The heart of a Virgo man

  • ohhhh, I wrote a long post and it disappeared! I forgot to copy!!

  • Virgirl, well, as far as giving him a heads up...I don't know. He's not sending clear signals. After all, we haven't had a first date. So, what do you suggest? Ironically, he's texting me now! LOL Part of me thinks the right thing would be to email him and say "I understand that the distance is bothersome to you and that you don't really like my area, so I feel that maybe we should postpone meeting until maybe it's more suitable for both of us." What do you think?

    Ironically, he just texted again..I had said in my email to him last night that he could call me if he his text is that he is going to shower, eat then call me LOL

    As for the epilepsy, well, I know I am lucky because mine is manageable. But I can tell you honestly that I would feel HORRIBLE if I hurt others by being irresponsible about driving. So I've become a bit of a chicken when it comes to driving..I'd rather err on the side of caution. Most understand, is evident with this guy, he can't get past me not living close.

    I'll let you know how the "phone call" goes LOL

  • Hello LADIES,

    thanx G4E , Jenever and virgirl for the advice. i run into him today and we talked for couple of minutes only to tell him that i over-reacted the other day when i told him that once am gone he has his wish complete and he's all alone again and that i wont be around anymore and i added that we weren't that much of a time together to feel something and fact is that i dont so i apologized for my bitchy words the other day and told him that the whole thing just happened did not work out, no harm done and we must continue in different ways. And if someday we find it to be friends then fine by me...if not...fine again. i told him i had no right to treat him as a dumped girlfriend since i was not such thing to him and that i wanted to clear things up and no hard feelings....he looked at me kind of strange and he just whispered ...dont think about it ..its all fine. and i left wishing him have a nice day. now i feel more light and clear in my head since honestly i have no hard feelings for this guy....the opposite i think.... the more i think of him the more possitive i get inside that everything will work out just fine at the end.

    Dear Jevener about the trust issue can we fight it?? i cant force him into trust me....

  • Hi ladies,

    So many new developments ! And hello all the new ladies.

    Geninileo, you shouldn't worry too much about getting him to trust you. The question really is whether you can trust him. The fact is, from what I understand, he's been very negative for a long time, and no one can be expected to tiptoe around his moods forever. You have rights to express your feelings as well, like every person on this planet. Unfortunately it seems that drastic mood and direction changes are the male Virgo's permanent feature, of which they don't seem to have any control, so where does it leave the rest of us ? In fact this is the only permanent behaviour we can expect from them. Take my Virgo - a while ago he had a 180% turnaround and started declaring his love to me acting commited and devoted after a long period of hostilities. (like G4E's Virgo, it seems). Well, he still professes his love ocasionally, but I also see the signs of him going back to his crabby ways. A few days ago he actually kind of hit me, while I was helping him to get an eyelash out of his eye. He of course insists that he was in pain, it was just a reflex, and he didn't hit me hard anyway. However, I felt humiliated and have made a big deal out of it. I believe that this "accident" was his unconscious expression of accumulated resentment of the fact that I am not making him a priority in my life.

    I also see him agonizing over simple decisions and choice making, like re-decorationg his place. He even once asked me to take a decision for him, which I refused, as I don't want to be held responsible for the outcome. I suggested him to toss a coin instead. 🙂

    My point is - there is nothing we can do to change this feature. It would be like trying to change a weather. All we can do is let them figure their issues out themselves, while putting our own lives and needs first.

  • Voply soply i see that you are going through a marathon with these guys.....what is it with virgos that fascinates us so??...... i dont know mine for a long time (as a love partner anyway) and still i cant get him out of my mind even if i go out and see other people. he has captivated my mind mostly. he once told me that he is a difficult guy and to use my mind to keep him close and once i do that i will have him forever. But now i think how can i do that if he keeps me away and wont let me in..? refuses to see me or even talk to me.....he asked me for my own sake to withdrawn cause nothing good will come up if i stay..... one day this and the other day he is like...i cant ask you to stay and wait for me cause in the end you gonna end up hating me and on the other hand i dont want you to go...not really..... he got me so messed up........ the only thing after seeing him today and talking to him is to let go and disappear.... in my mind i want to but in my heart i dont........ so i think the best thing is to withdraw and let him be..... he saw me with a broken leg and he didnt even ask what happened and if i was ok..... that really hurt cause he used to care so much about me and everything and now its like all that matters is him and no one else........ anw i cant find a way to get to him but leave and if he wants to contact me he will...

  • Geminileo,

    Something tells me if you leave him alone for awhile he will be back. Just his reaction to you apologizing and telling him you'd leave him be makes me think that. Meanwhile don't wait around and long for him. Keep yourself busy and meet new people if you can. I hope everything works out they way you want it to.

    My Virgo has really been acting like he used to when we first met. He wants to spend time with me this weekend and I told him we'll see and to give me a call. He asked if I wanted to be his girl and I told him, "one thing at a time, ok?" He agreed. It's going to take some time before I trust him with my heart again so we'll see....

  • G4E,

    you have been involved with a virgo more than i have and you appear to know them well. Far better than me. As you can tell from your self us gems cant wait long when it comes to heart issues. We know when we are ready for a relationship and we want it as whole and complete package. I was taking a time off the past 4 years from relationships and he is the only one who manage to captivate me and put me in this little "us" kind of thinking. But i wont be sitting around waiting for him and he knows see he things of me quite a catch and he felt proud the first time he managed to get me close to him.

    What he doesnt know but suspects its that i never run out of men interest (as you quite know 😉 and therefore it wont be hard for me to find another. If fact i have already met 3 guys... one of them a virgo but seems a lot different than the 1st one .... I always keep my options open cause i have been burned toooooo many times to stand another one scar.

    From what i have read your virgo came all around chasing you all over again.......the thing is can you truly trust him that he wont go back again doing exactly the same things as before....? the pull and push behavior its really frustrating and i havent been living it long....i can only imagine how it is repeatedly.... well hope everything works out for you eventually now that you have the upper hand....xx

  • Geminileo,

    I wouldn't say I really know Virgos, just this one. I've never dealt with one before because just about all the other ones I met bored me to tears! I could never stand to talk to any of them for more than 10 minutes before I made an excuse to be somewhere else! This one is an August Virgo, don't know if that makes any difference but the others were born in Sep. I am very observant and I analyze everything to death (a trait Virgo and I have in common), so it didn't take me long to "peep" his game. Just as you said I never lack for attention from men but none of them have captivated me as this one has. I was thinking it's because I've never had to chase a man before but I know it's much more. He is a challenge to me and I do like that, however, he really is a nice guy--a good man. He just has his quirks and I decided if he couldn't express how he felt about me I wasn't going to waste my time assuming and wondering how he felt. So I backed off. The first time I told him I was doing this--it didnt work. The next time I just became distant as he did to me. I do have to admit that it was my fault when he became distant the last time. I really didn't know what I wanted and couldn't make up my mind so he may have stopped trusting that I cared. So I tried to regain that trust and he pulled further and further away from me. So I gave up and pulled away as well. Told him once again that I was done and needed space to get over feelings. He wouldn't let that happen and well you know the rest from my posts. VS has said they never really let you go. I think that's true. Even if a relationship doesn't work out they still want to be friends. That's not really good for me. If something doesn't work out I need space to get over it; but Virgo males seem to want to remain friendly. I do know they need everyone to like them--mine said he doesn't care what people think of him but I see right through that. He does.

    Gemini's always bounce back on the feet--we're positive thinkers who know that life must go on. Glad you have some irons in the fire to keep you occupied. Virgo men are something special--hard to get them out of your mind once they've made an impression! I think your Virgo will definitely be back; if only to maintain the friendship...keep us posted

    p.s. and when they say it takes Virgo men forever to make a decision--they're not kidding! You must have alot of patience when dealing with one! I'm finding that out now! However, I've always needed to learn to be more patient so even if nothing else works out with mine; I'll leave the relationship with lots of patience!

  • He broke up with me over the phone. I let him do all the talking and he just went on and on in circles " I do not want to lose you but I have nothing to give right now, I think about you a lot, it's not you it's me, blah, blah" He didn't even give me a meeting in person. He wanted to leave things open as to stay friends, I will call you even if you don't take my calls...whatever. I am really hurt, this is my pattern in relationships, I just cannot pass this test.

  • mardepp,

    I'm really sorry this has happened to you. Please be strong and give yourself time to get over this. He's doing the typical Virgo thing, wanting to leave things open to be friends. Don't they understand this is hard to do when you have feelings for them? The fact that he broke up with you means he will probably contact you sooner than later. He will probably begin to doubt he made the right decision. If you had broken it off with him that would have absolved him from blame and made it better for him. It will be better for you if you just make a clean break. Give yourself time to get him out of your system; maybe later you can be friends with him. But now you are hurt and you need time to heal. Stay busy...I hope you feel better soon.

  • Mardepp,

    i can relate completely as the same words he used on me....its always not us but them but they appear incapable of trying to fix things and figure them out firstly inside their heads and hearts before they drug us down below with them. " I dont want to let you go but i cant keep you either cause i cant give you anything at the time being and there is nothing to do about it." Mine even apologized for the way he has been treating me lately "but there is nothing else he can do at the moment"...... CANT DO or doesnt wanna do....???? cause for me there's no cant do but only wont do and DONT WANT TO. period.....and that favorite line of them time will tell and we shall see makes my nerves go over the hills..... feels like we are kites and the lift us up in the air but with a long string at the end tide up on them...... well that's how he made me feel all this time.... now he cut this string off for you ....take the opportunity and fly away as i am going to do ....hope your ok and find it within you to get out of this stronger xx

  • Thank you guys for your words. They really help. I am just left with so many questions and things I do not understand...He didn't even give me a meeting in person, when I said in the beginning I did not want to talk to him about that over the phone> He has been saying all this time that he had seen things long term for us and today he said (even though he pulled away from other women before me) that he saw in the other situations a positive outcome and for us he didn't...I am so hurt. See? This has happened to me before, that things have ended this way with other people. They think I am so together and I have it all so together and by comparison they feel inadequate, which is bs...I just can't figure out why this happens to me. They go on after and arrange their lives according to the knowledge they get with me, then marry the next person...I am not trying to have a pity party, but it is true. I feel very vulnerable...I wish he would be open to more...Thank you all for your comments.

  • Mardepp, if it can be of any consolation to you, this didn't happen just to you, but it seems like every woman involved with Virgo men has experienced exactly the same scenario, with almost exactly the same words. I know that I did. Virgo men don't open up, unless they are forced to (that is when you break up with them), and close up as soon as you decide to give him a second chance. This is just their nature - nothing personal. As for "the other situations" when he saw the positive outcome - that was just a mean thing to say, probably out of desire to hurt your feelings, even though, of course, he wouldn't admit it. I am sure that women in "the other situations" were just as hurt by him as you are now. That's just statistics - how many women are there on this thread, who are blissfully happy with a Virgo man? Not many, if any at all.

  • Well Mardepp, I am really sorry to hear you're hurt. I've learned (and am still learning) that relationships can sometimes be like giving birth to a child. Before you go into labor you probably have some prior knowldge of just how painful it can be but you still do it get pregnant and the inevitable happens, you go into labor then give birth. The miraculous thing is that alotugh child birth hurts like hell and when you're in the tick of it, it seems neverending but its your inside knowledge of the beauty that awaits keeps you chugging along. With that said, I believe your experience, my experience and a lot of the other ladies on this thread, are all similar in that we keep chuggine along regardless of the pain. But what we all have to realize is that beauty DOES await all of us on the other side. So Mardepp, I know it hurts like h ell right now but donnt fret, you are being prepaired for something beautiful. You WILL get over this and will eventually find the answers. He's not going to give them to you because he doesn't know what it was inside you that kept you chugging along. Be still, be quiet and your inner strength WILL come.

    Love and light Mardepp.

    Alex, thanks for clarifying I totally didn't realize you guys hadn't even gone on a date yet. Yeah, tell him to hit the road jack!

    CK, hope you had a marvelous time on your date!

  • Get rid of these womanly Virgos! Ladies look at you! Where is your self respect? These whiny Virgo men are so feminine they force the women they are involved with to lower themselves by switching roles to where the women must become to chaser just to keep the relationship alive. AND EVEN THEN THEY DON"T CARE! Do not cater to the typical Virgo male dysfunction. They pull you in to throw you out again. Tale as old as time. Virgo men do not have genuine emotions for others (unless it benefits them in some way). Rather they fixate or even obsess on a woman only to grow bored with her. The best part? They become indignant or try to get you back when you let them know you are moving on. How dare you not wait the rest of your life while he is making up his mind about you?

    Now for this absurd "trust issue" they try to peddle. Obviously you ladies found out that you could not trust him with your heart. Of course Virgo men don't trust ..... they judge others by their own character. They believe that deep down inside everyone is as noncommital and flaky as they are. They also use this issue as manipulation to buy time or force you to start jumping thorugh hoops for them to win "their trust". They looked at the world through squinty suspicious eyes the day they were born. They will never trust because to them the world as a place filled with people like them .... bad. Take back your divine feminine. Virgo males were not meant to be in relationships. They simply lack the basic foundation needed to build one. When a man loves you he shows it. He simply can't help it.

    Here's what Virgo men do love. Wasting your time ... it gives them a sick rush and makes them feel powerful in a twisted way. They also love distorting the truth. They back off, treat you badly are inconsistent and then try to put the responsibility of trust on you when in fact they are the ones who have breached the trust in question. Most of all they love putting a woman on the back burner and say they are going through something when in fact they are with someone else. This is typical. They often don't want to let you go completely just in case they want to pull you off a shelf again and play a bit. Find a real man who does not play head games while pretending to be such a little victim. Do you really want to waste your time on a coward who is afraid of life?

  • Kendrasag...three words...u go girl! You nailed it!

  • Ahhh, it is so HEAVENLY to have another state the obvious! Well said KendraSag...

  • mardepp - Please stop thinking that this is because of you. Go back and read all your posts. This was not a situation that was happy or easy from the beginning. There were issues, there were aspects of what was going on that were suspect. His sincerity, reliability, intentions - all were gray areas. I am so sorry that it has ended this way. Believe me. Did you ever read my post on how my Virgo ended things with me (after I had "ended" things with him first actually)? He said, "I have three words for you...." then went silent for many seconds for dramatic effect, and finished with, "I hate you" before launching into wild accusations about me telling his wife all about "us". Took me some time to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't me he was hating near as much as he was hating himself - for getting caught, not for his actions. But I suspect he was able to turn it all around and make it someone else's fault. He was always a victim. Oh from the day I met him he talked about what "bad luck" he had in life. If something bad could happen to him, it already had or it would. So mardepp - if your guy says that this is all because of him, believe him. Because it is. Remember that and you will get through this more easily.

    Also, if men keep "using" you to fix themselves and then move on to the next woman, then my suggestion is that you are dealing with too many weak/damaged men. Stop being so understanding and things will get better. I say that as someone who has always had great empathy for people. "Everyone has value" was my theory. But between a couple years of dealing with Virgo, and life in general lately, I am switching from trusting that eveyone is worth caring about to investing only in those who prove they are worth it. And by "prove" I mean, who don't come into my life with a bunch of unresolved stuff, and negativity and dog me down with it. I'd like to surround myself with people who have their act together for a change. You know when you have an air of confidence, people who lack self-confidence will naturally be drawn to you. It is up to you to keep them at arm's length so that they don't distract you from finding more worthy companions in life. Maybe it is not incorrect that these guys find themselves inadequate in comparison to you. Maybe you need to raise your standards. 🙂

    So hang in there, I believe you're going to be just fine. And if you're not, well, he'll be back to torture you some more. He left the door wide open didn't he? Going to "call you even if you don't answer". Nice of him to warn you in advance really. But at least this time you know up front that he sees no future with you - not like those other women. How mean was that to say? Come on mardepp - reality is, you probably dodged a bullet with this guy.

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