The heart of a Virgo man
Hi ladies, and welcome all the newcommers !
Pisces78, you sound just like myself few years ago. I also feel that I've become a wiser person because of being constantly exposed to the male Virgo challenge, but I wouldn't do it again. In fact, more you continue, more you realize that each year, spent in a constant state of anxiety affects your health, self esteem and ability to act, because each year you bury yourself deeper and deeper into this crazy up side down mentality. One thing I can tell you - keep checking out other men. One needs a point of reference about life outside the loony house.
Guyfriend, actually I know few female Virgos who have stable families and relationships. Being controlling is the only thing I can think of, that is typical for both males and females. Other signs cheat as well, by the way, not only Virgos. I think you are absolutely right not to talk to the Gem girl. You have your own life to live, not just be her agony aunt every time he leaves her.
BlSc, you are clearly depressed. We have all been in this stunned condition, but it will pass, just have faith in your own capacity for regenerating yourself. Give yourself time and plenty of love. The Virgo guy is the way he is just because he is somewhat emotionally underdeveloped - that's all there is to it. He doesn't realise what damage he is causing, and never will. You deserve and will get a much better relationship when you are ready to love yourself. By the way, as a first exercise of loving yourself, I think you have to stop appologising and also stop thanking people for any attention you receive, from us here, for example - you deserve it, like everybody else on this thread ! This is part of loving yourself enough to know that you deserve to be loved, supported and that your company is enjoyable.
SFM - your story is just so typical ! There is nothing you can do except for healing, learning from the mistake of getting involved with a married man and move forward ! Virgo men are selfish, he is absolutely right in his self assessment and you should believe him! He knows himself like no one else does. He will also try to keep you hooked on him, despite his self critical talk, because, well, he is selfish. Please read this thread, it will give you some idea of what to expect.
Sc.Woman - well, you know what to expect...In fact I hope you don't expect him to ever change, because that won't happen. Just love yourself enough not to let him upset you, whatever it takes.
Cool Kh, what is your situation these days in regards that Cappy ex fiance, by the way ? Hope you are not settling...
CC, yes, that's the male Virgo formula, so it's all rather predictable in a way...
G4E, if I were you I would just make fun of Aries guy's demands of the picture. For instance I would send him a picture of myself, holding the today's newspaper with the date, like they do in the films about people held hostages...Something of that kind. Childish responce to childish demand...
Thank you for your comment im just finding it hard that he ended his text to me so cruel and blunt and refuses to speak to me about things. I dont understand how you can be in love on a Monday and on a Friday say he dont want anything to do with me.
Well, that's a male Virgo for you - it's a mutable sign, and they are indeed very changeable and detached. Read this thread, you'll be amazed how predictable this pattern is.
BLDGSCRP - You cannot wait for him to apologize or act human in order to move on with your life. You will never truly get "closure" from a person like this. You have to give yourself closure by closing the door on him and getting angry. Why are you letting him have so much power over you? I can understand the sadness, depression, anxiety, etc. Believe me. I get it. BUT.....staying that way only makes him the one in control.
Take back your power! Take back your life! Does this guy have power over life and death? No. He is just a flawed person and let him be someone else's problem. Actually, start to think of it as being FREE from any more torment this gut can dish out. Breathe a sigh of relief that you are not tied to him or married to him.
There is no reason that you cannot live your life and make your own happiness.
You cannot control how he thinks or acts. You have no control over anything he does. You only have control over yourself.
Are you REALLY going to let this creep have the last laugh? You will have to force yourself to move on, but it must be done. If you cannot get out of this funk, then maybe you should go home to your family. But think about whether you really want this guy to ruin your life and defeat you in this way.
Believe me......he is only thinking about himself and could care less if you are depressed. Now it is time to care less about what he is thinking or doing.
You were fine before you met this guy and you will be fine without this guy. It does not matter if he apologizes or not. Likely it would not be a sincere apology anyway. Just a manipulation tactic to get back into your life.
Hello ladies- It's been a long time since, Ive written on this thread....Just want to inform you ladies that Virgo still keeps in contact with me. Of course it's still through Messaging in FB...LOL.! and I still dont chase him. I don't reply unless I really want to. I have learned you have to be careful, on the things you say.....They are so judgemental of themselves, and think that every negetive remark is referred to them. At times he will disappear for like 3 days, most likely on the 4th or 5 th day he's contacting me, he can be flirtatious, and very critical toward me....I don't allow him to get to me as he did in the begining.....What I can't understand is how he still wants to talk to me. I often wonder what is he up to........I hope all you ladies are doing well....
SORRY IF I SOUND BITTER PISCES 78 , BUT NOTHING DOING. I HAVE SEEN MANY GIRLS SPECIALLY PISCES WHO TRY TO PORTRAY THAT VIRGO MEN ARE AWESOME IN RELATIONSHIPS. WHICH IS A COMPLETE B.S. ANY SIGN CAN CHEAT BUT THESE VIRGO MEN COMPEL THEIR PATRNERS TO LIVE AN UNHEALTHY LOVE LIFE. YOU ARE DOING THE SAME WITH YOUR VIRGO IF NOT YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME,ENERGY AND EMOTIONS. VOLPY SOLPY HAS SUGGESTED YOU TO SEE OTHER GUYS AND I THINK YOU SHOULD DO THAT OR ELSE YOU WILL HAVE TO END UP LIKE SEA SIREN OR DEVASTATED SCORPIO ON THIS THREAD. ANY SIGN CAN BE EQUALLY WEIRD IN THEIR OWN WAYS AND OFCOURSE CAN BE A CHEATER TOO BUT VIRGO WILL DEFINITELY WIN IN WEIRDNESS, THEY ARE LIKE SLOW POISON. I WOULD SUGGEST YOU TO SEE OTHER GUYS WHO ARE NOT TEXT BOOK COMPATIBLE WITH YOU LIKE- ARIES, LEO , AQUA . EIGHT YEARS IS NOT A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME . LOVE IS NOT A GAME--- WAITING YOUR PIT BULL WILL TURN AGAINST YOU OR NEITHER ITS A CHALLENGE . LOVE SHOULD BE HEALHY AND PEACE GIVING TO MIND . IT SHOULD NOT BE EMOTIONALY CHALLENGING . WHO NEEDS A ROLLER COASTER RIDE ?????? GUESSING GAMES ?????? THINK ABOUT IT. IN THIS GAME ONLY YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE AND YOUR VIRGO WILL REMAIN THE SAME WEIRDO EVEN AFTER 20 YEARS FROM NOW. I THINK VIRGO MEN ARE DANGEROUS THAN DEVILS , ATLEAST WE ARE WELL AWARE OF THE DEVILISH INTENTIONS OF A DEVIL BUT NO ONE KNOWS WHAT GOES INSIDE THE HEAD OF A VIRGO MAN. STOP BEING IN DENIAL AND START LIVING LIFE WITH A NORMAL HEALTHY MALE WITH OUT DRAMA , CHALLENGES OR GAMES . WAKE UP OR TIME WILL PASS BY AND YOU WILL GROW OLDER AND OLDER WITH YOUR RETARDED VIRGO AND YEAH COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED TOO. FIND SOME ONE ELSE. YOU ARE GIVING TOO MUCH AND YOUR VIRGO IS SO MUCH HIGH MAINTAINENCE WHO IS TAKING TOO MUCH FOR FREE. VIRGO MAN IS ALL ABOUT DRY EARTH WHERE THERE IS NO LOVE OR CARE OR LEAST EMPATHY. GET RID OF HIM QUICKLY AND HIS MATERIALISTIC PLEASURES OR YEARS WILL PASS BY LIKE THIS FROM YOUR HAND AND ONE DAY YOU WILL FIND THAT THERE IS NOTHIG LEFT FOR YOU.
BTW PISCES 78 I AM A LIBRAN.
VOLPY SOLPY YES I HAVE CLOSED THAT CHAPTER NOW , GEMINI IS NOT GOING TO GET ANY THING FROM ME ANY MORE. BUT SHE IS STILL MY TRUE LOVE AND I LOVE HER . BTW THIS SAG GIRL IS REALLY AWESOME AND I CANT DENY THE FACT THAT SHE LIKES ME A TON.
VoplySoply thanks for welcoming me. Omg, lmbo @ one needs a point of reference about life outside the loony house. So true! As far as seeing other men, I've been there, done that........ But I get what you're saying and you're absolutely right. I feel like I understand him better now than I did earlier in the relationship. I'm telling you I use to drive myself crazy wondering what's wrong with him. Now when he acts weird it doesn't bother me like it use to. I should've researched virgos a long time ago therefore I would've known what to expect. My previous virgos were the complete opposite of him. One was cool, no complaints, the other treated me like a queen but was obsessed and a stalker smh. I didnt have to wonder what's going thru their minds, they were emotional, etc...
GF, you made some valid points. I will keep them in mind. Lmbo@ slow poison. So true! If you think I'm in denial thats fine. I'm not portraying V guys are awesome in relationships!! Who said that?? I can admit V bad qualities but I can also see V good qualities. I would never want to date a evil spirit and that's what he/she devils are. So in that aspect yea v guys are better because I do not get a sense of evilness. Selfishness yes, weirdness yes, etc..
On another note, I have to read all the earlier posts when I have time to learn everyones story, but you mentioned your Sag friend is awesome. Sag girls are awesome, fiery, fun, classy, freaky, smart, adventurous, etc. I noticed my sag girlfriends like their freedom, and a challenge. They always want men they can't have. They love to experience new things and learn about new things. Just wanted to share that with you GF
The reason why I post my story is to maybe help ladies that just starting dating v men, so they will know what they're getting themselves into. My advice for all the women crying and wondering about the "relationship" and it's only 3 or 5 months or a year old. MOVE ON. Don't waste your time. You haven't seen nothing yet. Truthfully if he really liked you, in this short time its suppose to be the honeymoon stage. You're not even suppose to see his true colors till later. If I would've read all this info on them 8 years ago, I would've ran for the hills lol.
GF, I like the pit bull comparison. The only explanation I can think of why would one chose the challenge of living with a pit bull is that pit bulls might be really cute as small puppies (never seen one). I mean, one might not realise what one is getting himself straight from the beginning. Like Pisces 78, I would have ran for the hills if I had any idea of what was to come years ago. Unfortunately it's like living in a prison - you get used to certain familiar (even if crazy) routine and then life outside the prison starts feeling more and more overwhelming every year.
BleedingScorp- please go back to page 471 and read what I said to you. The reason that you have collapsed into this depression is because you have no direction or purpose at this time. People underestimate how important it is to feel purpose in life. Sometimes life imposes it upon you; such as I have children who drive my life, helping a sick family member might drive aspects of your life, losing anything such as a home or a job, whatever it may be, these things force you to take action whether you want to or not. Other times there is nothing and no one to direct us other than our own inspiration and initiative. That is actually a good place to be, to have no worries other than what direction YOU decide to take. But you are wasting this opportunity because Virgo has put you in a slump. You have no really serious life issues from what you have said, other than cleaning up the emotional mess Virgo has left behind. You have food, clothing, shelter, a job and promising opportunities, yes? The only thing stopping you from going and doing something constructive is (as guyfriend so aptly put it) the poison that this Virgo put into your life.
I'm not telling you not to feel bad about your Virgo. Some bad feelings over this can't be helped. I STILL have moments that I feel bad because of Virgo. If you read the whole thread you will discover that he ended things by making wild accusations about me and how I hurt him and none of it was true. I know that he figured out the truth in short order, but did he apologize? It has been nearly a year and not a peep of an apology.
I am totally like you, I don't end relationships on a bad note. I figure if someone had value in my life, just because a relationship doesn't work out, that doesn't mean that I don't value them. But what I also value is someone with enough humility to know when they have wronged another person and to be able to face that. My Virgo cannot and I'm betting that yours doesn't have the guts to either. They are too caught up in thinking that what is important to them is THE most important thing of all. They lack compassion (even though they may think they are compassionate - the proof is in the behavior). I gave my Virgo plenty of time and space to demonstrate what kind of man he really is and in the end he was weak and gutless. Just like he really was throughout the time I knew him, but I tried to believe in him anyway, thinking that having someone believe in him might help give him the strength to find real change. Oh he changed things all right, he made a bigger mess of his life than when I first met him. So from there his messy life is his problem and his continued cross to bear if he can't figure out how to bring something positive to his life instead of more problems and negativity. Your Virgo is Mr. Mess too. Don't let him keep making his mess your mess. He is not your problem and something in you should feel glad about that.
So right now I think that you have nothing important enough to you right now to drive you out of your apathy. This is why I think that you need to find someone there that you can be close to for a while who can help you shape some direction and remind you of the purpose you set for your life. Your friends and family are far away. I can relate to this because I moved 500 miles from my friends and family years ago for my work. I had no one here and getting started I had to force my naturally shy self to either be bold or be lonely. Now I would suggest that you need to get started because it will take some time to rebuild a life different from what you have been doing these many months trapped in your Virgo's cage. You need to make a plan and you need to be accountable to someone to follow through with it. This is why I keep suggesting one of your teachers. They clearly care about you or they wouldn't be checking on you. Are you religious? Perhaps join a church. You can actually have fun with the challenge of rebuilding a new life if you take the attitude that it is an adventure that you will now author and create.
Now I know I might sound harsh right now, but please know that I have been through a lot myself wrestling with the affects of a Virgo (and the aftermath) these past three years, and I have been here every single day listening to the countless stories of every woman who posts here. I can tell you that the only way you are going to get past this is to make a plan for yourself and stick with it. Commit yourself to putting yourself in a happier state. Every success story in this thread happens only when the women are fed up with feeling bad because of their Virgo. They are fed up!! When you are finally fed up with feeling depressed over all this then you will get off the couch and go out and breathe the air of freedom too. And then you can get back to work because you still have your life's purpose to direct. As soon as you get moving again the new doors will start opening and new things flowing into your life. Please have some optimism BleedingScorp. In fact I am going to quit calling you BleedingScorp and only call you words that are happy, like BeautifulScorp, or BraveScorp, or BlessedScorp. No more bleeding, it's time for those wounds to start healing.
Sorryformyself - I can't add anything more than what's been said. He told you who he is.. The way that he can be in love on a Monday and not by Friday is that he isn't in love or maybe even a loving person at all. Did he leave his wife or did she leave him? What were the reasons? There might be some clues in knowing this, to explain how he is treating you right now.
Pisces78 - Just listening to your story drains my energy. So many other constructive things to do in life than fight with a Virgo, or any others for that matter. Your relationship strikes me more like a hobby than a happy thing, but I accept that some people like firey relationships, so there you go. Enjoy.
Thanks for the insight on Aries men but I think I'm going to pass on this one. I am a very youthful 40-something lady so I can understand goofiness at times and I can be petulant at times which can be considered childish. But rudeness and pouting in a man; especially one I haven't met in person yet? NO! I mentioned he hang up on me twice, and now not speaking or returning calls because of a picture. I have several pictures posted he only has 2 AND he lied about his age! Yes he told me that upfront because he said his age runs perspectives off. That should have been a red flag there. He's going to complain because someone's picture is not them but he puts a false age on the site? Anyway yes I agree that meeting in person sometimes the chemistry is not there but he will never get to know that. I'm washing my hands of that dude. Too many little things adding up to trouble. LOL! I was going to send a picture (a very nice one too) that I had taken on Friday to send to him. When I saw that he was acting the way he was I decided not to. I get compliments and get hit on by guys all the time--it's his loss! Next! Well, no next for a little while I'm going solo for awhile as I mentioned before.
Oh, Virgo contacted me today....smh
Hi Gemini4Ever, Virgo will keep contacting you because it is not over between you. You know it, yes. You can move on, give it time but he will return...I just think it is not over, just my gut instinct. I am not sure about signs anymore, I am not sure if it determines so much in a relationship. When I read of all of these experiences the descriptions are for Cancer men (in my case), that is what I have experienced that kind of behavior...The Virgo might let me down in the future, do not know, going really slow here, but so far he has been pretty good. Like Jenever said, I am dealing with other types of crisis lately, like having a roof over my head so everything else pales by comparison. I just pray and I am grateful for health first always, the rest will follow if it is meant to be. With the damaged that I suffered with the Cancer men it has taken me 7 years to get well and sometimes there are still some remnants there. So we will see, one step at a time. I think that we just encounter good people in our lives and just bad people too, people who deceive, lie, cheat, have no character, misrepresents themselves, etc. That is the sort we must watch out for, no matter their sign, no matter whether they are males or females. There was a time in my life in which I truly believe most humans wanted pretty much the same things, I do not believe that anymore. There is good and there is evil. We must recognize a difficult, mean person for who they are and for their lack of character and run in the other direction. Then, all the good natured people will be happier, no matter what, no matter what external circumstances befall you.
Much peace to everyone, specially to the ladies going through severe depression at the moment. Be wise, be well. I am trying to learn the same. Had my share of crying today
ABB, I meant to say I always enjoy and learn from your wise words and congratulations on your grandchild!
and I am a Sag by the way...yeah, I know too trusting. It has cost me dearly, believe me!
GF, I thought that you were a Scorpio...at least that is what I am pretty sure I read in the past. Are you really a Libra?
Jenever7 he was the one to leave. We never went out or done anything as he didn't want her to know he had moved on with someone else. When he text me he said he needed time out some time on his own that I was beautiful and loving and his not blah blah. Im feeling a little better today and after reading this thread im amazed that its so him. But somehow I dont get the feeling that I will hear from him again he told me once that once its over its over when one chapter finishes in his life he moves on to the next one. As cold as that
YES MARDEPP I AM A LIBRAN ARENT YOU THERE WHEN I FIRST JOINED THIS FORUM ? LOL. BUT YES I HAVE SO MANY SCORPIOS IN MY CHART. IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBT READ MY PREVIOUS POSTS AGAIN TO SHARPEN YOUR MEMORY .ACTUALLY NOT YOUR FAULT TOO MANY STORIES TO READ HERE I CAN UNDERSTAND.
PISCES 78 ACTUALLY YOU ARE ACTUALLY ADDICTED TO THE PAIN AND ******* DRAMA THAT YOUR VIRGO IS PROVIDING YOU EVERYDAY FOR EIGHT LONG YEARS, YOU HAVE LONG FORGOTTEN WHAT REAL LOVE TASTES LIKE COZ YOUR RETARDED VIRGO HAS ALREADY BRAIN WASHED YOU AND THERE IS NOTHING LEFT INSIDE YOUR HEAD. YOU ARE TELLING EVERY ONE ON THIS THREAD HOW TO DEAL WITH A WEIRD PSYCHO ABNORMAL MAN (((known as virgo))) WHO DOES NOT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TREAT HIS LOVED ONE.WHATS THE POINT ???? ARE YOU KIDDING US ???? OR JUST FOOLING YOUR SELF ???? . I WILL AGAIN SUGGEST YOU TO LEAVE THIS MAN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL TREAT YOU RIGHT . THERE IS STILL TIME AND HOPE FOR YOU UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET TORTURED BY YOUR VIRGO FURTHER EMOTIONALY. YOU SERIOUSLY NEED HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL WHO CAN SHOW YOU LIGHT.
YOU ARE ACTUALLY LIVING AN UNHEALTHY EMOTIONAL LIFE WITH YOUR RETARDED VIRGO WHICH HAS ALREADY DAMAGED YOUR NORMAL WAY OF THINKING ANYWAYS AND ITS PRETTY CLEAR IN YOUR POSTS BTW.
I THINK NO NORMAL WOMAN ON THIS ******* EARTH WANTS A MAN YOU ARE LIVING WITH . ITS REALLY A DRAINING PROCESS YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH IN THIS WHOLE EIGHT LONG YEARS AND NOW YOU ARE NOT IN A POSITION TO EVEN ACCEPT THAT IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY.PISCES 78 DONT YOU HAVE OTHER USEFUL THINGS TO DO IN YOUR LIFE RATHER THAN GETTING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED IN THE HANDS OF YOUR RETARDED VIRGO ???? , I THINK YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR THIS KIND OF CHALLENGE GAMES NOW,ISN'T IT ???? WHICH IS NOT FUNNY OR HEALTHY ANYMORE TO BRAG ABOUT, LEAVE IT.
VOLPY SOLPY I AM REALLY SHOCKED TO SEE HOW MANY WOMEN ARE STILL THERE WHO LOVES TO GET TORTURED IN THE HANDS OF MEN AND CALL IT A RELATIONSHIP OR LOVE . HOLY ****
Sorryformyself, oh, trust me, he'll reappear all right in few months or so. And then he'll disappear again, etc.
GF, that's why this thread is helpful - it gives women information on what to expect, and then of course they make their own choices. It's not that they love to get tortured, it's addiction, as you said. Addiction to highs, compared to the lows that disfunctional relationships provide in abundance. It's an urge to "win" the unwinnable situation. This can happen at any age and it is not easy to break free, in fact especially after you've spent a number of years with the person. It's not unlike breaking away from the disfunctional parents - you still love them, but know that they are distroying you, so you either put up with it, or gather courage to change the situation.
Mardepp, are you still planning to get that full time teaching job ? Will it improve your situation ? I wish you all the best in overcoming the obstacles ! Stay strong !
Girls I am fighting everyday with my panic & anxiety attacks , meds are not helping not even meditation or Yoga. I am worried about my mental health, this disappearing & reappearing act of my virg X is really sickening & frustrating. He is doing this as a part of his game & I can smell his intentions clearly. Currently I've switched off my cell ph not to open it again until I change my no . My new virg boss is showing his colours slowly, he seems to be a COLD & MEAN man. Its really a tough job to work under him , he wants every thing in control & to be in perrrfect order. We have given him a NAME - "HITLER BOSS" lol.
Oh Mardep my heart goes out to you, stay strong girl , Hugs .
Gemini4evr Why this virgo men just cant leave us alone ? sssgh