The heart of a Virgo man

  • In the moment we move on, they reappear. I don't know what to tell you, AnonymousScorp. They can have this magic around them, better than dream style. But, ... Rarely they deliver. They are so indecisive!

  • AnonymousScorp - don't bet on it. Totitoti is right. They have a way of reappearing just when you're in a good place.

    Speaking of dreams and indecision, Totitoti, your comment reminded me of a dream I had back in April. Virgo and I were in a phase where we were talking fairly regularly and had even met for dinner a couple of times. Just enough that I started to think that just maybe we still had a chance at some kind of "normal" friendship. But I guess my subconscious knew better because in the dream I was walking through a huge warehouse district. Block after block of big buildings and the buildings were drab brown cement, with no windows. There was nothing but empty road and cement sidewalks and utility poles. Nothing green, no trees, not even weeds growing in the pavement. Lifeless and monotonous and dull. I was headed "out", as in getting out of town. Suddenly Virgo was behind me, he grabbed my arm and spun me around. "Why can't you just decide!" he yelled. He was very angry. I very calmly replied, "because you never could" and I simply turned and kept on walking.

    Makes total sense that in my dream my decision to move away from our go-nowhere situation and made him angry. Since he's so terrible at taking responsibility and making decisions, and instead lives everyday in a reactive mode, I imagine many decisive people make him angry. And I love how in the dream he laid it off on me, "why can't YOU just decide Jenever!" And see, it doesn't even matter in the dream that it was never really clear what decision I was being expected to make, because no decision was ever made about anything in all the time we've known each other. That was the whole point of the dream. Just an endless stream of confusion and emotional reaction back and forth that leads nowhere.

    It was about a week after the dream that Virgo found a reason to actually get angry with me. He took some petty issue and completely blew it up. That's his way of running. Every time we start to get along for a while, he does something like this. Creates a conflict where none exists. It was actually very helpful that my subconscious sent me the dream message to tell me, "get's about time to get ditched again". A little reminder to keep my focus on the truth of the situation. So the following week when it did come to pass, I didn't stay upset for very long. Oh, it will always upset me a little, but this cycle he goes through makes me weary at this point. All these years and he still can't decide if he loves me or he hates me.

  • That's pretty interesting, and it shows that he is really affecting you to your core. Maybe you guys have a bit of a telepathic connection.

    It's funny, because I actually try to have dreams of mine, and its only happened twice. In one, I was sitting at his house, waiting for him in his living room. His wife and kids were playing, and it was as though I was invisible. A fly on the wall, watching.. in a place I did not belong. The other dream was also brief. I was at home, and my doorbell rang. I answered, and it was him. As soon as I answered the door, he leaned in and kissed me. He said, I told you I'd come for you. Then I woke up.

    I do have the feeling that there is unfinished business, but with all of this silence I think the only thing left to do is assume he isn't coming back.

  • Weird AnonymousScorp, I had a similar dream where I was at Virgo's house. (He was still married at the time). His kids were there also, but I wasn't invisible. We were all talking and getting along just great. His wife was outside going for a walk. We could even see her out the window. It was winter and she was wearing a bright red coat. I was feeling nervous because she didn't know I was there, but everyone else was oblivious to the fact that I didn't belong there.

    "Funnier" too is that my Virgo also said, in person, not in a dream, "someday I'll be back to stay". Guess I didn't realize just how long "someday" was to Virgo, lol. I always have a sense of "unfinished business" between Virgo and I. When he was married it was obvious that we couldn't have anything more together. Since the divorce, a point when he would have been totally welcome into my life, he has stayed involved just enough to keep me in the picture, but still, we never could have anything more together - he always ran (aka started a conflict) if things got "too close". So the sense of "unfinished business" will always exist for me...the "what if" question as in "what if we had ever given things between us a real chance?" I was willing, he talked like he was trying, but he really wasn't. His words told one story and his actions another.

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  • Um..."Outlook Customer Care" - perhaps you should stick with software issues, because if you read this thread you won't find too many cases where "Virgo" and "respect" can be used in the same sentence. Not with the cases that have appeared here.

  • Our subconscious mind always knows how the future will unfold. That's why you made a definite decision to let him go, Jen. That's why you had strength to do it. However, I'm always having very passionate dreams that include "my" Virgo, even though him and I were never intimate. They are so strange. All talk. When they need to back up their words with actions they disappear. But, I'm sure there is some goodness in them. Otherwise, we are mad women.

  • I also have a feeling of "unfinished business" and "telepathic connection". So weird. Never had it with any other man. Not even to the man I was married to.

  • Hahaha I wish this website had a "like" feature for some of these comments.

    I didn't have the connection with my ex husband either. He had an Aquarian Venus. I will NEVER date/marry a man again with heavy Aqua in his chart. Waaaaaay too aloof for a Scorpio.

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  • AnonymousScorp, I've been married to a Taurus man. There was no connection between us, I don't know how I stayed married to him for 8 years. Virgo, on the other hand, is a psychotic version of me in a male shape. We just have so many things in common! Sad he is so complicated and confusing. I think he is highly sensitive,even though he plays a macho type role. Suits him well, but destroys him inside... Shall I send him a link to this thread to read it?!

  • The virgo sent me a text today telling me he was engaged. I'm still ignoring him...

  • Wtf? Engaged?? So.... then... either that's a ploy for attention, or he had a very serious relationship on the side. Either way, a douchey move.

  • Yes,very douches. But, it got me somehow... Can't really define the feeling. I feel sorry for the woman,though.

  • Hey Totitoti, I had to go back to your first post and refresh on your full story. So you met this guy, he ran hot an cold for five months. Dropped off the map through the whole time and came back when it suited him. Planned a getaway trip with you then bailed out at the last minute. From what I can tell you haven't responded to him in close to two months? So he popped up in the middle of the night with a pointless text. Now, out of the blue he thinks it's important to tell you that he is now engaged?

    Agree with AnonymousScorp, he either had someone else all along (would actually explain his erratic/secret behavior) or he's trying to shock you into a response. If he really wanted to talk to you, he would pick up the phone and call. Honestly, I feel like this text to tell you that he's engaged, is cruel on his part. What other reason could there be to tell you this other than an attempt to hurt you? If he felt he owed you an explanation, this is a cowardly way to do it. He is FORTY years old! Man up!

    You know he could have NEVER told you about the engagement and your life would have gone on perfectly fine. He could have taken the clue that when you stopped responding to him, you were done with him. But despite him having a woman in his life that he supposedly loves so much he wants to marry her, something in him can't stop himself from reconnecting with you. Don't make the mistake of pretending it's love that is drawing him back to you. WHO does this man love? If it's the woman he plans to marry, we should all feel sorry for her, because his mind is clearly not focused on their relationship.

    Maybe you ignoring him affected his ego. How dare you cut him off Totitoti!! How dare you not take the bait to go groveling back to him after that middle of the night text! The nerve! Now who is going to stroke his ego on the side of his "real" relationship? So in my opinion, this latest newsflash seems like a slap in the face for you. To let you know you are not "worthy", it's like him saying, "hey, look at me, I don't need you, I have a fiancé!"

    What a piece of work this guy is.

  • Jen thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I sent him a congratulations text and a text for a happy birthday and best wishes since I am a nice person,after all. At first it felt like something stabbed me in my heart, but later he just seemed pathetic in my eyes. He answered me - shame, I could have rocked your world. My answer- no, you could have never rocked my world, only a man can do that. He hasn't responded. Yes, probably he was engaged while twisting my mind. Just awful.

  • So, after he stated that he didn't want things to be shallow and s*xual he turns around now and taunts you with, "shame, I could have rocked your world"?? I'm assuming he meant in bed. That's what men usually mean when they say that. So now he is a hypocrite and a pathetic man to think that he could turn around and try to make this your fault.

    What is such a shame here? That you didn't chase him? That you didn't stick around long enough to get your world rocked? Is he upset because he's really the one who missed out...see now he'll never know what it might have been like to be with you. He's the loser here, not you, and it's his fault because he didn't try to make something real work between you.

    Oh sure, he may be cute, interesting, and enjoyable conversation, but he has demonstrated that he is not a kind or caring man. Towards you or his fiancé (if there really is one - don't be surprised when he comes back telling you that his engagement fell apart). That is why you can choose to be his friend if you want, but how he has treated you, and how he is now treating you, that is who he is. If he were different, things would be different.

    Kudos to you for taking the high road, wishing him well, and adding that bit of truth about being "a man". Ouch, I bet that took him by surprise. It will be interesting to see how long before he contacts you again. I suspect he will...guys like this just love the challenge. And I mean that literally, they like the challenge, but have no sincere interest in a healthy relationship. 😞

  • Yes, the world rocking is related to his masculine power I assume. You think he will contact me again? I do not know why he would do that. But, one can expect many things these days. I do feel bad , but not desperately bad. It's just how people play games astonishes me.

  • I think he would contact you again, and not because he even has any real reason to do so. He would do it simply because he feels like it. Just to see what happens, but still without any intention of doing anything more about it.

    Have you tried googling his name and address (if you have it). Seems like you should be able to figure out if he's married. Usually even the online directories that you have to pay for offer enough basic, free info to see if there's a spouse in the picture. Give it a try. You might feel better if you knew the truth.

    Agree, it is astonishing the games people play without any conscience about it, but as I mentioned a while back, some people are born without a conscience. They don't have feelings. He may be one of them. My Virgo lies and manipulates as easily as he breathes. He knows he lies but doesn't seem able/willing to stop himself. It's a completely natural state of being to him. "Living in the moment", is how he would frame it, unconcerned with the consequences. But if it's any consolation, time has proven (to me) that as often as his lies get him what he wants, just as often they bring him a lot of what he doesn't want as well. Sometimes I've thought maybe that made him a little sad, but it never lasted more than a minute. I think he actually likes the drama. It excites his mind.

  • I've checked him through some mutual friends.He isn't married. But also, nobody knew he got engaged. It would be very easy for me to think he is a man without conscious. But, there is something very special about him, it is so confusing. You are still with your Virgo? These men really have something about them.

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