Need a reading and/or advice

  • My B/D 4/12/61, his 08/26/64. Friends for 17 years in a relationship for 3 months. Got into an argument and he said I crossed the line and I blew it with him. Sent him a card, he called, then hung up on me. I tried to talk to him at this house and he shut the door on me. I then returned some stuff he gave to me and he called and left me extremely angry VMs stating I burned the bridge and he never, ever wanted to talk to me again. Sent my son to his house on Sunday and he is still mad and again said I crossed way over the line and I cost him money on his cell phone for the texts I sent him. I sent my son back with a check and he looked at it and said," right on thanks. If I stay away from him will he eventually talk to me and maybe want to salvage the friendship? I know he was in love with me. The week before we broke up he told me he had wanted me for 17 years and felt like he had been given a second chance with me.... said he wanted to be with me forever and ever. Said he felt he was living a fairy tale and was very happy.

  • This relationship, be it a love affair or a marriage, would always be under a certain strain as your friend has a nervous stressed streak that does not meld well with your intuitive, spontaneous side. For example, if you wanted to invite some friends to the home you share with your Virgo, he might get all bent out of shape when all he wants is a warm, quiet evening alone. He prefers planning and rationality to spontaneity. It would only be a matter of time before you were looking around for an escape route and this too would make your partner even more nervous and difficult. You do like the fact that you could leave many responsibilities to your more ordered partner but your insecurity would be increased because of his nitpicking and critical behaviours and his disappearing acts. You two are not compatible for love here - you do better when you don't see each other so often.

    And people can say a lot of pretty things to you - but it's their behaviour and their treatment of you that speaks loudest about whether their love is true or not. Stop coddling this baby - his actions are childish and petty. He is trying to control and dominate you, trying to make you the only one in the wrong. Could you really cope with this person as your lover or spouse? Kick this loser to the curb and don't give in to his tantrums.

  • Thanks..I really don't like going out or having people over..I liked it when we had quiet evenings alone together just talking and watching movies. As far as the tantrums go..this was the first that I had wintnessed in the 17 years I'd known him. I think he is still under a lot of stress since his mom died in March.

    Question: Do you think he will miss me and talk to me again eventually either as a friend or maybe to try it one more time? During our long friendship he had always, always been there for me.

  • I really don't feel your friendship can ever be the same again after this. I'm also not sure if you know this guy as well as you think you do. He has a dark side that he generally hides from others until they get close to him. Did you ever see him display his present behaviour when you were just friends?

  • No,,,never. He seems to have changed in March after his mother died. He has been very stressed out handling all of her estate stuff, etc. I am not the only one he has gotten angry at however, I got the brink of it since I was the closest to him. He told his friend that if I would have given him space after the fight, things would have been ok, however I wanted to try to resolve it quickly. Being friends all that time I thought we would have been able to. Some of the transitions from friendship to relationship were difficult. After the fight I sent him a card and he read it and called me the next day to talk. Don't remember what I said but he hung up and like an idiot I went to his house and he didn't want to talk, Having my feelings hurt I returned some stuff to him, texted him and that is where he got really mad...because I wouldn't let it go and give him time to think things out. He was already mad and I pushed him to the edge. One time about 4 years ago we got into a little tiff on the phone and we both hung up angry. A few months later we talked, the tiff wasn't brought up and everything was the same as always.

  • No, your friend has not suddenly changed - he simply let out everything he has always carried inside him but kept hidden from everyone. What you saw was the real person, not his false facade that he puts on in order to be accepted and protected.

Log in to reply