The heart of a Virgo man

  • Hi Jenever,

    to respond to your comment about "Why is it so hard for people to just be real and get out of the games?"

    I'll give you my opinion...

    I think our emotional states and knowledge of our emotional states, why our brains do what they do, with the hormones etc...I think all that has superceded our unevolved human needs as neanderthals.

    We know too much.

    We need to get back in time about 10,000 years. Remember what we need a bit more, pass over what we think we want, or at least let it ride until the chemicals wear off.

    If we did that, and didn't fight our rational, clingy side so much, we'd be one of the smart girls..

    Ug Ug.

  • Thank you Jenever. Hitting the gym and yoga are helping. The most annoying thing is he doesn't want to acknowledge the truth. He is still living somewhere in his world where lying and blaming are acceptable. To make it worse, he want's 'us' to see where we go. There is no more we....he destroyed that. I actually tried to be forgiving and be a friend. He says he's been going through a lot. To me that is Reverse Psychology to keep me clingy and needy. Am hurting though happier knowing the real him.

    At first, I was hard on myself. I was right there who does that????? Anyhow one day at time. Thanks girls!

  • Hi Ladies I have a question about this virguy that i've been dealing with I started a thread a while ago called virgo man won't forgive Libra woman, well we actually got passed that. the last thing I added was this update

    Well the last time we spoke was Dec 21....I really just got tired of his back and forth and asked him striaght up what the deal was are you doing this or are you not because this "situation" doesn't benefit me you fly in whenever it suits you and I might as well fine someone new because this is stupid thats what i told him either you are gonna make time for me or not I said tell me right now the buck stops here....he says I don't have a GF and not looking for one and then goes on to say but now I hurt your feelinds and thats not cool...

    Wow at this guy so i say to him what hurts my feelings is the fact that I brought this to you on several occasions that if you are not ok with the way things are now to let me know and I will show myself to the exit (giving him the benefit of the doubt here is his chance to not string me along and be straight up) I said to him I can't be mad about the way you feel but I gave you chances to tell me what you want, I told him that I have feelings for him and that it was obvious that he didn't share those feelings so it would be best to leave it here... I told him that this is no reason to be enemies that if we see each other we could be cordial. he said ok. but I reserve the right to change my mind about speaking to him and I chose not to for awhile

    fast forward a month or so later he text me hey how are you doing....typical. I didn't respond. I don't like to be manipulated and I'm not on his time. I feel some kind of way toward him anyway because towards the end he was blowing me off which was not cool and pissed me off,I miss him but I don't like to be made to look like a fool.

    the first time i seen him in 2 months I went into a venue to cancel a party that I was supposed to host he was there. when i pulled up he was talking to a woman a co-worker of ours(not mine anymore)the convo seemed really intimate. So inside I walked past him to the restroom and walked back out and he didn't say anything to me, but text me an hour later saying I could have spoke. HUH?! If he took the time to text me that what was wrong with his lips!?

    and then I seen him again this sat at a party because he dj's after the party at around 230am he text me saying "hey". it kind of made me mad because he hadn't talked to me in over two months and doesn't know what I have going on to text me that late so I finally text him back and said "hello, and its late I can't talk goodnight."

    so I guess the chase is over for him now that I gave in and text him back, but its not a game for me though. I still do have feelings for him that is why I keep my distance and I also want to show him how I deserve to be treated. I think he just wants to see if he can get me again.

    the virgo I was dealing with our chemistry was great, his ego is crazy though. he's the kind that's caught up in the chase and not worried about the catch, he'll keep trying to talk to me not because he wants to actually speak with me but becuase when/if I speak back it strokes his ego and that's lame.

    he would talk about how he's this and that (being overly confident), sometimes I wanted to ask him do you really believe this about yourself or are you just saying it? but the thing he doesn't understand about me is that I can see right through him, he's so transparent and when he stops talking I can look right into his eyes and see how vulnerable he is. I just let it alone because obviously he needs his faux confidence.

    What do you all think?

    Me: Sun Moon-LIbra, Mercury Venus Mars- Virgo, Rising-Sag

    Him: Sun-Virgo, Moon-Cancer, Mercury-Libra, Venus-Leo, Mars-Sag, Rising-Scorp

  • to add do you think this response"hello, and its late I can't talk goodnight."

    to his "hey" was too blunt, abrassive. ?

  • @ Sweetmadness...what you stated to your V was perfect...only kindness begets kindness...honesty begets honesty...V did not have the courage to behave in an adult way early in your relationship when you asked V to be you must treat V accordingly, and not worry about the outcome of any of your statements to V...

    Also, SweetM, don't you think it is strange that you wd even question whether it was blunt? This is why WE need this thread...Express these crazy emotions here, not with any of the Vs or other men. Relationships shd not be this frustrating unless WE make it so. If WE are not connecting in any sort of way w/V or any other person, then there is not much hope that WE wd suddenly connect in the future. A clear link is missing to a puzzle and WE just need to keep moving forward to find the link that fits our puzzle.

    @ Aquacappy...right on the very aware of your emotions at all times and you will be able to predict the outcome or at least control the outcome...most of the time, if you just breathe correctly (kk33-yoga) you can alleviate most any negative feelings and not get caught up in the game...remember, women are known for being overly dramatic and why most men retreat, give in or avoid altogether...

    What I said in an earlier thread and I think Arieslovee stated too, Vs are much better as friends and their friends are everything to them, probably because they are more service oriented. They thrive on doing things for people. You can ask them to help and they will be the first to help even ahead of their own family. I know this to be true, cuz I have had enough Vs in my life to speak to this.

    Each one of the Vs I know have always been too busy with others, their business, work or their own personal activities and have never put a relationship first (Lance Armstrong)... This also may be the reason Vs end up cheating. After marriage the wife realizes V is way too busy and the relationship dynamics change. No one whether married or single wants to be alone in a relationship. Is this bad, not if you know ahead of time that this is how it is going to be, not at all. As an Aries, I am kind of way too independent myself, so I can relate, somewhat. The only strange behavior I noticed w/Vs was "disappearing/reappearing" and "grudges" and why I checked this thread out. Again, this is only my observation and first-hand experience.

    IMHO, I am believing it may not just be Vs, a great deal of people are acting very strange in relationships these days due to the Internet and the social media connection, just watch the news....but anyway, Charlie Sheen (September 3, 1965) makes for a very good example of a Virgo...sorry just had to say that, cuz it truly is very, very sad indeed....

    Hope everyone is doing great these days and like Jenever stated earlier, I hope the girls who have not been on the thread lately are doing great....♥♥♥

  • Sweetmaddness

    Him: Sun-Virgo, Moon-Cancer, Venus-Leo, Rising-Scorpio

    He being a Virgo he is drawn to order, neatness, and intelligence. W/ his moon in Cancer, he has a rather dark, moody, secretive side to him, (loves intrigue) Venus in Leo, be prepared to dull out the applause and praises for his athleticism in the sack. That giant, roaring sexual ego needs to be fed and regularly. Scorpio Rising...again there is a tremendous secretive/abracadabra here-one-minute-gone-the-next type. (loves a mystery and to be a mystery) So what to do what to do. With his Sun being in Virgo, his Rising in Scorpio, and his Moon in Cancer I highly recommend appealing to his, or these types through intellect. A late night message (simple in context) but provoking will get you noticed and remembered. Don't ask a lot of personal questions in one setting. This will loan him that air of mystery and the emotional playroom he needs. It is definitely about the thrill of the chase. And when he has his catch in hand ideally it should be one that holds some mystery and challenges their intellect for some time. In their eyes the CATCH becomes a PRIZE. This one time romantic interest of yours would make a great CIA OPERATIVE. 🙂

  • Hello ladies,

    I am here, everyday...

    It's been hard for my daughter and myself these 2 months... And at the end of it, we catch a flu, this new one. We are still recovering...

    Briefly, my brother don't want to talk to me, some of my cousins (very close) too... Here, we are living in the middle age, where divorced woman is "persona non grata"... My ex husband, although good to me, told everyone that I cheated, so some people turn a head when they see me. I am not ashamed, I was aware of that when I entered into a relationship with V. My ex see now what are the consequences of his words, and he is very sorry, but, he was hurt and I am the one who cheated.

    And what to say about V.? He avoided me a couple of weeks. After, he started to look into my window when he passes by. A couple of days ago, I was returning from the pharmacy and noticed his car. He followed me and he enter in the same store I have entered. So, he told me Hi! How are you? I was not mad or angry, just said to him I'm ok. He said that he's good, talked about his children, asked about my daughter and gone... Like old friends! I was completely desperate that day. And he is calm now, he only wanted to see that I'm ok. He avoids me again.

    As you guess, I still have feelings for him. I dream of him every night. Sometimes I can't find him in my dreams, sometimes he finds me and hug me or kiss me. I dream of our baby we could have...

    But I don't want to be with him anymore. He has a nice and happy family and I really never wanted to ruin that. I ruined my family and I am responsible for that. I don't want to be responsible for ruing another family. I don't want to hurt anybody anymore because I fell in love. I am crying every night, I love him, I hate him, I blame him, I blame myself. He hurt me. He was rude. But, I keep asking myself, what would happen if he didn't cut his feelings? If he wasn't so rational? Could the two of us be happy looking into mess we made? My marriage wasn't good one and I didn't love my husband anymore, but, as he said, he loves his wife and that is the marriage that should be saved. So, it's better that he hurt me instead of his family.

    After all, I just want from him not to deny the love that existed between us. I just want to know that he will not forget me, that I was important in one moment of his life. I think he hates me now, a person who almost ruin his fortress. I hope that he will understand me one day and that he will forget me and that he will forget to himself. I am sorry that we couldn't be friends....I don't want to beg for love and friendship anymore.

    Btw, we are soul-mates in our synastry charts. Obviously, only there...

    Funny that now only married one males offered me a shoulder to cry on... No, thanks! Just stay home with your wives ... I saw how brave you are...

    I read new stories here. Is there any happy ending with Virgo man?

    Jenever, how are you? Any news?

  • I wanted to say that I hope he will forgive me, not forget!!!! Sorry

  • Ahhh leogemini, again you are remarkable. Clearly V loved you because V risked the affair right in front of his wife and family, then V panicked and did not know how to behave. I truly wish you and your daughter a very happy and healthy life. Please DO NOT be so hard on yourself...WE are all human and just want to be loved and sometimes just make poor choices. Hugs ♥♥♥

  • Leogemini - So great to hear from you. I agree with AriesBB (as usual, lol) you must quit being so hard on yourself. You act like your V has some perfect little life going on there and you nearly messed it up. That's garbage. He is the same coward that he was the day you got involved with him and it will come back and bite him one of these days. By then, hopefully, you will be busy living the kind of life you really dream of. "Yes", I agree, it would be helpful if he were to admit that he had feelings for you. At least you would have your dignity. But at the same time, why should he be left with dignity at your expense. So please work on shaking off that feeling that somehow he has more of a right to be happy and protected from harm in all of this. There is no truth in that whatsoever. He should have left you alone in the first place. To be honest, I'm not the least bit convinced that your V or my V won't seek out new relationships. I think they just want to be sure that if there's going to be an end to their marriages that they are in control of it. I think that whatever enticed them out of their marriages will lure them away again. I hope next time they both get caught, lol.

    I'm doing pretty good. I keep dragging myself away from thoughts about V as best I can. I had a little incentive Sunday when a guy I knew growing up contacted me on facebook. Not just any guy, it was my first "crush" in 5th grade. I know that might sound funny, but even at that age I thought this man was perfection. I think he set an impossible standard for any guy I ever knew after that. Even at the age of 11 he was a gifted artist, incredibly nice, sensitive, and that was enough to make him gorgeous to me. I was always convinced that I could never have a guy like that. So I never really got to know him beyond 5th grade, never had a class together or even saw him around much. But my brother was mutual friends with some of his close friends. Which apparently is what led him to contact me. He was out kayaking with oneof those mutual friends and the topic was apparently "divorce" - my brother having gotten divorced a couple years before me. Next they were talking about me getting divorced. Somewhere in that, despite the fact that I haven't spoken to this guy since we were standing in the lunch-line at elementary school, he was inspired to contact me. He has not outright said that he is getting divorced, all he has said so far is that he is at a place of questioning his life, he is short on optimism, and he needs encouragement right now.

    Well....I guess I just never cease to be amazed at the sort of stuff Fate tosses in my lap these days. Never, I mean never, in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd talk to this guy again and yet here he drops into my life looking to me for encouragement. Encouragement to do what, I am not sure at this point. But, I will tell you, because of the high regard that I always had for him it makes me feel good to think that he would think I had something that he doesn't have. And I don't mean that in a selfish way, it's just that he's the last person in the world I could ever imagine having any problem. He was perfect, his life played out in perfection, he's successful, and appears to have a lovely family and yet there is a thorn in this rose somewhere. It seems that even a painter as gifted as he, cannot paint a picture-perfect life. So, just this simple contact has impacted my perspective in a big way right now. It's also been a distraction from thoughts about V, so I consider that quite a gift, lol!

    I will let you know what comes of this. Btw, he's still pretty hot, lol. I could rekindle that crush pretty quick I think if the right opportunity presented itself. Fortunately he's "back home" which is 500 miles away so that should help me keep my fantasies in check while I figure out what this is all about. If I can't then you gals can help me out, lol. There's some red flags here, and I am paying attention. Lest we forget about my old highschool sweetheart, Scorp guy who showed up a year ago. My lesson is to beware men who come round knocking on your door after 30 years. This one is a Sag, so more reason to be wary.... That's reason enough for him to just pop on the scene and vanish just as quickly. Sag men have very short attention spans from my experience.

  • Great to hear about your old crush Jen, but isn't the fact that this guy is still married a major red flag??? Just saying...

  • Thank you ladies, as always...

    It's better for me to think that he is happy now with his family than that he will chase another woman...That makes me mad... and sad...

    I can't imagine falling in love again. That is soooo far from me. This V. is the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He really is. But, time will tell...

    Jenever, look at this Sag man like "a distraction from thoughts about V" - as you said. Don't hook, he is still married and you will be in that magic circle again...

    I wanted to ask you, I read that you can do a Tarot reading. Can you do that for me if you have the time? Thank you...


  • LOL, AriesBB - Most definitely a major red flag. Just look at this picture - he is going through some nebulous personal crisis here, he needs "encouragement". Why isn't he getting that from his wife? What inspires a man to reach out to someone who is a virtual stranger really, to help solve his life problems? Well, go back to my first post and read through the the entire thread and there is an answer in their somewhere. It is that he is consumed with HIS needs at this particular moment and thinking very little about who he pulls in to solve that.

    I had sent him an e-mail a couple of days ago, sharing some "encouragement", pointing out that he has so much going for him. Indeed he agreed in his reply yesterday, "I have a good life and I'm blessed with two beautiful daughters". Okay, one thing with us Cancers that is both a blessing and a curse, is that we are honed in just as much on what is NOT said, as what is said. Do you see what was not said? Any mention of his partner. She didn't rate getting included on his list of "good things"

    So, what I'm sensing bottom line is this - I have a man on my hands here who is not getting his emotional needs met by his wife or he would not have contacted me. I am 100% sure of this. And I don't want to make him out to be a bad guy or to imply that this is s*e_x ual. In fact he may love his wife very much and maybe there is just something here that he wants to keep her out of. An insecurity in him at this time that he doesn't want her to see maybe? Because I am just as much 100% sure that he is not a bad man. I know what kind of family he was raised in, know the kind of people he calls "friends". He has mutual friends tied to my brother, so there is very little that I probably couldn't find out about him if I wanted to. In fact, he takes some risk "chatting" with me given that while I am not "back home", he is hitting very close to home.

    Anyway, it will come out in time. I take Sags with a grain of salt. They are flighty in my opinion, and very bold and wreckless. By next week this could all be history, lol.

    But you know what the real kicker is? How many people are on this earth? Something like 5 billion. I feel like I have worked so hard on myself to come out of this thing with V, and come out of the past, and leave myself open to just allowing life to be unexpected and let new things come in. Operative word here NEW things. And then, out of all those billions of possibilities, who shows up but a man from the past that intrigues me in ways no one I've ever known could. Dang, I'm getting tired of my life lessons showing up like this. Meeting someone new would come with it's own challenges, but these men from the past test me in ways that are downright painful. Maybe it's like my old bf Scorpguy, maybe there's something here that is blocking me and there's a point in this Sag finding me. I have always had this man on a pedestal, no question about that. Yeesh, it just has "trouble" written all over it, doesn't it? Trouble for ME, lol.

    Anyway, your point it correct and totally well-taken. I proceed with caution here.

  • Leogemini - I have pulled some cards for you. I cut the deck and that gives me what I call the "shadow card" at the bottom of the deck. Then I pulled three cards one for past, present and future. The shadow card is the general "climate" that exists over the rest of the cards. Mind you life is always changing and you know very well that you can change it through free will, so this is more of a snapshot of the current trend of your life.

    The past is the High Priestess. She is about our inner mystery. Our intuition and seeking inner wisdom. She is about feelings and not logic. She communicates in dreams and in the unknown. This is what is known as a major arcana card so the implication is that this is a necessary part of your journey. The lesser arcana cards are changeable, and have less of an impact. This card means that the inner journey you've been experiencing in the time we've known you was a necessary and unavoidable aspect of your life at this time. This might also explain your presence on this thread. This is a time when you would be drawn to mysticism and the more spiritual aspects of existence. Seeking answers about yourself.. It's all about your inner clarity and finding your own answers.

    Now the next card is the nine of swords. Not a happy card I'm sorry to tell you. But it is correct for you at this time probably. A woman in bed holds her hands over her eyes as if awaking from a nightmare, or perhaps so burdened with worrisome thoughts that she can not sleep. It's a card about anxiety, obsession, depression. A troubled mind in some form. The message is to face what is troubling you. Seek out friends to support and help you, or even seek out professional counseling if a negative state of your mind is overwhelming you. The swords represent the mind and intellect. On that note, try to find things that help you feel more relaxed, perhaps music, excercise, any sort of creative activity that you enjoy, or simply friends that make you feel loved. When you are not getting good sleep everything is made worse, so as simple as it may sound, try to get your rest.

    Now the path forward is the six of swords (remember swords are about the mind, ideas, communication, and truth as the sword cuts away what is necessary to expose truth). A man is taking a woman and a child across a body of water in a small boat. On one side of the boat the water is choppy, on the other it is calm. We see them journeying to a distant shore in the background. The six swords are in the boat as well. This card is very much about going through an experience to find a new place. It can represent a time of healing. You take the swords with you on your journey to your new place, but you are leaving something behind as well. The struggles will be left behind. You are balancing the rough waters and the smooth waters and when you get to the far shore things will be better and you will feel renewed. It can also literally represent travel or a move to a new place. I usually see it as an emotional journey, but it can mean moving just as well.

    The shadow card is the Wheel of Fortune. The card of Fate. There is nothing much you can do about this phase of your life other than to try to accept that life has it's ups and downs. One day things are good and we are on top of the world, but then the wheel keeps turning and the next thing you know you are on the bottom. The message is to enjoy life when it is good, because just as surely the day will come again when things are not so good. Round and round the wheel goes. The strength this card offers you is to try to understand that life is about change and stay in the center of the wheel. Stay at your center so that you can better manage changes that will constantly go on around you through your whole life. Try not to be overly affected by the things outside of your control, trust your center and life will go more smoothly. Now this is also a card about taking chances. Knowing that even if you sit still, sooner or later life is going to change things on you, well, why don't you take a chance on changing life instead! Take some risks. This card offers you luck in whatever you might choose to pursue and suggests that some fortunate surprises or opportunities may be in store for you.

    Looking at all of your cards then I would say that you have gained some important inner wisdom from the past. Wisdom that you were seeking whether you realized it or not. It was an inner drive to find it. Use that wisdom now to stay centered within your current challenges and despite all that is going around and around in your mind, please stay aware. There is a good chance there are opportunities out there that you might overlook if you let this current state of affairs distract you and hold your mind down. You are in the boat and moving towards a new shore. Pay attention along the way, don't let life just carry you along in the boat. You have options but you must stay aware and stay optimistic so that you recognize them.

    Thank you for letting me read your cards leogemini. There are ways to get more detail, but I think that when life is in a great shift, this reading holds the most meaning. When lots of things are changing rapidly, more detailed readings don't hold meaning for long and it diminishes the significance of the messages. I've actually been getting that six of swords a lot myself lately. I keep asking "am I there yet, am I through with all this challenge and ready to step out on the other side", and the six of swords tells me, "not quite there yet, but still moving towards it". So this is a good thing. 🙂

  • Thank you so much Jenever. That card - nine of swards, worries me. I must confront and face with everything that troubling me right now... It's a journey I must take to be on the new shore... Thank you again Jenever, if you have any dream that I can interpretate, say it 🙂


  • Leogemini - Lol, the card is supposed to increase your awareness about your worrying, not to make you worry more. Think of the worry like an object that you must manage for now. It exists and must be dealt with, but give yourself permission to ignore it and allow yourself to rest from it. We all have our share of worries, but if you just ignore them for some space they will still be waiting for you to return. Or maybe they will go away as you turn your mind to other things. As silly as it sounds, I find it really does help me to say to myself, "you have permission to ignore this (whatever is troubling me) and just let the rest of the universe take care of itself for a while, just take care of you and your little piece of it all". Sometimes the worry is my piece, but that's the time to think of a course of action and that usually settles the worry since making a plan gives you a sense of taking positive action.

    Thanks for the offer to interpret my dreams, you are so good at that. I know that I dream all the time, but I swear that I can't remember them more than two seconds after I wake up. It's so frustrating. I don't know why they disappear like that. Any tips on how to hold them in my consciousness long enough to write them down or something? It's like my own mind shuts me out of my subconscious world. Very unfair!

  • It's unfair, but it's true... When we can't remember what we have dreamed, it's a sign that we can't face with the message of the dream. We are not ready yet.

    I have a notebook and pencil by my bed, so I could write what I have dreamed before I forget.... You can try too. It's a diary of dreams. You can see how dream can tell you a lot and you can learn a lot about yourself...

  • Oh no! There must not be much of anything that I can face if that's true. Haha. I'll try keeping a notebook nearby before I'll admit to that one. 🙂

  • I tried keeping a dream diary haha, but it never worked for me. I would be too tired to jot down anything or I would forget half the dream by the time my eyes are adjusted to the light. good luck though!

    Even though I claimed to be over my Virgo, there is still a small flame in my heart that is burning for him. My pride and ego tells me I am over him, but my mind cannot lie to my heart. I still love that idiot. The new Virgo is NOTHING compared to my old Virgo. He cannot hold a candle to my ex, so I decided to just stay friends with him. I still feel as if I am living a half life though. Or maybe I just have crazy mood swings and now I'm at an all time low. Hahaha.

    My friends and I were discussing about the recent Japan earthquake. God bless those people, my heart aches for them and I hope they will recover. We somehow strayed onto the topic of who would be on our mind when we were about to die. I thought about it and of course my family would be the first, and coming second would be my ex Virgo. That's when I knew I couldn't lie to myself or other people what I still felt for him. I am not crazy about him anymore, but he is still in my head. Even if he asked me to be with him, I would still refuse. I rather miss him than to be hurt again.

    Who would you think of when death is right in front of you?

  • Arieslovee, that's an interesting question. I would think of my children, my mother who I am still blessed to have in my life, and, like you, with that last breath, I'd probably think about that darned Virgo.

Log in to reply