The heart of a Virgo man
Aw Guyfriend, I am sorry to hear your situation. I wish I had an answer for you I really do. I am still trying to figure out how to "unstick" my own heart from Mr. Virgo. You know when he was telling me that he was going to take some time away, go to the coast to be with his parents for a while, figure out what he wanted, I was so shocked because this came just a couple of days after one of the nicest most caring conversations we had ever had. The sudden turn in events was a knife in my heart and he couldn't understand this. He said, "it doesn't matter where I go, you are a part of me now and always will be".
Agh. There it is. The sad truth. It is enough for him that I am in his mind, not in his presence. And that is what makes it so hard for me to get completely unstuck. The feeling that he has taken part of me with him, but left me with nothing but wondering. Other than to say (before he turned everything into hate and drama) that I would always "hold his heart in my hands". He is very much stuck in the physical plane with everything in his life - he makes work and obligation to providing a material existence his priority, and yet his emotional priorities float around in some ethereal space...inside HIS head. Like he is living in this world but not really in it. You spend enough time with that and you start to lose track of where you "live" as well.
So I am thinking about your Gemini and four years of a relationship with that Virgo and the whole while he was using her for his own gain. It is one thing when a relationship ends because you realize that you are too different as people, quite another to feel like you were in an illusion the whole time. I can't claim that I was in a total illusion with my Virgo. The situation was a lie from the start, that reality was always there. I have had a similar experience as your Gemini with a 4-year relationship with a Scorp in my past though.
Gemini's are an interesting sign. I've never known such quick thinkers as Gemini's. Full of mental and physical energy. For a long time I thought their feelings didn't run very deep. Too busy for that, but through time I discovered that is not true, and they can hang on to some past emotions for a very, very long time. Cancers might hang on to specific people and the emotions tied to them but no so much everything that went with that person. We just want that personal connection, as for the circumstances...who cares, it's about the relationship, not the circumstances. Some Gems I have known hang on to whole phases in their lives. It wasn't just the person involved, it was the way the whole world worked during the time of the relationship. Like they want to step back into time and hang on to it all. I think that they're minds are so much more complex and retain more detail than my emotional, right-brained self, lol. I'm not very helpful am I? You are so good to see what a great person your Gem is in spite of everything and try to be patient with her. How long since she broke up with Virgo - or should I say since he dumped her with a smirk?
Your thoughts about HF are interesting to me. The point that strikes me is when you said something like, "no woman could speak like that". That she speaks like a man. I never thought about that, and it seems true. At least I've never known a woman personally who was capable of being so hateful. Women can certainly be wicked, but it plays out differently. Rarely so "in your face" aggressive. I just attributed it to the "safety" of the internet. So easy to be beastly in anonymity. On the other hand I have certainly known men who can rip into women with no problem at all. You may have something there.
I have seen women so hateful in your face, but not many. Usually they are deeply hurt themselves and feel that they have nothing to lose. And yes, the anonimity of the internet contributes to the free expression of their misdirected anger as well.
Thanks @VS I can totally relate what you've stated. But the problem here is I love that girl and its from high school.
No she is not using me as rebound as its completely my wish to be with her by her side now. She asked me for time which I will definitely give to her.. I know she needs to heal. The good thing is that she is not obsessed as I am with the virgos ..lol ..but she gets swayed away in her thoughts sometimes.
She has improved a lot in last few weeks. She is going out with me more often now and asking me to stay at her place. At this moment she needs a friend more than a lover. I am her friend and I will be there for her no matter what...
I WISH I COULD STOP HATING VIRGO MEN o_O .
YEP @JENVER I am 1000% sure about Hawaian s**** that he aint a woman, he is harsh with youall all the time , so manly .AS I hve been following this post for quite a time now I can bet that Hawaian s*** doesnt sound like a middle aged woman. Middle aged women are usually calm , patient and very matured with their words. He sounds to me as some bt hurt man who cant take criticism for his own good. Guys can be really really bad. Take me for example. I dish out double in return of what people dish out to me. Yep thank God its a virtual forum other wise Hawaian s**** would have attacked you physically. Hawaian s**** is the clear example of Virgos defence mechanism , manipulation and being delutional. Or if she is a WOMAN then she is not at all happily married with her hubby. What so ever. Yes women can also be wicked but they lash out differently. Hawaian s*** is very stubborn like virgo guys.
I love my gemini to death,I will be her side till my last breath. She is beautiful,witty,smart. I care for her more than I care for myself. She is now with me ,as she was dumped 1 year ago by that *******. Yeah she is mercurial too,she is actually very good with communication.Though she has her moon in cancer and rising VIRGO <
~_~ . Actually her ego is deeply hurt and she is afraid to trust any other guy as she thinks each and every guy is the same. I am very patient with her so as she - she asked me to give her some more time to heal. I dont like to bother her or her own space. But I really want her badly and I dont know what to do to win her
THESE VIRGO MEN ARE EMOTIONALLY BLIND AND DEAF, They are insensitive to the feelings of others and love to cause pain to those who love them the most. Treat them like slaves in return they will treat you like a QUEEN.
GF, the last statement is quite true, unfortunately. People addicted to drama/pain, as Virgos often are, only respond to the rush of adrenaline, which one can only get on a consistent basis from being treated poorly.
In rare cases, however, this pattern can change with time, if the person is introspective enough. To give a credit to my Virgo friend, I don't think now he would consciously chose to be in a turbulent relationship, but it took him years to sort out his priorities, and peace still doesn't come quite naturally to him, despite his best efforts. Then again - I have changed as well, so maybe I do provide that adrenaline rush in part just by keeping myself to myself.
Once again - the best way you can help your Gemini girl-friend to recover is by 1) being mostly a friend, which is what you are doing, 2) concentrating on healing yourself and letting go of your resentment of Virgos (believe me, hating the guy, or the Virgos in general, doesn't make you look good in her eyes) 3) despite all your love for her, try to find a happy space within yourself, which doesn't depend on her moods - happiness is attractive. If she sees you being in peace with yourself, whatever she does, in her mind that would mean that you are a person who values himself, which is very attractive to women (and men). That sends the signals that she should value you as well. If she sees you falling to pieces for her sake - that would only induce a feeling of guilt in her, but not love. By taking care of your own emotional well being, you will help her to heal as well.
Hi Ladies hope you all are doing well Me too.
@Sincitypisces thanks honey... Hmm ok so your virg was an Aug born. May be that's why he sounds so different ...lol..Thanks for the info.I think Nothing is rude what I am doing to him SCP I think my Virg ex has done much much more worse damage to me.Not only you Scp, being a cancer I am extra nice too and so is every body else . He does not deserve a single kind word from me. :<
Btw: congrats with your new aries guy.. wish you all the best ahead. Please give us updates :D...good luck
@VS Thanks ..I think you are right . Hugs to you and SCP and others.
AS MANY OF YOU HAVE STATED THAT VIRGO GUYS COME OFF AS YOUR SOUL-MATES -- My Gem also told me that her ex Virgo was her soulmate for sure(((lmfao))). IS IT REALLY?? Can a real soul mate bring upon so much pain on their lovers//spouse//mates???? DO YOU GIRLS KNOW WHY THESE VIRGO GUYS COME OFF SO STRONG in terms of connections?? Actually they are very good at connecting and making the INITIAL COMMUNOCATION but They are not GOOD for the long run as they will leave you IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE. They are actually people pleasers and will tell the right WORDS to you just to please you. The reason is they get bored easily and start looking for other options available. TRUE LOVE, DEEP EMOTIONS, STRONG INTIMACY, CARING FOR THEIR PARTNERS, BEING STABLE is not at all their CUP OF TEA. THEY GIVE BIRTH TO ENDLESS SERIES OF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR AND ACTIONS and the most funniest part is that they do it over and over again without taking a lesson from their past dids. Hahaha How lame. VIRGO GUYS KEEP you ladies under their MAGIC SPELL and charm((( they will wear this mask util you fall for them HEAD OVER HEELS))) which by mistake YOU think as SOUL-CONNECTIONS. No its not soul connection -its just their control. They are actually very clever and good with their games they create WITH MANIPULATION.
THEY ARE NOTHING BUT A LESSON TO BE LEARNED.
I think Virgos come across as intellectual, thinking, and somewhat vulnerable, which makes women associate with them, in other words to connect on a soul level. Unfortunately women also tend to project some of their own romantic ideas onto Virgos, rather than see the reality, which is that Virgos just like to be liked. All the intense, meaningful eye contacts, flirtations, deep conversations dont necessarily mean long terms intentions. They reflect back to women what women want to see for a while, but they are not interested enough to live up to the expectations, placed upon them. Fair enough, it is not a crime to look deep and souly, but it is our responsibility to be smart and judge men by their actions, not by looks, eye contacts and other non verbal clues.
WOW..!!!! YEAH THATS WHY WOMAN FALL FOR THEIR SHORT TERM DEEP CONNECTIONS WITH THESE VIRGOS, MAKING FOOL OF THEIR own EMOTIONS AND SUFFER FOR LIFE by getting played on their strings for years and years and getting road blocked emotionally. WOW .. FAIR ENOUGH ?? ...
I think it is THE RIGHT OF EVERY WOMAN TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE SUCH SORTS OF ROMANTIC IDEAS..
IS IT THE FAULT OF THE WOMEN TO HAVE SUCH ROMANTIC IDEAS ?? OR it is the fault of those virgo guys who are Nothing but COLD ROBOTS ?? Who are LAME to give emotional closure and security ???? No I dont think these Virgo guys are vulnerable rather they hunt for Emotionally Vulnerable women upon whom they can project their INSECURITIES and have fun.
I think in todays world women are smart enough to make right decisions but they get tricked by these virgo men and their mixed signals. Which is a very common trait in them
It's nobody's fault. You can't blame women for being naive. You can't blame men for wanting to get as many women's attention as they can. There are no rules - some people think that commitment should follow every involvement, others are just enjoying the moment and not thinking about the future together. Wisdom comes with experience both for women falling for a fantasy of a Prince Charming and for men providing them with that fantasy. Actually, I've seen plenty of women who do exactly the same thing to men - feed them hopes, all the time knowing that the goal here is just self gratification. Would you blame these women ? Most people do that at one point or another (meaningless flirtation), especially when they are young, the only question is how far do you take this game. Every single one of us has had their hearts broken, or hopes crushed at least once in life, and not necessarily by Virgos. What is however remarkable about Virgos, is how good they are in the fantasy role of Prince Charming, and how scared they are of the reality of relationship. But I suspect so are the women, who chose the fantasy "boy-friend" over a real one.
Yes why would I not blame those women ??? Thye are wrong too..Playing with somebody's emotion is a very wrong thing to do.INFACT Its a crime which GO UNPUNISHED OFTEN....YEAH RIGHT THE question is How far they would take this game as few women are stuck in hope.. and in What if's !!! lol... NO I am not blaming women to be naive but there are women who are naive and are uaware of the games(I think to be naive is not a fault) .. there are also smart women like you.. and there are also women who wasted their precious years on a MAN who didnt even loved them back BUT GAVE THEM MIXED SIGNALS ..Not every women is smart enough like you Volpy Solpy. .. I know it very well that commitment should not follow every involvement..but the truth is these vigro guys GIVE MIXED SIGNALS A LOT...1 min they love you the next they throw you in garbage to get thrashed..And you are also one of them like my gemini who fall for those false promises and was demoted from lover to a friend or just a roommate ,just think how insulting it really is ???.If I were you I would have cut him completely out of my life and never looked back for good... Not every woman wants a "PRINCE CHARMING" volpy solpy..there are many woman on this planet who just want to be with a "NORMAL" man.. Not with an ABNORMAL guy who doesnt even know what he wants for himself first and who is still a 5years old in a grown up man's body..
You are blaming those women who are really naive who doest even know that they are being played until its too late..there are also naive men who gets played by women..but you are trying to prove that Virgo guys are absolutely NORMAL. May be because your virgo is giving you enough attention now a days thats why..
I know volpy solpy that wisdom comes with time , experience and age. A year ago you came her about discussing your virgo experience and whining about how you've wasted your 10 years and blah blah blah..but see now how you've changed and now preaching wisdom to others.
There are bad bad guys and gals in every zodiac sign who plays with women/men but These bad virgo guys you are discussing about pick their prey very care fully. They are actually very cunning and know how to sweet talk.
Exactly my point GF - nobody is born smart. I am not an exception. One needs to pass through certain experiences to understand why things happen and how WE contribute to the problem. By the way, I wouldn't dream of blaming women for falling for Virgos, don't get me wrong. As you said, I was one of them. What I am trying to get through to you is that you can't put all the blame to Virgos either. In fact most of them are naive and confused as well, in their own way. And believe me, they are suffering too, from what I have observed. It's just that unfortunately certain phobias (like commitment phobia) are stronger then them and it takes them years to realise that they are going nowhere. Just like it takes women who fall for them (including myself) years to realise that wishful thinking is leading nowhere either, and in fact WE have the power of chosing to quit the game. Speaking of which, it was actually my choice not to get promoted to a girl-friend status anymore, let's get it straight. Being friends and room mates with Virgo suits me just fine at this point. My question is - what are YOU going to do about the fact that right now you are in a loveless relationship and obsessed with both the woman and the object of her love/your hatred ? Hatred is also an obsession, you know...Anyway, I'm saying this not because I want to attack or hurt you, but because I'm trying to spare you few precious years. In few years you might wake up one morning and realise that instead of nourishing yourself and investing into your life you've spent few years feeling bitter, stuck and unloved. Is it worth it ? But then again - maybe you also need to pass through this experience in order to get some wisdom, in which case it is in fact kind of emotional growth process . Well, fave fun with it as much as you can ! And stay light, if possible, for your own sake.
YEAH YOU ARE RIGHT I SHOULD KEEP IT A BIT LIGHTER AS I AM GETTING SERIOUS WITH MY COMMENTS FOR YOU SPECIALLY sorry, And for my VIRGO hatred obsession I actually dont know how far I'll go with that s***, If my gemini choose to leave me for that virgo ******* ,I 'll not mind as far as she is happy I AM HAPPY TOO. I will be deeply HURT though but its better to free some one who is not meant to be..
....BUT VOLPY SOLPY YOU DID A GREAT JOB BY NOT GETTING INVOLVED AGAIN WITH YOUR VIRGO.. I know that YOU LOVE your virgo till now and you will love him forever but THE worst part is-- HE is confused and doesnt know what is good for him..NO actually he is a very very unlucky guy who is just plain BLIND not to see HOW MUCH YOU TRULY LOVE HIM. I WISH YOU all the best and happiness in what you do and also I pray that SOON you get a MAN (( not a boy)) who will LOVE you for who you really are and will accept you with your perfections and flaws .
I know that I am a bit HEAD STRONG and sometimes I argue with my mum too..she says - No actually she laughs and says that time will make you mature enough to see through things better. To which I reply no mum I am matured enough ...then she laughs again.. :D...... ////////////////////////
This APPLIES TO ALL you LADIES and also for me. ....o_O
his APPLIES TO ALL you LADIES and also for me. ....o_O
I like that statement other than the word "need". Replace it with "want". I had an old boyfriend use the line, "you don't NEED me, you'll be just fine without me". To this day I don't know exactly what it was he specifically "neeeded" me to need him for. I still talk to him form time to time, maybe one day I'll ask him what that meant, at the time I figured it was his issue. I'm not going to pretend to need a man for anything that I don't need him for. Need implies dependency.
Sorry, hairsplitting, but very sick of a lifetime of comments like, "you're a survivor", "you'll be fine", "I know you'll find someone better", and "you don't neeed me!". That "need" word gets under my skin.