The heart of a Virgo man
Oh Thank God you guys are all right . There was pin drop silence on this thread for a while lol . Jen, Volpy actually I have decided not to talk to my virgo x any more , its so annoying as well as emotionally draining . He has lost all the rights to know How am I doing and all that stuffs. He pops up suddenly from nowhere. According to his own words he was completely done with me(when we talked last time). He himself told me that there is nothing left , then why he is texting me, its useless , I don't want to talk to him either via phone . I'm living my life once again & I'm Happy with out him. If someone is completely done with somebody then he or she should not contact anymore with that person but This virgo x of mine is doing it again & again, it is indeed a very good mind game for him I guess. I don't respect him anymore.
Hey Jen & Volpy good luck with your Taurus & Aries man.
Hey girls I have told in my previous post that my virgo ex texted me yesterday &I didn't replied now guess what ?He again texted today back to back, he said that he is going through A crisis in his family , he has lost one of his family members (his first cousin). I politely send my condolences to him.
Hope I have done the right thing what say girls ???##
I don't want to get close to him again.
CC - I think that was appropriate to extend your condolances. At the same time, I believe it is entirely possible that the "crisis" part is an exaggeration to play on your sympathy. Of course it's devastating when we lose people in life and it shakes things up, but unless he was unusually close to his cousin, or the circumstances of his death were particularly unfortunate (like a suicide or or other horrible ending) I wouldn't think that this would put him in the midst of a family crisis. If it were a sibling...yes, I could buy that, but a cousin, even a first cousin, this is a sad loss to be sure, but a crisis? Hope I don't sound cold, but I'm 52 and have had people dying in my life for a couple decades now, all ages all levels of relationships. It's always, always sad, but it is a part of life.
Ask yourself this...would he have been there for you if you lost a family member? Would he have been there for you if your life were in crisis. If you've read this entire thread then you know that my Virgo was not. I remember when he had a friend suffer an untimely death (around the age of 45) oh my gosh, what a loss, oh what a tragedy, oh Virgo was so emotional (mind you this was a family friend, not a family member) oh I had to hear all about it. Fast forward about six months later, my mother (who has lymphoma) was slipping downhill. It was so bad that I had to make decisions to travel to see her, her situation was truly life and death. Virgo's response, "sorry to hear about your mom, I can't really be there for you in this, it's too personal". Yeah. Thanks for that support Mr. Virgo. My mother pulled through like a champ, btw, and we are so happy to still enjoy her in our lives.
Anyway, as you said ealier, he told you the way the world was going to work, you suffered through your loss of the relationship with him, now he wants to revive things. You know if he had ended things in a friendly manner then maybe you could be friendly, but he set it up to be something final. The problem is how to take him seriously at any level when he is swinging back and forth between extremes. If you are happy I would protect that happiness now and keep him at arm's length or out of the picture completely if that's what makes you most comfortable. You are right, he did give up the right to even have you as a friend the way he handled the ending of your relationship.
Anyway, as I said, I think your response was correct regarding the death of his family member and showing respect for that. I'd say the crisis part is not your problem and you have no good reason to allow it to become your problem.
CC, of course you've done the right thing ! Formal condolances is quite enough for him, considering the kind of non-relationship that you have.. And Jen is absolutely right - you can't trust a man who is completely done with you one moment, and the next moment he wants your sympathy. Would he be giving you sympathy if the situation was the other way around ? You are absolutely right not to want to be close to him anymore.
Jen, the reply your Virgo ex gave you about your mum's illness is really something - I'm lost for words. The level of emotional detachement and lack of empathy is quite amasing...Maybe there is a divine purpose in all the misfortunes that have happened to him - to teach him compassion. And I'm so glad that your mum has pulled it through !
Jen, Volpy you are 100% right girls I cannot take him seriously any more , actually I dont trust him now, yeterday my text msg to him was very short & simple. I personally don't like Drama but this man My God ! is full of Drama & negetivity. He is full of misery. Yep I could clearly remember when in 2010 I lost my grandma I was going through immense mental pain as I was really very very close to her she was my darling, my virgo never even bothered to show sympathy or empathy(I highly doubt if he has these normal human traits in him or not) ,when I informed him about my loss he was like- sigh really? oh ok!
Wtf??" I mean when it comes to others you are such cruel & unkind that you will treat them like s h i t but will expect that every one will treat you like a KING ? Why? Are you the only supreme creation of God?"
Really? wow ! Jen your virgo did the same thing with you? how mean J e r kish , Thank God your mum is doing well now.
Jen your questions to me --1) would he have been there for you if you lost a family member?
My ans - No. He showed me his back.
2)Would he have been there for you if your life were in crisis?
My ans - Again No. Once I was severly ill & he never bothered.
These virgo men about whom we are all discussing about are really devoid of empathy & yes they exaggerate a lot. Bunch of delutional creatures.
Actually my virgo x thought that after coming to know about this I will call him & listen to all his b u l l s h i t again & again. Hah! No thanks baby I am done with you. You are not even a friend any more now sorry.
sorry for the the typos lol.
Hello, I hope that you are all well and with good things and people in your lives! Did you realize that if some read a page a day of the thread there is well over a year's worth of material here? So much on these Virgos!! I am still figuring some things out, but I will write soon. Hope that you are all enjoying Summer! (almost Summer!)
Yes mardepp, as of June 21 it will be 3 YEARS worth of material here. A few times I thought the thread might fade away, but like the men involved here, time passes and they come back for more...and so the stories continue....
Nice to hear from you, btw. Let us know what you figure out, lol.
hey everyone, sounds like everyone is keeping busy, winter has hit here and have had a few dustings of snow around the hills, brrrrr , anyway, i havent heard from mr virgo but rumour has it that he got back with his ex 2 months ago so that makes him a my cheaty pants as he was at my house 3 nights middle of may.
seems like every time i hear of him he is proving to turn up looking the a right a$$ hole.these people who we have common grounds with, see him as a good guy, just like my friend thought of him, funny how all the men we talk of in here come across just that way...nice.... yeah rite!!
so my friend that introduced us is in complete shock of the last few months of what sort of person he has turned out to be, but as i told her he was always just her friend not a partner and you never truly know anyone till you become just that, poor girl she feels terrible
but something inside tells me that his relationship with his childrens mother will not last, not if he behaves the way he does, but then again they have been together on and off for yrs and she must accept his behaviour.... and when it all goes to crap thats when he will make his contact, i just hope i have the will power to not rely, i say i wont but he has left me feeling so pissed off with his dissappearing acts, 3 times in total, and the heart ache and the delimmer i had a couple of weeks back, i just hope i wont want to reply with a mouth full of you are's, fingers crossed that it wont be for a long time and i would of had enough time to pass
Hi Jenever and everyone. I have been reading your posts since 2009. And yes, I was married to a virgo man for 18 years and divorced him 2 years ago. I am currently involved on and off with another virgo man for almost 3 years. So total years of involvement/experience is 21 years. Even if my relationship/involvement with any virgo takes forever, I will never find the answers i'm looking for. So I resigned and called them retarded.
I doubt that this thread will ever fade away as Virgo men's casualties keep coming Once one has been there, one is capable to see the repeating pattern and sometimes even the funny side of the situation, but it takes time for the "freshmen" to find out what is this all about. In this way this thread can be very helpful - seing the same situation being repeated over and over again and discussing it with people who have been there.
CC, I think it's a narcissistic trait - not to be able to understand other people's pain. Narcissists think that only their pain is real.
Hi Scorpwoman, and welcome to the thread ! 21 years is sure a lot ! Forgive my curiosity, how did you end up dating another Virgo after the first one ? Have you noticed any difference, or similar patterns of behaviour between them ?
CKh, don't worry, by the time he recontacts you, you'll be so over him, that you'll probably feel too lazy to bother to reply. Time is on our side, not on theirs. Their fantasies and memories grow in significance with time, ours fade away.
Scorpwoman - Ha! I wonder how many others have been reading along through time. Quite the drama at times here. Wonderful for you to say hello and what a laugh your post gave me!! I guess I'm curious like VoplySoply how you have endured a second Virgo after so long with your first. I had a brief encounter with one last fall that I talked about here. Met him on the dating site but after a month of communicating, I never met him in person, nor would he speak to me on the phone. Tried calling him a couple of times. Got tired of texting a stranger (or just a strange man) and I let it go. Clearly he was fully prepared to string me along for months....longer? I figured I had played Virgo games long enough at that point.
Coolkharma - your instincts tell you it won't last with his ex because of the numerous times it didn't last already, then on top of that it didn't last with you, and all he does is keep ping-ponging around avoiding getting too involved with anyone. When his children are grown and gone, he'll probably ditch their mom altogether because most likely the kids are the only thing drawing him back (an occasional sense of responsibility kicks in or maybe he misses them). If he wanted a relationship with her he would be serious about it. He is clearly not serious about her or anyone else most likely.
I've been away for a minute (like everyone else looks like, lol!) It's been so hot here and I've been busy travelling with my gf's, church and studying. Update on Virgo--we are finally done; well about 3 weeks now. I found out from him (through casual conversation) that he and his ex had talked about getting back together a few months ago. One day we had gone to lunch and I just bombarded him with 2-3 questions back to back. That way he didn't have time to think up a lie to tell me. It worked! I found out he had considered getting back with her! Now he says they thought it wouldn't be a good idea, because, according to him it wouldn't be a healthy relationship because she doesn't trust him. So if she all of a sudden begins to try to trust him again then they're back together is my thought. I wasn't really surprised but I had asked him to give me a heads up if that's what he was considering. Hmmm I guess I was stupid to think he'd do that; no matter how nice a guy he is. Sigh! We still have a trip planned for the end of this month and he said he still wanted us to go. I'm thinking we probably won't; I want to cancel it but it's what he expects me to do and I know it sounds silly but I won't do it because of that! I want him to cancel it. Maybe I won't tell him I'm not going and just not say anything and the day of the trip will come and go. That's how he operates...what to do. I'll come up with the answer soon I guess. But he and I are done for good.
I met another Virgo (Sep one this time lol) and I know I should head the other way... He lives very near my hometown so it would be a LDR if anything got started. I'm just not really feeling like living the drama anymore though so I'll probably tell him I'm not interested.
Not giving up on the right one finding me however. Just going to bury my head into my studies and other things I've been meaning to do. Focus on me and not worry about some drama-filled romance! Hope everyone is doing great!
Jen, Voply-to save my marriage, i befriended this guy (or shall i say he befriended me) thru a dating site to know more about virgo characteristics (this was before i got across this thread) and make my husband happy. Like your advise toCoolkarma, he probably just wanted to be with me for the kids' sake and maybe look good to everyone that his marriage lasted that long. He was caring, supportive and a good provider in the beginning when he made me quit job to take care of the children. When I showed assertiveness and started working, that's where all the problems begin. All the negativity, blaming and physical/ emotional abuse manifested. I wasn't even allowed to go out with friends and just kept me home to be with him and the children. I felt like trapped. It has to be his way and no other way. Now with this new guy, he knew what I have gone through and making sure he will not be like the ex husband. But you know what, he exhibits the same qualities. Different brand but the same packaging. So I decided to staw away from him but he keeps coming back. Sooo tiring...
Scorpwoman - wow ! Please be very careful with this new Virgo, as they are a very clever bunch. They know how to persuade a woman that he is the one, all the while doing what they are doing behind your back. Also they all tend to be controlling, to greater or lesser degree.
G4E, the September ones are actually the worst case as a rule, so keep your eyes open. LDR is definitely the Virgo's playing field, as it presents lots of possibilities for manipulation, as in case with Jen's post Virgo Virgo. I think just not showing up for the trip could be a very responding in a kind option, if you can afford it.
Hi everyone ...I've been reading this forums for months now and it's crazy how many people seem to be in similar situations with these virgo men lol. Okay so here's my story...I met a virgo man at my job about 9 months or so ago, we had instant chemistry and basically started talking all day everyday from the beginning. He's a little younger than me so I was weary of him int he beggining but this man was relentless lol, so finally I gave in, we were basically in a relationship, spoke everyday were intimate, met his family (briefly), and he met mine. He is "terrified" of committment, but we made deals that we wouldn't see other people. It seems as soon as everything is going good and we are in a good place and a happy routine, he spazzes out, like will suddenly not call me for days or be mean and try to avoid me for no reason and then I ask him about it and he gives me some line like "its not going to work btwn us" or "i don't know if we will ever get married"...and then we see eachother and all is well again. This has happened more than once. Also the minute I try to tell him how I feel, he seems to turn on me, and he's said some pretty mean things OR he will ignore me which he knows drives me utterly insane. So I haven't seen him for about a month now, which is the longest we've ever gone without seeing eachother. And I find myself constantly asking him to get together and he says no because I am trying to force him to see me or control him. Total bull***t. We haven't been intimate recently either. One minute he tells me he misses me and how amazing I am and the next day he tells me to go be with someone else. He says all kinds of nice or mean things and then seems to forget he ever said them, like it NEVER happened. Which makes me question my own sanity sometimes. Can someone please help me decipher what is going on here? I'm going out of my mind. Also I am a Leo (August10) and his bday is August 24.
And I just want to clarify he isn't married or involved with anyone besides me.
Thank u for listening:)
Hi NoeyGirl, and welcome to the thread. No, it's not your sanity you should be questionning, it's his. He clearly displays narcissistic tendencies - only remembering what suits him, inability to put himself into another person's shoes, only taking his own feelings into account ...In other words just being a typical Virgo male. The best thing you can do is to disappear completely for a while, and let him wonder what happened to you for a change. But seriously, is this the kind of man you would like to spend your life with ?