The heart of a Virgo man

  • Hi again,

    I must really be back to normal because it has only been an hour or so since my last post. And, I can say that I don't have to wait for him to visit me to see if I'll melt or not. If I am really honest with myself that could happen in a heartbeat on skype too. I think I am just trying to talk myself into being strong.....remember someone said "fake it until you make it". That still doesn't change the fact that I don't want his lifestyle.

    bye again

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  • Mimi, I am going to contact you privately. You are so wise not to say too much on this forum. I just found out that simply googling our screen name one finds links to all our posts. This is not acceptable!!!!

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  • Mimi

    I sent you a test email.

  • Malaika - Suffice to say I melted. Actually, it wasn't even a moment of "melting" it was just like always, the second I saw him it was just so natural to be with him. Just always feels "right". So, there you go. Reeled right back in within a matter of...seconds? No. Truth is it just never really goes away. Always right there under the surface. So don't feel bad that you go back and forth about your Virgo emotionally.

    As always, I don't know what happens next with mine. I asked him if I'd see him again soon and he said he wouldn't make any promises he couldn't keep. Fair enough I suppose, but we did do a bit of a rehash about how we've felt since we hadn't seen each other in so long. Things are crazy with his wife and it truly sounds like the only thing holding them together is finances at this point. My gosh, she even has a man in her life that e-mails her and flirts openly with her at her workplace. Then she tells Vrigo about it. This actually makes him angry and relieved at the same time. Angry because he is so stuck with her, relieved because he is hopeful that she will find some other man and move on. (If ever my life seems like madness, hearing the tale of how these two are living always assures me that my life really isn't so bad after all, lol.) But I did remind him of the hurt he has put me through in our time together and that I didn't welcome any more of it. Some of that is up to me, I admitted, but he has to understand that I am emotional about him and when he plans to see me and then things fall apart, well, that makes me fall apart as well. I explained that I didn't see this as a bad thing. If I had no emotions about him, then what would be the point in all of this? But I asked him for a little more understanding about how his actions affect me - no matter how valid he may see the excuses that keep us apart.

    Scorp guy is backing off now. I'll spare you the details, but in true Scorp fashion (based on my vast experience) he can't let go without getting in a few digs. I've been accused of being inflexible and puritanical in my outlook on relationships. Whatever. If that's what it takes for him to accept that the "love of his life" needs more than two months to make a commitment, so be it. He came into my life looking for what he wanted and now he's irked because I'm not in the same place. My life is just so much more complicated than his and I'm doubtful that he could have handled it long-term anyway. Was worth a try anyway I think, but he doesn't have to be mean to me over it. Scorpios and me, agh! It has to be something with our planets or something...they are like a curse for me.

    Malaika - I think it's very good that you are evaluating his lifestyle and how you would adapt, or not, to it. I've had to try to imagine the same thing with my Virgo. Mind you our children are the same age, but he has one even younger than mine. His goal, if the opportunity presents itself to leave his wife sooner, rather than later, is to leave with all his kids. This might sound horrible to many, but get this, when he suggested to her that he was willing to take all the kids in the event that they split, her response was, "really?" My response would be something like, "over my dead body!"

    But anyway, the reality that I must consider, if Virgo and I were able to be together in the short term, is the idea of 7 children between us. That's worse than The Brady Bunch! Lol. I'd have to say that the bond between us would have to be incredibly strong to survive that. And how could one know unless they were in the midst of it? It's impossible to speculate really. Although, I have to say, we have gone more than a year now and with all of the heartache and complications that exist in carrying on together, somehow the feelings between us don't ever diminish.

    Sorry, Malaika, I'm kind of talking out loud here. You got my mind wandering on that one. As I say though, you're being realistic and that's a good thing to balance out those emotional ups and downs.

    By the way, I've known for some time that this thread can be googled by my screen name. In the unlikely event that Virgo would figure it out, oh well, I've said nothing here I'm ashamed of and if anything, it might surprise him how deeply I have considered our relationship and most often, defended and loved him in all of this. Plus, i believe this thread has been incredibly helpful to me and to several others trying to sort through their emotions and find some relief. That makes it worth whatever risk there may be for me. Certainly I can understand where others would feel differently though, so if you ever leave because of this I would understand of course.

    Ok, on with the day here. Wishing you all well.

  • Jenever,

    How are you doing? I can't stop thinking about you.


  • Jenever

    So sorry I didn't see your post before I sent mine.

    I am happy for you and it truly looks as if things might just be moving forward. He would leave with his kids - well that sure is familiar to me!

    Yes, you are right, this thread is so beneficial to many. I am one who is so grateful to have found it and will not leave completely, but there are some things that I do not want out on the WWW that is so easy to find.

    I have not heard anything, but he has been away and rarely if ever does he communicate on a Sunday. I do hope I hear from him this week, though. I want to see what transpires. What he says and how I react. When I don't hear from him it is easy to say I'll do this and that and be stronger, but then........

    I no longer IM him because when he is on he is busy doing work stuff and I only skyped him once and he was quite curt when he answered, but soon "melted". It was quite obvious that I interrupted work. And, only when absolutely necessary will I send him an email anymore. In the last month, only twice. I am putting it in his court.

    Take care of yourself


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  • Jenever, how are you doing? I can't stop thinking about seven kids! You are so right that it would take a very strong relationship to handle that blended family. You are such a strong and insightful woman that I feel if you decided to go that way you would surely make a success of it. Don't let that be your concern, your will KNOW.


  • Jenever,

    I forgot about my Virgo. Yes, he skyped me first thing this a.m., but I got a text message because I was not online at the time. I responded within minutes and told him to try to catch me later and after waiting half an hour I went off line. He never did try to call again. I will not continue to be available all the time. This, I promised myself since April 1st. Unfortunately he has been away and I never really had a chance to see how strong I am. Tomorrow will be a true test for me.


  • Jenever,

    Well, so much for strength! We had a video call this morning and I won't go into it all. Suffice to say that with the laugh while he said "marry me" and the ending of I love you - hand on heart, and the I miss you, I just fell apart.

    He wants me to come back so much. A visa is no problem for me. Also, the ticket is not a big issue. But, for him both are big issues.

    Ten minutes later I left him a message, as he was still on skype. I can't believe I said this, but here goes......"Go to the Canadian High Commission and see if you can get a visa. I'll bet you haven't even tried yet. I will find an airline ticket. I would like you to see my on my home turf for a month". This was followed by a small red heart that throbs (one of those emoticom things or whatever they are called. I swore that I would never finance a man, but if I went there I would have the airline ticket as well as accom etc.... How's that for rationalizing!


  • Jenever,

    Are you OK. We haven't heard from you for days and I am concerned about you. If all is well, please tell us.

    Sending good wishes,


  • Malaika, Actually I have not been on-line at all for days. I have been sick and I'm not sure I'm out of the woods here yet. I'll be seeing my doctor, finally, on Tuesday morning. (Saw her Assistant on Wednesday but P.A.'s never seem to help, they just tide you over until the doctor can see you.)

    Anyway, interesting developments for you. It would be very hard to turn away from him given the things he has said. I suppose that if you are going to go this route then you might as well quit fighting yourself over it, and just carry on and see what happens. 🐵

  • I have stumbled upon this site being distraught recently about the relationship I am having with a Virgo man. We are both married, with children. I just realized I should check his sign to see why he started telling me he needed space.

    We have been seeing each other steadily for the past 5 months. We text ALL the time until last week. I'm not sure exactly what happened. A few things happened in one or two days to lead to suspect but cant figure out. I'm afraid of asking him what's happening because he may not answer or may give me some lame excuse.

    Ok, so the things that happened were 1) I was going to meet him at our college before classes but he had to take his wife to the doctor. She had a small emergency that ended up being nothing but panic attack. 2) While I was waiting for him a friend of mine, who is a prick sometimes, was there and he offered to take me for a soda and I could see HIS new car. Of course I said sure. I didn't have anything else going on but waiting for the time being. When I got back to the college, I realized my Virgo had texted me 3 times to see where I was. He say me drive up with the other guy. I told him what happened and he seemed bugged for a minute then he was ok after that. We even got together after class to be physical. It was great! Whew!! Ok, so the next day we talked on the phone on his breaks but later he told me he needed his space because of some financial delalings that came up, which he told me about. I figured that was the problem so I didn't think so much about the other guy till later. Don't know if he is using that financial problem as an excuse for hiding what he is really feeling. Since then he isn't texting very often. No more, sweet talk, calling me lovely mushy names. Telling me he loves me all the time is out.

    I have noticed a trend here with other Virgo men. I don't want to get pulled along for years to come and get so wrapped up in whether he is gonna be with me someday. Which he says he wants to marry me someday. Calling me by his surname(mushy, I know) But now it has all stopped. He says he loves me a few times a day but doesnt want to talk on his breaks anymore, or have lunch together.


  • I know that it is wrong to begin with to have an affair but he swept me off my feet. We both are missing things in our marriages that we supposedly satisfied with each other. Not just physically. He said he only got married because his girlfriend got pregnant and his family made him do it. He says he is willing to wait for me since my husband is disabled.

  • Welcome Jodeesd, Okay, I'm confused. 1) You say Virgo saw you drive away with your friend. How is that? Where was he to witness all this and why wasn't he with you like he was supposed to be?

    1. Why are you so afraid to ask him what you need to know. If you don't ask you can't know what he will or won't say. If you're really going to have any future together you need to be able to ask questions openly.

    2. What does that mean when you say he is willing to wait for you because your husband is disabled? Are you sticking with your husband until he dies or is your husband temporarily disabled? Virgo is potentially going to wait a lifetime for you?

    I'd be curious to know the answers to these questions before I would speculate on what's got him keeping his distance.

  • Hi Jodeesd,

    I am sorry for your situation as I can "hear" you are distraught. Jenever7 posed the questions that need answers.

    I do hope you don't have to wait years for a resolution.


  • Jenever,

    I hope you are feeling much better.

    Well, He never responded!!!! He was on yahoo and skype, but didn't respond - just logged off.

    I sent a skype message (he was on a few minutes later, but had already started the message) saying that logging off without responding was like a slap in the face and a swift sword going right through me. That was on Friday and as of now nothing, nada, zero. He was on both Monday and Tuesday. He uses skype a lot for conference calls with sponsors in other countries.

    Yesterday and today I am in anger mode. I won't write what I am thinking because it would probably get deleted!!! Now instead of wishing for him to call I actually watch the screen and dare him to call. Of course, if he did, I have no idea of how I would respond. Calm and cool - Go Away - ignore etc.

    I really hate this. I finally put slippers on today and went to the supermarket. Tomorrow will be two weeks that I have been homebound. Perhaps when I go out and about it will help me clear my mind. Sure, hope so.

    How are doing doing with your Virgo man? I am still thinking about the seven kids!

    Bye for now


  • Jenever7,

    Ok so I asked him if he was upset about me going for a soda with my other friend. He said he had forgotten all about till now and asked if there was something going on. I told him no, of course not. He said he would never tell who I could be friends with and to chill out. We did talk more about us and it seems that his life was going unchecked while we were talking so much and being together. So that's why he had to slow down. He says he loves me but we cant talk as much as we used to. He also said he needed to reconnect with his kids. That I totally understand and would never step in between that. I asked him if he wanted to end it. He asked me too. I said no, then he said he didn't want to either, it would just not be so much talking and getting together as it was.

    My husband is permanently disabled. He isn't going to die soon but is going down hill.

    I'm just not sure if he is saying all these things because he doesn't want to hurt me or if he really does love me. I asked him this and he gets defensive and says of course he loves me and wouldn't continue if he didn't.

    I do know alot of his secrets, which I've read is rare for Virgos to share things like that sometimes. But he did say one thing that was strange. He said, his financial problems always happen when he is dishonest like this. I asked about dishonest and he said cheating on his wife and lying. so Im suspecting that he has done this before. When I asked him about that, he said there are some things he will never share. That was a big eye opener to me. It answered the question without him actually answering.

    I'm trying hard to just leave him alone. I don't text unless he does first. He always text first thing in the morning and says goodnight everynight, but I'm not sure of what to do.

    I could go on and on, but my thoughts are so mixed up right now. I hope all this makes sense somehow.

    Thanks for at least reading and replying for more info on this.

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