The heart of a Virgo man
Thanks everyone.....my Aquarius is still doing what he has always done...still cheating on his wife, I am sure she knows it and just doesn't care. (he is still friends with my brother so I still have to hear about him)
My son is an Aquarius and is a really good person so I do know not all Aquarians are so deceptive and deceitful, but I do think they all tend to be a bit selfish.
I have finally moved on and do not love him anymore which is a miracle in itself, something I was never able to do before. I know if he ever comes knocking on my door again, I will slam it in his face....a huge step for me!! I do think we were meant to be together....that he was meant to learn his life lessons and he completely failed. I felt a bit obligated to try to help him along his spiritual path and I ended up sacrificing myself....I should have not put myself in so much harms way for so long. Live and learn....my life has taken a totally different direction spiritually because of his failures and I am looking forward to seeing what blessings are being brought my way!!
You all such loving and compassionate souls.....I am so grateful for our little community here!!
Peace and blessings everyone!
Hope everyone had a good Christmas!!
I am sitting home alone, it's a blizzard outside, hubby is plowing snow sine early morning and daughter is at in-laws for school break.
We got a day off due to snow and I have been alone all day, very unusual for me.
Neighbor Virgo is also gone, he did end up going home for the holidays at the last minute.
I have had a lot to think about. I honestly wish that he would not return and stays away.
I really need him to go because having him in my life will not let me put this behind and move on.
But he will be back as his things are all here, but he is moving out since the house will be put up for sale. We'll see, heard that talk for almost a year now, hopefully this time things will change.
I keep reading this thread and finding a lot of good information here on Virgos of course, but also on relationships in general.
I was reading back on pages 200-218 where it was brought up that Virgos hold grudges and need revenge. Most Virgos here are married and cheaters or eternal bachelors going back and forth between women or simply not being able to truly commit.
I am probably a minority here, being a married woman who was cheating with Virgo.
It is interesting to get the OW point of view from lots of you as it helps me to understand my Virgo a little better. But women and men are different.
I especially admire you Jen since you so strongly stood by your Virgo's side, you were being honest, open and sincere. I never got that from my Virgo, but I understand that Virgos and specially males have bigger egos.
I have been keeping my distance from him and generally we get along ok, but I have understood that I still have feelings for him and everytime I see him, those feeling resurface.
My mind tells me, that we would never work, and that is fine. But I know that he will always stay secretive. That is the thing with Virgos. We can open up and spill our guts but we will never really know the depths of them. Starting to think there is nothing there. Like ABB and VS pointed out, they have this mysterious aura about them that charms women but underneath you will find emptiness. What a disappointment.
I found something out about my Virgo, and would just like to get your input on this.
Like I said, he has never been in a real relationship as far as married or living together, mostly LDR-s. I know that in the years he has lived here, he dated a girl, who lived in other state and he went to visit her. She never came here.
I never looked at Virgo's pictures on Facebook but couple of months ago was just browsing it and you really can put together somebody's life from there. Him and this woman go back to high school when they started dating, she had a lot of pictures of them together, they are from the same town. She is a pretty lady, who is very well educated, several degrees and has quite a career going on. She is Taurus.
So one time I asked Virgo randomly about her, I know they saw each-other this summer at a concert, they have a lot of mutual friends from college. He said that they have been in an on-off relationship since high school, so almost 20 years!!!!! He said that now they are just friends!!
What is it with Virgos and keeping everyone as friends????
When he told me that I was like, vow, you guys couldn't figure it out in all this time.
He said that they both have have other relationships in between and she almost got married.
I could tell that the was happy that she didn't and said that they are both hopeless in relationships. I don't get it.
I asked if they every talked about marriage and kids, and he said no. I find that hard to believe.
Well, maybe she is a careerwoman and doesn't want a family. On one of the facebook comments she did mention someting about what their kids would look like. Also there was a Valentine's day card from last year from her saying I love you.
I asked Virgo straight out if she is the love of his life and he hesitated and said that yes, he will always have feelings for her. But they just eventually gave up cause could not get over the "hump". With his lack of communication and general passiveness I am not surprized at all, just wondering what is her stand on things. Was it Virgo or was it both?
I don't doubt for a moment that she is an intelligent and wonderful woman. In case she has been waiting for all these years for Virgo to get his act together, I feel for her.
I thought that since me and Virgo are suppose to me friends now, we can talk about relationships openly, but he keeps everything secretive. He is not interested in looking for solutions, he is content playing the victim and saying that his life and things "just did not work out". Sad how easily they give up.
Well, maybe I am other extreme, I hold on stubbornly.
And that's the thing with my marriage, I guess it is not that bad..
Wishing everyone a beautiful New Year and great relationships!
Stick with your marriage--make that work. Focus your attention on that instead of Virgo, isn't that what you're supposed to do anyway? Just food for thought.
I ended things with new Virgo; he just didnt "do it" for me. He accepted my decision gracefully yet I sensed he was very sad with my decision. Yet he was pleased with my honesty. Tonight I went to a party and last Virgo was there. Said he was hurt I blocked him from calling/texting. Said if he didnt see me tonight I would have never reached out to him. He was correct. We chatted had a great time, even kissed. However I want to leave things as they are and we should continue to go on not communicating. I told him why I just "stopped". Would you believe it he understood that he was being vague about his feelings for me and thus my decision to "stop"? I couldn't believe it either! Still...nothing has changed as far as I'm concerned. I'm happy and stress-free; just the way I like it.
I cannot wait to see what 2013 has in store for me! I feel I going to fall in love, be prosperous, and just have this fabulous life! An early HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
Hi you guys, hope everyone has been enjoying good days.
Icrabyou, maybe Virgo's Taurus friend knows him too well to want anything serious with him, or to want him around all the time. If he's in constant victim-mentality, maybe he's just a bummer. If I were you I'd take note of the fact that she's an intelligent, attractive, accomplished woman who is not in a relationship with him after 20 years. One, or both of them, didn't want to get "past the hump". Reconciling themselves to being "hopeless in relationships" is a very tidy way to avoid commitment. Maybe two commitment-phobes actually make a perfect relationship. I'm not being critical, I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe myself these days.
Gem - You have my curiousity up here, what happened? Last we heard from you your new Virgo was "all that". What changed? Interesting comment from old Virgo: "Said if he didnt see me tonight I would have never reached out to him". Does that mean that he wouldn't have reached out to you at some point? Or would he have just accepted that you were gone from his life? Would he have tried? But as you say, that discussion doesn't change anything. I can totally believe that he understands everything that has gone on between you two...and can't do anything with it. Until he can understand what he wants with you what else can there be? What does he want or expect with/from you?
Agh, I'm not feeling well here so must stop. All kinds of "bugs" going around and I'm thinking one has finally caught me. Feel feverish and chilled.
Gem - the best and the most that any of us can ever be is what we believe - so if that's what you expect in the new year then I think that's what you will find!
New Virgo had everything going for him; everything I like. However after the initial newness wore off (very quickly) I realized we have alot in common but "it" wasn't there. No chemistry--and he bored me to death. The second date I could barely stay awake at dinner. I even suggested we go to his place to talk some more to give it a chance to be a better date. When we got there he showed me around and then began talking about boring stuff--again. I tried diverting the conversation but it just didn't work. In the days after he talked about another date but I had things planned and he had to know EVERY detail which made me very annoyed. More boring phone calls until I found myself not picking up his calls. Where we had been communicating everyday it went to every 2 days or so. Before, I looked forward to seeing him, then I began to dread it. So I didn't want to go into 2013 with this feeling I decided to tell him it wasn't working. The day I was to tell him; he said he needed to talk to me, but nothing bad. I was thinking that's great I can tell him then. He called and was being very boring again and finally I asked him what it was that he had to tell me. He dramatically asked if I was sitting down. I said yes. Then he proceeded to tell me how much I meant to him and how I brought a sense of peace and calm to his world sense he met me! I was floored! I couldn't tell him then. so I did 2 days later. He was trying to tell me that 2013 would be great for him especially since he met me. I thought that was a good time to tell him how I actually fel so I did. He said ok but kept saying what a good man he was and how he was a catch, etc. How he used to be with alot of women and how he was ready to settle down and buy a house (in the area I wanted to purchase), etc. Like he was trying to get me to change my mind. Not. He texted me last night accusing me of not just "being to myself" (as I told him I would be) because I posted new pictures on the dating site on which I met him. I didn't reply; just deleted the text; there's really no sense in responding to that--I don't feel I owe him any explanation for posting pictures! Then a few hours later I got a blocked phone call. Something tells me it was him but I didn't answer. I don't know why he'd call and block his number but I just have a feeling it was him. I hope he won't become a stalker! I'm going to block any further texts and calls from him today.
I don't feel badly that I ended things with new Virgo; I feel relieved. I feel it was too soon for me to get involved in anything too intense and I know he wanted a relationship with me. It was better that I told him sooner than later. And I definitely didn't want to do what last Virgo did to me--lead me on with no intentions of anything serious. Oh! I did unblock last Virgo just to tell him I made it home safely from the party as he requested. I told him it was good seeing him again even if it was the last time and wished him the best. His response (almost immediate) was that he wished I was lying beside him and that I looked good as usual. I didn't respond and I need to put his number back on block! Jen to answer your question, when I told him that no, I wouldn't have reached out to him had I not seen him at the party, I did ask him why didn't he try. He said he did twice (he emailed me at work) and I didn't respond so he stopped. I told him he should have tried harder, to which he laughed, lol. So there you are. I told him I got tired of his wishy/washy ways. He laughed at that and said that I was the one who was wishy/washy. I told him I was never wishy/washy in my feelings toward him--they always remained the same. I told him he was the one who said he was in love with me in one email and that he COULD fall in love with me in the next email. He agreed that was confusing. Said he WAS in love with me then and still was! I laughed and told him he was such a liar! Sorry this was so long!
As I said before nothing has changed and I will take some time for myself; at least a few months before dating again. I need to make sure I'm emotionally available to someone and I'm not right now. New Virgo was much too soon. Maybe he was boring because I was emotionally drained and just not into it. I don't know. I might have made a mistake in getting rid of him but I'm willing to take that risk in order to be happy right now...
Gem - No matter what other reasons played in your decision, I think what matters is that boring is boring. You'll never have a satisfying relationship with someone who doesn't keep you interested in what you have together. I think this is similar to how things were going between me and Ariesman. I have moments when I think about what a good man he is and wonder if I made a mistake letting him go. You know I texted him a while back. Things had literally just drifted apart. Two months had passed and I was curious if there were ill feelings. Nothing was ever said. I was feeling okay with the rift - was he?
He said that he figured I could do better than him. Well, I suppose if he thinks that I can do better than him and that he was "sure that the perfect guy is out there somewhere for me", then it must be true. Maybe that was my cue to say, "oh no, you are wrong - you are perfect!" But that wasn't true or we wouldn't have drifted apart. I would have tried harder. He would have tried harder. But no one was trying. My heart wasn't in it. So there it is. What I don't need is a man who feels unworthy of a relationship with me and all the stuff that goes with that.
Your old Virgo sounds like a game. "You are wishy-washy", "no, YOU were wishy-washy!", back and forth. How about everyone just saying what they want and feel outright? Do you think it's possible that he really means it when he says he still loves you? I guess if that's true then the thing that needs to be addressed is what that means to him? What kind of love? Is he just making a statement - stirring the pot to mess with your head and let you wonder what he means - or is there truly the kind of love that he wants to build something more with you? Can he put action behind his words? What's interesting is that he's still in the picture - he hasn't gone away. Will he, or can he, work with you to create something different if there is really love here?
I have no answers, just asking rhetorical questions.
I'm drowning myself in white tea and Motrin today, trying to get feeling right again. I rarely get sick and I have no patience for it.
Feel better Jen! I, like you, rarely get sick--it's such an inconvenience. Jen Last Virgo is just trying to play headgames with me. I realize that and probably why I'm not fazed. I'm not going to analyze it to try to figure out what he means, if he means it. That time is over. sigh yes he's here he'll probably never really be gone. Something keeps throwing us together but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing or that we belong together. Oh well whatever, lol!
Thanks guys for your input
I am glad that it matches my mindset.
Gemini4Ever2 - you are correct. I should focus on my marriage and that is what I am doing.
Virgo not being around makes it so much more easier and every day I understand more and more how wrong it all was and what a game he put on...
Which brings me to your reply Jen, I thought about the same things. It's actually funny that I was thinking about the exact same thing - that it must be both of them.
And I found out more about them two, Facebook is a very valuable source of information
Couple of weeks ago when Virgo said he went to a game with his brother, he was actually with Taurus lady. She posted pictures of them two cuddling together. she is very public with her profile while Virgo has most of his stuff blocked. Doesn't show any pictures even to friends or maybe just blocked me
I don't think that they ever were in a friends stage, I mean, if you don't see somebody for months, obviously there isn't any physical contact and then you can say that we are just friends.
I am wondering if that's the pattern of their relationship, going back and forth and then deciding to be "friends" so to get a chance to date/sleep with other people. I understand if this happens in your twenties and you are not ready to settle down but to drag on a relationship like that for 20 years and up into your forties, that is something beyond my comprehension.
I guess you could say that they deserve each other then.
I was a little upset about it at first but now I realize that is the answer to all of my questions.
I believe that he was physically attracted to me, and just tried his luck like any guy would do.
It is embarrassing to admit but it is what it is. There is a strong physical attractions between us which I can not deny. I know it may sound lame but both my husband and that Taurus lady are overweight. My husband has gained a lot of weight over the years and from the pictures of Taurus lady, she has gotten bigger over the years also. I am no toothpick and neither is Virgo, actually he likes bigger women. But my husband being overweight is one big problem for me, I just don't have the physical attraction towards him anymore. I love him and want to make our marriage work, but am worried about his health now more than anything. He is suppose to start a weight loss program in January and hopefully will change his eating habits. Tauruses are very stubborn and easily addicted to food and my husband weakness is food and alcohol.
I don't know what their deal is, I mean Virgo and his Taurus lady, I would like to talk to him about it honestly and openly, but doubt that he is interested. Virgos are not very good analyzing relationships, that is what I have understood.
Maybe they don't want to live together, maybe they don't want to get married and have kids, that's fine, not everybody has to get married and have kids.
BTW they may end up moving in together now since I also found out that she got a job at their hometown, where Virgo is suppose to move back to.
Before he left home for Christmas, we had a pretty honest talk and he said that he doesn't want to leave in a bad state of mind and wants us to be "cool" and also said that he can't let go of me and my daughter, the idea of us.
That's another thing I don't understand, what is it that he sees in us?
He is not ready to have a family, he is used to living alone, he wants his drink every day, he is pretty lazy and selfish. Don't know... I never understood what kind of a need do I fill in his life???
He said that I feel like home. What does that mean? Unresolved mommy issues?
He does have huge mommy issues by the way, just like your Virgo, Jen. Claims that she has no say in his life yet he seems to be terrified of her.
I think that my Virgo runs away from something, runs away from people who try to tell him what the right thing to do is maybe and he rebels?
He is like Peter Pan, never wants to grow up and take responsibility.
Happy New Year to those who celebrate it. It gets me off work for two days so I'm content with just a happy day.
I'm completely off-topic here but I want to support a pursuit by my friend Astraangel. He has been absent from the forum lately as he worked on a new endeavour. If there is anyone who might want his services they can find him at Fiverr*com. Simply enter Astraangel into the search and his link will come up in the result.
Happy New Year everyone! I started the new year at home with family, relaxed. This year there will be no Virgo drama! I hope everyone is starting the new year out right. God Bless!
Last Virgo and I communicated on New Year's eve; he had said some things and I responded. He said he would call after he read my response but nothing from him and not even a happy new year text. I told him in the email that yes I still loved him but it still hurts way to much to just be friends and said my goodbye.
I don't want 2013 to be all about him--I refuse to do that. With that said I want to thank you all for being here when I needed to vent. If I'm letting him go I'm letting everything Virgo go which includes this thread and even the site. Everything is for a season and I guess this is it. This thread provided me with valuable information and much support--thanks again. I wish you all and everyone else who comes here good luck in all your endeavors. I finally realized it's not him that needs to leave me alone it's me who has to do the leaving for good.
G4E, excellent observation! GL and wishing you the very best!
A very Happy New Year everybody ! I've just come home from holidays, and have missed the latest posts.
G4E, hope you don't disappear completely from the thread, your experience and imput is so valuable ! However, I do understand that you might need a complete break from the Virgo theme. Hope that the year 2013 will be really happy and drama free for you and all of us !
If you still around. just out of curiosity, what happened to the Virgo º2 ? I must have missed the news, while being away...
ICY, Peter Pan is a very accurate comparison with most Virgos. They try to delay growing up (emotionally) for as long as possible. Maybe that's why their sign is called Virgo - a young and immature female character. As for feeling "like home" with you - that's just one of those clever phrases, designed to keep you on his hook without committing himself to anything. Maybe that's what home felt like to him - lack of responsibility and commitment.
Anyway, once again, a very Happy New Year, ladies !
P.S. G4E, just read your posts about the New Virgo. If you didn't feel that he was right for you, you've definitely done the right thing by breaking up before he's got seriously attached to you. Being bored around the man might of course mean that you were simply not ready for the new relationship, or it could mean that the 2 of you are not complatible. Whatever the case - letting him go was the decent thing to do.
VS, you opened my eyes a little more again
This thread really is invaluable. I am ready to put Virgo drama behind also, but will still keep reading this thread as a reminder and to keep myself from falling back..
I never thought about it this way, VS, that the reason he felt so comfortable with me, cause there was no responsibility and commitment, he didn't have to do anything and knew that I can't ask for anything.
In the end he just wanted to be buddy-buddy's, which in my mind just does not work after you've been emotionally and physically involved, maybe if he would be honest as friends should be.
But I have gathered that Virgos are not very good lovers/partners and not very good friends either.