I feel sooo lost



  • I don't know what to do. I feel like I may be going through some type of depression and may not be aware of how serious it is. I've gained sooo much weight in the past few months. Of course this makes me feel really unattractive so I don't go out. Which makes me feel even more lonely. My job is starting to feel like it's time for me to move on. I'm sick of living in his city. My love life is non-existent. The only guys I seem to communicate with usually only wants sex. I know deep down I want more but at this point in my life I don't feel worthy of it. I don't know what is wrong with me.

    Does anyone see things getting better for me? What is my issue?

    May 2, 1982

    Miami, FL

    10:11am



  • Hallo Mitzgator,

    here is a call out all the way from Europe .... YOU are BEAUTIFUL just as YOU are..... boys will be boys so don't worry about them....... weight ... really darlin' what is weight ..... ?????

    YOU are beautiful ... please do not believe you are going through a depression ... as I feel it you are going through a Transition and those darling' happen ALL through out our lives..... if you want the skinny of it "I am a skinny little Biatch and I do not go out because ..... time .... somehow I feel I need to work on myself rather than making myself "presentable" for others....!!!! I understand the lonely part you are referring to .... but here is what I have learned .... move to another city, state or country and that "lonely thing" just sticks to you like gum under a shoe. Don't feel lonely .... I am here and so are many Spirits on this site 🐵

    It feels like things are all just moving around you, job ... city ... people ... but just work ONE at the time ...... like I said .... I was ready to drop ALL and move to Dubai to get away ..... but I learned that "our crap really just follows us around" until we deal aka make peace with it.

    Follow your instinct and I understand that it is lonely but from one female to another how lonely is it really for US after "that rump and then they leave" ~ quick fixes YEAH and yes they can be so exiting BUT hence the words "QUICK FIXES".

    You are so worthy ...... never mirror your worthyness on someone else ...... follow your instinct... follow your heart ..... is it easy NO I will not lie to you BUT within time you will see and feel REALLY FEEL that you are so WORTHY .... because YOU are BEAUTIFUL never having to depend on someone else to validate that BUT because you KNOW it and any one else that tells you so is just putting cream on a beautiful Sundae.

    Do not think you are in a Depression ~ YOU are just in the midst of a Transformation. I am not a doctor nor am I giving any medical advice at this point just sharing Feelings .... and experiences as I feel and maybe can understand or acknowledge where you are..... Bottom Line .... PLEASE believe YOU are NOT alone ~ there are wonderful Spirits at this site here to help you, guide you and advice you ..... have Faith ... Remember WHO you are ..... share, there is no judgement here ..... I know .... I was previlegded to find this site and walk the Path with HELP from others.

    Love and Light,

    ME

    P.S. .... or if you need to let it all out, scream .... or just blow of steam ... I am HERE and I will find you AGAIN ... without Judgment, Anger, Resentment, Hurt or ALL just LOVE just like I have come to understand life and all its circles.



  • You have got to want to make your life better for yourself, not for anyone else. So if you want to lose weight and look more attractive, do it for YOu - and do it now. Just moving more and following a healthy diet is all you need. Then you can go out and meet someone. Look around for a new job if you want one but don't give up your current job until you have secured another position. The more you take care fo yourself and do nice things for yourself, the more self-respect and self-love you will have. And when you love yourself, it's easy for others to love you too.

    You just have to make the effort, no one else can do it for you, and believe me, the rewards will be worth it. Your motivator is to achieve happiness and satisfaction, to bring some passion for someone or something or ANYTHING into your life. Be your own hero!



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  • MysticalEnergy,

    Thank you soo much for your response. This is just really hard for me. I dislike to show my weaknesses. Everyone around me thinks i'm so strong. I feel I have no one to really share my feelings with. I went through a depression when I was in college. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. As they admitted me into a hospital for 3 days for observation. My family and friends had to visit me in that place. And the looks and sadness on their face when they saw me in the mental hospital broke my heart. I vowed never to appear sad or let known how depressed I was feeling. So, now I only cry when no one is around. I never share my loneliness with anyone.

    Whatever this transition is I wish I was aware of what I am supposed to be learning through it. I'm grateful for the people/spirits on this site. I don't feel judged on here. It saddens me that because of my weight gain I refuse to see old friends and family. I don't want them to say "woah, what happened to you??". My cousin died 2 months ago and I refused to fly to my home town for the funeral. Because of fear of the judgement I would receive from my own family. How selfish is that??? Instead of grieving with my family. I stayed in my room 600 miles away and cried for days alone.

    Why do I care so much about what other people think of me? This is the thorn in my flesh. I'm more concerned about others than myself.



  • Hi Captain,

    Thank you as well for your response! I know that you are absolutely right. I need to just get up and get active and eat better. It feels sooooo hard to do that when I use food to fill me up, not only physically but emotionally as well. The more sad I become the more I eat. The more lonely I feel the more I look to food to keep me company. I'm actually naturally an athletic person. I love playing and watching any and all sports. I played college level sports and I actually still played team sports until last year some time. So, it's not something that I dislike doing. It's the motivation that is now lacking. I feel stuck.



  • Captain789,

    I'm not sure what I am looking at. Can you explain what these cards me? Thank you!



  • Mizgator, ignore Captain789 as this is just a spammer who often comes here to try and get people to pay money for a reading. Readings are free on this forum.



  • Mizgator, you can eat as much food as you like - as long as it is healthy food, not junk food. Surely the motivation to make yourself happy is enough to get you moving?



  • Im a friend who feesl your pain screaming out and I deal with weight issues and some laugh in that when I was younger and friends would say u are skinny where is your fat that your hiding and I just rolled my eyes and walked off thinking I was confused or this and even hide alot of my skin, I was a mess,,,, I dont know why she said that because Now at 170 and that is a nice way to,lie..I'll never tell I weigh that plus 10 but I got to 210 at one time and then I got down to 160 and today that is a good place to,,put my weight but I will share why I am happy at this weight, and let it roll but in my way,,until I roll it away and it works,,, just move alot and dont see but a little fall at a time and add goals a little at a time, is that of others or u have started along time ago and sabatosing ones self and it grows and grows and no one is going to get you up like u can and your voice of pain needs to be your voice of gain and let the negative go away and replace it with I ate heathy today, go me and I did 10 situps and 5 push up and time heals all wounds for the most part but you will have to change you thinking of as your bullet and more like your survivol to go and be you and you only but start small and work to big but just be happy and enjoy it and live in the moment, like take a mp3 of your favorite songs and reward your self for your goals,,,the little one too,, and I dont mean get up and see the ugly, see more of your results and just start and that is you and why do you want to move away or who do you not want to see you??? because you have got to pull and tug to mode your goals and then start to love you and you because sometimes in life wanting to get a car or house or be that corporate america workaholic but slow down because you can work so hard to get the big picture you can loose the most important thing you wanted to share or give to your brother of family member when they are found murdered and talk about dark depression and you and your brothersout of the same and we wanted to move where people did not know us but its alot of finding you and loving you and its real hard at times and not just telling yourself a few times can undo all of the things u told urself and we are to hard on our self and trying to get that hollywood image or that 17 year old body back is the wrong thinking and all the complaining we do to our self, its no wonder we are depressed and gaining weight, we loose who we really are in trying to capture something that is gone but is there and has never left you and u have to find ur best friend and that good voice and starting getting the real you out and go to the gym and face your fears but find that firecracker and bring that now right we what people do is eat...t people dont control me know moreor campbellsvile it with the world if i ,well I know the longer u all see each other I do need to loose weight and I have gained alot do do a foot injury and I havent been moving like I want but this was just a few pounds so I cant blame it all on da foot but its not a lie I did gain a few that way..lol but now that I cant get around and walk without crutches or hoping on one foot here and there, where is my kids, they promised do they would help me lay around and feel like what u said in some way but my point is that we cant see to good and how could a girl like me not see I was fit then and it goes back to more issue of childhood and abusive stepfather and I like to binge eat and then yah I went and puked and this to many sounds crazy but it was not the weight doing this to me It was how I saw myself and I didnt see me when I was skinny,,,,lost that huh but I would perge til now and sometimes if I eat too much or have stress I do this but its more about control and not wanting to be out of it anymore and other things can come from abusive childhood but I had a dark thing I had to keep in that my father did but I still had to show the world a smile and we'd go eat and then all the bull crap inside of me had to come out, or I would really feel, sick and like I was blowing up and going to pop and I dont want to know what all damage this has done to me over thr years and I dont mean the weight, I mean my throught, my esphogus or the weight gain, yah because your body will start storing that fat and it will be differen by excessive weight gain, bloating, and my list went on, but now that I am big and somewhat secure more than I was them, I dont desire for ones to see me but after I broke my foot and now I have to lay in the bed until I have turkey day,, I look at what I have took forgranted by not letting go of baggage and its like be gone and it dont come back unless u let it in or if u let a person find they can push u into copying them and they all look much like her,, robots are in but I think the tin man, yah he is doing surgery the 3rd of august but I have to wear my cast another, another 6-8 weeks and I cant swim or ride rides or take a normal bath and I have to hop a lot and my big fear is that I break the other one hoping to bed, but my point is we all change and grow and have been hard on ourself because of what people wish or desire to see as in the world of tv and magazines and model,like, malls hire,t bosses but until ur readay and get up girl u got feet and just move a little each day, today just do 10 sit ups or 5 you set that ont but get worse but my point is I hope that my troubled life and the pressure of these barbie-like girls who I know had their own issue's yet nobody else could hurt them but even nowen at that time,t but Im happy like this now but the girl who weighed 117 had more hidden and baggage but she was not in a good place or her fingers, this is real not funny but if u know anygirls like that gettem help early but Im still bigger but and happy inside that she could not let her friends see so this is when me that girl begin eating alot because I love my food but I was fake to myself and friends and had to wear a skirt to cheer



  • Mizgator, just a practical suggestion - don't buy food that you are addicted to. It's much harder to resist it when it's in your place, within your reach.Go grossery shopping when you are not hungry and buy only healthy food - lots of vegetables, fruits, fish, white meat. Stay clear of cereals, sweets, even potatoes, rice, pasta etc.



  • Your right Captain. I need to get up and move!

    SmileofSunshine, thank you so much for sharing with me your life struggles and your battle with your weight as well! I know exactly what you mean about being smaller and wanting to weight the same thing we weighed at 17. Like you, i feel as though I have more going for me at this age then I did at my smaller weight. So I don't know why all I'm seeing is the weight. It could very well be the images on TV and Magazines that make me feel undesirable. You have great suggestions though. I need to do what I can now and increase as the time goes. 5 sit ups now can become 50 sit ups next month. Thanks again for your great insight. You really made me feel like Im not alone.

    VolplySoply, thanks for your practical knowledge. That makes all the sense in the world! lol. I wish I used it more. However, usually when I go grocery shopping I'm already starving and therefore I tend to by pre-packaged/cooked foods because I want to eat NOW! I need to buy more fruits and veggies and cook more at home. My main problem right now is the sweets and processed foods. I love everything you said I should stay clear of! I just need to consciously make an effort to buy foods that are best for my health. Great suggestions!



  • Blocked creativity or repression of feelings can manifest as excess weight. Do you have a creative hobby you can express yourself through, and are you showing and telling others how you really feel?



  • And NEVER shop when you are hungry. Eat first, or else you will not be able to think straight and will buy too much of the wrong foods. Make a list of healthy items to buy and stick to it.