The heart of a Virgo man
Oh, it looks like my comment has disappeared again. Maybe it will reappear after I post this, as it sometimes happens.
Gem4ever - sorry to hear about your grandmother. You have been lucky to have her with you for so long you know. My favorite grandma died when I was just 7. I adored that woman and even now can't help but wonder how different life would have been if she'd been around. Although her passion for gardening and beautiful things is at the very heart of how I ended up in my career, so she truly did leave a life-long impression on me. The loss is made worse by the fact that her sisters lived to be very old ladies. One just died last year at the age of 96 and her youngest sister is still alive, in her nineties as well. So don't forget the bright side and what a gift you've had with knowing her for so long.
As for the other ladies with those fighting cancer, I appreciate some of what you are saying. My mother has lymphoma. She was diagnosed about 12 years ago and coexisted with it for about ten years before it turned on her with a vengence. Thought we were going to lose her for sure. She is a very self-reliant woman also and hates to have anyone in her business and never, I mean never, wants any help. It was a very humbling experience for her though as she came to realize how many people were really there for her and willing to help her through it. Never in my life had I seen my mother cry over anything other than pain in her life, and it brings a tear to my eye even now when I recall people showering her with love and attention. I watched my mom fight to hold back her tears. Mom had a very challenging life and as bad as things were at that time, I was so happy for her to have the experience of feeling such love that it melted her to tears. Moral to that story is, even if they resist the help, just keep giving and reminding them that you love them. Both will help them heal.
I stopped over to see Ariesman today. His ex-father-in-law is in the hospital dying as I type this. (Aren't we a gloomy bunch here today). I have my kids today and it was a challenge getting away, but I managed to stop by for an hour and give him a hug. He had said, "if you can get away you can come over if you want". I took that as a polite way of saying he could use some company. He was close to his father-in-law and that never changed after the divorce. He's checked on him everyday for weeks and has been helping his mother-in-law through this as well. It's sad that he's an outcast right now as his ex-wife and the rest of her family hold vigil at the hospital but he says he's at peace with it. When I was at his house Ariesman got a call and they said they figured his father-in-law would be gone within five hours. Incredible that they can predict it so specifically. Anyway, he's just waiting now for the phone call.
Oh, and I never told you ladies but when we got together Thursday we took things to the next level, if you know what I mean. Somebody here should have warned me - all that "Aries energy" that I wasn't seeing, well, I think I found it. There is nothing shy about this guy in the bedroom. Holy cow (understatement there because my real comment would get deleted). I mean maybe I should have seen it coming because he's very physical and extremely athletic for a man of any age. He stated very matter of factly, "no one can do it like I do". I might have thought he was vain and full of inflated ego, except that...well...I think he just might be right. He's like having a 30-year-old body with the experience of his 52 years. I'm not sure my self-esteem can handle this, he's making me feel old, lol. Anyway, today he made me promise I would stop by Tuesday, even if only for a minute, because it's Valentines Day. Of course I told him I would, he obviously has a surprise in mind. I'll keep you posted.
Jen, so sorry to hear about your mum and the Aries' father in law ! Hope your mum fights the lymphoma with determination, gets better soon, and I'm praying for her recovery !
It's unbelievable how many people have Cancer these days...Personally I am convinced that stress is hugely responsible for it. And yes, love is what people need most to help them heal.
Speaking of which, so glad you enjoyed intimacy with the Aries man ! I've never been with an Aries, so I had no idea what that would be like, so now I know You know, you shouldn't be concerned about being "too old" for him. Probably he was trying to impress you, because deep down he is concerned whether he is good enough for you. He obviously like you a lot, so try to just relax and enjoy him. I am sure that it's not the "performance" that he is looking for.
By the way, as I type, my Virgo friend is chatting online to someone called Estella the fashion designer, ha ha ! He asked me not to look when I was curious, and used as an excuse the fact that I don't let him read my correspondence with the ladies here. He is "reaching out" and making friends, as he said. Well, I have nothing against him reaching out to Estella the fashion designer, but I'll be d amned if I marry him. He is still talking about getting married ocasionally.
Hi. I ran into this forum and thread searching for info on Virgo men. The story in a nutshell:
I started working at this place in December. My manager was very nitpicky and I was kind of shocked at the level of nitpicking, especially toward me but I dealt with it because, well, he's my manager. Other than that he seemed nice. I found out he's a Virgo.
We talk to each other when I work and I will admit that I have asked some personal questions but only to figure him out. Then I started getting strange vibes from him and noticed him check out my ass once. I was kind of shocked yet strangely flattered (he's a nice looking guy kind of) but didn't think much of it UNTIL---fast forward a couple weeks. I get home from a week off and his wife comes into where we work the day I get back and gives me the dirtiest look (I think she's a Cancer).
So this got me thinking. Was this Virgo guy really checking me out? Also, after having read this thread, maybe the wife knows something about her husband's proclivity for having affairs. Then there are some weird undercurrents (I'm a scorp--we're ALL about the undercurrents) that started coming to surface--like other women that come to the restaurant started checking me out. Everyone knows each other here and they are all friends with the wife.
Now I'm laughing because maybe this 'really nice unassuming man who checked my ass out' is really a complete pimp. LOL I feel like I might be stuck in the middle of something. Maybe I gave this guy the wrong impression--I'm very friendly to everyone.
I'm trying to figure a way out of this situation. It feels like its getting out of control. Maybe I'll just ignore him and hope he turns his attention somewhere else. Good plan?
Hi ScorpwithWings, and welcome to the thread. Yes, I think yours is a good plan. This might become a tricky situation, if you are not careful. Chances are that the Virgo is doing the usual Virgo thing - getting some kind of fantasy life/affair, in addition to his family life. Be careful - Virgos are quite addictive, and they know how to get into your heart. They also know how to break it.
Thanks Volpy. You are right, things could get tricky. I've noticed a new hire has started flirting with him--maybe that will draw his attention. I like my job. I thought we were friend-like, but i can see from this thread that might be one of the reel-ins Virgo plays. I'm too old for that crap.
Just wanted to say Happy Valentine's Day to all the beautiful ladies on this thread
Happy Valentine's Day Ladies.......Have a good Day........................
Happy Valentine's Day, beautiful Ladies !
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
Scorpwithwings - Glad you joined us here. Yep, I'd keep my distance with that Virgo man and just keep it about the work. If Cancer wife was giving you the eye it probably isn't directed to you, but you should heed the message anyway. She probably already has good reasons to be suspicious of him. Probably already wondering if you are next. No reason for you to stress as long as you just stay out of things. Get on friendly terms with his wife if that's possible. That should help repel any potential advances. I agree with VoplySoply, be careful. These guys can get into your head before you know what hit you and it's obviously a challenge getting them back out.
Thanks for all the Valentines greetings here. Hope everyone had a nice day! I was relieved to get a heart-shaped box of chocolates from Ariesman. My worry after last week was that he'd give me something from Victoria's Secret and I just would have been so disappointed with that at this stage of things. I prefer him thinking about me first, and not just getting in my knickers. Being a man he's probably thinking about that too, but I'm glad he showed some restraint and kept things nice instead of naughty. Oh, and the card said, "Thank you for finding me. Love, Ariesman".
Jen, your Ariesman really sounds like a very nice person ! Hope it continues this way.
I've spend the Valentine's night playing with the Virgo (playing music). It was nice, but we didn't concentrate on a Valentine aspect of it . For the last couple of days he keeps chatting to a whole bunch of strangers online in an attempt to get himself out of depression. His inicial idea was to join some buddhist community, or some other spiritually orientated forum, but he ended up chatting to all kinds of people, mostly women. According to him, he makes it clear to whoever he talks to that he is not interested in relationships, as I asked him not to mislead women, who might assume otherwise from his "soul matey" writing style.
Jen, Ariesman sounds very, very nice and do men really buy women they just started dating something from VS? If so, hmm.
VS, you're funny when u speak of your guy. Sounds to me like he is going thru male menopause and needs to know he is still appealing or attractive as he was in his youth. Actually, we all crave attention, some just more than others.
SWW, welcome and please visit often. Jen is correct. Your safest bet is to befriend the wife and just do your job. If that doesn't scare your boss off, then maybe another place of employment might be in your future. Good luck!
Hope everyone's Valentine's Day was special!
VoplySoply - Knowing what we do about Virgo men at this point I am wondering if all of this on-line stuff is good for your Virgo. I think he would do himself more good if he could inch his way into some real social situations. Technology must be the greatest thing that ever happened in the lives of some Virgo men the way it allows them to hide out instead of looking people in the eye. His on-line chatting is a start , but hopefully he will go meet a few people in real life. And since he is so busy making new friends, what about you, hmm?
AriesBB - To answer your question, nothing surprises me anymore...
Dear Jenever 7 , I have just joined the forum after accidentally finding the posts regarding your Virgo. Read quite through to understand that the situation is exactly as I am in.
I am seeing this Virgo male for 3 years, whois married to a Leo has a kid who's 3 n half years old. We had joined the company and became friends during the training.I soon got married to a cancerian i had an affair with (well I moved due to job after PG and still kept in contact) during my postgraduation. I had my first escapade with my Virgo just before my wedding date, it was wonderfull and wasnot serious about him. But i knew I was not in love with the cancerian, however i did marry because, I felt responsible for the feelings that cancerian had for me for which he decided to marry me.
However, we (cancer and me) always stayed in two different states due to our job, and I always made it a point to go to him and his parents(he stays with his parents) every 2 months for atleast 5 days. He had reservations to come to see me because- it bores him to come here (I stay with my parents), he doesnt get leave, he cant get another suitable job, etc.
I mostly managed to keep cancer and virgo chapters apart. Marriage always came first. However, teh friendship between me and the Virgo guy started to become serious. we went on tours together, making holiday trips, secret meets. I have to agree that all of those were seldom sexual. I mean physical relations were the last things on our mind. My husband came to know through couple of messages which I forgot to delete from my cell phone. Things became nasty, I broke up with Virgo, and devoted totally to marriage.
Lost most of my friends( i had very few). However, things between me and husband smooth.Staying absolutely alone without spouse and friend, took a toll i started having depressions and became desperate so depended more and more on my husband. But he was never there, i tried to be as much understanding as i could be, handling my mother in laws dissatisfaction all the time, his unhappines and sorrows, my sister in laws anger towards me and everything. I had lost Vorgo so no exhaust for me....
I was over one year since my life had changed and secretly i had hoped that staying away from Virgo would lessen my pain and trouble. but the feelings kept on growing. we never communicated- he made it a point to not even accidentally bump into each other.
Suddenly after about one year 6 months i called him up just to say hi. He was very curt and formal. I took the first step and asked him when he had time to meet me at my cabin. WHen he came I told that i would like it if we were friends again. He accepted and said that " I wanted the same thing when you broke up. we could atleast be exhausts for eachother and probably that would help us to improve our conduct towards our respective families".
Since then we became very good friends. But, in th last six months we gave eachother much space, moreso because my marriage was on rocks. IMy husbands mother is demanding a baby and my husband is also. But I am not ready yet and neither i am ready to leave my job. It was decided that my husband would come over to my city with a job and settle. However when my moher in law ordered me to leave my job and come to their place immediately, I refused. My in laws asked me to chose between my job and my husband. I asked my husband to intervene-he refused, , pleaded my husband to talk things over at a third place-he refused. I went over stayed over one month and tried to convince them that forcing me would never benefit anyone of us. But they dint agree. Mu=y husband become physical , and i detest it, I couldnt stand him touching me anymore.
I came back, refused to go. I asked him to come to me and talk he refused again. Now we are formally discusisng mutual divorce.
I dont know where I go from here. I am in love with Virgo, he loves me too. But I know probably he would never leave his wife and kids. He's financially broke, thanks to his overdemanding wife and his career restart. And he wont go for separation.
Can anyone help me please, I'm a cancer female (20/07/1984) my ex is a Virgo male (05/09/1980)
We've been together for a year and 3 months. He ended it and says he wants to be friends but seems to still want me and is more interested in what I'm doing and where I'm going like its bugging him. We still have to live together until our lease is up in July. He has said that his not happy with his life work or friends and that his lost himself and is planning to go traveling when our lease is up. He has said that he loves me very much but wants to take the pressure of a relationship off of us and be friends and who knows when he gets back we might be better together. Anyway I've said ok if that's what you want as I can't make him want me but he hurts soooo much as I love him.
So I've tried to get on with things and the other day he came on to me and we slept together. It's only been a week since he ended it. I've been making plans and going out as I am new to London and not got many friends. Whereas his always put his friends first and goes out couple of times a week. But I've pushed myself to go to any invite I get. Ive had a great time and its helped put a smile on my face. He seems to want to know what I'm doing and if I'm out he texted to see if I'm coming home. He looked over my shoulder the other day to see who I was texting. It's like he doesn't want me as a girlfriend but doesn't want to loose me. yet still comes on to me in bed. He put his hand on my bum the other night as my back was to him and I just ignored him.
I don't know what to think, how to feel or anything. Am I just being used or is he confused and needs space and for me to say no if he comes on to me.
Please help! X
I feel like I just got the rug pulled out from under me out of nowhere. Ms. Sunny or anyone else with any insight...My initial is R but I go by B dob is 11/16/82...guys is W but goes by E dob is 9/1/86. back story. I was married to a good guy who really cared about me. I just never felt he was the one and I think I stayed with him because it was easy. We just wanted different things in life and had totally different religious beliefs that made it hard...but I always had this horrible gut feeling I'd meet someone else and leave and that made me feel aweful. My ex was the only guy and serious relationship I'd ever been in..Virgos back story...was engaged to his first she cheated had a kid and he stayed and helped raise her kid. She didnt feel he was right for her so she left a month before their wedding..totally unrelated to me I'm told.
Now for our crazy fd up story..Spring of 2010...starts working with me. The first time I saw him before even talking something captivated me. We got to know each other and realized we had a lot in common and I felt like we really had a connection and just got each other and it seems like were on the same wavelength can finish each others sentences say the same things at the same time. we are both so alike its scary. It's just this look he can give me and it makes me not be able to think a coherent thought. So we both realized we liked each other. He told me I made it hard not to cross that line we got closer..we ended up having **** 3 times which we both felt bad about..which was like how amazing its portrayed in the movies and nothing like id ever felt before. It's like we tried everything to do the right thing and not be cheaters but we kept going back to each other. He told me he had to stop the infatuation with me or else he never would, that he thought about me when he shouldn't, that he could see himself with me, that he wasn't sure why he felt close to me or why this all happened with me, that he's never really felt this wanted in the way I wanted him, that the selfish part of him didnt want this to end. It really felt he wanted me but to do the right thing was tomarry his ex and give her daughter a real family.
They had their issues and shed get scared every time and leave and come back..well she left and didnt come back(may of 2011). I was still married at the time and he was hurt and alone. He did something I didnt expect...He immediately went to another friend to sleep with all the while saying she wasnt what he wanted and I was better, so he still pursued me untill I was ready to take that risk to be with him. Once I left my marriage things changed completely. Then it was well I just want a friends with benefits kind of thing and I totally fell for it thinking he just needed time to heal but that I'd have to be the only one he was sleeping with and he said ok. Everything seemed fine we talked ALL the time hung out almost every night we didnt work. Then right before christmas he just all of a sudden ignored me for two weeks, I questioned him about still being into me or not and he said. I dunno just been depressed, busy, and it got old what people at work thought. Things have been weird and awkward ever since(the last 2 months). I mentioned that this week and he said he just shut down when he realized how I felt. I probed further and he said I wanted him way more than he wanted me and wanted too serious way to fast. now he claims he knows how I feel and he doesnt know how to act around me. Theres so much tension between us now. **** act cold but then every once in awhile he'll say something flirty like he might still be interested. Maybe I pushed too hard too fast I dont know. Is there any chance of getting my virgo back or should I just move on? This is all knew for me. we are both the good kid type. Is he afraid of getting hurt? Is he really just a player(He doesn't look the player type..hes kind of dorky goofy cute)? Should I ignore and wait? or just move on? I'm so confused....I can't get past how everything was one way and now its another....it felt so perfect meant to be kind of thing.maybe i've ruined it for holding things in and exploding my feelings when I can't take anymore...we used to be able to talk about how we were feeling now I get the very cold shoulder and silence.
Welcome to all the new ladies! Wow, I just popped on to see what was new and will have to come back later. Didn't expect such a big Virgo day here. Hopefully some of our other friends will be on to start some discussion here. I will be back... Again, glad you found us here. :-).
Librascorpian - First of all, good call on the Cancer guy. Unless you are living in some culture that requires you to answer to your husband’s entire family (I live in the U.S. so I assume this is possible), the situation THEY put you in is ridiculous. Your husband should be supporting you and a decision as serious as having a baby should be made between you two. What if it turned out that you two couldn’t even have a baby, then what would THEY do! What if turned out that their own son were sterile? Hm, wouldn’t that be an interesting situation. In any case, shame on Cancer guy for being so spineless.
Also, why are you both living with parents instead of with each other? You two invite interference by living under someone else’s roof, worst of all a parent’s roof. Again, maybe there are things I do not understand culturally, but if you're old enough that you are married, then maybe you really should have been figuring out how you were going to support yourselves independently a long time ago? Anyway, whatever happens next I believe you will be better off without him. The power struggle going on in your circumstance is huge. It's you against a whole family. The only way to "win" is to live your life to make everyone but yourself happy. That kind of imbalance is not good for you or anyone else. Walk away now so that you can find someone who will care about your feelings and your wishes mutually.
Which, unfortunately, that "someone" is probably not going to be your Virgo. Look at his list of excuses already: no money, no stability with the new career, no interest in separation, doesn't want to leave his kids..... I'm going to assume that your Virgo isn't in love with his wife (although I'm sure he loves her out of respect as the mother of his children). And this is where it gets so perplexing with men like this - they won't respect their spouse enough to leave them and allow them to find a man who loves and respects them faithfully, and yet they put everything at risk with their infidelity. He won’t commit to anything with you because of his marriage. He obviously doesn’t fully commit to his wife. What will he commit to? Nothing that has to do with what anyone else wants or needs – only what he wants and needs at the moment apparently. You will go on with him like this for three more years, unless his wife dumps him maybe. But then he will be even more broke, and you would still have zero assurance that he will want a serious relationship with you. This would probably more likely result in him telling you he needs a break to “go find himself”. You will see this in one of the posts following yours and my Virgo is also is set on “soul searching and finding himself”. My worry for you is that you will have many heartbreaking, lonely days ahead spinning your emotional wheels trying to figure out what to do about this man while he thinks only about what he wants for himself. Think about what you really want and ask yourself if he is really that man. I know you love him, I know exactly what that feels like, but you need your love too. You may decide that you just need to just wipe the slate clean and open yourself to finding someone brand new.
B1984 and 22aloqab - Sorry I have to do some things for work tomorrow and deal with my kids here. I will try to get back on later for you.
VoplySoply - B1984's post reminds me very much of your Virgo's emotional state. Maybe you have some thoughts on her situation?