Captain can you plzzz help me...??



  • Dear Captian,

    Can i get a compatibility reading for me n my partner please....

    Myself, P(22-06-1986) and he is M(30-05-1984).

    Please tell are there any chance s of me getting married to him in a long run....and what about our professsional lifes....please put some light.

    Thanks and regards,

    Prachi....



  • This matchup can work well for marriage - if it gets that far. It is a fascinating relationship that may feature participation in large-scale projects and a striving for monumental goals, though not always realistic ones. You two attend to the world at large, and all that represents it - books, philosophies, political movements, theatre. You may sometimes need to take an adversarial stance toward each other, for through conflict you can achieve results beyond the grasp of either of you alone. There are acute temperamental differences here between your partner's impatient, excitable energies and your more sophisticated and refined approach.

    Although your partner may seem to be the more aggressive, you Prachi are often more so, if subtly. You take this stance simply to get something other than cool rationality from your partner. In a love affair, such conflicts may lead to pleasurable resolutions, but your partner will ultimately tire of the mental energies required to maintain the relationship. Only after the affair has ended, will you Prachi fully appreciate your ex-lover's electric energies.

    In a marriage (if you can manage to get your partner to commit longterm, something quite difficult to do) - you can offer him a peaceful home life. However he will probably upset this domestic tranquillity in return. But he can also bring a worldly benefit to the marriage, particularly in terms of social contacts, an eye for bargains, and handy shortcuts in official matters. His roving eye may prove a problem, but you may be sufficiently enchanted with this witty, interesting person to keep the relationship going, demonstrating a romanticism, devotion, and refined emotional nature that may hold your partner's attention longer than usual.

    He will insist however on stubbornly doing everything his own way. Before he matures enough to take responsibility for himself, his relationships are likely to be contentitious or abrasive until he realizes that others are not the problem. He has a need for warmth and affection but he also needs to be free - he may have trouble accepting love, since he is suspicious that it may be a veiled form of subjugation. Thus it will be very difficullt for anyone to pin this guy down to a commitment, although it would ultimately provide him with true happiness and stability in the long run. He can be a very fickle seductive heartbreaker and gets too quickly involved with people - then dumps them when he gets bored or finds out they were unlike the person he hoped they would be.

    So tread carefully here or you may end up with your heart broken...



  • Hey Captain,

    Thanx a lot for a reply...:)

    I am writing my whole story.....please take out sumtym to read...i know its very long....but after knowing all this...u willl understand... why i want this insight sooo desperately from you.....

    i was sooo much confused about himM(30-may-1984)....i also think the same for him as you told......i love him a lot captain, but may be i am thinking too much of it that he will ditch me some day....may be i am acting too possessive about him.

    Actually captain i had a really very bad break-up in d past wid a guy with whom i shared a very gud relationship for past 5 yrs. he was also very nice to me and always said to me that he wants to marry me...but after such a long relation, he broke up with me{altough i was soo confident that he will marry me...:( ], and chose a girl found by his parents...leaving me behind crying.he was M(15-sept-1982). But he ditched me....After that i met this guy, actually he was wid me in my college and he proposed me once in my college tym...but i told him that i m in a relationship....at first he cried a lot....but dint utter a word to me....i also liked him a lot...but though i was committed...i told him that i cant be in a relationship wid you.....he was soo upset...then he went to a wrong path....he was very much addicted to drinks and cigrette...he made many girlfriends...had many affairs....became a too bad guy....

    But alwayz maintain a touch wid me.....and wen i had this break-up wid the 1st guy....after that, one day he called me....and at that period of tym i was gone in a very depressed mode...and with my voice only he understood that something wrong has happened..he asked me...i couldn't hold my tears and told him everything on phone.....another day..he called me again and....proposed me....but i refused...after that..he talked with me everyday...he told that i will not let you be alone anymore....and after 2 months i said yes to him.....:D..

    After that he told about him every thing...i.e. what all bad things he has done in his life.....

    I am soo happy being wid him......though we are in a long distance relationship.....he alwayz be wid me through phone...and tries to meet me at least once in every 2 months....These all things of him touches me a lot....:)....

    And now he became a very gud guy...he changed a lot.....he had left drinking, and for smoking also he has committed, will leave by this august..and as said by him....he dont hav any more affairs wid any other girl.....i think he is not at all lying to me...

    But i am alwayz in a scared mode....As i had already gone through a bad relation in my past....:(

    Captain plzzz tell me...he wil be with me alwayz....as he committed to me.?....or ..he will also leave me as d previous person..?

    Captain....waiting for ur reply....Plzzzz help me....

    Hope this one is not too long or boring to you....:)

    With Thanx and Regards,

    Prachi...:)



  • As I said above, I don't feel you two are being very unrealistic or practical and that if you marry, harsh reality is likely to end the relationship. You both need to get to know each other better and to grow up some more before making such a big commitment. You both have a romantic dream of what marriage is, but not much truth of it.



  • Ok Captain...i understood this very well....but tell me.. how much time more should i give to this relationship..??

    I know he is soo irrresponsible in his acts that challenges my patience many times....but i dont think this nature of him will change in this whole life...So, what should i do to make him more serious towards his committments to work, life and me..??...Is time the only solution..?..Nothing much can be done..?



  • There is nothing you can do to change anyone else - you can only change yourself. Your partner has to WANT to change and at the moment I don't feel that he thinks he needs to change. It may indeed be a long time before he gains more awareness of himself and wants to change. Your choices are to get on with your life and find someone else or hang around waiting for perhaps years for this guy to grow up.



  • ok Captain...Thanx for ur reading...

    Can u please do a reading about me, P(22-June-1986)....how is my life.., career, marraige, etc..??...

    Any further predictions...good and bad..for me..??

    very much confused about my future...:(



  • I don't do predictions anymore as they can change as you change. But I can help you deal with any current issues that may be holding you back from love and success. If you want...



  • Hii Captain,

    Can you tell me ...if we both overcome our all difficulties, as explained by you in above threads, and become that much mature to get married in a long run....what do u think are our chances to get married...?...I m asking this because i dont want to get married untill my parents agree for this marraige...we need a full support from our families...before we get married....

    So, do you think that our parents will say yes to both of us to get married..??



  • The parents may say "yes'', although I think his family knows that their son doesn't want to get married or commit to anyone at the moment and they may opt not to give their consent. Besides, marriage at this point in time would be a disaster as there are many problems to work out between you. Basically this guy wants to see more of life before he settles down - and so should you.



  • Hmm....I understand Captain...Thanx a lot for ur readings for me...:)

    I hope evrything gets right on place at d end...wen we would be mature enough to get married....or even think about it !!!

    Regards,

    Prachi



  • Maybe you might like to ask yourself why you would like to get married?



  • and also why you get scared ofhim leaving or having affairs when its obvious he doesnt, also ask yourself why you dont trust him? especially when he is doing everything he can to change and do the 'right' thing. Maybe you have a picture of him thats in your head that isnt right? Have you questioned the picture of him in your head? Have you really gotten to know this person you claim you want to 'marry'. Perhaps its not only you that has had an awful past relationship that is hard to get over, could it be possible that he has had not one but several maybe even more relationships that havent worked out or have turned horrible for him? Have you asked him about how he has gotten over his past relationships so that you yourself can get closure and heal yourself. Please do this even before considering marriage. Marriage is a big word and it is very serious and not to be taken lightly nor rushed into stupidly, ask yourself first why and what are the reasons you wish to get married? Then ask him if he wants to get married and together sort both your problems out. Is this what he wants as well or is happy to stay as he is? As for irresponsility? Him being irresponsible that can be miscontrued as is most things, everybody has there own way of doing things. Have you ever discussed this with him and had a one on one talk together? Have you asked yourself the things you wish to ask him or do you expect him to know exactly what your on about? Remember marriage isnt everything, you must be at peace with yourself before even considering getting with anyone else and that takes time as does all things. Both people must be at peace within themselves before even considering a relationship together. It seems you arent at peace if your still being scared this is something I would to help you with and offer some comfort in that I am sure he is doing what he can and that he loves you more than you will ever know and hopes that one day he can make you realise this and so you dont have to be or feel scared but feel secure about him and about what he does even though to you it may seem irresponsible. Know that no matter what he loves you and nothing will ever change that!



  • Hii Crazycap,

    Thanx for your involvement and giving time on this thread....its really what i wanted to hear from someone....Thanx for being that person.....

    I would love to discuss and answer all your questions u asked in your above thread....

    Firstly, as u asked me....crazycap, i would like to marry him because he is the one with whom i hav experienced my life's most happiest moments...becoz he seems to be jst like me...we were the best frndz ever.....and this relation is since the time i was having affair(as u must hav read in above threads)...i would confess here that i love his presence since then....

    And yes, you are right....i had a real bad relationship...and he has also suffered a lot in his past....and i know may be i hav yet not overcome that bad relation's fears.....so, i always challenge his love for me....and therefore, i m scared too....i know...at many times i start judging him and think that will he be loyal to mee for the rest of my life ??....as my last relation always occupies my mind and i always become somewhat protective for my own feelings....becoz may be i dont wanna get hurt for d second time....n hence, i want to assure my innerself that he is the correct person and he will never leave me anytime....

    [May be this is becoz (u may already know) my first relation....that guy also promised me many things....made me see many dreams together....but wen the real time came he just ran away...leaving me behind in tears.... ]

    Yes...he had changed a lot....because he wanted to change....i had not forced him...but he always tells me that..." these all changes are because of you.....and i never want to live without you and i want to marry you and i also know that you will not believe me untill i get married to you"....we have discussed all this so many times but may be i am much more scared to accept yet....becuase these all statements were given by that guy also...but he left....:(

    You know may be it will sound somewhat immature but i m telling you...last night only he told me that......."..its my love's defeat if i am not able to make you overcome your past..........i will marry you or else to no one....and please try to believe me...i dont know..may be you dont trust me becoz of my past sins and my image is not gud in your mind...but i know you will trust me as soon as i will marry you...this is my committment to you....and now please stop being upset..i dont like you this way...plzzz be the same as u were.......and let me do something for securing our future.."....and today as i read your post....these both things are soo similar....really thanx Crazycap.....:)

    I know Crazycap...Marraige is a big word...and may be i am the one not ready for this.....because..may be i am only at the faulty side.....but i dont know...why all this happens to me...i am not getting any answers....may be i am thinking too much...i dont know...these kind of emotional attacks comes in my mind and i become sooo scared....that i even start crying... relating him with my whole past...thinkng of him as he was in his past...etc..etc....

    You only tell me....how i can know...what i really want..??..whats going on inside me.???..how to know all this.???..please help me in this regard.....

    With Thanx & Regards,

    Prachi...



  • One more thing Crazycap....its really important for me to know whether our families will accept this relation or not....?? Can u help me on this also please....???



  • One question, Have you been and are you and will you always be faithful to him?



  • Of Course Crazycap, i have always been, i am, and i will always be faithful to him.....i dont understand about why u asked me this..??...if anything comes in my mind.....he is the first one i approach to.....



  • But crazycap, I think that i dont trust him...at times where i should...and about that only i want to know from you...that..me not trusting him in some issues is just my possessiveness for him,...or i do it intutively and he is in real not faithful to me...or it is some wiring problem in my mind....??

    Plzzz help...



  • So after your breakup with your ex you met this guy?

    What does faithful mean to you?



  • If you think you dont trust him in some issues then why are you with him?

    So are you saying mistrust causes possesiveness in you or are you just that way?

    Have you healed from your past relationship?

    Why do you get possessive?


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