The heart of a Virgo man









  • Jen, so nice to hear that Virgo apologized and is taking ownership of his actions.

    G4E, you sound great and hoping things all work out for you in your new position.

    Have a great weekend ladies!



  • Jenever - I knew your Virgo would come back eventually and have wondered when he would eventually pop back up. Too much intensity, history, and unresolved issues for him not to, and I know he has sat on his decision to reach out to you for a loooooooooong time before actually doing so. I hope this gives you some sense of closure.

    G4E - Good Luck with the new position!

    I to have been quiet since I've also been very reflective lately. My ex (not v.i.r.go I could care less about him), but my first love (he was my first kiss, first lover, first everything) , has popped back up. I had not seen him in almost 20 years and we agreed to meet up for drinks one night casually to catch up on old times. There was no intention to go beyond that. Well since that night we have

    spoken everyday since, sometimes for hours with texting thrown in throughout the day. I have also seen him two more times since then and I feel a little off kilter with the emotions he stirs up inside me. We are both in relationships and I have recently come to the conclusion that it would be best if we no longer communicated since I dont want anyone to get hurt and I know if we continue to communicate things will get out of hand (maybe they have already). This makes me incredibly sad so I have been in shut down/ withdrawal mode waiting for my dark mood to pass.

    Sigh



  • Hi Jen, just wanted you to know that maybe your Airesman is telling you the truth and he is on a date site, I quite, ended my contract with match.com over a year ago and my picture and profile still shows up as active...and I am not. I think they keep your profile on to make it look like they have more on the site than they really do.



  • Gem - As you know, you can end the relationship but not the feelings. That's good that you were able to tell your Virgo how you feel without feeling like you needed something in return. That's a good place to be.

    Snowball - I don't envy you right now. That is a tough one with old bf showing up, and to make matters worse, he's fun! Clearly if you keep going things are going to get out of hand as you call it. Maybe if you think back to why you two ended things 20 years ago you won't feel so sad. Do you remember when my old Scorp bf came back into the picture after 30 years. It felt new and exciting and old and cozy all at the same time. Very appealing for a while. But the things that made it easy to part back then were the same things that ultimately made it easy not to be anything more than friends with him years later as well. So move past the memories of the "firsts" of your relationship and think more about what came next and maybe that will give you some new perspective on this current situation. Why did he seek you out after all this time anyway, especially if he's involved with someone. Did he say?

    As far as Virgo, as I mentioned, it always seemed possible that he would want to clear the air, but actually seemed more probable that he wouldn't. I can't say it's given me closure, but it did take away a dark cloud that would have continued to hang there indefinitely. The "wondering why did he do that to me" is gone away. I appreciated the chance to speak my peace too. As I've stated quite a few times through the thread, I don't do "closures" really. If I care about someone and it doesn't work out I might feel hurt, but I don't turn that hurt to hate. Maybe because hate is so draining and I need all that energy to heal my hurt.

    Pompanofish - Welcome! Thanks for that information on the site. I didn't realize they could do that even after you close your account. I should go check, maybe mine is on there as well! I know that the right thing to do with Ariesman is to have a conversation about "us" in general. Just need some time to process here a bit. I think it's a good policy to know what you do want before laying on somebody what you don't want. I'm glad to know what you said here about Match in case he says that's what happened, then I would know that he could be telling the truth. I doubt I would believe him otherwise so it's possible that you've done him a great service.



  • Jen, I can really relate to how you are feeling. It isn't closure, I don't think in these situations that closure is even possible. Just having what you went through validated is huge. We will never get these men or what we felt for them out of our hearts. I was overjoyed when I read you recieved that phone call...no matter where it leads, it proves you meant something to him and mattered in his life. I am still living under the dark cloud and I know that someday, my phone call will come...I really know this. I am happy for you....the feelings don't ever disappear, we just learn to deal with them. Don't worry, it's all working out in a beautiful way.



  • LibraLuli - You make me smile, thanks for your thoughts. "Validation" is a perfect word. And I love your last line. As I say, even before Virgo came along I'd been doing a lot of deep thinking about life in general. Hopefully whatever is going on with me will "work out in a beautiful way" because I am in a very disoriented state right now. Quite a few things pulling at me. The timing of Virgo's return feels like a gift because I need the emotional space for something else right now. It probably makes sense to you when I say, you go on with life, but there is a level of energy that's always going into NOT thinking about that phone call that never comes, and the effort it takes to process the feelings so you can put them behind you. Kind of like trudging through a forest and then finally coming out into an open field. New space and a new view...to take on new issues unfortunately, lol. Thanks again, your words were a wonderful read for me this morning and energized my optimism. 🙂



  • Thanks ladies for the congrats on the new job--I'm so excited! Jen I do feel I'm in a good place with what I've done with Virgo. Heck he's already told me that there will never be anything between us when we went away on that trip. And can you believe he STILL says he didn't tell me that? I'm astonished that he would think I could make something like that up and stick to it. Those words hurt me deeply and have stayed with me since. It hurts me still that he denies he said it. One day I won't feel hurt but I think a part of me will always love him. I think it's like that anyway with unrequited love right? This is a new feeling for me and will take some getting used to.

    Just got back from church and my sister is cooking dinner for us all tonight--I think Im going to relax! Then it's back to the grindstone tomorrow for which I feel grateful believe it or not! hugs ladies!



  • Good luck tomorrow Gem! I always say jobs are like relationships, when you don't have one all you can think about is getting one, then as soon as you do, in short order you start thinking about when you can get a vacation. Lol. Thanks for that reminder to stay cautious of delusional thinking. I'm off to spend a great day with my son, going to the "big city" for a benefit concert just the two of us.

    🙂



  • Hi ladies,

    G4E, congratulations on starting a new job !

    By the way, I've noticed it on numerous ocasions with my Virgo friend that he tends to say things, which later he can't remember, or for some unclear reason claims that he has never said, or that I misunderstood the content. Maybe that's what he genuinely believes, as a mutable sign...

    Pompanofish, welcome to the thread !

    Jen, I feel that when one is in a desorientated state, the best strategy is to wait this time out, without jumping into any action, which is probably what you are doing now. Yes, you should definitely give yourself some emotional space, and as LibraLuli said, things will work out in a beautiful way.

    Ladies, I always felt with my Virgo friend that September is a challenging month, kind of strength testing. Don't know if that's just me, or is it a universal Virgo related fenomenon. I feel the need to keep very calm and centered during this time, and avoid taking anything for granted.



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  • Thanks VS,

    I think my Virgo's ego won't allow him to admit maybe he made a mistake when he said that. Ok so a simple I spoke in the heat of the moment and I didn't mean it would suffice. I'm going to drop it and never mention it again to him. I know what was said which is all that matters and I will heed what he said.

    Jen, have fun with your son! I love spending time with my son now that the older one has left the nest!



  • Hello ladies, been a while since I've been on here. Work is killing me softly! 🙂 Didn't have time to catch up on the thread but I see Gem4Ever started a new job! YAY!!! That should occupy much of your time and mind. Congratulations and here's to wishing you the very best. VS, I miss you girl! Last I remember is you returning from vacation with Taurus. Hope all is well with you and your new found love. Jen, hope all is well with you. Happy to know you are enjoying time with your son. My one and only left the nest this past August. I am all alone at home now and missing him sooo much. Good thing, he is missing mommy too and always calling. Before he left to college (about 3 hours away), he used to joke that he will come home only at the end of each Semester. He has been home twice so far! LOL!!! I reminded him of what he said and he said: "I miss my mommy" and then chuckled. But like we all did at one time of our lives, I always knew this day was coming so I prepared well! But you can never prepare the heart enough to stop missing your loved ones.

    Relationships with men? NOTHING! There are pursuers but none that really excite me enough to jump. The one trying his hardest is another VIRGO!!! Arrrggghhhhh! His DOB is August 26. He is 7 years older but I am just not feeling it. Good thing though, I am very frank with him and he continues to say that we should remain friends and see. Well, I am still in friendship mode and not sure it can be anything more. I try to ensure that I am very honest to the 't'. But we shall see with all these new moons (some came and left) if a promising and loving relationship ensues for me sometime soon. No rush anyways.

    Well, to everyone on this thread, I just wanted to stop by and say hello to all my good friends on here. Will be sure to come back more regularly.

    Oh, question....is SeaSiren still on here? I remember the turmoil! 🙂

    Much love to all.

    Rosie



  • Hi Rosie, I miss you too ! Nice to hear from you. Everything is well between the Taurus and myself, in fact, this is probably the reason why I don't talk about him much - he gives me no reason for complaining, lol.

    I think friendship mode is probably the best way to be until you get to know the new Vitgo really well, and see whether he is into the classical Virgo pattern of game playing. Still, August Virgos are not quite the same, it seems...

    As for SeaSiren, she hasn't reappeared since the turmoil. Unfortunately it seems like she couldn't control those mood swings and wasn't mature enough to understand that you can't keep hitting people who are trying to help you. Hope she is smart enough to get a professional help and sincerely hope that she's feeling and doing better.

    Take care, Rosie ! It must be hard to see your son leaving the nest, but it's a good thing he comes to visit and misses you . Obviously you have raised a nice and caring young man !



  • Hi Girls, just checking in 🙂 Well....... I am going on my first date with a new Aries man tomorrow night. Broke up with my Cancer guy, it was ugly break up 😞

    Well thi new Aries man fall on head on the midle of nowhere, I am phisically attracted to him, we are talking on the phone all the time thrue the day for a week now and he is taking me out tomorrow.

    Funny enough he fits my check list for my dream man as a glove! Nationality, age, career, personality, phisical appearance, his independence, he even drives my fav car!!!

    Anyways, dont want to get over excited!!! Who am I kidding!!! I am jumping like a child right now!!!! tatatatata!!!!!! Will tell you after how did it go!! Having my fingers crossed.. Any ideas on how aries men are? I never dated one in my life...

    Hugs and kisses to all of you!!



  • Vic013, so great to hear from you! I'm biased towards Aries cuz they've always been great friends, lots of fun and never keep you guessing what they're thinking; goes for both male/female! Sorry that your breakup with Cancer was ugly. GL with your date and keep us posted.

    Rosie, glad you're doing so well. You sound great!

    VS, you too sound like you're very happy with Taurus! Kudos!!!

    To all the fine ladies and gents, have a great weekend!



  • Thanks Rosie, I actually start the week after next. Your Virgo has the same b-day as my Virgo and as VS says, they are different from other Virgos. Mine has more "feelings" and is not cold at all. He's not a loner at all; always surrounded by people and people adore him. Must be some Leo influences since their b-day is so close to the end of that sun sign. I'm friends with mine and he has put up with my "b.s." and I mean the Gemini in me so he has to be some good! LOL! Good luck with yours I hope everything goes well. Vic I'm excited for you too! I'm talking to another Aries but since I've decided to go it alone for awhile I don't know if I'll actually pursue anything there or want to be pursued should I say. Good luck!



  • Good luck Vic ! Two Aries together must be an explosive combination, but hopefully in a good sense ! 🙂 Male Aries can be great company, but some of them tend to be on a domeneering side, just depends on a person. I think they tend to be more forceful with birthdays towards the end of a sign, not sure. Anyway, if he the guy fits your "wish list", it can't be bad for a starting point. Anyway, have a great date and hoping to hear all about it ! Hugs !



  • Thanks ABB, VS and Gem4Ever. It is so nice hearing from you all. Gem, you are so right in the way you described your Virgo because mine is sorta the same way. He puts up with my hot/cold reactions and continues to want to be close. He continues to remind me that he really loves me. But honestly, I don't jump when it comes to him if you know what I mean. He can be hanging out with me, and still, I don't feel anything exciting or simmering inside me. So for the third time again, yesterday, I told him I just can't get into it with him like he wants. I let him know that I feel bored and empty even when he is here. I explained that my honesty may be brutal but I really would not like to lead him on to nowhere! Nor do I want to see him hurt. Not by me anyways. Anyway, I think this time, he gets it and told me that it is all up to me on what I want...be friends or not. I haven't responded to that yet and still sleeping on it.

    VS, SS was probably going through a lot to where she just could not figure out what to do with all that hurt. I can see where she is coming from because I too went through that hurt but I DID NOT take it out on ANYONE. She sounds like she is a professional and returning to work may do her plenty of good. I strongly feel she will be okay and hopefully, will find it in her heart to return to the thread in a much happier mode. I hope so and nothing is impossible.

    I am so happy to see everyone doing well and wishing everyone well and the very best.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend ladies.

    Much love to all.

    Rosie


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