The heart of a Virgo man
Hi mimi / sahana / Jenever(although you'll only read this when you come back )!
I had said that I'd post the story of whats going on with me lately, so I'm going to...
Alright, so about 1 year ago, my friend's sister noticed that me and her best friend(SCORPIO/LIBRA cusp, exactly midnight between 23rd and 24th of October...
She feels very Scorpio though... Leo rising, Aries moon) had a lot of similarities,
-> We take pride in being unique
-> We get addicted to anything easily,
-> Our weird mannerisms,
-> The fact that we tend to think more than we should,
-> The fact we have some similar areas of interest(Science/Technology, Anime, Computers(Even though my interest is in Computer Games and hers is actual programming))
They used to say ''She's you, except in female version''.
Because of this, and the fact that I've never had a girl friend, my friends started to tease me saying ''So when do you two start dating'' and stuff like that...
My friend said he'd give me her contact after I cleared Anatomy(a subject I was having problems with). I didn't clear it in june, so I told my friend ''Looks like you'll have to wait until september to give me her contact ;)''
I was actually just messing with him, because there's no way I would have dared to contact... too shy
Anyway, I didn't clear it in September either(Yes now it is clear xD I finally passed it in february... anatomy is a pain!), so I didn't ask my friend for the contact...
All this time, apparently, her friends were also teasing her about me, the same way my friends were. According to what she has told me, she didn't believe that there actually could be someone that similar to her, but was extremely curious. She also said they used to talk about me often during their lunch breaks.
(And they'd laugh at every single crazy thing I did...yes, because my friend always tells everything to his sister... and his sister always tells everything to her best friend!)
In November, when I invited my friends over to inaugurate my new house(Well it's more like a suite? It's a T0), my friend went on my computer and added her to my MSN... I said 'no' but a part of me didn't care about the shame of looking creepy by adding her out of nowhere, because that part of me just wanted to know the person.
Since I never saw her online the following few weeks, I was already thinking ''Alright, she didn't want to add me... obviously''.
But someday, I went to check my email by coincidence (funny because I never check my email), and there was an email... the email said:
''Hi, I'm I, a friend of C, D's sister
I heard you like anime aswell and are v.crazy like me.
What do you think of talking on msn someday, we'd get to know each other better... and i'd see if it's really true what C says about you
kiss, I* ''
I was really happy because she was v.nice, and the fact she had bothered sending it meant she was interested in knowing me.
I suspected it wasn't really her sending that email... and that it might have been some pressure from my friend's sister.
I called my friend, and he said ''Yeah my sister forced her to send that email. But now you have to reply!''.
(I would have replied even if he didn't tell me... curiosity is often the main thing that drives me)
I replied(took me 2 hours to write a 5-line email.. my brain was going at 500miles per hour).
She replied again...
I replied again(another 2 hours to write a tiny message)...
She added me on MSN..
And one day she logged on MSN and we started talking.
I had lots of fun talking to her.
The following day we talked one more time... towards the end I decided to give her my phone number, but I'm very shy so I was like...(just before leaving)
''Eh, by the way... -my phone number-''
And logged out.
(When I got back I saw her offline message ''Wait... I'll give you mine!'') - I was happy, of course.
We have talked more since then, and found that we are very similar in many ways, but not in the love department... she'd had boyfriends before, and she still seems somewhat broken by some of the things from her past... her life had many problems, from friends betraying her to anorexia problems and to her ditching a boyfriend of hers for absolutely no reason, and still making it seem like it was his fault... which she regrets.
Because of her past experiences, she seems to have painted her world in a very black paint.
When she mentioned her problems, I said: ''...That's it?? No suicide attempts? No running away from home? No cuts? No theft? I'm not scared away that easily xD''
While I wasn't scared away, the first thing I thought was ''Oh no no no no...Not again...'' because a friend I was close with in an online game had died from anorexia 3 years ago, and she seemed to be close to the profile of 2-3 people I knew(including the one who died), and it felt to me that if I got close to her(I didn't like her yet in the 'lovey' way at that time, although I was happy because I thought she might be the first person able to like me the way I am) my life would become very chaotic.
This problem was kind of removed when, in that moment of sadness, when we were talking about myself, I said a metaphor about not being a good idea to glue the pieces of a broken glass ball back together, since it would just get dropped again, and be broken once more(the glass ball was me).
She was mad at me and said ''I feared this might happen. That you would think I liked you or wanted to like you... etc'' and I thought she wouldn't ever want to talk to me again... but still I sent her a text message before I went to sleep and I shed some tears, that night... woke up 1 hour and half later and ran to my cellphone to see if I had replies, and I did... so I kept talking to her... and about 2 hours later she wasn't mad at me anymore (oh my god... why does this happen, trying to give me a heart attack!??).
She ended up saying 'as long as you don't fall for me it's all fine'... and I foolishly said 'don't worry, once I get the first signs I'll go away for a while, until it stops'.
Over the next weeks we kept talking through MSN or text messages and at some point she said she wanted to ask me out(no idea if she meant a date, but probably not, I figured it's only so we meet in real life). We both had exams in january and february, though, so we didn't talk about that too much... at some point she reminded me that she still wanted to ask me out.. and a few days later I asked her to check when she has time, so we could meet up.
She said something like ''I would like it it was on the 14th of february... haha it'd be funny, but I have an exam on the 15th... so can it be on the 16th?''
I somehow don't really like when people say those insinuations unless they actually mean it, but still I was happy at that message, since 14th feb was Valentine's day.
On the weekend before when we were supposed to meet up she asked to postpone(''Please please can it be friday? I'll make it up to you, I promise!'') it until friday because she was having a tough week with exams and things for university, and of course I said it's fine.
On friday we finally met... since she had made fun of how I was eating so much white chocolate and ice cream in order to motivate me for studying, during exams, I decided to take a tablet of white chocolate to give her, especially since I figured she might give me one also, if she liked me...(she had said something a few days before, as a joke ''hehe did you want a homemade chocolate like in anime, or a white chocolate tablet is fine?'').
When we met, as soon as we met she said 'i have something for you'... I responded immediately 'me too', and i take out the chocolate tablet... and she took out a book >_< I felt like an idiot... Guess what... she forgot to remove the price tag... 19.81 euros... (near 30 dollars, I think).
Since she's forgetful like me, I'm pretty sure it was a genuine mistake, and that she did forget to remove it... which didn't stop me from feeling stupid, since she doesn't work... and she uses the cheapest internet she has available...
We went to have something to eat(I ordered a toast and a coffee with milk, she ordered an orange juice and a toast), to chat a bit... I always eat everything when I'm with my friends... hell, sometimes I even finish off the rest of my friends' toasts if they dont feel too hungry.
SOMEHOW, I was so focused and happy I was finally talking to her, that I only ate like 1/6th of my toast, and hadn't touched the coffee with milk at all...
My friends wouldn't have believed it!
I had promised her that i'd play guitar for her, so I asked if she wanted to hear, and she said yes so we decided to go to my place.
Just as we got out of the cafe, I was still so stunned that she was so interesting that I didn't even notice a red sign and almost got run over by a car.
A bit later, it was her who almost got run over...well not really, the car was parking but it seemed like it was going to hit her... I said ''watch out for the car!!'' and she moved aside...
We kept chatting as we walked on the way to my place, and when we finally got there, I played guitar for her, and we talked a bit more... when we realized it, it was already near 8pm... I had to catch a train at 8:26 to go visit my parents that weekend! She had offered to give me a ride to the station, so we walked to her car, which was far away... and it was cold outside.
She was feeling cold and at some point got close to me, and I figured she wanted me to hug her?(!???) and I put my left arm around her as we walked... she didn't make an effort to push me away or to move further from me or to remove my arm... but still, I felt somewhat useless since my arm wasn't too big and my coat wasn't too warm, so after a few moments I removed my arm and we kept walking.
We were talking and walked past her car without noticing it(See, that's what happens when 2 forgetful people meet)... and then we went back and found the car.
When we got to the station, I kind of wanted to kiss, but it was our first meeting and I didn't see any signs as I looked at her, so I just gave her a kiss on each cheek and got out of the car... then I opened the door, got in again and said ''Hey, I gave you 2 kisses, you didn't give me any!'' and I turned my cheek at her and she kissed me on the cheek.
It was simple, but I still flew above the clouds for a second, her lips were very soft.
And... that's the first time I went out with a girl. Don't know if it went well or not because I don't have anything to compare it to, but it didn't go too bad, I guess.
Anyway, we talked again later that day, and following day... and we agreed to meet again on monday.
She had an exam on monday, so I didn't text her on sunday so she could focus... but near 11pm she sent me message out of nowhere saying
''Just sending you a kiss Goodnight Di **''
I was supposedly supposed to cook for her and we'd play playstation 3... and I spent the afternoon cooking and all... but at 6pm on monday, at the time she was supposed to come, after her exam, she sent me a text message saying she's going to spain(she's there for this semester, until july), earlier than planned, and had to go pack her stuff... she even asked ''You won't be upset, right?''
I said ''I'm not upset... you'll make it up to me next time... if you remember. But I would've liked to see you one more time before you went to spain.''...
Well I WAS upset, but I thought to myself ''She could've just come for dinner before going to pack her stuff, if she really wanted to... but I'm not going to let the fact that she didn't want to come get me down''.
Of course I cooled down over the night, because she probably had a lot of stuff to pack... it's not like she didn't want to come at all... maybe she didn't just wish for it hard enough.
I tried to call her on tuesday night to say goodbye before she went to spain, but she didn't pick up, and so I sent her a text message.
On wednesday, she left to spain. Sent me a text message asking how my classes are going, and saying which sounded to me like
''bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
bla bla lots of kisses **''
We didn't talk for a while and I missed her, but I had no way to contact, since I thought she'd get charged money for receiving text messages when she's outside Portugal, so I didn't want to burn her money like that(Fortunately she doesn't get charged for text messages, I found out... only for calls).
I was all sad because I thought ''now I'll only talk to her in july... in 3 months she'll have forgotten me for sure :('' but a week later she logged on MSN... I thought ''no way... is this a dream?'', and she talked to me (NOTE: She claims she only logs on MSN to talk to me... so the fact she logged on means she remembered me).
Well, we talked for a while... and she said something that really touched me:
''I missed you... independantly of reciprocity or not''
I said 'me too' but there was so much more I wanted to say...
After that we talked on last tuesday, and yesterday... somehow both of them were nights on which I had dinners with my group of friends, but I was late for both dinners, because I love talking to her.
(Note: When she was in Portugal we used to talk for hours straight... sometimes from like 10pm... till 7am xD)
I plan to ask her whether I should disappear for a while or if it would also hurt her if I disappeared(since I'm completely lovestruck), when she comes back... or maybe if I go visit her, although if I do visit her she will know that I like her just from the fact that I'm visiting.
On a lower note...
I once asked her what's the place that makes her feel happiest... and she said ''anywhere where I can gaze at the stars''
So I want to give her one of these... although since I don't work, it'd mean the savings of a few months...
Visiting her plus buying the planetarium comes down to 375 dollar total, without including the costs of one night i'd stay there(probably in the cheapest possible place xD... but it's just 1 night anyway, i'd go on friday-sleep on bus- arrive on saturday, sleep there sat-sun, bus on sunday -sleep on bus, arrive here on monday)
I know it's a bit 'heavy' considering we're not dating or anything... but at least the home planetarium is something I know she will like... and I want to give her something so she can remember me... it's very unfair that she gave me that book, and whenever I look at the book I think of her T_T.
(Also, it does taste of a sweet kind of vengeance a little hehe, since she gave me a 20e book when I gave her a 1.5e tablet!)
Although I'd like to know if she does like me... I don't want to feel like a j a c k a s s if she's not really into me, and I'm reading things that are not really signals. I might just ask, but I wouldn't even dream of asking it unless we're face-to-face. And to be face-to-face with her I'd have to go visit. And if I visit, it's already pointless to say I like her, since it's so obvious.
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I guess I'll just do 1 thing at a time, instead of suddenly burning all my savings.
I just have to make sure that when she does eat something I make, it's good enough to be worth 30dollars! Hehehehe.
I felt a lot more brave overnight, especially after a slight moment of panic after reading about the 2012/Ascencion topic.
I couldn't sleep until 4 AM, was walking relentlessly around the house, nonstop, thinking.
(Somehow this might be related to the whole current Venus in Aries, Leo in Mars situation.)
I decided that I have one last thing I need to do before my 'quest' is done. I have to find what I've been looking for since I can remember.
So when today, I heard from my friend that the girl is losing motivation for being in Spain, scared that her grades will go down, and that she wanted to come back, I thought immediately ''ok maybe 1% of the reason she wants to come back includes me?'' and I thought to cheer her up.
I wanted sort of an excuse to send it to her, otherwise it'd be an extremely(even more) obvious ''Hey, I like you'' which I feared would scare her away... so I sent her an email saying happy woman's day, and attached a file of me playing guitar and singing (I'm not a very good singer but it's the thought that counts, I think... and I did my best!)...
I sang that song by Sixpence none the richer, ''Kiss me''.
(Of course where it says 'You wear those shoes and then we'll wear that dress'', I had to say ''I'll wear those shoes and then you'll wear that dress'',but other than that I just kept to the lyrics.)
I don't know if she will respond well to that... I sent it this morning, and she didn't reply(when I sent her it, I also texted her saying to check her email).
Either she's mad or she's busy... I'm hoping for the latter.
But at least I'm happy I did something.
I showed it to 2 online friends of mine, and they said it's good... I think it was good, myself... didn't mess up with the tone, the 'entrance' wasn't too strong so it doesn't scare the listener when my voice starts, I didn't fail the sound too badly... overall I'd say 4/5.
Anyway I doubt I have the guts to be more straightforward than this, so this is pretty much the closest I can go... hell, I haven't tried anything along these lines for 10 years, when I sent a girl a poem and she didn't even read it and threw it in the garbage... I didn't write any poems for like 8 years because of that, though I'm over it now.
-Crossing my fingers!!-
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Mimi, lol, don't get so down on me. It's just been hectic. Got home late Tuesday and much to catch up with last night. Things are in upheaval at work (a situation that developed last Friday). Short answer is things went wonderfully with Mr. Scorp. Was as if we'd seen each other yesterday, just picking up where we left off. Very calm and relaxed - just like old friends. We were together nearly the entire time and even when I was spending time with my family he came along. (My family really enjoyed him as well). So what happens next, I do not know. I left one sad puppy behind when I left. I could probably talk more, but have a meeting at school for the kids so must run.
Meanwhile, as far as Virgo goes, not a word from him. No welcome back, no how's your sick mom, no what's happening with the craziness at work, no I miss you. Nothing.
Of course, having said that, he'll probably turn up on my doorstep tonight, lol. Okay, not likely, but so often, just when I think things are resolved between us, he goes and does something unexpected.
Thanks for your thoughtful and kind words Mimi. You have grown to feel like a friend to me too and believe me, you do much by just by being there as you have.
Ok, I am running late, so must get going here.
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I was with my ex bf whos was virgo for almost 3 yrs. i really trusted his hear/feelingst for me and really opened up my heart to him we did get close.but towards the end of the relatioship i couldnt figgure him out anymore..he was so closed off pushed me away..he wasnt good at communicating. then i found out there was a grl he was spending his timme with and i was really heart broken, but even after the break up he would tell me that im the one he wants to marry, that he really does what to be with me (dont really believe things he say anymore)....its funny he would tell me those things when he is spending his time with another grl..and when i think back i wonder if he ever really did cared or loved me..
any thoughts on things?
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hi mimi thanks for the reply,
right after our breakup, he started spending alot of his time with the grl. he still conrtacted me of and on said nice things (not sure if he meant it or not) missess me etc. at one point after the break up we even talked bout marriage dont even know why...i guess just like the earlier post i was reading, their words REALLY dont match up their actions...
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First of all, welcome back Jenever ^, glad to hear things went well with Mr.Scorpio.
Big developments(ish) on my side also... the girl was already on her way back to Portugal when I sent the email(she decided to come back...), so she only replied the following day(Tuesday).
Her reply asked simply 'Di... what are you doing tomorrow?'
I only found out that she was already in Portugal that same day, at night... So when at 1:30pm she asked me where I was(undoubtedly hoping to surprise me), I was hardly surprised... but I had a class at 2pm and was already on the way to university.
Apparently she wanted to drop by to drive me to university(Whaaa???), so we ended up instead of that having lunch today... it went well and during lunch we agreed to go to movies monday(she wanted to be with me a whole day but that'd have to wait till next friday, and I said ''but next friday is so far away...'' so we decided on going to watch Alice in Wonderland on monday evening... there was one awkward moment though... as she was about to enter her car at the end, she took a long time next to the car, and we both went a bit silent, or hesitant... and at some point I asked ''are you getting in the car?'' she said ''I don't feel like it :)''.
I'm almost positive she was expecting me to kiss her at that time, but I wasn't sure that she wanted it at that time... since I tend to try to understand things with my mind, I only understand things later, when I have time to think about them... not at the moment they happen...
Since we both went home(when she said 'Cya Di!', and I said 'Cya I-chan' she didn't seem upset, by her tone), she hasn't talked to me yet... I asked if she'd come online on msn today, and she said yes...but she never showed up. I sent her 2 text messages with things I found interesting when surfing the inet, and she didn't reply yet.
Since there was no reply to last 2 text messages(one at 5pm, one at 10:30pm), I'm not going to text anymore before she replies. I really hope she at least says something tomorrow so I know she's not upset at me, and that we're still going out on monday.
At least now I know she's interested(or was, today, at least).
I really like her, I just hate that I'm so bad at expressing feelings in person, and at taking initiative... but since she isn't the kind that takes initiative, I'll do it.
But I defenitely want to say something along the lines of 'I know i'm not very good at expressing my true feelings, and I'm not the kind to take the first step, but I like you so much that for you i'll make an exception.'
...even though it probably sounds lame.
It's annoying that to learn to kiss, I have to do it exactly with the person that matters most... almost scares me out of my socks, but I'm not running away.
im not sure either...thats why he got me so confused even after the break up.but thank you for you insights
(Sorry for double post, but I mean upset that I did not go for the kiss, not the opposite... I wish I had gone for it though, thinking of it from a distance makes it look so obvious...)
Even though the ''no kiss'' thing happened after we had agreed to go to Alice in Wonderland on monday, I hope that it's not cancelled... and I hope that Spica shines brighter than ever on monday xD oh, Antares too! Antares too!
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I do not want to intrude or anything but since this is called "a virgos heart" and that you ladies seem to know and understand these issues a lot more than me, I will just go ahead and post my question anyways. Hope you don't mind.
I am a gemini (June 8th) and recently met a Virgo man (B-day August 24th) on vacation staying at my house. He has tried to get with me for 2 weeks before we finally got together. After that, he covered me with attention and love and everything went perfectly between the two of us. While he was here, we were doing everything together and he was extremely affectionate, in public as well. The night before he left, he told me I was a part of his life now...
He left a little less than 2 weeks ago. He lives far, we do email each other. But I want him to come back or to get me to come visit him. Is this relationship doomed? My heart is so fond of him. Thank you.
SamRiz - Doomed, I don't think so, but be prepared for some challenges if he's anything like the Virgo's some of us posting here have been dealing with. On the plus side, I am pretty sure he wouldn't have invested anything of himself in you if he didn't find you attractive in all ways. If he is going to see you again, it will have to be his idea some how. If you push him, you will push him away would be my guess. But it sounds like you've got his attention and that's a real milestone in and of itself. Good luck to you, I really do hope things evolve for you two, in spite of the distance...anything is possible right!
Thank you Jenever, I was really happy to find your reply. Since the last time I posted this, me and virgo had an online chat and he showed a lot of attention in his words. He did mention many comments saying he preferred being back here instead of where he is now. Unfortunately, he is extremely far from here, and to me, unless he asks for me to wait for him or says that he is planning on coming back, I feel like all hope is lost. We both seem (I know I am for sure) extremely into each other, and he mentioned he liked me so much and that he was going crazy, and wanted to start skyping, because he wanted to see me.. I keep on letting him know I wouldnt mind him coming back but the work situation implies he will be home, dont know for how long. We both have people who find us attractive and get a lot of attention. This seems to be why I am so worried. I guess, I just wish I could find a way to bring him back.
Kind of confused... but still feeling the buzz of being around him and he is in my thoughts a lot more than I would like him to, since he is so far..
Please let me know what you think!
Hope you are having the best of luck with your virgo
Thanks again for your answer