The heart of a Virgo man

  • Actually, GF, I believe deep down you are very close to become mature enough, despite your bombastic style. You certainly have capacity for looking at yourself with analytical eyes, which means you are half way there.

    No need to appologise for getting serious here - by staying light I meant try not to invest too heavily into emotional rescuing of a Gemini girl. Invest into yourself . She'll be fine at her own time. Actually you can even show her an example of self respect and self love, by taking care of your needs first. I believe this can be a turning point for her as well. Absolutely agree with your last statement.

  • Messages keep disappearing....

  • Jen, you are absolutely right - people might need us for all kinds of reasons, including wrong ones. It's wanting us that counts.

  • Hello everyone!

    Update on me and Virgo...we're still friends. He keeps insisting he wants more but I'm not buying it. He "says" and then doesn't "act". So I refuse to be duped again. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy; just means he doesn't know what he wants. However, I don't have to let him waste my time while he's deciding what he wants to do. He doesn't get to do that.

    Just wanted to add: I think it's a total waste of time hating someone; especially since they aren't thinking about you. Hating won't change a thing or your situation. Vent and then move on and try to get over it. Better time could be spent doing something that might enrich your life... For the ladies who lost their precious gift--I know it won't be easy for you; only time (and prayers if you believe) will heal your souls. Glad you could come here to get some things off your chest. 🙂

    Hope everyone has a great weekend!

  • @JENVER here " need " means what you really need as a peson not want because as human we want so many things from life but over look our actual needs by hanging on to our "wants".. Actually its very complicated as we often struggle between our wants and needs. Its our inner struggle actually. Lot of people on this thread want their virgo but they often forget what they really need ,I am talking from this point of view.Now please dont get serious on this :).I know Cancerians are very deep when comes to emotions like deep ocean-its very very hard for any person to reach a cancerian's emotional depth. Your are actually very hurt ,I can feel that but that doesnt mean you will stop DREAMING/HOPING ? No never dont do that please..Dreams/Hopes are what keeps us alive.To do this you have to completely LET GO of your past(( your virgo)) from your system ,its hard to do but you can ..I know that cancerians cling on their past a lot..Now please dont get know how your mood swings actually are...When my cancerian friends get moody they sometimes try to bite/sting me with their

    And I also know that you dont like me JENVER. <

    ~_~ .

    @VolpySolpy --Nah.. I am far from maturity just see my ways of presenting myself here,I think I am scaring people away from this thread...LMFAO -BOMBASTIC YEP ..LOL..LOL..Actually I've lot of emotions working may be adrenaline Rush ..hehehe. ;)..I get excited easily lol pardon me. Yes VS I am well aware of my "NEEDS". I am not in a hurry to take any hasty decision. Infact I think I will win my girl in time.Or if not then I will accept it and move on. Actually I need and want her at the same time. But she wants her Virgo may be I am not sure though..

    @Gemini4ever -I know hating will get me nowhere but Atually I feel like killing that ******* for good sorry again lol . Yeh yeh then I know I will end up in kidding)

    Your guy sounds way too confused and doesnt know what he wants at the moment..Just be cautious USE YOUR GEMINI SENSOR GIRL.

  • GF - We need air, food, water, clothing (at least you do where I live) and shelter. Everything after that is "want".

    Now why on earth would you say that you know I don't like you? I don't have any problems with you, I've just let you be haven't I? I find you very funny and I also appreciate your observations. Cancers are known for having a great sense of humor you know, we're not always in an emotional pit.

    I'm going to leave the "dreams and hopes" thing alone. My effort the past few years has been to move out of the dreams and hopes realm and do what I can with the "right now". Waiting for things to happen in the future is no better than being stuck in the past you know. Neither should really matter in the moment. Intellectually we can learn from the past or we can plan for the future, but if you are occupying the present with too much thinking in either direction, then you fail yourself. This is why Virgo was such a pain in my a ss because he was very good at putting the present aside with the lure of "things will be different in the future" (all the while still wrestling with his past).. Cancers certainly are imaginative creatures and it's easy to be pulled into pretty dreams, but I seriously can't live my life waiting on someone else's dream, especially my Virgo's as it became apparent that it was going to drag on for years and years...... It was the ladies on the thread who had already been through years of waiting on men like my Virgo that was the crystal ball for what might be in store for me. Wasn't looking like much of a dream come true when I saw it through their experiences.

    Must run for now, but GF, I do like you and so before you make any assumptions about what I think, you should just ask me. 🐵

  • GF, well, at least you have the maturity to identify your presentation style, lol . And I agree with Jen, you are quite funny, in a Russel Brand way... 🙂

    By the way, your case reminds me of that of Rhett Butler character ("Gone with the wind"), - he was desperate to make Scarlett love him, while she was obsessing about unavailiable Ashley Wilkes (possibly a Virgo). It's a great book (much more profound than a film), and I highly recommend you to read it, you might find there few answers for yourself. He did eventually make Scarlett want him, by the way, except it was a bit too late.

    As for being "needed" - being needed somehow feels not unlike being used to me. Example - we might be needed because we provides assistence, or life style, or as a scapegoat /punchbag, etc. but that doesn't necessarily make us wanted on an emotional level.

    G4E, you are right about everything.

  • NOT ONLY FOOD, WATER,AIR,SHELTER,CLOTHING JENVER BUT "LOVE" TOO ((even I need them too cuz I'm not from other platet where may or may not THEY need anything))) ..ITS((love)) NOT A THING ONLY TO WANT BUT TO GET AT THE SAME TIME.But we fall in love with the wrong person at the wrong time in life... I think the definition of NEED varies from person to person..

    Yes my GEMINI, YOUR VIRGO need us but It would have been great if they wanted us too at the same time...But alas it wont happen.

    Yes virgos tend to live in their past ..they just love it. very practical in their way of thinking and at the same time logical too. he

    YES THE QUESTION IS HOW LONG TO WAIT FOR SOME ONE before its too late for our own well being ..................................................................??

    Ok VS I'll try to read that book.

    Have you any success story on this thread with virgos?? I highly doubt I mean if it really happened then for how long it remained successful??

    BTW// I've met a girl in my new office. She is a SAG.

  • How long to wait ? I'd say it depends on a kind of relationship you are having. If you are not "officially" together, then probably it would make all the sense not to wait at all, or as little as possible, or until you feel that it starts really affecting you. If she is your girl-friend, and that includes having intimacy together, I think you should talk to her first. Find out if she is in fact still grieving over he other guy, or is it just your impression (yes, that can be also a possibility - for instance you've assumed that Jen doesn't like you, which is not the case).

    If she asks you to wait for her, tell her to come to you when she is ready, if you are still availiable by then. Meanwhile try to move on. It's great that you've met another girl that you like. But please be aware of a danger of repeating the situation all over again, only this time you might find yourself in the role of a "grieving" and emotionally unavailiable one, and the Sag girl might desperately and in vain try to get you "unstuck". So, my advice to you - we wise, and responsible, move slowly. Don't complicate the already complicated situation by bringing another unsuspecting soul in, unless you are genuinely ready to move on. Good luck to you !

  • GF - I agree with everything that VoplySoply said in the last post. Frankly, it seems to me that you've done a 180 here. It sounded like you were willing to wait forever for your perfect Gem and now you're ready to flit off with the Sag at the office. You don't know boo about Sag. Why don't you find out if you even like her, or if she has any real interest in you first, before you end or alter things with Gem. And please don't let Gem think that you are solely interested in her if you are checking out the scenery elsewhere. Dont' keep her around just because you haven't found someone else, respect her enough to be honest with her. I know that sounds obvious but people do it all the time.

    Love is not on the list of "needs" because it's a state of being, not a thing. Whether you feel love in your life is as much about the love you bring into life as what anybody is giving you.

    Btw, there actually was a happy Virgo ending with one lady from the thread. It's too tedious to go back and find the post pages, but I believe her screen name was Mimi. She was involved with a married Virgo. His marriage was emotionally dead for years. He was locked in a sense of responsibility and dread over hurting people by leaving, but he was so unhappy. He had even contemplated suicide as the only escape. But Mimi patiently waited for YEARS and just kept loving him anyway. I was last in contact with her (outside the thread) in November of 2011 and this is what she said, "Virgo is divorced, lives not far away, and life is GOOD. Sometimes I simply have to close my eyes and reopen them as it seems I'm in a dream.We are together each day and share dinner always."

    Personally, I am a long ways from the kind of love that would last for more than five years being faithful to a man who couldn't be fully a part of my life. I know that some of that was Mimi's faith in the fact that he and his wife were no more than housemates. There was no intimate relationship there. And it always sounded like he made an effort to keep Mimi in his life as much as he could. I just hope that her love wasn't misplaced and that they are still happy. When I look at the difficulty that he had extricating himself from his loveless marriage, I think I would be suspicious of his ability to handle relationships in general. But who am I to say? They were both making an effort through all of that time and I remain optimistic that they will continue working together after all those years of waiting.

  • Greetings everyone,

    Well I cant say I'm all that surprise, but my ex-v is back. It's been 10 months since we broke up and the only communication of any kind we have had in all that time, was 6 months ago when I texted him to let him know that I knew about the other woman he had the long distance thing with during the course of our relationship.

    The irony is my boyfriend and I decided to get away for a few days so he planned us a short getaway to Puerto Rico. A trip I had been really looking forward to. Anyway, as per standard flying procedure, my cell was off during the flight. Once I landed I turn on my phone and there is a message from my ex ( he can't seem to get me off his mind, he misses me, ect). Of all the times for him to do this, this was the worse possible moment. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my trip but I thought of my ex often (which I know was his intention, to get me thinking about him), and I was distracted on our vacation - although my boyfriend didn't mention anything, I know he sensed something was "off."

    I have no intention of seeing my ex V or taking him back, not now or later; but it did stir up a myriad

    of emotions - nostalgia, sadness, regret, mild yearning, annoyance, ambivalence. Well, the following day my phone got wet during our snorkeling excursion so for the remainder of the trip I was (and still am until my replacement arrives) without a phone. I guess that was for the best since it prevented

    Me from checking or thinking about my phone.

    Although I admit, it's nice to know he was/is thinking of me...I am secretly pleased that he misses me because I know how sad and lonely he probably feels right now and I don't pity him because he did it to himself. I dont anticipate anymore contact from him ( no time soon at least), but I will let you know if I do.

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  • Hello ladies...Hello to all the newbies...

    Jen7, not darn Virgo's...I'll say it....Those damn Virgo a wonderful, and safe week everyone....

  • Hi ladies,

    Snowball, nice to hear from you, and so sorry that the Virgo has managed to distract you from having a great time. Yeah, fantasy life is a terrible thing, lol. Problem with it is that we tend to feel nostalgic about good things and edit out the ones that made us end the relationship in the first place.

    Laidye, hope you are doing great, despite the damn Virgo men ! 🙂

  • Hi JENVER HELLO VOLPY SOLPY- No I havent took 180 degree turn yet. Actually I am still waiting for my GEM. We are neither exclusive nor official but I am waiting.waiting.waiting. I went to dinner with her yesterday IT WAS A DATE ACTUALLY. She told me clearly that she is not over her Virgo and she still needs some more time as the Virgo contacted her last week and claimed that he is still in love with her. I know he is playing her and she is getting played again. I told her that--- IF A GUY CAN DROP YOU LIKE A BAD HABIT THEN HOW CAN YOU EVEN trust him??? She kept mum. :< .

    She is still under his MAGIC SPELL.WOW. I am feeling like a FOOL a JACK ASS or may be a scapegoat.... I think THE VIRGO LOVES HER MORE THAN ME. I wish them happiness and luck.. I have stopped hating on VIRGOS. So VIRGOS can chill.

    THE sag is showing interest in me from quite a long time now((Despite she knows I've a gal friend)) but I am the one avoiding her I know atleast I will not use her as a punching bag.I will not play anybody on my strings. I have stopped reading previpous posts on this thread too as its giving me depression and nothing else. The same story and pattern over and over again..its making me stomach sick.

    Hi Laidye .. :< thanks.

    Its my request to each and every VIRGO who is reading this thread --Please teach me your magic spells.

  • Laideye - Lol!! Hey nice to see you here.

    Snowball - Wow, what timing. Too bad you had to have that on your mind during your getaway. So are you going to return the message or just ignore him? I'm sure the temptation is strong.

    Guyfriend - Agh. Don't you dare try to duplicate these particular "Virgo charms". These are mean games some of these guys play, whether they are conscious of it or not. You've observed your Gem's misery at what he has done to her in the past and now he returns to dole out more. I wouldn't be so quick to call this "love" - like you said, it' more of a "spell", although I wouldn't want to call it "magical" either....perhaps more of a "curse".

    Well since Gem stated plainly that she is not over Virgo, and now he is slinking back into the picture, I'd say all bets are off and if I were you I'd invite Sag lady out for dinner. Sags are such fun and so positive, you will probably have a great time!!

  • Hi GuyFriend,

    So sorry to hear you are feeling down. On the positive side, at least you know excatly where you stand with her. The conversation that you have had basically frees you to live your life the way you understand it, without taking her feelings into account. Obviously she is addicted to drama and pain at this point of her life. It's a sickness of a kind, and the only thing you can do, if you really have to, is to push the same button as the Virgo does. Before I make my suggestions, I hope that you understand that you really deserve to be with the woman who doesn't need to be manipulated into wanting you. But there it is, here are few magic "spells" that I think could work in your favour (even though I'm not a Virgo).

    The main rule - under no circumstances let her understand that she can take you for granted. Translating - first, don't call her too often, especially after she tells you that she needs more time to sort out her feelings for the Virgo. In fact, disappear every time she brings the Virgo into the conversation.

    Second - when you are around her, become somewhat withdrawn, friendly and introspective - that's the Virgo trick. Mostly listen, or talk about unrelated subjects. If she talks about the Virgo, just listen, don't try to persuade her to see the truth. In fact, you can even say something like - "I wish you good luck". Try to sound sincere. Don't make moves towards her, don't iniciate emotional conversations or contacts. Become enigmatic and self contained. Let her wonder what's going on.

    Third - don't mention any other woman to her, but do make her wonder what's going on in your life. Look at your watch from time to time ("descretely") and at some point excuse yourself to make a phone call. Don't explain anything.

    To sum it up - you have to behave in the way that would force her to spend mental energy trying to figure out what's going on in your mind.

    By the way, in "Gone with the wind" , Rhett Buttler finally has managed to make Scarlett want him by leaving her to her own device.

    And above all - do genuinely take care of yourself. You deserve to be with someone who would love you for the way you are !

  • By the way, to make it clear, my suggestions are only the short terms suggestions to make you score few points in front of the Gem. girl. Jen is right - manipulation wouldn't add anything to the long terms happiness . You have to move on. I'd say - take the Sag girl out for dinner , it might turn out to be a much wiser move.

  • Hello everyone...Glad to say I am doing well...

    GF-I know you may feel really deep for your Gem, however she told you she is not over the damn Virgo man...Life is too short, to "wait" for someone...You have a young lady that is showing you genuine interest...Go for it...I'm sorry you are feeling down, but don't stay down too long...You have to pick yourself up by the boot straps, and get to stepping...If you continue to wait for your Gem, something tells me you are going to be waiting for awhile...That damn Virgo man is going to continue to come and go as long as she allows him too...She is going to have to stop this in and out, hot and cold thing he is doing...Until she makes up her mind to do so, this will be an on going thing...So babe, pick your arse up, and step to Ms. Sag, and have yourself a ball...Sag's are a lot of fun...Oh BTW, my son is a Libra...One thing I love about you Libra's is, you don't take any BS from anyone, and you will speak your mind...I understand where you are coming from...No one likes to see anyone hurting that you care for, or love...Best wishes to you and Ms. Sag...Please keep us posted...Damn, we can write a best seller book here...LMAO...Nite all...

  • Volley - thanks for reminding me to focus on the bad. I thought about how physically sick i felt in the weeks after I found out about his infidelity and thought what the heck is wrong with me? For a moment i was so wrapped up in the good that I forgot how bad the bad was.

    Jen - I wish I could say I wasn't affected at all, but I am. Thankfully at this point I can't respond because I still do not have a phone ( won't be delivered until tomorrow). I think what I will do is re-read all of my prior posts to remind myself WHY I left him in the first pace. Tonight is not easy, I have thoufpght f him ALL day, but I will get past this.

    Wishing good thoughts to everyone here.

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