The heart of a Virgo man
"the heart of a Virgo man" - they don't have a heart :@. I'm so angry. Me and Virgo guy have been split up about 1 month now and he is already telling his new gf he loves her! Makes me feel sick. The years we were together must have meant nothing to him. Grrr - sorry for the rant!
G4E, for some reason this is often the way - feast or famine. Maybe it's some kind of law of attraction at work ?
RB, clearly your ex boy friend is a shallow character, and probably believes his infatuation to be love (read Jen's post above). I think love takes much longer time to develop, while infatuation can be almost instant, apart from selfishness versus selflessness definition. RB, I know it hurts right now, but there will come a moment when you'll look back and thank God that you haven't wasted another 7 years on him. In 7 years time (or tomorrow) he might do the same thing to his new girl friend.
Jen, I agree that one shouldn't try to fit anyone's expectations, Aries or any other sign.
That is what I thought VoplySoply. When we got together it took us both months to say "I love you" and to think he is saying that already and he hasn't hardly been with her or split up from me that long really annoys me. It makes me think if he can just say that to her this quickly did he ever mean it with me or was it all lies! I'm just rear upset at the minute. I know I should just smile and move on but when I hear that he sounds so happy and he has someone it makes me feel bad.
RB, it's understandable that you are upset, and there is no way around it. You'll be grieving for a while, and then you'll move on with your life and in a while you'll be looking back with indifference to what happens to him and his new flame. Try not to let resentment spoil your life for a long time. You owe it to yourself to feel happy again as soon as possible.
RB89 - I had to go back and read your story again. So, don't think about what he is saying to this woman. Go back and read what you told us and look at what he is doing. He is ping-ponging right to the next woman - again. So how long will he be with her - no matter what he is saying to her right now- until he decides "this isn't working". You know him as well as any woman at this point. Do you really think he has suddenly found Ms. Right? Based on what you described previously, just give him a couple of months and he will leave this one too. How many times did he say he loved you and yet he couldn't help make the relationship between you work? I know you are angry/hurt, but haven't you put up with enough out of this guy? He hasn't had any epiphany here, he hasn't found love, he just found someone to play with for a while. That's my opinion based on the way you described his erratic history with relationships.
So sorry to hear of your obvious pain. Don't try to think about if he really loved you or not, does it really matter at this point? It'll only serve to drive you nuts thinking about it. Meanwhile he's in lust and oblivious to you. I know it's easier said than done, but as VS said you will look back on this with indifference some day.
VS I hate feast or famine. I almost want to put up the walls I used to have years ago! But then I thought who is that really hurting? I don't want to do that because that would be real living. What I do know, and I've said it before. I will neverrrrrrrrrrrr get involved with another Virgo man again. I know 2 people are alike but I just don't need that drama everrrrrrrrrrrrr again. Plus the similarities between mine and all I've read about on this site is enough to convince me to head for the hills if one comes up to me again! LOL!
I liked your last post. I think I am infatuated with Virgo and the fact that he doesn't want me boggles my mind as well. Your post was very insightful--thanks!
I don't know if you remember but I found this thread about a month ago because a Virgo restaurant manager of mine checked my arse out and then his wife came in checking me out and that's when I got the first inkling that maybe Mr Virgo Nice guy was actually a player. lol I have been with the restaurant for about 2 months.
So I just wanted to give you an update. First of all, I want to say that I have read through much of this thread and it is very interesting and OH MY all these Virgoes are the same, aren't they? its incredible! Well, I almost got sucked into the V-trap and obsessed a couple days on this guy after the wife came in. I mean he is charming and for some reason I find him attractive, but then I let reality in and decided to make myself scarce around him and observe.
So I watched him very closely in a way that only a Scorp can--he never suspected a thing. I decided to experiment with him to see if he played the Virgo games I have been reading on this thread and yes he does, I will report. Once I started to back off any attention at all, I started to get the sweet guy. He became a regular Mr Service man. Everytime I looked he was hovering around to see if I needed anything. I was pleasant but pretended not to notice. Then I got the cold and aloof Virgo guy. I still went about my business thinking--hey we're just work friends--be cold and aloof if you want. Not going to let you affect me, sorry.
This turned into the "punishment phase" where he took all the services he used to give me--AS PART OF HIS JOB--away and left me hanging on my own. I just laughed to myself and thought--really? One night at the end of my shift, after he left me hanging with a ton of cash in my drawer (which he was supposed to and has ALWAYS cleared out for me because we were slammed) he comes up to me and says, "I'm sorry, I should have come around more this evening." I replied,"That's okay, you're a busy guy, I get it" and flashed him a smile. Even through Mr Robot's facade, I could see that he was shocked that I was so nonchalant. Its all a game, you see. But I'm a big girl and I don't play stupid little childish games, so I wasn't biting.
Please remember, I am observing here and experimenting. I figured if this guy wants head games, he better beware that he is playing with the master of head games. I admit, I was having fun.
I should mention that this 'punishment phase' came conveniently the day after every guy in the restaurant seemed to be attracted to me like flies. I was batting advances off left right and centre. I'm a very friendly person who genuinely likes people so I look them in the face when I talk to them and sometimes people get the wrong impression. idk. Anyway, there was this one, HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE guy who came up and introduced himself to me and took my hand and said he just wanted to make me happy right in front of Mr Aloof (who saw everything and made a mental note I could tell).
So I was punished, I guess. For what? I thought. Was he jealous? Are you kidding me? We don't have a relationship. I don't get it, really. But the punishment didn't get the payoff that Mr Virgo wanted--and I am guessing that was to invade my mind. The games are much easier to overcome if you have no emotions invested, ladies. But to be honest, a little part of me was hurt. I don't understand why someone who is nice and who I enjoy a decent rapport with would want to 'punish' me. The hurt, I will admit, sent me into the beginning of an slight obsession--but I cut that one off at the knees. I'm not interested like that and I don't want to get sucked into the same patterns I have found on this thread. I can totally see how easy it would be to do, so I empathise with everyone of you who have been reeled in--I really do.
Anyway, I had a couple days off to put things into perspective and decided I would stop the games and just be friendly and keep him at arms length, make that obvious and hope Mr V would understand--whatever he's doing will never work with me and he would back off. Once I did this, I began observing some fairly interesting things.
I noticed that there are at least three different women who come in and they all look exactly the same--blonde hair, polished looks, pretty. Each woman seems to have a different day. One comes in every Wednesday, one on Saturday afternoon and one on Sunday evening. I guess these must be Mr V's emotional harem. Mind you, this guy is married. Now I'm not saying anything is going on but I get the distinct feeling that Mr V is push/pulling each of them as they all have the same expectant yet disappointed look on their faces.
I don't know. I am starting to feel sorry for everyone involved here. The wife looks miserable, Mr V looks like he's in a continuous state of stress and these ladies look like they are hoping for more than they'll ever get. Oh and I know at least two of the ladies are married with children because they bring them in from time to time yet they come alone on "their" days.
Sad, really when you think of it. That's all I've got for now. Hope you are all doing smashingly well. SWW
Wow, Scorpwithwings - What a story! I love that you returned to share your observations, particularly your personal feelings about how he actually made you care what he thought about you in spite of all the obvious reasons why you shouldn't care what he ever thinks about you as a person - only as an employee. Once someone taps into your self-esteem the game really changes doesn't it? And as you say, you bring us a picture of this behavior as only a Scorp (or perhaps a water sign) could pull it off - reading just when to make certain moves to provoke a response.
Now, let me ask you: after having observed all of this, do you think he is really aware of these "games" he plays or do you think that he has so many "irons in the fire" that he has zero ability to focus on anything in particular and just goes along like a leaf on a rushing river. Just going to keep juggling it all and oblivious to where any of it really leads? Or maybe he just doesn't care?
I love how each lady has their special day with him. Agh. Virgo's like things orderly and on schedule...everything except emotions I guess. Well keep us posted if you have more thoughts on this situation. What a drama he has created if you are right about all his ladies. What a load of hurt just waiting to happen.
SwW, your story was a highlight of my day I know that expectant, yet disappointed look - have witnessed it plenty of times on female faces around my Virgo friend, mostly his students. Come to think about it, not just female faces, there was even one g a y Anglican priest, looking just as disappointed.
Jen, I really believe that Virgo men are perfectly aware of this game, which provides them with pumping up of their otherwise low self esteem, along with some entertainment. I know this for a fact, as my Virgo confessed it during one of his recent self depricating, soul searching talks. He himself classified it as selfish. Virgo's excuse is that as long as it doesn't become a physical affair, it doesn't count, as it's just a superficial thing, but of course, it makes everyone miserable in the end, sometimes even himself.
I just wonder how did this restaurant guy manage to organise all these women to show up at different days ? That requires some really strong managerial skills. I also wonder whether there was anything more than mere flirtations going on there...?
G4E, I'm not planning to get involved with another Virgo ever again either. Too much trouble, too little reward.
Message disappeared again...
Leave it to a Cancer to think of a great question that gets right to the heart of the matter.
I do think some of this is calculated and I'll tell you why. Early on in this whole scenario, I found an item near my station but not so near that I would automatically notice it. I was walking into work and found this item and touched it and looked at it. I would say what the item is but if anyone is on this thread that knows this Virgo they might know about this item as well--so I'll stay anonymous. But I went straight for this item and then went on to my station. Well, not 2 minutes later the V-man comes up to my station holding this item and hands it to me saying that someone lost it and it has been kicking around for awhile. He then put the item on my station.
Now I didn't think anything was funny about this until I thought about it later. I think this was some test of Fate or something that the Vman set up. If I go to the object then there is some element of Fate about me. I think it was completely calculated-- after observing this guy for awhile. That dynamic has been the driving force behind his future actions I believe--if you get what I am saying.
I think he is looking for someone who is fated to be with him and that he really isn't very happy at home and he's looking for something. This guy is very intelligent and is like an eagle eye. He is keenly observant. I guess I recognise this quality because I am the same way.
Also, I would like to say that the restaurant he is managing is under very close scrutiny by the owners and this guy is pretty stressed so maybe some of this chaos in his personal life is in response to these stressful feelings. Its almost like all these women are part of how he deals with this stress at work. I don't know if that makes sense.
Basically, the man who looks SO in control is really out of control and these poor women are in many ways a victim of this.
Interesting story! VS he probably told each of the ladies the day they should show up would be the best day he could give them more attention than on any other day. That would sound plausible and alleviate any suspicion as well. I being the analytical one, would think more into it and probably rebel and show up on a different day just to see what was up! LOL!
I think he texts them earlier in the day and then they show up later. They probably have become used to the day he's "available" for them and wait with baited breath for his text. That's my take.
Then they are bimbo's but still, I think they have been told ahead of time of a particular day they can come. Virgos are very cunning, calculating, and they are planners so I think those ladies know of their day...lol! Poor souls; they each probably think they're the "one". Funny how Virgo can be so charming. Charming just to get what they want from you then, poof they disappear. Not literally mind you...
Interesting Scorpwwings - My Virgo used s e x as stress relief (tried to tell me that I did too - wasn't often enough with him to relieve my stress, he just gave me more actually, lol. That was just him trying to rationalize things obviously.) I know from things he said that his time on dating sites was to boost his self-esteem. And he was waiting for Fate to intervene in his life as well. Waiting for a truck to run over his wife, or some knight in shining armor to sweep her away, or wife to just get fed up with him and file for divorce. Why couldn't he just be honest and discuss what was bugging him with her and try to clear the air instead of bottling it all up?...?.....? But I guess I do know what it's like to try to talk about things and either be misinterpreted or not really be heard. Can't know what his wife was bringing to the table. It is so dang annoying though that these men can succeed in so many other ways in life but can't just make basic decisions to avoid bringing hurt to others...or to themselves. They can use their charm for "evil" but they can't seem to use it for good? Ah, why do I try to figure it out, lol, when I already know that it only leads in circles.
I think they can use their charm for good, when they want to. I've seen my Virgo friend being very good and supportive towards lots of people - parents, strangers, students, even to myself, when he is in a good mood. It's just that they are so immature and confused in a romantic area. Poor self esteem makes them look for constant validation from whereever they can get it, mostly from strangers, because it's easier.
Jen, are you sure that your Virgo ex wasn't just bored with his wife and predictable routine of family life ? Possibly the rest was an excuse for spicing up his emotional life. "Not being understood" is a classical line, which can be interpreted any way you want - and who can possibly prove otherwise ? Making yourself understood also requires dedication to make things work. It's like mumbling some uncomprehensible nonsense and blaming others for not understanding you...Well, I don't know, maybe you have any concrete information of what kind of things his wife didn't understand, or misinterpreted ? Would be interesting to know what he meant.
I had a dream last night, in which my Virgo and I were staying in some hotel by the sea, somewhere like Egypt. There was a beautiful view to the sea, except that there were bars at the balcony, like in prison, and small gaps in between the bars (captivity of a kind in the middle of abundance with possibility of escape?). I have effortlessly made those gaps bigger, so that we could see the sea better. I wanted to get out and go to the sea, and my Virgo wanted to go to see the piramides (emotional life versus spiritual ?). So we decided to do both (found the compromise ?). He said - "my friend Victor would enjoy this view" (Victor is blind, by the way), to which I said - "you mean Victor's sister? " (who is his ex flame. That would probably be my concern that there were still 3 of us in his mind) . That's how the dream ended.
I guess it means that no matter how we work on understanding each other and reaching the compromise, there will always be some doubt in my mind as for how many of us is there in a relationship. Any other ideas ?
They are guided by logic, reason & not emotions. Because of this they are not good with sensitive and emotional people. Although they are very sensitive & insecure people. They are perfectionist and seek the same in a partner. You need to be as close to perfect as you can be. They have high expectations of themselves and a partner. Dont expect grand displays of emotion its just not in their nature.
They are devoted, loyal, good providers and commited once they make up their minds thats its you!
Magickal, I realize most all astrological sites repeat this same paragraph and you are definitely right that it is somewhat true, but, the fact remains that "you. me or anyone" being the chosen one, does nothing for guaranteeing any type of devotion or loyalty. Why this paragraph has not been updated is beyond craziness. Also, there needs to be some upgrading for many of the astrological signs.
Now that I have made the above statement, if there is someone that truly has had a wonderful experience with a Virgo, please come forward and/or send your friends that have had a magnificent or wonderful time with a v i r g o so that it can be documented. LOL
Also, there is no way I would ever listen to any married male that is complaining of his wife. That is the oldest and sorriest thing anyone can do. Besides, if he complains about her, he'll complain about you. Most respectful people may make a statement of why their marriage didn't work, but they do not continue to complain. If it's that bad, they'd leave and if they don't, then it can't be very bad and they should keep their problems to themselves. IMHO, complainers remind me of two year old's that can't have their own way..