Why Am I Taking it So Hard?



  • Hi,

    I (2/9/84) was dating a guy for about month named Richard (2/6/82). I really liked him but he started saying he loved me and spoke of us being together after only knowing me for about a month. I felt there was no way it was sincere just yet so I told him "I think we need to put the brakes on things with us". I meant slow down, he assumed I meant we should end it. He said I played with his heart and to never to contact him again. Why is so hard for me to get over this since I havent been with him for very long anyway? I think about him all day and try to keep busy for that reason and I really miss him. I was told it was over between us and dont expect to hear from him again and to just move on. Why am I having such a hard time with it? Is it possible that I loved him too?



  • Hi Leah, The only wisdom i can offer is my own....my husband proposed after only a few days of meeting. I knew when I met him he had a heart of gold, and I wanted to marry a man with his qualities, so I said yes...but I need 6 mnths to a year to get to really know each other. I dont regret it a bit. We've been together 5 years now.

    If you know his address, write a letter and explain why you said what you did...that you want to be careful and not jump in too soon and get hurt. He is going to understand exactly what you are saying.

    Best wishes to you Leah.



  • Thanks Patchlove. That's a wonderful way for things to turn out. I think for me its too late. He wont respond to text, so I stopped sending them at his request. I did explain everything you suggested and I hoped that he would understand but he just didnt and I havent heard from him since Sunday when he told me not to contact him anymore. I'm more crushed than I ever expected to be.

    Thanks again for the kind words.



  • hey leahmya my advice would be to move on... you can't stop thinking of him because you feel bad about the way things ended (especially since it feels like your fault). Trust me there are plenty of other fish in the sea and once you find one this old flame will pass by.. I'm sure it seems hard now but i bet you've had plenty of other partners that you loved dearly or that first kiss that you maybe thought would be with you forever.. Go beyond your boundaries... Don't think the sky is the limit because there are footprints on the moon.. My best wishes *Nita



  • I agree 100% with shenita... a broken heart is what it is...it will mend again! Had he been the right guy for you, he would've given you a second chance, real love is unconditional! good luck with your heart 🙂



  • Thanks Shenita and Scorpwolf



  • Leahmya,

    Accept your mistake. Wait another week. And if there's no activity, move on but keep one eye open in his direction. Rejection is pretty tough for any man to hear especially when he's not expecting it. He would go away to heal. But if he really loves you he'll bounce back. Its he turn to call. So, do nothing but start doing your favorite things. Good luck. I know longing heart.



  • Thanks Tellstar,

    A part of me still feels he wasnt entirely being sincere by telling me he was in love with me. I'm trying to accept my mistake but I kinda feel like I didnt do anything wrong by telling him to slow down and allow me to see his "love" for myself. And even after he took my words the wrong way, the fact that I explained several times that I still want to be with him and that I have feelings for him, he still cut me out of his life completely. I have even allowed a few days to go by and then texted him that I missed him and I would really like to see if we could have a future, he wont respond to me AT ALL. I'm crushed but I think its really over and I may never know the real reason. 😞



  • Hi Leah,

    Im sorry I havent been back here sooner. I thought about my response to your situation...and then I thought about what would have happened had I said I wanted to slow down in my situation. I believe my husband would have honored my wishes, backed off...but not given up. He certainly wouldnt have said.."Don't contact me".

    You were made to feel badly, and punished on top of it with the order not to contact him. I think it shows what stage of development of he is in, one who can only think of himself and his needs without considering the feelings of another.

    You did nothing wrong. It is over because the other person wasnt mature enough to think about or understand what your needs may have been.

    Please dont hold this as your responsibility. It has been a painful experience...but there is no fault here.

    Love and Blessings to you,

    PL



  • Sounds like you are in love with him and that is the truth of the matter. You may not have realized it then but you realize it now. Just because he let you know how he felt about you in a time frame you didn't expect doesn't mean that he wasn't sincere. There are people in our life that we come across and love for them is built over a course of time but there is is a type of love that comes upon us that's as fast as lightning and it's not something that comes too often. If he loves you the way he say he does then there is nothing that can break you 2 apart. You'll get him back. Just tell how you feel.



  • Thanks Khanstileon,

    I think you're right. I do wish I could have him back. He knows how I feel because I tried to text him a few days after the official break up to see if he would be open to talking in hopes of fixing things between us. He was mostly unresponsive so I let it be.

    I kinda feel like he's treating me like I slept with his best friend or something. I simply told him we need to put the breaks on things and take it a little slower so he can make sure his feelings for me are actually what he thinks they are....and just like that he said I'm playing with his feelings and never to contact him again.



  • He will be back in your life just have faith. If he cares for you like he say there is nothing that's going to stop him from coming back.



  • Thanks Khanstileon,

    Thats why I am beginning to think that maybe he wasnt being sincere.



  • You know that saying...if you let him go and he comes back to you...he was always yours?! well, as I said before, take care of you., your heart, your emotions about this guy and move on baby! He didn't understand your words and took it in a different concept then what you meant...ok look at it this way... how many times would you have to clarify your words for him if he were with you? Headache right? well...someone deserves your love and will find you someday. Don't give up on love cause most of the time it's all around us and sometimes right before us, we see what we want to sometimes. Give your heart a chance to love yourself to the very best that you can and that alone will attract a special someone!