Did he break up with me? Help Please!

  • Hi,

    I have been dating a guy for about a month (His name is Richard dob is 2/6/82....We usually text/chat everyday and we usually see each other every weekend. Lately I feel he's been distant so I asked him if he wants to call it quits because he doesnt seem too interested anymore. He said he didnt want to call it quits. He texted me yesterday morning asking if he will get to see me last night. I tried to text/ call to confirm that the plans of meeting up and couldnt reach him. He was unresponsive to my calls and texts. I havent heard from him all day today either. This is strange because we havent been in an argument or anything. So my question is....Are we thru? Will I hear from him again anytime soon? Is it time to just move on and forget about him? My name is Leah and my dob is 2/9/84. Any help or insight into the matter will be greatly appreciated.

  • The problem here is that neither of you is inclined to take the action or the lead in this relationship. So it may never really get off the ground. Without some sort of leadership, the two of you may just drift without direction. There is a marked resistance to aggressive behaviour in this relationship which is unfortunate, since a desire to leave things as they are may be spoiling your chances for success. This relationship can suffer from disinterest or complacency and needs one of you to give it a push to get it rolling. But even then it can still lose all its momentum and burn out. The prospects for a longterm romance here are slim. Once you part, it will be even more difficult, if not impossible, to motivate each other to try again

  • You seem to be attracted to air signs like yourself but what you really need is someone earthy to ground you like a Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn. It's good to have someone you can talk to but you really need someone solid and dependable to look after you and attend to all the practical details of life.

  • Thanks Captain. I actually heard from him late last night and he said that I dont seem to be giving enough of myself to him and that he wants all of me minus the walls I have up (what walls?). He feels last on my priority list. Then he tells me that he LOVES ME. Of course, I dont believe him because we have only been together for a month. I have feelings for him but they are very minimal and I feel its too soon to genuinely "love" him. I really dont feel his disappearing act had anything to do with me not giving 100% of myself. I feel like that was just the best excuse he could think of for standing me up.

  • Yes this would always be a rather on-again, off-again (more off than on/only when he feels like it) relationship.

  • Thanks so much for the insight...this has been quite difficult. I told him I wanted to slow things down some so we dont rush, crash, and burn. I had a hard time believing that he's in love with me after only knowing me a month. And now that I've told him that I want to put the brakes on us some, he wont talk to me...again.

  • People who tell you they love you very early on are usually more in love with being in love or a relationship than with a person.

  • Thanks Captain....would you say it is over between he and I at this point? He's not really communicating with me. I have tried several times. I'm not exactly sure why he's so upset with me for simply telling how I felt about him thinking he's in love. I dont want to end things, just wanted to take it a little slower.

  • You broke his fantasy of love by questioning it. It would be easier on you if you got involved with someone more grounded in reality. You would probably have never measured up to this guy's ideal of a lover - nor will anyone else. This guy needs to wake up and stop dreaming of some fantasy relationship.

  • Thanks Captain,

    I guess you are right. Maybe I should just move on even though I do have some feelings for him. He sent me a few texts that werent very nice today. I kept apologizing for hurting his feelings and no matter what I said he just kept telling I play with his heart and feelings. So maybe I wont ever here from him again....?

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  • Thanks for your input Pooperpop,

    I'm not to sure what my gut instinct is trying to tell me. I do wish it could work and I do wish that he'd come around again. I'm just not sure if that will happen. I feel bad that I hurt him but, I didnt expect things to turn out this way. I would have liked us to go slow and steady instead of crash and burn.

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  • Thanks pooperpop,

    I guess my gut doesnt want to offer me any advice at the moment...all I know is I would have liked this relationship with Richard to work out.

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  • I'm definitely going to take your advice on being happy and setting boundaries...what I am unclear about is if I'll even hear from him again.

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  • Thanks pooperpop...I have already let go. 🙂 It seems like that is what he wanted....I think. He left me so confused because he said I play with his heart when I only asked him to apply the brakes. I felt like he was rushing us to be "in love"....he asked not to be contacted again and I'm respecting that....my question is...will he respect his own wishes.

  • Leahmya, Richard has this fixed fantasy ideal of what a love partner should be - it's more based on unreality than anything real or practical. He falls for someone quickly, thinking she is his perfect woman, only to find out she is only human after all. I am sure he has a long history of this happening. Now that he has had his fantasy bubble busted again, i doubt he will want to stay in contact with you. It wasn;t anything you did wrong - he is just too emotionally immature to want a real woman. He will keep moving on from person to person looking for the perfect partner who doesn't exist, always being disappointed. There is no need for you to apologize to him.

  • Thanks Captain,

    It will be easy to move on from this as long as he doesnt contact me either.

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