The heart of a Virgo man

  • Hhhaaha, VS, you are too funny. For the record I won't ever delve into the married land world. That just isn't for me. I guess I mentioned it because its weird for me. Inve never been attreacted to anyone at work. I like to keep those things seperate. With that said, I will ignore whatever I think may be potentially flirting because I need my j-o-b!!!!

  • Hhhaaha, VS, you are too funny. For the record I won't ever delve into the married land world. That just isn't for me. I guess I mentioned it because its weird for me. Inve never been attreacted to anyone at work. I like to keep those things seperate. With that said, I will ignore whatever I think may be potentially flirting because I need my j-o-b!!!!

  • Virgirl - Don't do it!! Steer clear! Honestly, I think flirting these days doesn't necessarily mean flirting as it used to mean. Flirting these days means "let's have sex" lol Just don't flirt back or else he'll think something of it.

    CuteLeo-thanks for the response. This thread has greatly helped me ! Thank you all ! My Virgo and I were supposed to meet this week, but I ended it, today (for the 50th time). This time though if he contacts me, I will not give in to his charm. I'll take it as flirting and nothing more.

    We've known eachother 8 yrs. Friends at first. And for the past 3 yrs, it's been this roller coaster ride that I've finally got whiplash from. I fell hard. Also went through a horrible depression. Still dealing with it. But if I hold firm to keeping him at a loooooong distance, then I feel I'll rise above it. I asked him once why he cheated. He told me it's because his relationships aren't perfect. Far from it. So I feel like any Virgo man is just waiting for the next best thing to come along. If it does, then he's gone. If it doesn't, then he'll just hold on to you until he can't any longer. Only because the woman can't take it anymore. He really wanted me to be strong, emotionally detached, yet praise him when he needed it. Getting nothing in return. It takes a certain kind of woman to "deal" with them. Accepting them is easy. Dealing with them is another story. I'll miss him dearly, but I won't miss the crap he's dishing out. I would just love to know what goes through their minds when they go mia. Do they just forget about you completely ? Do they have this imaginary checklist in their brains that put you on the bottom of the list? That they'll have to check off their to-do's before they finally get back to us ? I think we all do that to an extent. But if someone meant that much to me, I would make sure they knew that. One way or another.

  • Emotionsucks, right on sister! My crush is officially over though (thank God). I think I was just ovulating therefore my judgement was off. Seriously, that happens to me often. In any event, glad that's over lol.

    About your guy, I don't think these guys intentionally forget you per se, they just prioritize. With that said I don't think their feelings ever change though. Weird but that's my view of things. As far as being depressed, I know that feeling and its not cool at all so if he's unhealthy for you then you're making the right move.

    Hugs to you!

  • Hi everyone and welcome to all the newcomers in case I've missed anyone! Virgirl, just wanted to ask you if you r still with your Cappy guy? Honestly, can't keep up with this thread much anymore since there are so many new really can't remember. 🙂

  • Hi ladies ! Hope everybody is having a nice day. Today is my BD, so I intend to spend it as a true Aries should - putting myself first. 🙂 I've requested no depression, no anxiety, no rush, no issues from my Virgo friend as a BD present, and so far it's going well .

    Virgirl, well done for getting over the crush on an unavailiable man ! Forgot to tell you, possibly your subconscious mind was trying to find some form of "safe" escapism - safe, meaning that there is no danger of this flirtation becoming a serious relationship, as he is unavailiable. Maybe you feel divided - part of you wants some excitement, the other part is afraid of it, therefore you've directed your attention towards a married man. Just a thought.

    TW, if I were you, I would meet up with this mutual friend to see what she has to say, just to satisfy my curiosity, all the time knowing that this might be an attempt to drag you back into the disfunctional situation. But see how you feel - whether you feel strong enough for this kind of "entertainment". And don't give away any information about yourself, whatever you do that's my advice.

  • Hi ABB, actually me and cappy are still together but it seems we're kind of both emotionally unavailable at this point. From the last time I updated you ladies, he and I had a huge blowout, I was searching for apartments and was ready to go. But then I told myself that if I couldn't make it through the troubles with this guy then who's to say I won't run into the same drama with the next. So I gave him a list of things that I've been keeping since I started it in december 2011. These were the things I had issues with and needed him to change. While he took heed to my list that thing, the deep connection just still isn't there. In the meantime there is no talk of marriage or moving forward. I guess we're sort of in the meantime.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY VS!!! I adore your bd request to virgo...that's awesome and u deserve calm 🙂 I think you hit it right on the nail with your assessment of the reason why I like/crush over unavailable men. Its actually the same reason why I dated virguy. I was already in a stable relationship and his unavailibility worked perfectly for me. I never wanted to run off into the sunset with him. Yet at the same time my behaviour was extremely self destructive. Even if I was single, dating an unavilable person only ends in heartache. But yup, so happy that crush is LONG gone!

  • Happy birthday to entice your curiousity. I did call the mutual friend, said I was up to having drinks, if she still wanted to met up....Well she gave me this excuse that she couldn't blah, blah.......Mind you this contact was in the morning. I kinda figured because I drop the ball on her unexpected. That she declined....whats weird is that she has never called me to met up for drinks......I feel Virgo has a lot to with this.....Im ready for the entertainment...Will give a chance to comfront him, instead thru a D*M txt.......Will def. keep you ladies informed..

  • VoplySoply - Happy Birthday!! I hope you have a perfect day!

    AriesBB must have a birthday here soon as well...hmm... 🙂 Ariesman had his birthday yesterday. I had stopped off the evening before to leave him a present since we weren't going to be able to get together. He was so excited it was hilarious, like a little kid. Wanted to know if he should open it or wait. I said, "why don't you wait and savor the anticipation". Then I had a text first thing the next morning so he obviously tore into it as soon as he got out of bed. Still makes me laugh imagining it. He said he doesn't get many presents, which is probably true since his extended family is almost nonexistent. Anyway, it was fun to see him having so much fun just getting a present.

    Sorry haven't had many comments. Everyone has been great at supporting each other anyhow as usual. 🙂 Been really busy and a big shake-up at work has me stressed and disappointed and trying to adjust. My boss is gone and I now report to someone else who has a completely different style. Stinks because I believe she will hold me back as soon as she figures out what I do and how she can control it. Sigh. Life is nothing but changes, but I was really enjoying how stable work has been and felt I was heading in a good direction. Could be time for a new plan...again. (I was hired in by this woman, btw, six months later she was letting me go. My boss who is now gone "saved" me and put me on a new course. So you see, there is unpleasant history between "new" boss and I.)

  • Hello again, beautiful ladies, and thank you for the BD wishes ! It was overall a nice day and my Virgo friend was considerate and helpful most of the time.

    Jen, so sorry to hear about your work situation. I know what it is like when the boss starts digging under you. All I can advise - try to project the good vibes into the situation, as positive thinking usually attracts positive results, and at the very least it would make it emotionally more difficult for that lady to make a move against you. Also remember that when one door closes, the window of new opportunities always opens.

  • VS, Happy Birthday!

    Jen, so sorry to hear about the 'shakeup"! Hope all turns out well!

    Another beautiful weekend ladies! Hope everyone enjoys!

  • ....

  • Thank you, ABB !

  • Hello ladies,

    I need some encouragement not feeling so great today. I told you all that Virgo and I had not really been talking much--I had stopped calling, texting, etc. Then out of the blue he suggested a trip. Well I was leery of it but he asked me to look at dates and make reservations so I did. Then I got to thinking how desperate must I seem? We barely speak and then all of a sudden we're going on a trip? So I called him but he wasn't there so I sent him an email and told him I didn't see the point in the trip and that I just really think we should leave things the way they are now (not really communicating). He asked why and I told him that I still had feelings for him and I was doing fine not talking to him and getting on with my life and getting over the feelings. I mentioned the fact that I was still vulnerable to him and I didn't want tobe that way when it's obvious that it's one sided.

    He wrote back that instead of pulling back we should discuss these feelings/my vulnerabiity with him and I might find that it wasn't one sided. I was taken aback by that. He said maybe he didn't understand how I really felt about him because I never shared the depth of my feelings with him (lie, I tried many times and never really got an answer from him about how he feels). So he wants to talk. We are supposed to talk today, but I don't see the point. I think he's totally trying to manipulate me. I take that back I KNOW he is. I'm seeing now that what you all say about Virgo men is true--he won't let go! Doesn't want me but won't let go! I think he just wants to hear me go on about how I feel about him to boost his ego. He only intimated that the feelings may not be one sided to draw me in and it almost worked.

    I need some suggestions before "the talk". What can I do to make this man see I want him to go away? I'm so sick of the drama, manipulation, push pull. When he mentioned we'd talk I want to do it face-to-face but he made up some excuse. I didn't want to ever go there but I'm almost at the point where I'm angry and I want to scream at him to go away! I want to tell him I really wish I hadn't met him. I want this to be done so I don't grow to hate him; well not him just his ways. Should I just not talk to him? Suggestions?

  • Hi G4E,

    If it's not too late, here are my suggestions - if you REALLY want him to go away, then I think the ultimatum is in order. You should put your pride aside and tell him that so far you haven't heard anything about his feelings and intentions towards you, and unless he tells you everything as it is right now, you are going to move on with your life and don't want to be contacted anymore.

    This probably will freak him out, so expect manipulations. He will probably try to charm his way out of giving the direct answers, or will start actingall offended. If you really don't want any continuation of this relationship, then you should insist on the direct answers RIGHT NOW and not let him postpone the answer.

  • VS,

    Thanks for your suggestion; I will try that. I doubt if he'll even call, which will be good because then I'll have all the answers I ever needed. He's the one who wanted to talk, not me. I do REALLY want the nonsense to cease; I'm too old for this drama. Darn feelings of mine! As I've gotten older I've lost my edge--this man would have BEEN deleted from my life by now. The worst thing is, he was supposed to move to another area at work but now he's not moving. It makes things awkward and harder to deal with. I'll make it somehow...thanks again.

  • G4E, you already have your answer. If you do not follow through with your conviction Virgo will not respect you. Virgo has never followed through with his conviction and you are beginning to 'hate' Virgo. Take your power back. If Virgo does not have time to meet face-to-face, not sure why you are even bothering to continue this 'charade'! Read what you posted ... you answered your question. The fact that you asked the question for us to advise is because you already know the answer. You allowed him to hook you again and now you're unsure of your feelings.

    Wish I could be more supportive but it will only prolong your predicament, thus, not a solution. It is not Virgo you are actually upset with, it is yourself that you're upset with. Stay strong, no matter the outcome. Keep busy as you have been and do not even wait around to meet up. Since you've challenged him to come clean, Virgo probably will not even make contact again or at least for awhile. This is how they keep the power and control. Wishing you the best.

  • Hey G4E,

    ABB, & VS, answered your question pretty good, but to add another perspective here so you feel a little better -- don't take his actions personal. I know you feel like its all manipulation directed at you but I truly believe this is just who he is and how these virgo guys are. They're bad in the relationship department, period. As a virgo myself I try not to write people off just because our friendship/relationship went sour. I think you should first make peace with yourself and him then without being overly emotional tell him you'll always be a friend but romantically its a bit too complicated for you. I think you should definitely have some sort of discussion with him this way you're not harboring negative emotions. So talk, then let go. He really is who he is and he showed he is so you should believe him, especially if his ways are something you're will to accept.

    be strong girlie 😉

  • Typo -- his ways are something you're NOT willing to accept.

  • ABB, Virgirl

    ABB you are right it's not him that I'm upset with really--it is me. Because I know better and I'm frustrated at myself for allowing him to affect me this way. Especially when I was doing so well and then the trip thing came up. I do have the answer in front of me. Virgil, If he does call I will listen to what he has to say. However, I'm not waiting around for him to call. In fact, I can pretty much bet that he won't and he'll have what he thinks is a good reason he didn't call. Thanks for your comments and support! 🙂

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