The heart of a scorpio man



  • Hi sungri

    Dont feel like the lone ranger. My birthday is 11/12/59 and I am still waiting on my match. I am patiently waiting on God.



  • Hi Livingonaprayer

    I can completely understand your frustrations with your Scorp!!! I have always read the posts on here to gain some sort of clarity but never posted my story. I decided finally I needed some insight and help from fellow people going through the same sort of things as myself. I posted my story here today....titled HELP Scorpio man disappearing acts and amputations. Have a look and tell me if we are in a similar boat. It is long and I had to cut out alot of pieces of the maze but I think i touched on the important aspects.



  • @Livinonaprayer~ whats your sign?? just curiouys..I'm a Scorpio and can fill you in...



  • TruePheonix......Maybe you could give me some clarity as well.....I would love to hear from a scorpio and get your opinion.



  • Geminigirlconfused~ whats your issue with a Scorpio?



  • Hi True

    I posted my story yesterday....Scorpio disappearing act and amputations. If you could read it and give me your opinion. We always leave things so unresolved and on one hand I hope he comes back so we can either end it once and for all and work on getting our friendship back and another part of me hopes he doesnt come back again......his sister lives with me though so it makes it difficult. Please read and tell me what u think.. Is this normal behaviour for a Scorp (my story)



  • Gemini~ I did reply to your story..let me know if you have any questions...I'm also a acting/studying psychologist/...



  • Thanks for insight True.....it is difficult indeed, as I know he goes into these dark places whenever he pushes me away. However, I also the good side of him...which, is loving, kind and very gentle. This is the side I get to see whenever he shows back up when I least expect it or believe it to be finally over and have begun to move on. It's almost like he has a sense of radar.....he will allow me to venture so far and then just as I am almost detoxed from him, he shows up again. It's beyond frustrating when his family laughs and says he will be back.....like always. Is totally ignoring him and refusing to make eye contact with him making him angrier with me. In the past if he looked at me I would stare back but not this time. Why is he so vengeful towards me I did nothing to him.....except tell him I was done if he didnt stop speaking to this married woman......At this point I just want to be able to speak to him on a loving level again so we can at least be civil......I know he loves me very deeply......will that love sustain to bring him back to the light again??? He is almost like a Bi-Polar cycling. Is there anything I can do to help him at this point or is it best for me to stay away and let this behaviour resolve itself.



  • @GeminiGirl~ I'm trying to feel him myself.....you're witnessing several dynamics here...you are in love and infatuated....sometimes, this is love...it's not a Disney movie....it's life....when he comes out of those dark places, does he show you something new?? when you say he shows his good side...is it richer each time around? you seem intelligent so I don't think youre a masochist and love pain like some woman who stay in abusive relationships....he is NOT abusive right? lets just get that out of the way.....the vengefulness towards you is the STING of the Scorpio....it's self destruction..it's not against you, it's that instinct against himself...the love he has for you is 4EVER...dont worry about that....I stll FEEL the internsity for my past relationships....the behavior will not just resolve itself...too many forces pulling him in various directions...I made a huge misrake once when married, I did have an affair, sexual and very powerful...I knew I was living in 2 worlds and split right down the middle....It eventually wore me out....I never left my ex wife until much later once the affiar was over...just to add, the affair didn't break the marriage up, my conscious did...the pioint is this...he has a tremendous amount of emotional energy....you're seeing it.....he is experiencing emotions on all levels....Gemini, if you love him, never stay away or push away unless it's OVER....if you do, you will ignite his anger and vengefullness and it will never be the same....it would be like the moon circling around the Sun....it would be at its furthest point...Scorpios dont care, its like'''"go ahead, hurt me and see what happens"....its the sting against himself and everyone else......you dont want him further away from you...other forces will pull him...do you have the love, the strength, the courage to fight for him?....you havent been at war...you dont know the amount of energy a Scorpio has...it is the most intense of all others...we are Kings of intenisty....we live by highs and lows...positive and negative.....intensity is our drug because its truth....we always seek the truth...thats why we soar as eagles.....each time we experience it....he has to see that his experience with this other side is wrong and very negative in his life....you must show him, can you do that? I see him coming back to you, so he can sore again when he is with you......have you slept with him lately? are you haveing any kind of sex with him....never cut off a Scorpio with sex....never use it as a weapon.....sex, the bedroom, the intimacy is the MOST sacred place for a Scorpio because that is where we find the purest form of truth....I can tell a womans truth by her level of intimacy....I stay where the sex is amazing......another reason I left my marriage., the bedroom became a place of guilt....Gemeni, never use ithat against him....unless youre done....that will be your tool to disengage for ever.....just cut off the sex...stop the flow and he will be gone......I would recommend this....have sex with him and blow his mind !!! create the most intense experience....he will stay where the emotion, the truth is the strongest...but remember you need to look at how you have performed in the past and do things differently...woman have it made in this world today...sex is so powerful...and what Scorpios it brings out both the positive and negative side of life..woman are fortunate in a way....what they have is amazingly powerful....you have the very reason to keep him....I have never been with a Gemeni so I dont know your emotional level......he does love you....but be warned...dont get addicted to this negative behavior too long...dont miss out on another man who can really make you happy...dont be afraid of that....since you have experienced the intimate level of a a Scorpio...then, no other will satisfy you other than another Scorpio.....



  • Hey True

    Thank you so much for your deep analyse.....Let me start out by saying.....this relationship was in NO way abusive on any level.....UNTIL he does his push/pull, I love you/I hate you routine. Then, I believe it becomes emotional abuse for me anyways. My Scorp and I are not even speaking right now.....he hates me with a passion, for what I am not even really sure. So no, we have no sexual connection right now. When we did, it was almost like a raping of the soul......we connected on almost a spirtual level. Due to our age gap, I was a bit more expereienced in this arena and kept things from "The Norm" so I don't think he was EVER bored.....lol

    I wish I could have this connection back with him and quite honestly I just wish I could even talk to him but he runs from me usually after being together for approx 4 months. That seems to be a magis # for him. He has admitted to me before that he feels weak around me and that when he runs away he will actually refuse to talk to me face to face.....he says, he doesn't know what it is about me that draws him in but it does and he needs to be strong before facing me. I don't quite get this.....I am just me!! Perhaps its because I have admitted to him before that I can read his mind, and I will actually finish his sentences for him.....lol Perhaps that freaks him out. I just feel very in tune to his vibes. I am not a typical airy Gemini, yes I can be but usually I am very soulful and spiritually deep myself so maybe this is where i get the ability to "Feel" his vibes. Scary, for a scorp??? You tell me???

    As far as being there and not running away from him......I can't do anything about the fact that he refuses to talk to me right now. During the first month of being apart, I tried to text him and talk to him but I got no response and if I ran into him at his parents house he would come into the same room and just stare at me......at first I would make eye contact but the one time I smiled at him when we passed each other in the hallway he told his mother I was mocking him. It doesnt matter what I do or say....I have been tried, sentenced, and executed by him.....in his eyes I am the worst person on the face of the earth at the current moment. All this because, because I demanded respect and made it clear that I WILL NOT stand by this so called friendship that he has with this married w h o r e......

    Funny enough though, in the beginning stages of our relationship it was him that chased me....called, texted showed up at my door unannounced, got angry that I talked to any male at all....but once I allowed him to run away and come back several times allowing myself to fall prey to being a doormat persay....the tables have turned. It's almost like when he goes to "The Dark" side of life he falls out of love with me for a short while.....and then something bring him back into the light. and he falls back in love. That what it appears anyways.

    This past spring when he came back.....he seemed more mature, which is a good thing. The only thing that concerned me was when he indicated to me, quite seriously I might add.......I love you and want to be with you but I am not ready to give you a commitment because I am scared I will run away again and I dont want to do that to you......so we are kinda together but not together.....THAT didnt sit well with me. I am VERY perceptive and highly intuned with my gut instincts......If something smells rotten.........it usually is!!! I just don't understand how he could look me passionately in the eyes while making love and ask me if I realize just how much he loves me yet completely ice me out the next minute......I thought scorpios were loyal to the ones they love? Is the secretiveness and ego building he gets from this other woman more important to him...he will never be with her in a relationship. She will never leave her husband and 3 kids and even if she did he would run like wild fire......he loved his new puppy he got after we split up for only a week.....lol then he even got bored of it. It seems as the days go by I get more confused.....I have made a point for the last 2 weeks to stay away from his house. I have even made an additional point of not telling his sister where I am going if I go out as I know she is his link for info on me.....its been bothering her I can see so I assume perhaps he has been coming down on her. I just dont know the best way to handle it right now since we have no communication.



  • Gem~ 16 years is a big difference, especially when the guy is younger..you're ready to settle and he is not. Has he been married? If not, he doesn't understand what it's like to be married, good lovin, food and building on love. If he has been, maybe he does want to be free for a while. I'm guessing he hasn't been married. After your marriage, have you taken time for you, to settle things and just chill? Are you a Christian or have faith in anyway? Do you believe what's right and wrong? would you do wrong? You are !!! Listen first ok...please settle down and take a deep breath....he's fooling around with a mrried woman !! he's committing a very stupid act...this is not smart in anyway..for him or for you...or for those kids.....you are 100% correct, she will never leave her family. What he's caught up in is the excitement and the emotional intensity of an affair, trust me, I have been there and will NEVER be there again, whats between the legs and sheets just isnt worth the pain, he will eventually see this. My point is this. On a level of the quality of life and growing, you're actuall falling further behind. Gem, do you really think if he comes back, after having this affair, that ALL will be right for you??? Please understand this, I dont mean to hurt your feelings, I can actually feel your heart racing as I write this and you havent even read it...Scorpios are so powerful !!! But hiw could you really expect this to work, it would be doomed from the start, it already is. Its time to walk away, for you my dear, gather your thoughts and begin to get stronger. I've been divorced for 10 years an have had many relationships, not sure if thats good or bad LOL, my point is this, when I divorced my author/therapist said, it's time to date YOURSELF..Another words, stop and get yourself together. I didnt realize it, but I was always in a relationship, leaving one, starting another, another reason my marriage was doomed. It wasnt built on solid ground. But when I took the time for me, 8 months before I dated again, I was able to be careful and decide what I wanted from a relationship and began to have some rules. I still found myself jumping into things too fast, but this time, I started to see all that was wrong and it scared me to stay. I finally was able to have a relationsip on my terms, which was slow and a good pace. This way, I can see the landscape and make sure this is where I want to be. Back to you, step back, take the time in between and listen to your heart. What does it tell you. THIS IS WRONG !! The right feeling, but the wrong guy. Sometimes your heart doesnt want to let go. Youve been hurt before, this guy has come in and was there. That tells me you jumped right into this. My ex dated a guy right after I moved out, that was ok, she needed it too. But what happened was this, she had a chance to leave him, we even talked about it, she didnt because he stepped right in, probably after I threatened to kick his fat, old ass all over...not a good thing,but you need to see the power and rage of a scorpio...it's scares everyone..LOL..ok sorry, well, this guy dies of a heart attack !! yep, she calls ME in the middle of the night and told me. We were even together the day he dies. Talk about guilt, she never recovered and we were very close on getting back together...my point and I can go on forever here, get out before something bad happens. What if he comes over, and her husband shows up, or, you 2 start a major fight, with cops and all....Im reading your story and to me my dear, you are not in a good place and you need to step back and start the process to get out. I would create space, gather your heart and date you until you are ready. You have "never been alone" since your marriage and you need time for you. Your poor heart is wrapped up ina guy who is creating a very nasty situation for himself and dragging you all through it, not smart. Many beautiful and inteliigent woman like you would never allow that to happen. It's time to straighten out your live before you regret it. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH...BETTER! As a single Scorpio who is doing very well and if you and I met and liked each other and we decided to go slow and date, and you shared this story with me, I would break it off before I got involved....do you get this??? way too much drama....STOP this shit, clear the air...get away from him. Think !!! You must tell him that if he wants you, he leaves her now, you 2 date slowly until YOUR satisfied. Lay the ground rulles, if he doesnt agree, GET OUT !!! Ok ??? Girl, youre playing with fire and if you're not careful your going to get burned, but not by some idiot like him, but by God !!! Good luck sweety, really !!!! Be smart here....would you rather be in this and all the pain and hurt, or, alone and all the freedom of peace???? if you miss the sex, get a vibrator !!! Doug



  • Hey Doug

    It's ok, you didn't hurt my feeling by being honest. I asked for your opinion/advice. I am a firm believer in being 100% than sugar coating anything. I would rather hurt you temporarily with my truth than to always have to carry around a rolodex with whom I have told what lie too..... 🙂

    I think my posts may not have been completely clear though. Yes, I do love him and will always love him. He was my best friend, before and during our relationship. However, I am the one that stepped back from all of it. I couldn't watch myself being destroyed any longer. I am a pretty tough cookie with the strength of Jobe.....I have been through a lot in life and have always come out the other end a stronger and better person. I always learn to take the negative lessons in life and find a poaitive aspect and build up that. I am a intelligent and independant who has her life together for the most part. I am able to recognize when something isn't working for me and dissect it, analyze it, and rebuild it if possible. This is what I attempted to do for the first year and a half of this relationship. In the last months of the realtionship is when I finally came to a conclusion that even IF I could rebuild it, it would NEVER be truly what I wanted and how I had envisioned.....not because he didn't share his visions of the future and they were very similar to mine but it was the actions versus the words that led me to my conclusion and the end of us.

    I have been alone......the last four years of my marriage I considered myself single. We slept in separate bedrooms, had no physical relationship whatsoever...not even once to be exact. He did his thing and I did mine. So when I finally had enough and asked him to move out of my house it was a freeing of my soul in a way......it was several months after that my scorp and I got together. Whenever he would run I always took "ME" time.....and am doing that again, but this time it's different. It is over for me......as much as I love him, I would NEVER be able to trust him. For me, when the trust is gone there is nothing to build upon. I guess what I was trying to say in my previous posts and I did a horrible job at it....lol was this.....we began as friends, shared a very deep love that touched my soul like no other and it frightens me to see him drifting down such a dark path.

    I have really been working on myself the last year.....I have been letting go any negativity that I felt towards people who wronged me and actually making peace with them.....it's what I would like to do with him. It's why throughout all of this turmoil I have never retaliated against him.....First I hate drama and will not participate in and secondly, anger breeds negativity....I would just rather walk away from the situation. I know who I am as a person and what my life is all about. I have a great job, a beautiful house, a nice new car....great family and friends.....I don't want to be mixed in with the whole affair thing. It's morally wrong and he is a better person than this......he always judged others for this behaviour and it was due to an affair that messed up his heart forever. So this is why its so shocking he would venture down this path after having his first love destroy him so badly.

    Regardless, I do know that if he were to ever come knocking at my door again things would NEVER be good. From the first moment the one thing I told him NEVER EVER to do to me was be unfaithful.....I will tolerate just about anything short of abuse but there is zero tolerance in my life for cheaters. He went and did the one thing he knew I wouldnt accept.......hiding it and lying to me, but saying I love you and only you to my face. How could one forgive that?? He surely wouldn't.....look at how I am getting stung right now for doing really except walking him to my door and saying very lovingly I hope u have a nice life.....

    I too could go on and on about this frustrating situation but I just wanted to make clear that other than being hurt that my best friend could do this.....I am doing okay. I am healing slowly and using this life experience to grow and become a better person. There will come and point and time perhaps in a few months or even a year when I will get to speak my hearfelt peace and tell him just what his actions did to me.....will it mean anything, who knows. I have to hope that as he matures he will see just how these actions hurt somebody that he loved and that was unconditionally there for him through everything. Oh well, whatever is meant to be, will be I suppose.

    I am glad though that due to your experience in the underworld (affair) lol you were able to recognize that guilty pleasures of the soul isn't the kind of gourmet food that can sustain a healthy soulful physique..... 🙂

    I hope from my post you can see that I wasn't with him just for the s e x or that it what I miss from him. It is our bond of friendship that we had before ANY other relationship developed....that is ALL I would like to have back from him one day. I don't engage in random sexual activity......as a matter of fact I have never even had a one night stand. To me any type of physical interaction has to be mentally and spiritually engaging before anything physical can occur.....again, not your typical flighty Gemini. Just wanted to get that out there so u can understand I'm not some shallow woman just in it for the thrill of the s e x. Also the heart can distinguish a number, it feels what it feels. I have several friends who are in age gap relationships larger than mine was and they have beautiful relationship.....I think it comes down to maturity levels more than anything and unfortunately I was involved with a mommas boy who also had difficulty severing the apron strings.....Ok, so I will end it on that note for now.

    Helen



  • Helen, Now that was a good post. I'm proud of you. You do sound very together and that you've put this sitaution in perspective. But one thing I didnt hear, make sure you have decided what you're going to do when he walks back in, stands at your door, or you see him out. Make sure you're ready to move on. From what I read, you wont have a problem meeting the man you're looking for. One who will be a solid friendship first and respect your ideals regarding intimacy. You MUST severe this relationship in order to allow the next man to walk in. This way, when that man does come into your life, he has very good values, education, great job, home etc...you will be in the right place to come together. Because that man does not deserve the drama. This is a good place to mention this,beware and be ready that when you severe this, your ex doesnt freak out and create a problem. Be smart here. Be ready. If he does one stupid thing that frightens you, then threaten him with the Police. Just a word of caution. If he leaves quietly, which, I doubt, then go for you. All is done. But if it was me, I'm going out with some noise !! I didn;t judge you and wouldnt judge you. We are all adults and your sex life, is your own. If you want to be permiscuous, that's your decision. When I had the affair, it not only created a major issue for me, which was running back and forth and lying ! My soul was hurting, I knew it, but what happened to me was that, once the dust settled and I knew I wasn't leaving, then I had to get out of the situation that I created and that hurt other people. What a mess, talk about drama. I found out that I wasnt SuperScorpio and have my cake and eat it too. Sex can really create some messes. My pint is this, my ex got a boob job and was overwhelmed with attention from other men, she messed around because of me, and got Herpes !! we discussed this and I was there for her when she had an out break....my point is this....get OUT of this situation completely and re-build a strong life. Choose wisely this time around Grasshopper....the right man is a look, a word, or a text away.......You got a head on your shoulders, youre going to be fine...Good luck to you....Doug



  • Hey Doug

    Since I read your reply you have left me thinking.....I never mentioned what I would do or say if he came back because .I have not considered him showing up again. Perhaps I am naive to believe this but I guess that I just figured it was finally over this time. I guess that if I had done and said half the stuff he did I would be ashamed and embarrassed to ever face the person again.

    I am not afraid of any physical violence from him......like I mentioned before, he does have a temper but when we were together he was always loving and tender. The only time I ever saw him go after someone was when we were out in a club and a guy would come near me, whether it was on the dance floor or if I was at the bar waiting to get a drink and a man would strike up an innocent coversation with me. It was like he had radar and would appear from out of nowhere and would make sure it was known that I was his property. Other than that there was never any violence. But why on earth would he cause a scene now?...we havent spoken in two months. Plus, if he did show up, I have a list a mile long of things this chatty gemini wants to say.......lol

    Helen



  • Helen, Tha's so true. One thing Scorpios are and that's territorial, this is one beautiful quality we have and real woman like. My ex use to say, "you always make me feel safe" ...I'm like that with all my possessions, dont EVER mess with a Scorpios possessions. The stinger really comes out. I think he does LOVE you, very much. If he was all of that, then he does and you're right, you shouldn't worry about any explosion of temper. You said a word that made me think how deep you and him are and that's "property". Then there is a deep connection between the 2 of you, that can NEVER be broken. But unfortunatly, that doesnt mean everything will be fine and this is the dilemma many face at this junction.

    Short story, when I moved out, I was devistated, 12 years together, you really have alot wrapped up in each other and its extremely difficult to function, alone! Your like 2 people wrapped up in 1 person. We both had so much and we did love each other. I read a book called "Getting Back Together" because it was different. The author Dr Masa Goetz wrote about break ups were common and people who really LOVE each other find ways to come back. Break ups are enevitable because theres just too much pain built up and the best thing is to get away. Sometimes couples come back even after divorcing for years. I'm sure you heard those type stories. It may me feel very good to seperate. So what did I do, I was tired of going to therapist, paying $100 p/hr and just talking, I mean my guy friend was giving me better advice and it was more accurate, LOL. Well, I called Dr Masa Goetz in San Diego, she picked up the phone and from that point on, for 6 months she became my therpaist, frined and grandmother....I payed her mind you, but she really helped. The plan was to get my ex wife back. So for almost 1 1/2 I tried to reconcile I follwed all Dr Goetz advice and it seems to work, ALMOST !! There was just too many forces pulling us in different directions. We ALMOST got back together,but it didnt happen. I left California and moved to Seattle to heal. We remain some what friends because she cant talk about the past, too painful. I know she still loves me but has since married and when we do just say hi via text, she says, dont talk about the past. So, we say every 6 months or so, just to know where we are at.

    My pint is this. You seem to have love between you. Your situation is strained and especially with another woman and this really goes against your beliefs, and I dont blame you. It could however change, maybe! Such as, if he showed up on your door step and said, can we talk, and you do, and he tells you that he's done, he screwed up and you are the one woman that he loves and always has loved. That his heart misses you wherever he is, and he knows it. He wants to start fresh and if you agree, its by your terms and he will be diligent in letting that happen. Then, he begins to stick by his word and see that he actually is a changed man. But this may NOT happen. Thats why you need to move forward. I sit here 11 years later and still care for my ex, the love has seeped down into the deep crevises of my soul but I know at one time, I did love. So, you will always love him and how do you know, your heart tells you. But love hurts and its so damn unpredictable and it does have a will of its own that we cannot control. I remebet a Jim Carey movie, in fact 2 movies, one, Liar, where he leaves the courtroom to go into the mens room and begins beating HIMSELF up, a guy comes in, bewildered at the scene, Jim looks at him and say...yeah! and the guy says what the hell are you doing..and Jim Craey says, I'm kicking MY ASS, do you mind !!! the other movies, was Bruce Almighty, when he broke up with Jennifer Aniston and he came to see her, as God and with his powers...when she walks away and says, its over...he begins to try and use his powers and he says..love me, love Me, LOVE ME !!!! and it doesnt work...not even with the power of God...

    Youre at the railroad station Helen, your bags are packed, youre on the platoform of your life, the train is going, somewhere, anywhere, but where you are??? You look back, because the LOVE is drawing you, the familiar feeling of intimacy, sweet kisses, breathing with him, the gentle touches and warmth you both felt, the ease and safety to be around a Scorpio....the emotional pull he has over you....but then, the other womans face appears in your mind....Whats the plan Helen ? Only you can answer that, no one hear can. We can provide our personal stories, our sad stories, but, you have to decide. If you stay, more pain unless you get LUCKY, and the heavens part and make this into a happy ending, or, you envision your new home, new car, and good life with someone, who may NOT fulfill you, but give almost everything. I know, my ex fell short, you know how, she told me each time we did talk. We dont anymore though, too hard and I understand that. So rest assure Helen, he is missing you. You are fresh in his mind. He dream about you, and feel you. But you dont know what forces are wrapped around him now and he probably doesnt either. In 10 years, he may have a clue. My guess, if he doesnt learn from the pain he feels and has caused, then he wont change. Never changing means, the person has not isolated why the pain was caused. Was it me, did I do it. Then decide, then make a covenant that it will NEVER happen again. But many times, men and woman, just continue doing what theyve done because they dont know how to change.

    So Helen, if you decide to get on the train, pull up your chin, pick up your bags, get on board, and dont look back.....oh, 2 seats up on the right...the tall gut behind the heavy set lady, is a wonderful man who has noticed you !!!!!



  • Helen, one last thought as I sit here thinking. We love someone because that person has created new and exciting feelings, emotions that are so wonderful to us. Feelings of intimacy that fulfill, excite and bring us to such powerful emotions that has never been felt. But then, through all the crap of fighting, lying, cheating, we lose that, it falls deeper away until we forget what it was like. Thats the scary part. The person who helped created these intense and wonderful feelings is now doing this with someone else, so, we fight back because we dont want to lose those feelings that this person has created. But now, the other person wants that too and is fighting back as well. How can anything be the same after all that! Sometimes, it can, according to Dr Goetz, and sometimes it cant, according to Doug Robinson. We see and become intimate in time with other people trying to get that feeling, but each person doesnt create that 'SPECIAL" something. We may not get the complete package and have to settle, but we may not. This is the part where life is hard. The standards have been set in the category of intimacy for you, and for all of us. Theres alot of people here hurting, missing, crying, fighting, pleading, begging, hoping, wishing....thats all for love...that magic we think we see with other people whom we all want to be like. The perfect couple, that every girl and boy should become. Youre smarter now, use that. Attract the right guy !!!! Get what you want !!! There are plenty of loving,caring men who know how to love a woman.



  • Hey Doug

    Territorial is an understatement....lol I think this is where the obsessions come into the picture....lol Some people had a lot of issues with this trait. I, like your ex wife loved this aspect actually. I too always felt very safe and protected by him......Funny that we were talking about this obsessive behaviour. Like I had mentioned before his sister has lived with me since June of this year. We hadn't seen much of each other this past week as she was sick and had stayed at her parents house for several days.Thursday night however she came home. Friday morning I was getting ready for work and out of the blue she starts telling me that on Wednesday she was laying on his bed watching TV and he came in and went on his laptop. She happened to look over and saw him on my facebook page YET AGAIN......We are not even friends on there anymore. I post inspirational quotes daily and she kinda watched him out of the corner of her eye as he went through and read everything.....

    This is the part that confuses me......if somebody doesn't want to be with you why would they bother to basically stalk you? Whether it be in person or online. I know he views my facebook and I hope that some of the quotes I post will help him as much as it gives me light in the darker moments and gives others faith as well.....

    I understand that a Scorpio will LOVE a person forever and never forget them but doesn't that make it worse by constantly hanging on like that......What is he hoping to read, see, or feel from keeping tabs on me like that?

    Using your analogy.......I can envision myself standing at the train station, bags packed and at one moment hopping on the next train to "ANYWHERE"......because I just cant take it anymore. Sitting staring out the window and watching life pass by, something in my soul frightens me and I wonder what the heck I'm doing by running away.....I am strong enough to face this and not run away......I love him and should fight for this. I go back to the original train station and just stand there yet again......wondering, hoping, wishing!!!! I hope day I will be able to hop on that trian for good.....but at this point I just dont know if I am ready to do that. I do live my life to the fullest everyday and have ventured closer to "The Tracks"......lol but it's the pull in my heart that keeps a lil hope alive that we will at least have a friendship back one day.

    I am glad that you are still able to keep the lines of communication open with your ex.....I think as we mature how we view relationships change a lot. All the past issues that at the time were HUGE and put us into crisis actually seem very insignifigant later on in life......for me anyways. I think back and an so surprised how I left certain things affect me the way they did.....I hope one day to be able to look back on this experience and feel the say way.



  • Hi Helen,

    Good post and thank you for trusting me enough to discuss your personal feelings, but that's what this site is about. I'm an intern working in psychology. Right ! I have a BS Psychology and a BS Business. I'm actually getting ready to bein a masters in psychology and who knows, maybe even further. I found that I was so intrigued by the mind and Freud is my hero in academics.

    As a Scorpio, now please keep in mind, I'm a Christian man, I dont dive all the way into Astrology because I feel it delves on the side of taboo and the dark side. I dont intend to insult anyone at all on here, to each his. But I can't help finding the traits and characteristics so dead on. with birth signs. I have so many qualities described under the sign of the Scorpion. But I also have been through so many things growing up and I realized that in myself, way before I discovered birth signs that I had some serious issues in relationships and my behavior, on the lines of self destruction. So, somewhere along the way I discovered personality and psychology was a way to change behavior.

    I wanted to change certain things about me, such as my over the top, anger problem. Not hatred, just explosive anger. You can say, I'm a short fuse. I realized that if I can channel the energy, I can use it in really good places, such academics, physical fitness which I've been doing all my life, music and other positive things, such as having fun in a relationship by doing all kinds of fun things making each other happy. I realizes that as a Scorpio, I had some amazing qualities, so thats where I focused. I realized that if I wasnt careful, I woul be going down a dangerous path and ruin my life. I didnt want to be 70 years old and regretting what I did, or didnt do.

    OK, sorry, but I needed to say this as a Scorpio. II feel your Scorpio is self destructive, He seems to be on the negative side of doing all the bad things. He checks your FB because as a Scorpio, we are natural probers, investigators and I'm sure you're not the only one he's checking on. The obsession that you mention is combined with compulsion. This is important. I'm obsessive because my energy level, my impulses, or compulsions naturally keep my fine tuned and keen instincts on everything I touch. I just started coming to this site by accident and have found it pretty cool to discuss relationships. I already have made a very good friend on here. I check to see if you have been answering me. See what I mean. If you're compulsive/obsessive, which is a good thing, what are you compulsive and obsessive about? You are with all the things that are in your life, right? Such as FB, Twitter, politics, sports...etc. I bet if he is into sports, he has a favorite team and knows all about them. Does he work? If he does, he's probably good at it. Helen, you are within his immediate radar, so, he still wants to know about you. Scorpios never let anyone they have known totally disappear from their radar. Your relationship is still fresh in his mind until his life changes. For example, he gets married, has children and decides he's very happy. But, he will never let them totally go.

    Our minds can handle so much knowledge and information and he's a young Scorpio with a fresh mind. What a waste ! I realized after my divorce, all the pain and stupid mistakes I made. I was done and committed. I date one girl at a time and if it doesnt work, I sit her down and tell her that. So far, I've never had anyone say it to me. But, I dont hurt anyone anymore. Because I know, if I do it right, then good things will happen. And I always meet and date very good woman, like you, smart and confident. Another point, in the situation you're in, you cant date another man. That would be wrong, becasue you know in the back of your mind how you feel, and, it wouldnt last while he is still in your heart.

    So back to the train station. What I hear you saying is this. Pick up your bags, and leave the station behind. Start to fight for him. But this time, you really fight. And, if it doesnt work, then you need to get back to that station and this time., get on the train and go, anywhere.

    Woman like drama, they like emotions, Scorpios can be very emotional, they can teach you to go places you never have been. My question is this. Are you emotional enough for him??? Scorpios crave intensity in so many ways....physically, mentally....if he has created moments of high intensity, like bungy jumping, or, fighting as a soldier in Afghanistan, then, he will always be seeking that level. Obviosuly he probably hasnt but, since you know him, what has he gone through. Can you match his level, this is what he is seeking !! and he doesnt even know it. A Scorpio has impulses, all the time and their running.....my advice, match his intensity, that means when he comes over, get in his face, show him the pain and suffering and love that you are experiencing because of him.....or better yet...since you know hes reading your FB, put something on there that will draw him to you...do it descretly...Scorpios love drama, crime, invetigation...but they can nieve as well....well, than give him a trail that will lead him back to you.....put on there you met another guy, you like him and he's coming over for dinner !!! Go Girl !!!

    I dont know, but if my ex called me today and fought for me...after 11 years....but really fought...I think I would go back....Let me know what happens...I'll be looking for your post....HAVE SOME FUN WITH THIS...



  • Hey Doug

    Hope you have been well.....I haven't responded to you because I have been processing all that you said to me in your last post. Processing, analyzing, dissecting,examining EVERYTHING under a microscope and thinking, thinking and more thinking.....lol

    I have been extremely angry the last week as well which I know, is not conducive to rational thinking.... 🙂 However, I have heard that my Scorpio has been spotted with this married woman quite a bit lately...... Totally set me off!!!!!!

    Saying I am livid right now doesn't even scratch the surface of my emotional state. It's so morally dispicable how they are behaving and I can't fathom the thought of them being together. Here's the kicker though.....I can't quite unwind my emotions. I don't know if I am more angry at him for how stupid and immature he is behaving or angry ay myself for still loving him. I am WAY to strong of a person to allow ANYONE to rape my emotional state so deeply. I do not have an addictive personality at all. Yet, this man ( I use the word loosely) has completely taken over my core. As a matter of fact I felt so frustrated today that I made an appointment with a psychologist that I saw a year ago after my father passed away and all this "Stuff" started with my Scorp. I hope he is able to help me sort out of these feelings..

    So with that out of the way, your suggestion that I "fight" for him has left me even more confused......I have pondered the question over and over in my head. How do I fight for someone who is so friggen wrapped up in the excitement of a having a married woman feeding his Grand Canyon sized ego that he has blocked me from his life. I think the next statement I'm going to type will pretty much sum up how he feel........ He loves to hate me, yet hates to love me. Between his Scopionic stubborness and ego and my pride and self respect we are at an impasse. I just CANNOT bring myself to chase him. If he were to show up on my doorstep, I would be able to express ALL my emotions to him on the deepest of levels.....but to chase after him when he is wrapped up in this hideous drama.....I can't do it.

    I love him and would love to have him back in my life. Let me re-phrase that.......I would love to have the man I fell in love with back in my life. The good person that I know is somewhere underneath the dark, egotistical and self destructive one that is occupying his soul right now....... but I just can't chase him, and allow him to push me away further for his own amusement and ego building pleasures......when he is in this mode, he gets so cocky and arrogant......I know this is a facade. I just don't get what takes him to this level of supressing his true feelings behind it. Fear of what is real perhaps. The fear of actually having to acknowledge true feelings, again just a theory on my experience with him.....whenever he comes out of this "mode" and shows up on my doorstep being the loving soul.

    I have NEVER chased him, he is always the one that comes back around......like I said, I do post things on my FB daily and I won't stop doing that. I did send him a brief email on FB a few days ago......and basically said. I have recently gotten wind that you and Sarah have been spotted out in public and I would assume that you are now making it known in an unashamed way that you are together. I am happy that you are getting your happy ending and hopefully mine won't be too far off either for reasons I won't get into at this time. You know I only ever wanted the best for you. I will probably always wish that I had been your hearts choice but I have come to terms with that now. Now that everything is out on the table, perhaps it won't be so awkward if we have to run into each other at your parents we can at least acknowledge each other in a mature way. Take Care

    Of course I didn't get a response.....I didn't expect too. I just wanted him to know that I know they have been seen togther so that one day when he shows up on my doorstep again he will not be able to continue the lies. I had to console his mother last weekend as she was on the verge of tears over what he is doing.....it's diffcult for me as I too am so full of angry emotions that I have to be supportive for her sake and be a friend instead of the ex....... it's why I have tried to distance myself from it all the last few weeks......it's starting to take it's toll. I don't wwant to be around all of it right now......I am trying to somehow heal myself and some days I feel like I have taken 10 steps forward to get pulled 20 steps back the next day.

    Hopefully, this all made some semblance of sense.....I have started and stopped about 10 times 🙂

    Helen



  • Hi Helen, I'm really sorry what youre going through. In the new light of things I would not chase or fight now. Backing off and finding your emotional state of mind is priority. I dont think he's going anywhere for a while. My educated guess on what h's doing is this; his fun is going to come to end. If they are both seen out togther, they are being arrrogant and cocky, this will eventually backfire, trust me. Something is going to give, if she still has a husband, children etc...and since his mother is unhappy well, then they dont have anyones support, theres no way this is going to be a happy ending.

    If I was you, I would begin the process to get my self together, go out with friends, take some walks and do something....you said "raping your emotional state" wow that's pretty powerful, you are angry and rightfully so...get yourself together...time right now is a good thing....I'm sure he will come around...this just cant work.....sure he's not answering your FB because he doesnt want you to think he's even reading it, but he is. He knows where your at. He may be playing this because in the back of his mind, he knows your going to be there, so he's taken this out for a ride to see where it goes. Now, I dont think these two will be together, very unlikiely...the world just doesnt work that way....something major is going to happen and he will be back..This will be over, its just a matter of time...when it is, the man you know will re-surface....and he will learn a lesson from this...so be ready and prepared...HE WILL BE BACK...and he will be in your arms again....be thankful she's married...because that scenario just cant work..I never see them working...theres too much drama and difficulty...sooner or later its over...when it is, be ready to confront him...and how you handle that will either keep him or lose him....do you understand???

    Its hard on you to see whats happening and its in the open, so you feel betrayed, used and everything else....and you should....but he will return to you....If it was me, and I knew you were there, waiting, and this came up and I was in it with this woman, I would take it out for a ride...knowing that thsi isnt good but it's exciting for the moment, that is, until the trouble starts...then I would get out quickly...I even thibnk he has an exit strategy....Hey, have considered casual dating...just for now????? Doug


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