The heart of a Virgo man

  • Jenever- I commend you for finding (and more importantly keeping) the strength to let go and move forward. I know this was and still isn't easy.

    Vic - wow your analysis is well written and clearly well thought out. I admire your ability to separate logic from emotion and take the steps necessary to move forward in the direction you choose, despite the temporary pain this may cause.

    I have been replaying different experiences my ex V and I experienced and like Jenever said what really helps is focusing on the negative. I feel a variety of emotions, but I don't regret walking away. I am still numb in terms of having him out of my life, no sadness, regret, nothing. I dread what will happen when the numbness fades and the emotions take over but I will deal with that if/when it occurs.

    I have a date this weekend with someone new. Im not looking to jump into anything right now, but it will be nice to spend time with a "normal" man : )

  • I find it amazing how all of us suddenly decided to dump our Virgos. 🙂 Weird as it feels, it must be good on a long run, because truth must be said, they are not emotionally mature people, capable of being emotionally availiable on a consistent basis.

    Good luck to everybody with this undertaking,

    Voply Soply (writing from my Virgo friend's computer) LOL. Hope he never finds out.

  • Hi Vs, you are dead on about my dad's resentment towards me. Even though he was always responsible and alert for my well being, no words but action. Every time me and mom had problems I could read his silent disagreement towards her behavior. I know he cares about me, but not enough to accept me completely. I know that he always wonders what his life would be if he stayed with his first wife.. and he would, if it wouldn't be for me to begin with.

    Thats how I developed my love language (Physical tough). Thats how I express and receive love. I feel loved when kissed and touched. And I return it to express my love to the person. I cant separate just s-e-x from love. For me its same thing. And unfortunately for most men one has nothing to do with another. Thats why I cant go out and just find myself a f-u-c-k buddy. Wont be able to touch some one who I do not love. SO it looks like "no s-e-x" for me for a very long time now.. Until I fall in love again 😞

  • Vic, most women can't separate love and s e x in my knowledge, unlike most men. Fortunately there are some men who are more like women in this respect. Before you fall in love next time, please make sure he is availiable and unattached.

  • And yes ladies, I took a peace of paper and made a map of possible outcomes. All of them. Even the most unpleasant ones. I mentioned only 4 in my post above. I had many more. Again, non of them were happy ones. I put all my feelings in a can and closed the lead. its preserved until better times, if any to come with him ever again. Now I am working on it only with logic, and logically the only way to get what I want (even here its 50/50% chance)- leaving him - will give me more odds.

    Cause now once I am gone, guess who he will resent more? Exactly his wife. (They NEVER blame themselves, we know that already, lol) He will think because of her he could not keep me. Now we switched the sides. I'll become lost "happiness" and she will become a cause of it.

    Of cause he might go out and find me a replacement, but the odds are is just too hard for men in general to connect with someone. (You minimize this odds drastically if you are a married man) They go true dozens of women till they connect with one. (My best friend male explained me exactly how it works in men's brain and what it takes to connect). Even if he does find another girl who will put up with him for so long as I did, the result could be very much the same. He cant commit and love 100%, because he is already unhappily committed and already loves 100%.... himself and himself only, lol!!

  • hey ladies sorry for being out of touch.....too much is going on in life,at times life just gets hard to handle .The reason being this weird complicated virgo man...things are getting pretty out of control and therefore i thought i neeeded a break and was off again!travelling surely helps alot but thn again in the end u come back to where you were.!

    things were a "bit" stable with him but thn after listening about random girls for the 10000th time ,i started ignoring my virgo. he msgd me four days back saying he was busy with his female cousins ,i didnt respond back to him and yestrday he calld me asking as to whre i was....i said i was out of city...he was baffled...he said he thought i wud tell him before going ...i said i i cut the conversation short and said i wud gt back to him later as i was out at tht time...i came home back and called him but since thn no response...the weird part is...tht this has never happnd before...anytime he misses my calls he always gets back to me but now no text no call nothing...i am really hassled..i really dunt know ....did i really pissed him much ?...i mean honestly the way he takes our relation,seeing tht i can no way get way too serious with him...sooo was my sudden cold shoulder attitude wrong?

    you ladies have no idea how much trouble these virgo men are!

    i am on vacations and not working and on top of tht his behavior makes me go crazy...all wht i want to thn do is run out of the city off to some other place!!!!!

  • @vic wht did ur male frend exactlee tell yu bout the connecting thing....would yu please share:)

  • really sorry i said u ladies have no idea....i have lost it really!my mind has stopped functioning

  • Vic, just concentrate on your life and happiness and don't waste your energy on guessing what will happen in his and his wife's life. Let them be, look for a good availiable man who would deserve you.

    Hi Daisy, we are all dumping our Virgos here. 🙂 Join the trend.

  • Daisy screw him he just didn't return the call because you didn't tell him before you left town.

    Voply this man is not taking me serious he thinks I am just blowing smoke up his wazoo! He literally laughed at my dismissal of him. smh! He thinks I will be in his control. I guess I gotta show him better than I can tell him!

    Vic...I can't even keep up.... whew my heart goes out to you dear. Put yourself first!

  • Oh my goodness, you all gave me some smiles today. Vic - your analysis of everything is awesome. Given how deep your involvement has been with "N" it's incredible to me how much clarity you have found. You must be very ready to make the move. 🙂

    Okay, I did something impulsive last week. Quite some time ago my brother had suggested that I get on a dating site and just "play the field for a while". He had said, "you've been with the same man for 16 years, go have some fun and see what it's like out there". Now a dating site is just where I found all this trouble with Virgo. But in spite of that, totally on the spur of the moment last week, I flipped together a profile to see what was out there. Mind you I am expecting the worst because I know there is a certain level of craziness on dating sites. I figured best case scenario, I'd remind myself that men are a pain in the but* and I'd just move on, then the other best case scenario is that I might meet someone nice. Well, certainly I have already stumbled upon some incredible jerks, but on the other hand, there are a couple of men that seem very nice that I have been chatting with. Even if I never meet them, this has really helped balance me out right now. It's a good reminder that not all guys are emotional misfits, some seem to actually know what they want in life, and have optimism, and don't have wives, lol.

    I am chatting with a couple of Virgos too. It's very interesting now that I know so much about them. I've got Mr. Aloof, not coming forward and yet not going away. He won't tell me if he's truly interested or not. Going to keep things hanging for a while. What's funny is that he is the one who stated on his profile that he is looking for a relationship. The other stated right on his profile he is "taking things slow" that he has made the mistake of rushing into things and does't want to do that again - if that's a problem don't contact him. So I'm ignoring Mr. Aloof and I haven't said anything whatsoever to the other about meeting him or relationships, or what I'm looking for, absolutely nothing. Just jumped in talking about some mutual interests like I'd known him forever. And he has been very responsive and chatty. Not sure I really should go there again with a Virgo, but it's not like I don't get along with my Virgo. We get along perfectly actually - he just can't be in my life. What might happen with a Virgo who could be in my life? I'm still open to finding out. Not so much with Mr. Aloof though. I sense that "yo-yo" thing with him already. Yeah, he wants a relationship - so he has someone to play with. But I'd give this other one a chance if things continue on a pleasant note.

    I have a cute Libra who said, "rats, I just said I would meet someone this weekend to see how things go and now I find you". Haha, how like a libra to find himself with two options and not know what to do. I told him, "meet her, see what you think, you don't really know anything about me and she might be your Ms. Right, you must find out!" He assured me that he'll let me know right away. How wierd it is to hear a man say that and actually feel like he means it. Then I have the poetry writing Taurus. He seems very sweet, but I think he's been deeply hurt in the past. I'm enjoying talking to him, and the poetry thing is very cool. He writes music as well and is planning a recording in Chicago soon, but he feels like a land-mine with all that unresolved pain floating around inside him. Van Gough might have been an artistic genius, but would you have wanted to date him? I wouldn't. There's even more guys sitting in my mailbox. I haven't had time to even check them all out. I have bouts when I feel my Virgo disconnection very deeply, but less all the time, and I think my brother had the right idea - just have some fun and meet some people, go from there. I might just decide I want to leave it all alone and just do my own thing for a while. Part of the problem with being caged up with Virgo's problems was getting hung up on the "lack". I've known all along that we might not really even like each other if we had more time to spend together, the frustration has been not being given the chance to even find out. Just time dragging on and on...reminding me of what the relationship lacks. Wishing for just a little more time together to find out what was really there, and if it was nothing, then just move on.

    Funny it was Virgo who said just exactly what several of you here are saying, he said, "well, if it's meant to be it will happen". I think this is ridiculous after knowing each other as long as we have. My response was, "Fate drops a lot of things in our lives but we are left to make the choices, we control our fate through our choices". See, that's exactly why "Fate" is going to give him what he asks for in this relationship. He has chosen his fate. Unless he shocks the hel*l out of me and says something that would convice me otherwise, he's just going to let Fate do whatever it wants with him. And just look how happy that has made him so far in life. 😉

  • Jenever I am so glad to hear you are thinking of dating others. Please keep us posted and for all the other ladies, you all sound like you're doing pretty darn good! Daisy, please listen to the other ladies! Hugs ♥

  • Jenever, I am so happy for you that you went on a dating website.....and it sounds like you really can read the Virgo's which is good....don't let them get away with anything..... 😉

    So I have been strong to and went a a dating website....but i am not finding anyone that I am interested in.

    I have decided to finish my Master's degree and was inspired by Snowball.....I am not ready to date anyone.....I am to mad at my Virgo right now...I will eventually though.

    Hope all is well with all of you!!!

  • Nice Jen! Good for you, I wish I have this fire in me right now and date, lol. Very GOOD for you!

    Yes, we DID had tones of time together, and as sad as it sounds now, it was wonderful. Everything! EVERY SINGLE TIME, I am talking about hundred times maybe, lol. What was killing me is a time apart with no contact. I NEED to keep in touch. He doesn't. Thats a problem 😞

    I had a sign the other day (this Sunday). I was walking on the street and I see a coin (a dime) on the ground. That morning I woke up in anxiety. I felt like I am so close to some kind of resolution in our relationship. And I asked in my head: what would it take for me to follow thru with my decision. (leaving him). Or if I am making the wrong one.. PLS something stop me!!!!

    I found a dime. I picked it up. The old man behind me said: You cant even buy a coffee with that, but if you add it to my other change, I could buy one (homeless man). I smiled and flipped it in the air for him to catch it. He did. With his other palm on the top of it. He said: btw if you need an answer to any question, all you have to do is to pick the side of the coin landed at. it took me a second to ask myself a question.. "SHOULD I SET HIM FREE?" The coin said "yes".

    I came home and sent him that email..

    But wait a minute..

    3 hrs later had to go to pick up my child from my Mom's place. SHe lives 30 mins drive on the other side of the city. Stuck in traffic. Turned my wheel at the first small street to escape it. Without any thinking ahead. 20 meters later I see N's car parked in the front of one of the houses. (seeing his car was not weird due him going to "in house appointments" all the time for his clients). What shocked me was, I never ran into him randomly since our first break up. Its something like, hey, there are million of cars all over our huge city and here is the one I try not to run into again, lol.

    More better. I am thinking "oh gosh, this is not happening, cant deal with it right now, nor want to bump into him again". I put more on gas to pass it by quickly. Another 20 meters - the train track, same second red signal goes on, train tracks getting closed down due train passing by. I literally got stopped 20 meters away from his car and still can see it in my mirror. I am trapped. All the sadden I see the door of that house opens. I KNEW IT WAS HIM COMING OUT!!!! I did not look any further, made a U-turn and went back on busy traffic street.

    All I asked that day for a sign. And this is what happened. Is too late to debate which one of them was the actual sign. Just stating what happened that day.

  • Go with the first sign Vic. You had a burning question on your mind, you found the dime that led you to the man who said, "tell me your question and the coin will answer it". It's all synchronicity, but I'd stick with the actual answer to your first question. What a day for you though! That is alot of strangeness in one day.

  • Yah, I know Jen. What freaked me out a lot was that I asked "If I am making the wrong decision pls something stop me. And when the railway post came down closing my way to leave the place where his car was... I honestly felt like something "above" is making fun on me... lol Go figure now 🙂

  • Vic, you need to keep coming to this site when you feel you're slipping back. Take a few breaths before making any decision towards your guy (calling, texting), cuz you're writings reveal you are truly not ready to move on. If you take a few breaths and think about all that you've gone thru, you will realize that as of today, nothing has changed with your guy so do not give him any easy in back to you.... "Insanity is doing the exact same thing, expecting a different result", we all just need to recognize the 'insanity'! 🙂

  • Vic, the first sign is definitely THE sign. the second is some All the classic ingredients are there - a homeless, who you give a coin, and he gives you an advice back...It's like meeting an angel, or God undercover, or something...Really like a fairy tale. The second "sign" - that kind of things often happen to me too. Often when I think, or talk about someone disturbing, the next thing that happens - I bump into this person, or this person makes an appearence somehow. I see it as a kind of a test - to test my strength and will power. So yes, take a deep breath and keep moving forward.

    Jen, so happy that you are having fun chatting guys up ! I have a sister in law who is doing the dating site, her stories are so hilarious sometimes ! If nothing else, it's a great fun and a study of human/male nature. She also has nick names for them - a Horseman, a Culture man etc...

  • After "THE sign" next phrase is " ALL classic ingredients..." Sorry, was typing too fast and didn't check what I've written...:-)

  • Hi guys! Unfortunately, I'm back 😞 If you remember I had a virgo guy that I became engaged to within 5 weeks. Something major happened in my life and I was looking to him for support, which I did not receive. I ended up leaving and moving about 12 hours away to a job that would help me take care of the events that happened. I left all of my belongings in his house while I was gone for 5 months. I went to thailand just before heading back to move my things out. I thought I was strong enough to stay away from him but we ended up back together. It's been three months now and I am regretting the decision 😞 I did move all my furniture home and then back again! So I am living with him again. My house is now up for sale. I have a new job where he lives that is going well. I just found out last week that a month after we got back together he sent my good friend (his best friends wife--they have been split up for six months but he still wants her back) texts asking her to have sex with him--saying he feels a connection with her and wonders what it would be like to be with her!!!! I am devastated! We have talked a bit about it. I told him I would try to put it in the past but I am having a hard time with it. My head is telling me that if he loved me he wouldn't have done that. He did give me back my engagement ring (with no date set) a month after he did that. He said he is with me because he loves me alot. I am trying to get over it. A friend of ours is getting married soon and we have been helping get the site ready. My man and I were supposed to get married last weekend from the first time the date was set. It came up that we should get married at this site at the end of the summer to which he adamantly replied NO and I am hurt by this. I figured if he was going to make it up to me and prove to me that he really does care about me this would have been the way to do it. Don't get me wrong...I don't want to push or force anyone into marriage. I have never been married and it's because that is for life to me. It doesn't feel right anymore anyways. I feel like leaving again. When he doesn't answer his phone or things like that I am having a hard time not wondering what he is doing. I think that will eventually stop. A part of me feels like I would like to give him the chance to see if things will work but a part of me feels he is going to do something to hurt me again. I am confused about how to handle all of this. You guys were all so great last time with your insights. If you have some time and some thoughts I would really appreciate you sharing them. thx.

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