The heart of a Virgo man

  • Jenever7 , I went on vacation with my Virgo man. It was a new year. We had a great time. Acctualy by the way he was acting , it's seems like he tooks his one girlfriend ( me) On a trip like that for the first time. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. 🙂

    But NOW!!!!!! When we broke up.…… OMG. he talks about vacations together all he time. I Know HE IS LYING!!!!!! Every time we broke up he will be like " ooooooo I got this weekends for us…… Paris, Fiji and etc. " It so f****** irritating. I know he is lying!!!!! Why is he doing it??????

  • Jenever7k , I went on vacation with my Virgo man. It was a new year. We had a great time. Acctualy by them way he was acting , it's seems like he tooks his one girlfriend ( me) On a trip like that for the first time. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. 🙂

    But NOW!!!!!! When we broke up.…… OMG. he talks about vacations together all he time. I Know HE IS LYING!!!!!! Every time we broke up he will be like " ooooooo I got this weekends for us…… Paris, Fiji and etc. " It so f****** irritating. I know he is lying!!!!! Why is he doing it??????

  • Hi Tatochka, and welcome to the thread. I think they do it because they want to feed us hopes in order to keep us hooked on them. They are possessive, insecure and need to be needed and in control of other people's feelings and actions. Maybe that makes them feel safer. Part of me is feeling sorry for them, because it's so childish, and frankly, must be painful. And Virgirl, you are right, it's a comedy at the same time, and it's better to see it this way. I've noticed that as soon as I start feeling sorry for my Virgo friend, next thing he does is he takes advantage of it .

  • Hello Tatochka - I think there was definitely something in my Virgo that liked to make people feel sorry for what they lost. This is why I often told my Virgo how much I valued him - but that I couldn't deal with his situation. I saw them as two different things. That way he couldn't play that game on me. I told him up front that I knew what I was losing by leaving him. But alas...I had to let go anyway. But I wasn't doing this just to play games with him, I was sincere. I just don't want him popping back in my life someday telling me "things could have been different if only you hadn't ended things..." Actually, now that I think about it, I could see him doing this anyway. You see my Virgo is married and yet he still said (twice for emphasis) that I was "dumping" him. How the heck do you dump a married man? Only in the mind of a Virgo..... But it would be very cruel of him to show up down the road acting like I hurt him and that it's my fault we weren't together. You see he said once that his plan was for us to be together "down the road". Yeah, "down the road", one more "Virgo trip" that gets talked about but never materialize. Haha.

    Thanks for joining the thread, btw, nice to have you here!

  • VS, you nailed it again! Key words- possessive, control of others feelings and actions. So, so true. I think it gives them a temporary rush that immediately fades when they're either alone and unhappy or with someone that isn't perfect in which they're still unhappy. Very sad indeed.

  • VS and Jen,

    I think the trip will happen--if I plan it. We went away together back in November and had a blast. I planned everything since I asked him to go. This time, since he asked, I told him we could talk about it and I may bring it up again just to see what he says. If he acts like he really wants to do it I will tell him to plan this one. We'll see what happens. I don't care if it happens or not actually--no expectations on my part really makes it easier to deal with him. Today he was all in my face at work and flirting--getting only lukewarm responses from me. I'm over his charm now that I know what that's all about. He mentioned again under his breath that I don't call to check on him anymore. I told him I'd call but didn't. I don't plan on contacting him at all this weekend. I do like him but he's the one who started distancing himself from me and now I'm used to it. A few weeks ago I told him that I was starting to feel he's neglecting our friendship because he stopped texting, calling me (after work hours), inviting me over, etc. He always apologized and said he'd do better. Well he never did except to call a few times at the office. So I said to myself, ok. I'm not getting drawn in again and start feeling down over him anymore. So now no contact from me and I feel no urge to. He, on the other hand is doing everything to get my attention to no avail. He called today on some pretense, I was pleasant enough, answered his question and got off the phone... I know without a doubt he's wondering what's going on, but I tried to tell him that we were growing apart. He didnt listen... Maybe he'll realize it, stop trying so hard and move on to his next!

  • Ladies, it is all just a "hook" when they're not busy or bored. The cunning comes from the fact that they know they screwed up and thus, must come up with something more charming. Children are the masters of this type of play. Problem is that V i r g o s forget which girl they charmed last and which maneuver did or didn't work. Meaning, they're always putting on the charm with all the ladies and forget what it is that they said last to which lady. Sad but true! The pity part is all part of the game and if you continue playing the game you'll continue to fall for the manipulation. Once you decide whether you want to be with a mature grown adult or a spoiled child and/or game player, odds go up in your favor and you will be able to clearly see it for what it is? Really, doesn't matter what zodiac sign the male is, if he is acting with this type of behavior it is a big RED flag and clear warning sign. 🙂

    Beautiful beach day! Hope all the ladies have a wonderful weekend! ! !

  • BTW, mature males chase, plan and execute all the time. These are the types of men one should be looking for. If not, you'll end up the rest of your life taking care of someone. The only person someone should be taking care of is their children, not grown adults. Adult relationships should be on equal footing with a splash of compromise. Just think about this when you start dating someone. Clues are always first and foremost in figuring out a pattern or puzzle.

  • AriesBB - Amen! Love your comments about "charming all the ladies". My immediate memory was of Virgo giving me the same Christmas gift two years in a row. A charming, but clearly inexpensive necklace with a little crystal heart. I couldn't help but imagine that he bought them by the dozen to hand out to all his "special friends". I remember how I very nicely pointed out to him that this was the same gift I had received the previous year. He said how "embarassed" he was about this. That his mom had a home-jewelry venture a few years earlier and there was "unsold stock" around. Uh huh. Even if that were true, how unflattering is it that he scrounged around in the "freebies box" to find my Christmas gift? I'm sure he thought he was being very practical.

    I will now use Ariesman as a comparison. We hadn't known each other very long by Valentine's day but he wanted to give me a gift. So through time he figured out that I eat chocolate on a daily basis 🙂 and I snack on nuts at work too. So he figured out exactly what kind of chocolate I preferred and got me a lavish heart-shaped box of good milk-chocolate (all with a variety of nuts - I never even knew they made such a thing, have only ever seen those mixed filling ones) and the box had the real satin floral-brocade cover. Now does this sound too silly to be impressive? The point is he put a lot of thought into trying to give me something he knew I would like, didn't just grab something because he thought he should. It was a little thing but his intentions were big.

    Beautiful day here too. Ariesman just called to see if I want to go fishing with him. Wasn't quite what I had in mind for my day, but as AriesBB says, "a splash of compromise". Actually, I do like fishing just haven't been in years. So should be fun.

  • Hello ladies. Thank you for the response. It's so true what you are saying here. So true. I just don't get WHY US? Why they just can't move on , find someone else and be happy???? Why?

    And you are all so right about them been and acting like children. My friends always told me, that my Virgo is not mature , but I couldn't see it. Now I can!!!! He is so immature. I wonder if he ever change or it's who he is?!

  • Ladies I have another q! Do you all still dating you Virgo men or not? If not, after break up are they still in your life?

    It's really annoying , that even after we broke up the first time my Virgo will write me and tell me how much hi miss me. I mean, I had to move on, but I couldn't bc he would be always there. Now, when we broke up again, he again will write stuff to me. It's not helping. I can't forget about him while he does it. We said good bye to each other 1000000 times, but still……

    So q! I didn't hear from him 4 days now. IS IT IT!????? I will never hear from him or what? Like I said I can't move on, bc I always thing it hope somewhere 😞

  • Hello ladies. Thank you for the response. It's so true what you are saying here. So true. I just don't get  WHY US? Why they just can't move on , find someone else and be happy???? Why?

    And you are all so right about them been and acting like children. My friends always told me, that my Virgo is not mature , but I couldn't see it. Now I can!!!! He is so immature. I wonder if he ever change or it's who he is?!

  • ABB, so true about mature men versus immature ones !

    Tatochka, Virgo men are very intuitive and they can feel which women would fall for their charms. They usually make the yoyo relationship last for as long as possible and usually it's the woman who breaks the relationship, not them. I believe they often have several games going at the same time (see Scorpwithwings' observations some pages ago). I've been living under the same roof with a Virgo man (but not necessarily being intimate) for quite a few years. I can tell you - no, he won't ever mature, despite possible temporary attempts. My advice to you - move on, don't wait, don't hope for his return, it's not in your best interests. Sooner you cut the ties, better chance of healthy life you'll have.

  • Just wanted to say that it's freeing not wondering "why" about this man anymore. Does no good and besides it gave him all my power. No one is that intense that I needed to figure out why he treats me the way he did. That would imply there was something wrong with me (not). The real question should have been directed to myself: why do you allow it? A question so simple yet so complex...

    Happy b-day to all the Aries babies!

  • hey all, this is so awesome to have a huge group of people all chatting away about there virgo men experiences, so here is mine... i am a virgo myself and have had this guy also a virgo very keen to hang out, do coffee, meet for drinks etc. and ive done all of that to date so far.

    i meet him thro a friend who has known him since primary school and got the run down about him as in, age, job, type of person and to be honest he sounded like my type of guy

    so first meeting went down and im driving away with a smile on my face, smitten!

    few more dates went down and the amount of things in common were becoming almost weird but being both virgos its impossible to not have common traits and interests.

    he has pretty much been eager to meet up so this last time i went to his place, had a few beers sitting in his own private beach talking, laughing and comparing stories etc

    then came the conversation about his children which he adores by the way, lets put it this way, he has an ex which they still own a house together and it sounds like she puts the big threats out and he jumps (weak) so anyway one thing leads to another and had a very fun nite, well i thought so, and now he has pretty much fallen off the side of the earth, so i txt him asking how he is, what are your plans for that nite and he tells me he is hanging with kids which is completely ok with me as i have a child as well and they always come first but he states he is staying at there house with the ex that lives there also, i thought hmmm ok so decide to put myself out there by saying i really loved hanging out with him, wasnt sure how he felt etc etc..... im kinda left wondering what went wrong?? 4 days later still nothing..... is this normal for a virgo male to be so full on and then disappear??

  • Coolkharma - Yep, sounds like behavior typical of the Virgo men we've discussed here anyway. He got too close and then ran for the hills. Now all you can do is give him space and see if he comes back. Stinks, but that seems to be the deal.

    So, I'm confused. He is divorced? Yes? What are the threats that his wife puts out there that cause him to jump? That arrangement with staying at the house with his ex is very odd to me, although at the same time these guys are so good at putting intimacy on the back burner that it doesn't mean he has any interest in his ex any more than it's a convenient and free place to sleep. Still...if he is divorced, combined with ex-wife still having a lot of power to pull his strings emotionally, then I see this as a red flag. Someone isn't really done with the relationship perhaps? I'm always suspicious of people who are out of marriages but still can be easily provoked by their ex-spouse. Even if it's just a matter of hurts that still run deep, that's understandable, BUT what it should tell YOU is that they aren't "pulled together" emotionally after the split - i.e. not ready for to put themselves into a new relationship. People who are ready for a relationship don't vanish and do respond when you contact them. Someone who does this either doesn't want a deeper relationship with you, or they don't want a relationship in general. That's my opinion anyway. You need to figure out which it is with him, but in either case this doesn't sound like a guy you want to get involved with if this is what you are going to have to deal with. I don't think you did anything wrong here. Sounds like you were getting along fine and things were progressing and now he's vaporized. He will come back when he is ready, whether you want to be there for him is up to you.

  • Hi ladies,

    Coolkharma, welcome to the thread !

    G4E, I've been thinking about why we allow ourselves to get involved and tolerate this kind of "relationship", and I think the answer is - at first, we can't believe our own eyes when this kind of treatment happens, secondly, we feel compelled to "fix" it, because we can't believe that anyone in their right mind would do that. So we assume there might be something that we are doing wrong, and we try harder and harder to understand it, and then it's too late - are are hooked.

    To illustrate my point, today my Virgo friend has presented me with some food for a thought. He has this friend of a kind, a father of his little student, who is a brilliant scientist, amateur musucian and overall interesting person. They have long chats online (for hours) about all kinds of interesting subjects, but when this friend invites my Virgo friend to socialise in real life, he declines every time under one pretext or another. He feels bad about it and can't understand himself why he is doing it. He can't understand why his online chats with this guy are so interesting, while according to him, when they meet in person their interactions are rather banal (his words). He said that he came to conclusion that what one wants in theory and in practice are entirely different things. He thinks is that it's in human nature, I would say it's in male Virgo's nature, as most people can tolerate a little less than perfect face to face interactions (for example due to people's shyness ). Virgo men need interactions to be "perfect", and free of obligations in order for it to be worth spending their time and energy, which is basically only possible online.

    By the way, the other aspect of it - that's why they have such a trouble of letting go of their ex partners - because they feel free to be less than perfect themselves with the one person who they know well enough not to put up the appearences and pretences. Virgo male are just human after all, deep down. Coolkharma, I would really question the "threats" that your Virgo's ex is making. To me it sounds as just a pretext for not having to change the situation.

  • VS,

    I like your response; most women do tend to be "fixers". I suppose it just takes a wise person to take the emotions out of trying to "fix" things and realise it can't be. I'm glad I came to that point where I'm just as important as this Virgo man thinks he is. I'm not blaming him for being the way he is. He's not as bad as some of the stories I see here but he does appear emotionless and won't let me in. I've decided not to fight my way in. If he wants me he will come to me; if not I'm ok with that. I know he's insecure and has to have everyone like him and it's bothering him to no end that I'm not giving him the attention he's used to. Doesn't make me happy knowing that; just makes me shake my!

    I'm at peace and just happy I'm not driving myself crazy wondering about him all the time. I do respond if he texts or calls me at the job. However, I don't initiate contact ever anymore. Maybe he will just go away in time...

    Ladies it is sooooooooo beautiful out today. I went to church and the service was amazing! Hope everyone else's Sunday is great as mine is proving to be! 🙂

  • Hi everyone, early morning on Monday here in nz, hopefully a beautiful autumn day 🙂 So this Virgo man, I will tell my friends story rather than his which is not to different from each others...

    So he was with his lady for 10 yrs, have a 2 yr old, 5 yr old and 7 yr old, before they broke up they still continued to live together for a while , her sleeping in her room, him in his and they kept raising the children together.he moved out to his own place a few months ago.

    So from what I can make out the relationship ended maybe 10 months ago, so Christmas time a bunch of ppl had a nice evening out me being one, him being also there, he got my number from someone and was texting but I never answered, hahaha don't you hate when u get the wrong number lol, so finally he asked the mutual friend if I was single and maybe we could all get together again for a catch up and drinks, never happened as I decided when I heard that to ask if he was interested in a coffee, I surprised myself as I'm usually shy and just wouldn't even dream of putting myself in a situation I'd deem as uncomfortable , he always did the contacting, always did the chasing, so this last night he said , his ex had mentioned lawyers about the house ( which he inherited when his grandmother passed away) and he started giving her xtra money as well as getting her to sign some papers so the house would go in a trust for the children, which I agree is a good idea on the house thing

    We share same music, he is 4 days other then me and the commen interest seem so uncanny and I liked how he made me laugh so much with his weird quirks (small obsessions of a virgo) I felt like there was a true connection.

    When I finally txt him days after he just replied that he was looking after kids at home I asked him ' at your place of the children's home' he replied at the children's house, followed by its Leroy's birthday and he wants me to......! Seriously!!!!! I just replied ok well I hope I have a nice time, catch u up later, then nothing for days and days.

    So what I do know I am the first person he has been with since his break up, so I get the feeling he has gotten weirded out

  • Coolkharma, possibly your Virgo is having second thoughts about his situation, as Virgo men are very cautious, indecisive and tend to separate "theory" from "practice", as my Virgo friend has just revealed.

    He might still have ambivalent feelings towards his ex, and having made a step towards creating a different reality with you, he might have realised that he is not ready for it. Virgos have difficult time letting go of their ex partners, or anyone for that matter. It's some kind of a hoarding disorder with them - they have to keep everyone in their life. Actually I can perfectly understand that, emotionally speaking, but they take it to extreme.

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