. A little boy in a man’s body. That’s what those Virgos are. Cowards and without a spine. I guess that has been my biggest disappointment with him. That he was not the man I thought he was.

    Sry, this was so long, and sry about any spelling mistakes, I am glad I got it out though, any input will be greatly appreciated from you ladies and please be honest, I need some outside brutal view on this and how to move forward!! Thank you in advance

  • Hi ICrYou, and welcome to the thread ! I

    I have to be honest with you, your story sounds like one big mess. If you've been reading this thread, you have probably already realized that there is only one way of getting out of this kind of confusions - through sheer will power. Otherwise it will drag on and on, you'll be wasting your time and energy on deeply disfunctional person, who will NEVER become what you want him to be. I'm not quite sure what advice to give you regarding your husband ( heavy drinking would most defenitely be a huge red flag for me), but trading one drinker for another would definitely be a bad idea. I think you are right when you said that you would be better off without any of these men. Something's telling me that you might continue attracting this kind of people (the ones with addictions and honesty problems), unless you really do some work on yourself first and outgrow this kind of mentality for good, and stop being attracted to them. By that I mean becoming more selective about what kind of person you want to attract. I understand that you are very young, which makes it more difficult to see through people, but you have to start practicing now. You sound like an independent, hard working woman - you can make it on your own, until you find someone who is honest, straightforward and is a generally a grown up man. And whatever you do, avoid alcoholics at all costs !

  • Thank you so much VS for your honest and straightforward input!!

    There is obviously a lot more to my story, it's hard to cover everything in a single post, but I agree with you totally.

    For some reason I have attracted a lot of assholes in my life, sry to say that, but that's how it is.

    I don't consider myself very young anymore, I actually feel old, specially after this affair.

    I guess I am kind of naive and too accepting and open my heart too easily. I know I am desperately looking for this special deep emotional connection with somebody but I may have to accept that either I am not gonna find it or it is impossible to find it. And I have to give up the idea that another person can make you happy.

    I am very independent, but I am terribly scared of loneliness. Like I said, my family is not here and I also don't have a lot of friends. I don't mind being alone, I actually need solitude, but I need somebody there for me. And my husband has always been there for me, at least when it comes to practical matters. Those earth signs are so practical, aren't they. He says he loves me and is ready to do anything for me, but he is happy when the house is clean and food ready and me ready and if he can have a drink or two. Now about his drinking, I don't know what is considered heavy drinker for guys, but my husband does not drink every day and since he is a very big man, he doesn't get drunk easily, but when he does, I can't stand him. That is a problem. I have tried to address this issue for ten years and finally he is starting to get it. His health is not as good anymore and he is starting to realise that he can't continue like that. I also like wine, but mostly enjoy it on weekends and a glass or two. As to my Virgo, he really drinks every single day. He cannot function without alcohol. And yes, it is a huge red flag. And since my dad was an alcoholic, I have a very strong dislike towards people who can't consume alcohol in reasonable amounts. I don't know why I ended up with a person who likes to drink. When we met, I didn't have kids and we went out a lot, but when I got pregnant, my life changed, but he carried on the same way. He has always said, it relieves his stress. I probably should have walked out long time ago, but have always tried to keep together for my daughter. He is a loving dad and adores our daughter, but could be more involved.

    As for Virgo drinking, I would not even consider anything more serious with him unless he would limit his alcohol consumption. I already know that and also know that another person cannot change that. He says, he is unmedicated depressive, so he for sure needs some professional help. I am embarrassed to tell a grown man, hey, stop this nonsense and get some help. At the same time, if I care about him enough, I will not enable his lifestyle anymore.

    I am a strong woman and can stand my ground, but it's useless against grown stubborn men.

    Then I have to feel like the bad guy who nags all the time.

    I am actually tired of babysitting men, cause that is exactly what Virgo wants from me, for me to pity him and pat him on the back and say what a great man he is.

    That is why I kind of lost respect for him. Cause a real man is somebody you can look up to.

    Addictions are terrible and I do not wish to spend my life with one. No matter how awesome people they are otherwise.

    I believe in growth and moving forward and I really want to reach a point in my life where I don't have to constantly think - why am I in this situation or relationship, it's not good for me??

    Maybe I feel like I don't deserve any better, I don't know,

    But I am definitely at a point where I have come to understand that I have to stop looking for happiness in men. I have to find myself and what I want. I would not mind taking a break from my marriage for awhile, but my husband doesn't want to hear about it. He doesn't believe in breaks. Also I am terrified of being alone...Until I get over my fears, nothing will change...

    hopefully I can find some support here as you ladies are all very strong and encouraging

  • ICrabYou - I read your first post, but I'm on my way out for a while and don't have time to read the second post at the moment. But I promise I will and I will share some thoughts with you, my little Crab sister. 🙂

  • ICYou, the fact that your father was an alcoholic is exactly the reason why at some level you attract alcoholics into your life. This also explains why you are attracted to them yourself, even though you might not be aware of it. You are attracted to the familiar type and feeling. At the subconscious level you are trying to "fix" your dad's addiction over and over through these men.This is a classic situation. You say you like reading - here's an absolute "must read" for you - Robin Norwood's "Women who love too much". Every self-help section would have it. You can also easily buy it online. This book will explain you everything about your situation much better than I can, and offer solutions.

    Also, I bet you've been looking for right men in wrong places. Anyway, in order to attract the right people into your life, you have to become the right person youself first. That is, you need to understand what is it that is going on between you and the heavy drinkers and why. Again- please, do get this book as soon as possible, and start healing yourself. And you are absolutely right - you can't change another person, you can only change yourself, your reactions and your own life. As for the Virgo man - he is clearly a destructive influence in your life, so please stay strong. You can start by paying a visit to the self help section of the nearest book store.

  • ICrabYou - VS makes some good points. The interactions that you learned growing up with an addict in the family become the type of interactions you feel most comfortable with through life. Even when you know this type of relationship is not a happy one - even a destructive one, you are drawn to it's familiarity. My father was an alcoholic also - he was also violent and completely irrational when drunk. I love my mother dearly, but she was a martyr extraordinaire. She stuck with him until the day he died - hating every minute of it too, to hear her tell it, but she did it anyway. It took me a lot of years to figure out that it wasn't just my father who wrecked our home and sanity, it was just as much my mother - and as children growing up with this, the sad truth is that we were at the mercy of two very emotionally weak parents. Structurally things were sound, decent home, always had what we needed materially, my parents placed a high value on education and I, and my siblings, have all found reasonable success in life - but emotionally it has always been a rocky road for all of us.

    While it did take some courage to end my marriage, the motivation was to try to spare my children from growing up thinking that their family was "normal" and going off in life to find the same kind of abnormal "normal" relationship for themselves some day. So now I guess you could say that we have a new kind of "abnormal" but there is space here for them to experience something different than what was building in our former family life. Only time will tell though. Their dad still has drinking issues and the kids are old enough now that they are challenging him on his addicition. Needless to say, that is creating it's share of conflicts. The oldest is working with a counselor and a confrontation is coming with his father. The fight is not to fix his father, the fight is for my son to save his sense of healthy self-esteem from a man who doesn't know how to do anything but tear down others - including his own children - if it makes him feel better about himself.

    I found some things for you to read about "adult children of alcoholics". The wonderful thing for you is that you are able to see that you want change. The challenge of a lifetime though is figuring out how to make the changes. It's often very easy to see what is wrong in a situation, but there is no clear path as to what to do next, and all those circumstances that you mention add to the complications. To get you thinking about some things, here is something I copied from the Adult Children of Alcoholics website:

    "Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional household. We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people-pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat. We either became alcoholics (or practiced other addictive behavior) ourselves, or married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

    We lived life from the standpoint of victims. Having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we stood up for ourselves rather than giving in to others. Thus, we became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative. We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. Yet, we kept choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

    These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us ‘co-victims’, those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and kept them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable relationships.

    This is a description, not an indictment."

    Here's another site that had some really good information:

    In case Admin deletes that link just google the title of the article, it is: Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA): The 13 Characteristics. (I put the title in a search and it came up right at the top). This should give you a lot of insight as to your questions about "why" you keep finding yourself in the same kinds of relationships. Even though this is focused on alcoholism, I think that these behaviors could emerge in any family situation where children are raised in emotional instability and uncertainty that lead to insecurity. There's plenty of people out there than can create that kind of atmosphere without ever being intoxicated. Quite a few personality disorders that could lead to the same results. But you seem keenly affected by the drinking going on with your two men and that makes me think you're already aware of the root of the problems you're wrestling with.

    Anyway, have a look and tell me what you think.

  • So this new Cancer ICrabU woman is cheating but she gets all kinds of love? I'm cheating & I get ridiculed... Jenever is cheating with a married man but she's a saint here? Song4jazz was right in pointing out, you're all nothing but a bunch of whiners with dysfunctional brains. None of you women have any idea what you want . And none of you have any idea on how to solve it. A question..Why is it out of all of the signs, Cancers can't seem to shush up? Your horoscope sign complains more then anyone. Who can focus on so many problems? ICrabU, you need more help then what this thread can offer. 🙂

  • ICRABU..."Looks like we cancers are the main target of the Virgos."

    LOL Really? I mean, really? You act as if you're powerless in anything. Virgo's hate clingy, WEAK, emotional people. Target? Hardly. It's more like we see that you're a super messed up basket case and something inside us makes us want to "fix" your sad life. Nothing more. You cancers keep convincing yourselves that we "love' you. When you come from a disaster of a life, we sense that after we meet you. Then we sort of come to your rescue. It's all about what we get mentally out of it helping you. But there comes a time when we figure out you're not going to be fixed and things go bad because you can't let us go like a normal, "mentally healthy" person can.

    You people are trying too hard in relationships with Virgo's. We LIKE, we WANT...easy, playful, fun, HAPPY, light, funny, CONFIDENT mates in our lives. The last thing on earth any of us want to hear is your negative attitudes about relationships in our ears everyday on the phone and how we (Virgo's) aren't cutting it in your sorry little lives. Listen to me, I'm Virgo, I tell the truth. 🙂

  • +++++++++++++++



  • ICRABU, I am a Virgo who is married to a Cancer. I cheat because he is exactly like you women on here.

  • lol

  • Vgo77, you are stuck because you are too insecure to admit that you have a problem. That's the difference between you and ICY. The only reason why you cheat is hostility, boredom and bitterness. She cheated because she hasn't figured out yet how to desentangle herself from the hurtful legacy of her upbringing. Apparently she is willing to take the responsibility for her own destiny, unlike yourself, therefore I bet she'll get herself back on track, while I doubt that that will ever be your case. Your overblown ego gets in the way.

    And as far as I know Jenever is not cheating with anyone or on anyone.

  • Welcome to the thread ICRAPU!

    Vgo77, I truly hope that you find peace from whomever has deeply hurt you in the past!

  • Oh by the way, Vgo77, you were weak enough to marry your Cancer husband, despite the fact that he was having affairs while dating you. More than that, you opted to have a child with him.That means, that he was a little bit more than a "basket case" for you. In fact, being a "basket case" yourself, you probably saw it as a normal situation. I suspect that he has deeply hurt your feelings, which is why you are trying to make other people's lives just as miserable as yours. In other words, playing with other people's feelings you an ILLUSION of being in control , which is one thing that in fact you don't have - control over your own life. You could chose to get it back, but you are too weak for any real action. Going around creating confusions is an easy cope out for weaklings.

  • Nope. I married my husband because we have a pre-nup (my choice) that states if he ever cheated on me, I get everything. He's stayed loyal since. We were young, dating when he cheated. Since becoming my husband and other than being a whinny Cancer, he's the best guy I know. He's the best father to our child too and that alone makes me respect him. He's a great guy but he complains and complains and nags. LOL I keep asking him, "Hun, let's go out and do something like we used to when we were dating. Let's go have some fun laugh, forget about real life for a day." He always says no then he nags me again. So what do I do? I call the lover and go do the fun my husband won't do.

    I'm not insecure people. I feel great! I sing, I have a wonderful life. I'm happy. Maybe that's why you feel the need to try and find out what's wrong with me. Thing is, sometimes people cheat on their spouses just because we want too. There's no underlying issues I have. I just want to have others too. It's all about being practical in life. See, I'm more black and white then emotional and if you're an emotional star sign, you're not going to get me.

  • "apparently she is willing to take the responsibility for her own destiny, unlike yourself, therefore I bet she'll get herself back on track, while I doubt that that will ever be your case. Your overblown ego gets in the way."

    This is a wrong statement towards me. First off ICRABU is never going to get her life on track because she's a royal mess and she helped her husband drink his way into their mess. Do you think she sat around being a little perfect princess, not drinking and yelling and causing problems in her marriage? Come on, emotional Cancer the saint? Laughable.

    My life is on track. I'm really happy other than wanting my Aquarius man back. I'm doing great otherwise. Why do you people find it so hard to believe this? Oh and I do admit I have an over-blown ego but I deserve it. I mean, look at me? I'm not hiding my face behind avatars like you people. I'm real. I live in reality. I don't hide what I feel.

    I can see that my Virgo opinion here is not needed. You ladies or men or whomever have decided that you're all experts in my sign so I'll just stick to facts about my stars from now on 😉

  • Sometimes making no comment speaks volumes.... Have a great Saturady ladies!

  • Oh and welcome ICrabu. Jen and VS are giving you giving you great comments; I don't think I can add anything else constructive.... 🙂

Log in to reply