The heart of a Virgo man



  • Hi again, sorry for the three posts, but I forgot to say that I have been reading my cards tarot, and other, however, because I am too emotional over this I am quite naturally reading what I want into them and not getting a good reading. Even my dreams, which I am adept at interpreting are not very clear at this time again because of being too emotional.......I just can't see the forest for the trees.



  • My goodness, that is quite the story. I really don't know how to respond to that, your situation seems so difficult. Has he even hinted that he would be willing to relocate? Are you sure you absolutely will not relocate. My goodness Malaika1 this seems like a very difficult situation in deed. It seems both he and his wife no longer wish to be together but even if they should divorce, are you willing to do a long distance relationship or find a middle ground? Is there a middle ground? It seems like a very very difficult position indeed. I think in this situation you definitely need to open up some communication with him and decide if pursuing this is even a possibility should he and his wife divorce? I do feel for you my dear, this probably was not much help. =(



  • Chiana63, thank you for your response. Yes, I thought that it was quite an unusual situation, but we always think OUR story is unusual. Your response confirmed for me that indeed it is different.

    Yes, he talked of relocating, but he doesn't realize the difficulties in so doing, even if he could obtain the visa. And, when he talks of this he is not even thinking of his kids. He did say that he would take a one year sabbatical from work. He doesn't have the money to do this. He quit a great job to do this "mission" and now only receives a pittance to survive on. Everything depends on donations. This past month he has been more into his "work" than for the past year. He is running at full speed. He doesn't need to tell me because I can follow everything on his website, blog, and the news feeds from the various churches and schools in other countries.Two days ago they had unexpected heavy rains and flash floods so the slum was devastated. Yesterday he took the laptop around and showed me the damage and a lot of the kids were there to say hi and they were all smiling in spite of it all........just more to pull my heart strings.

    Thank you for caring and responding.

    How are you faring with your Virgo?



  • Hi all, I just wanted to comment on my name Malaika. It means angel in Swahili. Some of you have mentioned that your Virgo man has called you an angel......well I guess it is international with V men because he called me his Malaika even before we met. It must be a Virgo thing,no?



  • I am so sorry if all my posts upset anyone. Please forgive me, but I feel so different being able to do this instead of my private journal. It is like a confession, in that I am writing something that others read and can comment on which gives me input that my journal writing did not.

    The question of the moment is - can I love him, can he love me and we just let it be as that......love each other without expecting?

    If we are not meant to visit/ live/marry I think that the above would be very good. I am a good woman and he is a good man, perhaps the powers that be have put us together to learn love. To love does not necessarily mean to be together, just to love and let the other fulfill his or her destiny.

    What do you think?



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  • Malaika - First off "welcome", you certainly have a place here. I don't think I can add to what the others have said at this point. There are so many good suggestions as to the questions you must ask yourself and work out with your man. There does seem to be a challenge in all of our situations to figure out what love does really mean. Love without physical contacts...it is still love, and a very great, and in many ways pure love...but it is not a "relationship" - a daily interaction that brings you fulfillment. I will never stop loving my Virgo, I've never known anyone like him, but truly, I am believing more and more that it will take the hand of Fate to bring us together, because, whether it's a "weakness" or not, I want a relationship at some point. Not years of imagining what things might be. My Virgo is like a fairytale at this point. Mimi, you nailed it too, these guys will put service to others before their personal needs. My Virgo let that slide for a while - or I wouldn't even know him, but, clearly he will not be budged by his dedication to his children. Admirable, but it's not working for me or for "us".

    Malaika, please post here anytime, even if it's just to ramble or get your feelings out. So many helpful people here and so honest. I can't imagine how I would have come through things with my Virgo at certain points if I hadn't come here. I will check back, but have to run for now.



  • Mimi and Jenever, thank you both so much.

    Mimi, yes he would love to move here, Canada, but a visa to immigrate is next to impossible and I do believe that when push came to shove he would never leave his slum children. When we talked just about him moving on in a career and leaving them, he said there was no one who could do it!!! I don't know for sure that I wouldn't move there. I would need to have a lot more than what we have right now to do it. An option would be for me to spend three months there - Dec/Jan/Feb and see how it goes. He will find out on Monday if he has been selected to give his paper at the UN in NY this summer. If so, then we will have time together when he is finished. He will apply for a visitor's visa and come here.

    Jenever, thanks so much for pointing out the love/relationship angle. I never separated the two!

    And, the hand of fate statement was right on. With the clarity you have provided, what I was trying to say was - if I love him and he loves me then we don't have to push anything because if it is our karma to be together we will be, if it is not we will still love but be apart and not have that kind of relationship. Our relationship would be of love for the other and love in seeing the other fulfill all that is theirs.

    Does this make sense? OR am I dreaming.



  • Mimi and Jenever, thank you both so much.

    Mimi, yes he would love to move here, Canada, but a visa to immigrate is next to impossible and I do believe that when push came to shove he would never leave his slum children. When we talked just about him moving on in a career and leaving them, he said there was no one who could do it!!! I don't know for sure that I wouldn't move there. I would need to have a lot more than what we have right now to do it. An option would be for me to spend three months there - Dec/Jan/Feb and see how it goes. He will find out on Monday if he has been selected to give his paper at the UN in NY this summer. If so, then we will have time together when he is finished. He will apply for a visitor's visa and come here.

    Jenever, thanks so much for pointing out the love/relationship angle. I never separated the two!

    And, the hand of fate statement was right on. With the clarity you have provided, what I was trying to say was - if I love him and he loves me then we don't have to push anything because if it is our karma to be together we will be, if it is not we will still love but be apart and not have that kind of relationship. Our relationship would be of love for the other and love in seeing the other fulfill all that is theirs.

    Does this make sense? OR am I dreaming.



  • Sorry for the double post



  • Thank you thank you thank you........

    The tears are streaming down my cheeks as I type. This has been an Aha moment for me. I feel like one of the burdens I have been carrying has been lifted (or at least shifted) with the change in my thinking re love and relationships. I am just not that logical, remember I am the super emotional Cancer. I do hope and pray that this is not just a temporary moment of seeing the light before I crawl back into my shell.



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  • I just googled him again and found a site that I had previously seen, but ignored. On top of all his church and school connections around the world who support and donate to his cause he is also, or was 2008, the national director of an international evangelical group who supports children and families in their plight. OMG more! I knew that many of the children call him pastor, but this is real and in addition to all the churches around the world who support him.

    There is no way that I can do anything but love him. It's not a wife and kids - it's a life long mission.

    Oh yes, I do remember him telling me about some position he held with some world religious org. when I had asked him why he had lived in this and that African country (which I found by google) and he was surprised that I knew and told me he worked for such and such. What is this?????Am I in love with a man of the cloth. There is so much more here that I have yet to work on.

    Well, at least I picked a GOOD man this time!!!!!!!!



  • Hello Everyone on this thread,

    I am sorry that I am not responding to your plight, but at this time I am totally self absorbed. I am, however, sending out my prayers and good vibrations to you all. I wish that only the best happens for each of us.



  • Mimi, you are so right. I am not talking to anyone I know here about this. How incredible that am laying soul open on a public forum. Thank you. I am crying and this forum lets me know I am not along.

    Love



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  • Thank you Mimi,

    You are right, I have no one to tell this to except you folks here because you do no judge. Thank you for being there for me. In the future I hope to be able to be there for others.......pay it forward as they say. You folks are my life line right now. Thanks.



  • Thank you..........I need to feel connected to someone right now and it cannot be anyone here because they would never understand.



  • I didn't mean here on this site, I meant here in my home.

    t



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